Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The lies, rumors and pain that come with a sociopath

 When we have been abused, betrayed, lied to, cheated on, had rumors spread about us, lost friends, felt isolated, been afraid, lost everything, doubted ourselves, felt guilty, believed it was our fault - more than likely we were in a relationship with a sociopath. Or we were friends, or have a sociopathic family member.  

Once we discovered the truth, and realized we are not the only victim of this person, who had some how destroyed our life, our soul, and left us with little to no trust in the world. We are able to begin healing from the traumatic experience. Healing takes time. We are weak, alone, afraid, and don't know who we can trust.

The hardest part of healing is feeling safe and facing the world. 

We want to withdraw, because the sociopath has said so many horrible things about us, we feel shame. AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SOCIOPATH WANTS US TO FEEL. 

When my sociopath spread rumors about me all over town — to my child's  school, to my neighbors, to people who i respected in the community. I was afraid to leave the house. I was afraid of what others were thinking about me. What lies had my sociopath told everyone? And did anyone believe those lies. My sociopath alread had a reputation in town for stealing, and abusing drugs and sleeping around, so why would people believe the lies that were being  spread?

I felt that people would rather believe the bad they have heard about you - rather than the good. It seems people don't go around talking about the good about you. But they will go around talking about anything bad about you - even if it's not true.

For a while I felt isolated from the world. I did not want to leave my home. 
Even though the people who knew me, knew the hardships I had been through with this sociopath. They new that this person was very dangerous and hated me for moving on with my life. The sociopath wanted and still wants to hurt me, and make my life unbearable. I'm not sure why.. Boredom, or because I moved on and found someone who loves me for me and we were happy. 
What I have noticed is that all Sociopaths are jealous of everyone. 

Since there is nothing real authentic and genuine about the sociopath, and they don't understand or care to understand emotions. They just see everyone as a conquest, or threat. Not as humans, who feel pain. There is not much "humanness" in a sociopath.. And when they get done with you, you may feel they stole some part of your humanness.

A close friend of mine has been dealing with a vindictive female sociopath.  It is his ex wife. He has been divorced from the sociopath for over 9 years and separated for over 14. She had numerous affairs after they adopted their 2nd child. Finally after one of the affairs became very public due to the fact the man she was cheating with was married, and they both held prominant careers in the community, he filed for divorce. He has been through hell and back. This is his story, in his words...
When I went no contact and chose to ignore my sociopath, that's when things got very ugly. I refused 
to communicate with the ex. So my ex decided to tell everyone, and put it on social media that i was a "cyber stalking troll". Even using my first and last name to slander me. My ex made up a fake domain site in my name. Pretending to be me, and impersonating me in an unfavorable manner.  Basically painting a picture of a very unstable person, that was trying to get help for my mental problems. The worst part was if you googled my name, the website that my ex started about me was the first thing that came up. That is  when I said “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”

I contacted a friend of mine who is a police officer. And I ask what could be done about this website that my ex started about and was impersonating me in such a way. It was slander and defamation.
My friend informed me that it was cyber stalking, and I should file a police report. — so I did 

Which only made my ex crazier. Although the website was taken down, I was now being
accused of more horrific things. Now my sociopath ex wife was going to social media, claiming how she felt afraid for her children, because I was unstable, she believed I would kidnap them at a soccer game or from school. This was horrible because I felt afraid to go to my sons soccer game, because I didn't know what she would do or say, she had went to Facebook, and Twitter pretending to be living a life of fear because of me. 
What I began to notice was a pattern. She may have went to social media bashing me, but she expected me to pick up kids on my weekend. This is when I realized how unstable and deranged she was. She was only looking to ruin my reputation in the community, she still expected me to get the kids (even though she claimed she was in fear for their safety) 

I felt confused. I wanted to get my children. But with the unpredictable ex, I didn't know if I was being set up. Was I going to show up at the school to get my children, and the cops would be waiting to arrest me? Would my kids even be there, considering she loved leading me on wild gooses chases just to waste my time and make things difficult on me? 
I decided my children were worth whatever risk. And after all I had filed a complaint against her for impersonation and cyber stalking (which set her off to go on a rampant on social media) Bit it was still documentation, if my ex had something sinister planned. I remember so many times going to pick them up, feeling so much anxiety. Anxiety and fear consumed me. This woman had no limits and would not hesitate to destroy me, my new wife, and even my step daughter, who was at the time very little (5 years old). Sociopaths are so low, they will destroy children (even their own) just to hurt another person. 

I wondered if this crap would ever stop. I felt hopeless... I began to stop looking online, and begin to focus only on myself my children and healing. It was very tempting to want to get online and see what my ex was saying now.but I never did. I gave it a good eight months before I looked at anything my ex was doing online. I still do not look up my ex'a online activity. 

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Happiness is easy - Once you delete the toxic people

Happiness is actually quite simple.

Delete the toxic people in your life.. You know who they are. 
They are the people who constantly demand more from you. What you have given them is never enough. They always want more. The demands are unrealistic and ridiculous. 
You find yourself exhausted and tired. You have no energy physically and mentally. Just getting a simple text message from them, stresses you out.

These toxic people truly do not care about your well being. They don't care if their demands are causing you to feel sick. It feels like they are trying to make you drop dead with their constant ridiculous demands. 

These people use to guilt to manipulate you to do what they want. They are experts at using others to hurt you, and hurt everyone else they know. 

You are not their only victim
They do this to everyone that is in their life, ex- partners, siblings, parents, children. These people have FEW close friends because of their selfishness and toxicity. You will find anyone who is their “close” friend usually reside out of state. That is the only way to keep a friendship with a toxic person. 

Toxic people TAKE TAKE TAKE. 
They never GIVE anything back. 
A relationship with a toxic person is so draining because you are the only one giving and working to make the relationship work. 

Toxic people DO NOT care about the people they hurt when they CHEAT, LIE, and ABUSE. If children are involved, they do not think about how their actions will affect the children. You can guarantee that after you have divorced, they will use the children as a way to hurt, control, and manipulate you. 
They are the first to say – “do you care about your children, do you know what you are doing to them?”   
They want to beat it into your head that you are a bad parent, if you say no to their demands. It doesn't matter how much you actually do, they never mention that. They just beat you down when you say NO to one of their many outrageous demands. Painting you out to be a horrible parent that doesn't give a crap about your children. 
They will tell you that you are a cruel person that doesn't care about your kids. All because you said No to them. This is typical narcissistic/ sociopathic behavior and traits. 

THERE IS NO RATIONALITY BEHIND THE THINGS THESE PEOPLE SAY. The more you can ignore them, block them from your phone, never speak to them, the happier your life will become. They NEVER change. 
If they are not tormenting you, I will bet they are tormenting someone else.