The “charismatic” Abusers

Sociopaths are usually said to be charismatic. 

Unfortunately their charisma is only a facade. While others who do not know them well may see them as charismatic and even a respected leader. But the victim of the sociopath would describe them as anything but...

Because the abuser in this type of situation is “charismatic” and well-loved (by strangers), they are  usually dynamic speakers and are some of the greatest storytellers (Liars). They will present themselves who do not really know them, how they are a person who loves to help people. They are seeking to be seen as a “trustworthy” person. This is how they win others over, and will usually manipulate them into doing their dirty work. 

They also put this elaborate and ridiculous show on to gain the trust of others. So if any of their victims speaks the truth about them, then the victim will not believed.  And the sociopath will go into to portray themselves as if they are the victim and they will go on to vilify the real victim. 

Sociopaths give charisma a bad name. I don't believe we should associate charisma with the sociopath. The charisma that the sociopath uses is only a ploy to manipulate others in order to get what they want from them, it is far from real or genuine. Nothing the sociopath does is real or genuine. Once the sociopath has their victim hooked, the charismatic act they once displayed disappears and the abuse begins. 

The sociopath shows the rest of the world what they want them to see. Only the victim(s) of the sociopath sees them for the ruthless, heartless person they are. 

The sociopaths family also endures much of their wrath as well. They torment siblings, and manipulate their parents into giving in to them. The more elderly the parent becomes, the more the sociopath will try to be the "caretaker." 

Not because they care for the well being of their elderly parent, but in order to gain control of their money, and belongings. 

They will only appear to others as if they are taking care of their elderly parent, but in reality they are not taking care of anyone but themselves.  Instead of getting groceries or medical care for them, they use the money for themselves. They will tell others how much time and money they have been spending on their elderly mother or father.. 

It's a very sad way for an elderly person to spend their final years. 

The sociopath simply doesn't care though.

This is not what I consider to be charismatic. It is cruel and remorseless. That is what the sociopath really is though. Cruel and remorseless. You cannot make them care. You cannot make them feel empathy, they will never be sorry for the pain they have caused. In fact the sociopath will try to blame the victim for any emotional trauma they have caused. They accuse their victim of provoking them to act in such a way, or to have said such things that have caused the victim pain. 

The sociopath can be described as many things, but Charismatic is NOT one of them... 

Words as Weapons

The sociopath is motivated by control. The desire to be in control of any environment they are in. The sociopath wants to take credit for “making stuff happen”. But they are rarely the one who has made “stuff” happen.

They do not want anybody to know how irresponsible, and untrustworthy they really are. They seek out caring, kind, empathetic individuals (as they seem them as “weak” and easy prey) to do for them, what they just don't feel like doing - and the sociopath is always going to take the credit for someone else's hard work. 

Sociopaths do not have any real friends. Since they are unable to make a genuine connection with anyone. Any “friends” they may have had, more than likely became tired of emotionally giving so much and never receiving anything back. People find out quickly that being friends with the sociopath is emotionally exhausting. 

Sociopaths are emotional vampires. 

They may not suck your blood out, but they will suck the energy and life right out of you with their constant conflict and drama, and outrageous demands.

They behave in a non-human like way, they are unable to feel what you feel. 

A person who is in a relationship with a sociopath will feel drained, weak, exhausted - emotionally and physically. The sociopath ALWAYS plays the role of the victim, this is how they attempt to control you. They know you will feel sorry for them, they know you will feel guilt. The main emotion that the sociopath does not have — Guilt, is the emotion they will use the most to manipulate and control you with.

Sociopaths are so excelled in lying and pretending to be someone they are not that you will not be able to “spot a sociopath” by just looking for all the tale tell signs. 

Even though sociopaths are known for their dramatic displays, in attempt to elicit pity from others (to manipulate) 

They are so void of empathy and real emotion, they are unable to feel when another person is emotionally hurting - and mostly this is because they really just don't care. 

Even if you tell the sociopath that you are upset, hurt, devastated, and sad. THEY DO NOT CARE!  When you tell a heartless sociopath that you are sad, DO NOT expect a kind response. They will go on the attack. They will turn your emotions on you, and will convince you that you feel the way you do because of YOU! Not them! They will not take any responsibilty for anything. *They can become irate and angry and even enraged at the fact that you had the nerve to share these feelings with them, possibly insinuating that they are responsible for them! 😡

The basic responses that we expect from human beings are just not there. This leave the victim questioning themselves. Most people have no idea that these kinds of manipulators live among us. So the victim is left wondering what they have done to cause this..

All sociopaths and psychopaths use words as weapons, of deception and dominance. 

Robert Hare, PhD., says that the personality of a sociopath (psychopath) is essentially set in stone, so to speak, by adulthood, and incredibly hard to change. 

You cannot change a person who is evil. They are what they are. You must take care of you. Remove the evil from your life 

There is No closure with a sociopath

I have said this a million times and I may say it a million more but Sociopaths constantly make life hell for the people closest to them. Usually that is their spouse, children, siblings and parents and other family. 

Since being targeted by a spciopath, my life has changed in so many ways. I have gone through so many emotional  transformations, and spiritual transformation.                      

When looking for answers about ‘how to move on’ and ‘how to find my real self’ after I felt the sociopath had stolen my real self. 

I was desperate to find the person I was before I met the sociopath. This is when I became emotionally “stuck”. I so was desperate to heal and to move on, but I couldn't, because I still believed that I needed closure from the sociopath. 

I was “stuck” and I felt that the only way to get “unstuck” was to understand the sociopath. I thought that if I could understand why this person did the horrible things to me, and to others, then I would be able to finally move on with my life and put it all behind me. I wanted them to at least accept responsibility for what they did.... I soon figured out that “accepting responsibility” is something that a sociopath will never do.

In an attempt to understand the sociopath, I was keeping myself ‘stuck’. I was spending my time reading self help books, looking for answers on the Internet. I did find a lot of support, and found many people were suffering just like I was. Some of them didn't even realize that they were the victim of a sociopath. They were suffering because, like me they wanted answers. They wanted to understand. They wanted so badly to move on, but like me they were STUCK. 

This was when I realized and begin to accept that I was never going to get the answers I was looking for. The reality was, I was looking that the sociopath will never give you closure. The reason is because they feel if you are still suffering and depressed, they are still controlling you. 

They do not care. They are so evil, that they know you want closure, and that is one reason they will never give it to you. Even though they caused your pain by cheating and abusing you, they do NOT care. They want to will remain in control of you, if you are unable to move on with your life because of them that makes them feel as if they “WON”. 

It was at this moment I had that “Ah ha” moment. I had been wasting all my time looking for something that I would never find.  I had wasted enough of my life (the years the sociopath had taken) and I was still wasting my life. Every minute spent thinking about the sociopath, trying to understand why they did what they did to me, was just wasting my life more. 

That moment I felt all kinds of emotions. Anger, frustration, depression, but I also felt a sense of awakening, and contentment. A contentment that I would never understand evil, and that I was free to move on and live again. I am OKAY with never understanding evil. 

Pathological People Use the Internet to do their Dirty Work

Anyone who uses the internet or has a social media account (facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Instagram, Blogger)  any kind of online network — then chances are you have encountered some type of cyberbully, Internet troll or stalker. 

Some of them confine themselves to one site and just like to stir people up. Others enjoy having their own site where they can torment their victims by using the victims full name, and then accusing the victim of disgusting things. They are using the Internet to destroy the victims reputation and ruin their life and take away their peace of mind. *A HUGE REDFLAG THAT YOU HAVE A SOCIOPATHIC CYBER TROLL ON YOUR HANDS IS WHEN THE TROLL USES the victims —first* last* middle* even maiden name.  

They enjoy the attention and reaction they get from others. They especially enjoy the emotional reaction they get from the target. Once the target responds emotionally - the troll turns everything around on the target. Making the target look “CRAZY” and verifies that everything they had accused the target of was true. These people are Trolls. They are sociopaths. They are dangerous. As disturbing and hurtful as they may be on the internet. When their attempts to harass and defame you online fails. They will not stop, they only look for more clever ways to stalk you online and they may even begin to stalk you in real life. 

These people are so dangerous.  Majority of these kind of people that engage in cyber stalking are sociopaths. They go way beyond the annoying activities of a troll.  They try to destroy peoples lives, and anyone who is close to the person (like children, spouses, friends, and family) Sociopaths derive satisfaction from the pain and suffering they inflict on others. Sociopaths are very disturbed and sick and people. They DO NOT CARE how about anyone, the more pain and suffering they cause, the more satisfied they are. 

There is no negotiating with a sociopath. They are pathological liars, filled with hate and deceit. They only know how to be hateful and vindictive. They live their entire life this way. They WILL NEVER CHANGE. Some people find this a harsh reality to accept. The sooner you can accept this, the safer you are and the happier you will be. 

I know this because I have been the victim of a sociopath. I was cyber stalked, I was falsely accused of horrible things. My reputation was being torn to shreds. My self esteem was being ripped apart. I was emotionally and physically exhausted from how much time the sociopath spent on writing about me, talking to anyone who would listen about me. Even saying nasty things about my young child. Sociopaths will hurt your children of they believe it will cause you (their real target pain and distress) - this is what makes them so dangerous. They have no qualms about hurting children, even killing a pet if they think it will cause you devastation and hurt. 

Some cyber stalkers have a personal vendetta against the individual they are stalking and bullying online. They set up dozens of fake profiles and account to harass the victim. The sociopath cyber stalker uses first and last name so that anytime the victims name is run on a search engine, the negative, defamatory, and damaging lies, are the first thing to show up. 

Anyone that is being cyber stalked should take comfort in the fact that the material a cyber stalker publishes seldom is of little interest to anyone. 

I have been a victim of a particularly nasty sociopath. I have been cyber stalked, bullied, harassed, slandered and scared for the past five years.

Things today are better. I survived. I like to consider myself a survivor more so than a victim of a pathological person. I know there are so many others who are going through an ordeal like i have. Feel free to email me if you are going through this kind of torment. It's important to talk with someone who understands and believes you. They can help you to handle the ordeal, and put the broken pieces back together.