Once the sociopath has the victim “hooked” and under their control, that charming person you first met, seemingly disappears. And the mask comes off and the true person that they really are comes out. And it is the opposite of the person you ‘thought’ you knew. And in most cases, it is too late. They have figured out ANY weaknesses, insecurities, and vulnerabilities that you have. They take these "weaknesses" and use subtle ways to make you feel that this weakness is so ugly, that if anyone was to find out you have this trait, you will be ostracized from society. You probably have also confided in them, since they presented themselves as understand, sympathetic, and kind.
You soon learn that this person is anything but Kind, Understanding, and Sympathetic.
Sociopaths are charismatic people. They are great performers. Their entire life is based on lies, deceit, hurt, deception, malicious thoughts actions. They are bullies. They have usually been bullies their entire lives. They have spent their entire existence making someone's life miserable everywhere they go. They go from Victim, to Victim doing this. Once they have drained one victim, and that person has nothing else to give to the sociopath, they toss them out like trash and move on quickly to their next victim. The sociopaths family knows them all to well. It is the family of the sociopath who has really experienced the bullying and torment of this soulless individual and has felt the intimidation for the longest at the hands of their own flesh and blood. Life for anyone who lives and knows and still communicates with the sociopath is nothing more than a pure living hell.
Unfortunately they have their entire family so afraid of their “wrath” that the sociopaths family will lie for them, and defend them, because if they do not, the sociopath will turn their attention on one of them. And after years of suffering, the family feels defeated and afraid.
When you are the target of a sociopath, the sociopath will do unthinkable things to you. Sociopaths are hard wired in their brain to deceive, hurt, manipulate, control, deny and blame.
Normal people are not hard wired in this way. Unfortunately though, I have seen many victims of sociopaths that have been so traumatized by the mental abuse and emotional torment of a sociopath, they soon themselves have become more capable of manipulation, blaming others, playing the victim, and using passive aggressive behaviors. Unfortunately this is the only way the victim feels they can survive the mind games and abuse that the sociopath has continuously
inflicted upon them.
Even after the relationship is over with the sociopath, the victim is emotionally beat down, numb, insecure, and guarded. This is a normal response to being emotionally abused and betrayed by someone whom you felt loved you.
This is a normal reaction to any kind of emotional abuse. The victim must realize that this is NOT THEIR FAULT. But they also must realize that they cannot continue to allow the sociopath to be any part of their life. It's easy to lose yourself when you have been traumatized by a vindictive, hateful, greedy sociopath.
I once heard that the best way to find youself, is to lose yourself first. So yes, even though you have been through hell. There really is light at the end of the tunnel. The light seen may mean you had to endure pain, hurt and betrayal. But if you accept that life is what it is, and we all have problems and misfortunes (some worse than others) You will be ok! Don't allow the sociopath the pleasure to ruin the rest of your life. Because once you get rid of the sociopath — LIFE CAN BEGIN, again...
After years of knowing a sociopath. Rather the sociopath is a lover, spouse, family member or friend.
You are traumatized. You have been through the worst with one of the worst of all people. One that is unable to feel any remorse or guilt for the pain they cause. Victims may not always look traumatized, or at least look as one would imagine that a victim should look. But in fact victims usually must transform themselves into someone who they are not, because of the shame and guilt they feel.
SHAME AND GUILT... The sociopaths favorite way to break down their victims.
