Saturday, November 8, 2014
There is No closure with a sociopath
I have said this a million times and I may say it a million more but Sociopaths constantly make life hell for the people closest to them. Usually that is their spouse, children, siblings and parents and other family.
Since being targeted by a spciopath, my life has changed in so many ways. I have gone through so many emotional transformations, and spiritual transformation.
When looking for answers about ‘how to move on’ and ‘how to find my real self’ after I felt the sociopath had stolen my real self.
I was desperate to find the person I was before I met the sociopath. This is when I became emotionally “stuck”. I so was desperate to heal and to move on, but I couldn't, because I still believed that I needed closure from the sociopath.
I was “stuck” and I felt that the only way to get “unstuck” was to understand the sociopath. I thought that if I could understand why this person did the horrible things to me, and to others, then I would be able to finally move on with my life and put it all behind me. I wanted them to at least accept responsibility for what they did.... I soon figured out that “accepting responsibility” is something that a sociopath will never do.
In an attempt to understand the sociopath, I was keeping myself ‘stuck’. I was spending my time reading self help books, looking for answers on the Internet. I did find a lot of support, and found many people were suffering just like I was. Some of them didn't even realize that they were the victim of a sociopath. They were suffering because, like me they wanted answers. They wanted to understand. They wanted so badly to move on, but like me they were STUCK.
This was when I realized and begin to accept that I was never going to get the answers I was looking for. The reality was, I was looking that the sociopath will never give you closure. The reason is because they feel if you are still suffering and depressed, they are still controlling you.
They do not care. They are so evil, that they know you want closure, and that is one reason they will never give it to you. Even though they caused your pain by cheating and abusing you, they do NOT care. They want to will remain in control of you, if you are unable to move on with your life because of them that makes them feel as if they “WON”.
It was at this moment I had that “Ah ha” moment. I had been wasting all my time looking for something that I would never find. I had wasted enough of my life (the years the sociopath had taken) and I was still wasting my life. Every minute spent thinking about the sociopath, trying to understand why they did what they did to me, was just wasting my life more.
That moment I felt all kinds of emotions. Anger, frustration, depression, but I also felt a sense of awakening, and contentment. A contentment that I would never understand evil, and that I was free to move on and live again. I am OKAY with never understanding evil.