Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Marrying a psychopath, and how they portray you as the unstable perpetrator.

Sociopath, narcissist, psychopath... Whatever you want to call one. They have one similar quality..

They have NO remorse. 

They are capable of causing horrific pain and suffering. (mentally and physically)  They simply could care less about the damage they cause. When normal people cause pain others pain, it is usually under the circumstance of being hurt, afraid or simply not having the tools to handle confrontation and pain appropriately. The difference in normal and psychopathic is; Normal individuals feel remorse for what they have done to hurt a person. The guilt will affect them so much, they have a hard time living a happy life. Psychopaths are able to keep thriving, the pain they know they have caused someone, doesn't bother them. They probably won't ever think about it again, unless the person they caused the pain to, expresses that they are hurt. This doesn't evoke guilt in the psychopath. Instead it evokes ANGER, irritation, and then the psychopath continues to cause more hurt, and damage.
Psychopaths intentionally hurt others, without ever feeling any guilt. 

In fact, “guilt” is a foreign emotion to the psychopath. They do not know what guilt feels like because they have never felt it. Yet ‘guilt’ is used often by the psychopath to manipulate others
They are often able to get people to do what they want, by making the person feel guilty. 

From my own observations, guilt is one of the psychopaths favorite tools to use against an empathic, caring person. Especially when it comes to children. Having children with a person with psychopathic tendencies is a living hell. It is almost impossible to ever live a happy life when you share children with a psychopath. They will never leave you alone, they will use the children to manipulate and use you.  The psychopath pretends to be a caring parent who Loves their children, but the truth is, the psychopath is not capable of Love. They are only capable of Hate. And unfortunately the psychopath HATES their EX more than they LOVE their children. 
Even when the children are of adult age, the psychopath will still find a reason to torment you. 

People who marry psychopaths, do not marry them knowing they are psychopathic. They were lied to and manipulated to believe the person was genuine and caring. But the person soon learns that person they married is not a good person. Some people will live in deniall, because accepting that you have married a monster is a hard pill to swallow. The marriage never last, but the abuse and trauma from the marriage does.. 
The psychopath becomes bored with their spouse/victim, because they have nothing more to offer the psychopath. So the psychopath simply moves on to their next victim, of course not before slandering, spreading lies, and accusing the victim of horrific acts against them. They do this to protect themselves against what the victim may say about the relationship. By bashing the victim first (before the relationship is even over) the psychopath is making sure their 'story' is heard before the victims. 
This makes the victims story look false. 

After all the psychopath has already warned others that their soon to be ex, would probably try to accuse them of abuse or cheating, to simply get revenge because they didn't want to be in a relationship with such a unstable person who has deep mental problems. 

The sociopathic grin - Smiling or Baring Teeth

This quote is talking about a sociopath.
And it is so true! 

Sociopaths smile so nicely to everyone, and look so friendly. Little do most know that they are actually planning on destroying someone.
The person they will always target is the caring, sympathic, loving and most genuine person. 

After all why  would a sociopath target someone like themselves? With someone with the same intentions that they have? When it's much easier for them to target a kind, trusting and giving individual. 
Sociopaths and narcissists have an unhealthy deep love for themselves and their own reflection in the mirror. 
Of course you will only see the hatred they have for you after the honeymoon phase is over of course.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

There is Life After the Narcissist/sociopath

We all go into a relationship with a narcissist/sociopath without knowing the trauma, pain, hurt, betrayal we will go through for this unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship. 
We become addicted  to the narcissistic sociopath, this explains why we find it so hard to maintain No Contact  and why we have such a hard time leaving and moving on with our life, or moving on to healthy relationships. Because after its over we may feel one excites us in quite the same way or with the same intensity as our toxic partner. 

We are not aware that we have become the suffering and the suffering becomes us.

We forget what normalcy feels like.

This is what the sociopath/narcissist does to us, they play so many mind games, that we forget what a healthy relationship feels like, the dysfunction becomes our new normal. We even question our own sanity, and our own true self. The narcissist is so toxic, they make us feel that it is us that attracts toxic people into our lives. We feel we are doomed, which in turn becomes everyday anxiety, that is crippling to our emotional and mental health. 

The truth is that, we are not doomed. We may have become addicted to the chaos, because that is what the narcissist has shown us. The narcissist will always worm their way back into our good graces and life, and  as soon as we feel stable, and believe that maybe this time things will be different, the narcissist disappears and causes us hurt once again.  We feel rejected once again by this toxic person. 
More than anything in the world we wonder, why this person can't love us, what is wrong with us?
We want answers and need validation. As we get to our lowest, the narcissist enters our life again, and we take him/her back because the pain and depression was so real, we will do anything to feel even the slightest bit better, it is these painful feelings that the narcissist counts on, to re-enter our life, only to repeat the same vicious cycle again. 
This is how we become addicted to the narcissist. They prey on our weakness, exploit our humanity, and they do it so well, we become blind to the dysfunction, the dysfunction becomes a part of our life. The dysfunction becomes normal to us. 
As sad as it all is, usually it takes the narcissist finding a new person to exploit and use, for the toxic, soul-devouring relationship to end. The truth is the narcissist becomes bored with us. They know they can always come back and we will be there. So they discard us like trash. Leaving us broken, lost, and emotionally scarred.

We feel all we want is closure from them. The narcissist will never give us closure. They will tell their 'new' victim that we are crazy and emotionally unstable, they spread untrue rumors about us. They discredit us to anyone who will listen. 
We feel defeated and utterly hopeless...

It becomes impossible for us to move forward. We become angry and withdrawn. It's hard to even tell friends about our pain, because we don't want to hear "I told you so". Because every time we had taken the narcissist back, our friends and family didn't support our decision. They were right, and now being in pain after the narcissist final blow to us, hearing "I told you so" is just to painful.

And we just cannot take feeling anymore pain than we already in. 

So it is relieving when we find support in other places. When we read stories similar to our own, by other victims of a narcissist/sociopath. It is these supportive places that some of us find strength to begin to heal.

Once we start the healing process, it becomes easier to began to share our story. We don't feel so much shame about what happened to us. It becomes very clear that we were not betrayed by a normal human being, but we were betrayed by a personality disordered individual, with no moral compass, and unable to feel empathy for others. Knowing this helps us to realize we are not sick, or doomed.
What happened was not our fault, we were just another convenient victim of a very sick and twisted individual.
Knowing this helps us to begin to move forward and live life again with gratitude and a new appreciation for life.