Narcissist are broken and want to break you.

Narcissist are broken mentally and emotionally. You made them feel amazing for a certain period of time obviously that time is over since you are asking this question.

Narcissist  fear abandonment so deeply that they could leave you for someone else and be so hurt that you moved on and are dating again.

The reason to make you suffer is because they are the ones suffering worse then you ever could. 

 But this the only way they know how to function. 

So by punishing you they are desperate for a reaction good or bad makes no difference to them as it is attention and shows they still have control.

Ignoring them causes a HUGE blow to their ego and they HATE it! It EATS them ALIVE!

They will abuse the new supply or smear you to their friends and family to try and maintain control over their own emotions since YOU wont give them what they want.

Seeing you hurt give the narcissist power!

 Seeing you happy makes them ANGRY!

Healing from the Sociopaths Abuse

There is life after the sociopath/narcissist. In the beginning after the sociopath has left you, and they have moved on with the partner they had been cheating on you with.

You will feel shock, pain, hurt, devastation, denial, anger, and depression.

But it's so Important to remember that "this too shall pass..." 

Yes, you wasted a great deal of your life on this sorry excuse for a human being.. And if you have children with one, well that's another post... 

After the sociopath has moved on you must NOT CONTACT this person anymore. You will want too, because you are looking for closure. There is NO closure with the sociopath or the narcissist. They will not allow you to get any closure. They only allow you to feel pain.  

They KNOW the pain you are in (they have done this to others before you) 

Your pain is how they exercise their control on you without even being in a relationship with you. Do not let them control you anymore. 

As hard as it may seem, you must find the strength to interact with others. Talk to the genuine people in your life, and most importantly - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

When the person you loved has betrayed you, and emotionally and mentally abused you for years, sometimes it may seem that in order to keep the peace, you must keep quiet about the abuse. You become an unwilling victim of your abuser. The sociopath wants to destroy your self esteem, because it elevates their own self esteem. The sociopath has no boundaries with anyone, they do not respect anyone. 

They believe they can do whatever they want, to whoever they want. The way a sociopaths mind works is so distorted and twisted, that a normal human being cannot even begin to try to understand why the sociopath does what he/she does.

The sociopath lives their life without ever taking any responsibility for any of the lives they have destroyed. They bounce from one victim to the next. 

Some sociopaths actually convince themselves that they are the "victim". When the relationship is over (because of their cheating, lying and stealing) they take no responsibility for anything. The sociopath will start spreading lies about their victim as soon as the relationship is over (sometimes they begin their smear campaigns before it's over - to ensure that their victim has no credibility)

The sociopath will tell people that they finally left you because you were an abusive alcoholic. 

If you have children with the sociopath – expect the sociopath to tell everyone you both know (friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances)  that you are a "dead beat" parent. They will try to make you out to be a monster. There is no limits on what lies they tell. Even if the lies could land you in jail or to lose your job. 

THE SOCIOPATH DOES NOT CARE! I have seen lives destroyed by a females sociopaths lies about her children's father. I have seen a female sociopath say that her ex husband had slapped or hit their children.  Other examples that the female sociopath will say;

He abused me and our daughter, even breaking bones in my wrist; He gambled away all my money, I have gone broke trying to pay off all his debts and loan sharks ; He is a pathologic liar and a minimizer and his job is aware of this; He has left me in debt, and refuses to pay back owed taxes from when we were married.  

WHY DOES THE SOCIOPATH DO THIS TO SOMEONE THAT SHE HURT? AS IF THE MAN HASNT SUFFERED ENOUGH, BY THE CHEATING, LYING AND CRUELTY HE HAD ENDURED THE ENTIRE MARRIAGE..

Because the female sociopath is never happy until she breaks you down, crushes your soul, socially destroys you, isolates you from the world. 

THE REAL TRUTH BEHIND HER LIES AND CHARACTER ASSASSINATION —

The female sociopath will try to destroy her ex husband. When in fact the ex husband is a wonderful, kind and a caring father {and the only healthy relationship the children involved have with an adult} the ex husband has never hit or broken the bones of anyone, believe me - IF HE HAD, the sociopath would of called the police and had him arrested the second it happened (they love being able to be a victim)

The sociopath says that her ex gambled away all their money and now she has had to pay off debts - Hahaha! The female or male sociopath ALWAYS LEAVES THE VICTIM IN FINANCIAL RUINS, but it is usually the female who cries wolf, and plays the hero by claiming to have paid off the debt (so she can gain sympathy from others in hopes they will want to help her poor pitiful situation). 

When the sociopath accuses her ex husband or her other victims of things like pathological lying, and mental disorders - it is because she is projecting what is wrong with her into her ex or victim.

AND REGARDING financial ISSUES (oh this one I could go on forever about) The sociopath will NEVER pay off taxes (unless threatened by IRS jail time). I have personally
 seen in my profession where the sociopathic ex wife was writing blogs, tweeting, posting it on Facebook; how her ex (father of her children) owed so much money in taxes and it was affecting her credit, and she was unable to pay her mortgage on the home she won in divorce because of the tax situation that her ex husband was responsible for. Even saying that every child support check was seized by the IRS as soon as she deposited it into her account. ALL LIES !

In fact she was trying to save face because the home she "owned" was in foreclosure due to the fact that she just stopped paying the mortgage and the sheriff seized it and it was up for public auction. As far as the taxes are concerned. The ex husband had to hire a tax attorney to sort out the clusterf*ck of a mess that was accumulated while he was married to the sociopath. Knowing the sociopath would NOT pay her share of the taxes, the husband paid them all off (hers and his) because he knew she wouldn't pay them, and it would negatively affect his business. Of course his crazy ex-wife didn't work (although she claimed to) so it would affect her. She already had 20 judgements against her for other debts, loans that she never made good on. 

CrazyMakers.... Get out if you still can

Crazy makers... 

There are people in this world that are “crazy makers". 
These people will always set you up to lose.  
No matter how hard you try with these types you are sure to be damned if you do and damned if you don’t. 

They  put you in lose-lose situations. They have mastered manipulating others in random and various ways. These people will play mind games that are confusing, frustrating and down right cruel. 
There is no rhyme, reason, or emotional understanding of why these people do what they do. The best way to describe them is that they are crazy-makers. 

Crazy makers are abusers. Their behavior can not only be vindictive and malicious, but it can erode the other persons self esteem and self worth. This is their attempt to control you by means of confusing you, and making your life hard.

These "crazy makers" want you to feel insane, or worthless, it is how they are able to feel better about themselves. They are usually insecure people. People who feel good about themselves do not have to knock others down in order to feel superior. This is the only way they believe they can be loved, by causing the other person to feel as if no one else will love them or tolerate their "craziness" like the crazy maker. 

Being in a relationship with this disordered person feels like you’re caught in a whirlwind of chaos, with the life force being sucked from you as you are manipulated with nonstop crazy-making tactics. It's very mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting to stay in a relationship with these types. 

If you are in a relationship with someone like this, try to get out of the relationship. You do not want to marry or have children with this type of person. As they will make your life miserable and will use children to do so. Severe the connection while you still can. It will save you much heartache, money, and problems in the future. 

Never React but always Remember and Document

Being a victim of a sociopath, I have learned how destructive, cruel and damaging they can are to ones emotional, mental and physical health. Some may have noticed this blog NEVER uses any names to point out a specific sociopath. The blog authors name is not real. 
Why? Because I am not here to defame or character assassinate anyone. Not even a sociopath.

This blog is to help the victims of sociopaths, narcissist and other dark personalities better understand how these cruel individuals operate, so if one ever becomes targeted by a sociopath, one will know what they are up against. 

I learned the hard way... I reacted to every single false accusation being made up about me by the sociopath. Little did I know at the time, my reacting was what the sociopath wanted.
The sociopath relies on their victims emotions to bait them into their trap. Sociopaths do not have the emotions that genuine human beings have, such as guilt, shame, love, and hurt. 
They only feel anger, entitlement, hate, and revenge. 

The sociopath does covert things to the target, and makes it seem as if they are supported by others. The Internet is one of the sociopaths favorite new weapons of destruction. While the Internet is also used by amazing individuals to do good. It can also be used to hurt, destroy and defame innocent people. 
One way to know if one is being genuine or just attempting to destroy another person reputation is the use of names. Using a person first, last and even surname followed by hate accusation is a RED FLAG. 

When normal healthy minded people have a problem with a person, they maybe upset, but they don't set out to destroy their life and reputation. The sociopath will immediately begin to destroy a person with spreading embarrassing, harmful lies. They will make sure that when their targets name is googled or looked up via Internet, that the slander will appear on the first page. This harms one from employment and future employment. This makes the victim feel helpless, powerless and hated. That's the goal of the sociopath, to convince the target that they have people on their side, and are supported. When they usually are not. Any supporter who leave comments on the sociopath slander campaign, are usually left by the sociopaths other aliases. 

The best way to handle a sociopath who is determined to destroy you by spreading rumors to anyone who will listen is to NOT REACT. They are counting on you reacting emotionally. They will use your genuine against you. They now are able to say "look, I told you he/she was unstable". Although you are not unstable, you are human with human emotions that sociopath lacks. The sociopath will twist and manipulate your assumedly appropriate emotional reaction to make you look crazy, unstable and even dangerous. 

It is VERY DIFFICULT to NOT react to the awful things the sociopath is doing to you. But I am telling from personal  experience.  It is in your best to not react, but to document, document, document. Save everything. Because the sociopath will continue to do vicious things in order to get a reaction. They WILL eventually cross the line, and you will have everything you need to take legal action. It will show that you were harassed, stalked, slandered by the sociopathic person, and by not reacting they have nothing on you. 

Exposing a sociopath

It is difficult if not impossible to expose a sociopath for the lying, cheating, stealing, ruthless and soulless individual they really are. 

If you plan on exposing the sociopath it is important that you know what you are up against. They sociopath will not "go down" easily. You have to be the kind of person that can handle what the sociopath will do in retaliation to you. 

You MUST be strong, and confident and have a strong sense of self and high self esteem. Because the sociopath is going to try to rip you apart mentally. 

If you have been abused, and are still recovering from the abuse of a sociopathic individual then it is not advised that you try to expose them. You must focus on you, and your recovery. It is best that you just “cut them off” as best you can. Victims of sociopaths have been broken and are probably not equipped to seek revenge by exposing the sociopath. 

But if you have the strength, and you feel the need to expose a sociopath. Either to protect someone you love, a family member or someone that is in harms way. 

You must be able to really look at the person and see what they REALLY are. Which is a heartless, mean, evil, conscienceless, hateful, vindictive, and VENGEFUL. THEY HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT DESTROYING YOU, YOUR FAMILY, or YOUR CHILDREN. 

The sociopaths only fear is really being exposed for who they really are. Because once they are exposed, it would make it difficult for them to continue to con, lie and get others to do what they want. 

You must know what you are up against and know what you are dealing with. 

If you choose to expose the sociopath this will put you at the mercy of the Sociopath. Nothing can or will obstruct the will of the sociopath. I cannot stress this to you enough. 

Only The real and the full you will be able defeat the Sociopath - and still that is sometimes not enough...

The sociopath is a person who HATES you (and everyone else), and a true Sociopath will do everything they can not to reveal what they are really thinking and what their true intentions are. He or she knows that they will be a “dead agent”* once she/he is seen for how who and what they really are. The sociopath is living  inside his head. 

One of the most important things you must understand about the sociopath is that the 'real' achilles heel of the Sociopath – is that they do not know how to have “normal responses” in their internal world, their entire life is made up of mimicking what they have seen others do and how others acted toward a situation that required an emotional response. Therefore they do not actually know what a sane, correct response IS.

This means that unless they are TOLD what to say that would get you to think they have the right response, or unless they see it done somewhere:

THEY DO NOT HAVE THE EMOTIONAL CAPABILITIES TO ORIGINATE THE RIGHT MORAL RESPONSE. 

The “charismatic” Abusers

Sociopaths are usually said to be charismatic. 

Unfortunately their charisma is only a facade. While others who do not know them well may see them as charismatic and even a respected leader. But the victim of the sociopath would describe them as anything but...

Because the abuser in this type of situation is “charismatic” and well-loved (by strangers), they are  usually dynamic speakers and are some of the greatest storytellers (Liars). They will present themselves who do not really know them, how they are a person who loves to help people. They are seeking to be seen as a “trustworthy” person. This is how they win others over, and will usually manipulate them into doing their dirty work. 

They also put this elaborate and ridiculous show on to gain the trust of others. So if any of their victims speaks the truth about them, then the victim will not believed.  And the sociopath will go into to portray themselves as if they are the victim and they will go on to vilify the real victim. 

Sociopaths give charisma a bad name. I don't believe we should associate charisma with the sociopath. The charisma that the sociopath uses is only a ploy to manipulate others in order to get what they want from them, it is far from real or genuine. Nothing the sociopath does is real or genuine. Once the sociopath has their victim hooked, the charismatic act they once displayed disappears and the abuse begins. 

The sociopath shows the rest of the world what they want them to see. Only the victim(s) of the sociopath sees them for the ruthless, heartless person they are. 

The sociopaths family also endures much of their wrath as well. They torment siblings, and manipulate their parents into giving in to them. The more elderly the parent becomes, the more the sociopath will try to be the "caretaker." 

Not because they care for the well being of their elderly parent, but in order to gain control of their money, and belongings. 

They will only appear to others as if they are taking care of their elderly parent, but in reality they are not taking care of anyone but themselves.  Instead of getting groceries or medical care for them, they use the money for themselves. They will tell others how much time and money they have been spending on their elderly mother or father.. 

It's a very sad way for an elderly person to spend their final years. 

The sociopath simply doesn't care though.

This is not what I consider to be charismatic. It is cruel and remorseless. That is what the sociopath really is though. Cruel and remorseless. You cannot make them care. You cannot make them feel empathy, they will never be sorry for the pain they have caused. In fact the sociopath will try to blame the victim for any emotional trauma they have caused. They accuse their victim of provoking them to act in such a way, or to have said such things that have caused the victim pain. 

The sociopath can be described as many things, but Charismatic is NOT one of them... 

Covert Abuse and Emotional Manipulation

       

A sociopath wants to gain control over you. They will use deceptive and underhanded ways to change your thinking. Their victim doesn't realize that this is even happening, until it is too late. 

They sociopath says subtle things that are meant to erode your esteem and emotional well being. They will chip at you and your self worth until there is very little of it left. 

A sociopath sees themselves as superior and sees others as nothing now than an object to be used. Sociopaths have No Empathy, no guilt, no remorse, and no conscience. They use you for their entertainment purposes only. 

They become bored with you and start to hate you eventually, even when you have done nothing but try to please them. Their behavior is cruel, horrific, and can psychologically, mentally, and physically destroy you. 

A sociopath can spot your weakness, your strengths and your fears easily. They will use all of these against you to gain control over you. They will stop at nothing to get what they want out of you, even if it means hurting you. 

Next thing you realize is that your once loving relationship has turned into a demeaning, degrading relationship. Leaving you confused and diminishing your self respect, self worth, and self esteem. The sociopath wants you to feel like you are losing your mind. Their intention is to make you question reality. The victim finds him/herself blaming themself for the sociopath not loving them like they use to. The victim believes it is their fault their once loving relationship has turned cold. The sociopath wants you to feel this way. They relish in the fact that they have brought you down to a rock bottom level. The sociopath is evil. 

It's hard to imagine anyone treating someone like this ON PURPOSE. But that is exactly what the sociopath does. The sociopath wants to turn you into a crying and begging emotional wreck. The victim struggles with feelings of powerlessness, and deep knife stabbing pain. The victim loses all sense of their self worth, they sometimes may turn to drugs or alcohol. The victim is so damaged that they become depressed, and withdrawn. They start to isolate and lose the support of others they use to have. 

If you are the target of a malicious and vindictive sociopath, you must remember IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! The sociopaths plan from the beginning was to harm you emotionally. They enjoy seeing others beg and plead, and then they feel accomplished in the fact that they can deny the victim and walk away. 

This is emotional rape. A covert emotional manipulator methodically wears down their victim. At it's worse, victims lose all sense of self and their personal values. 

Sociopaths do not look like monsters. Most of them are someone that looks just like Suzie soccer mom, or dan the loving father who attends all his kids PTA meetings. These sociopaths are so dangerous because they blend end so well, that the only people who suffer are the sociopaths children and partner and other family members. They fly under the radar, committing small crimes like fraud, identity theft, slander and defamation, and if they are in a business where money can be laundered and stolen – you can bet the sociopath is doing these things. They are 100% stealing from their partner and family. They will take out credit cards and loans in their victims name. When caught they use excuses and other manipulations, such as gas- lighting. Saying to the victim “you knew I got this card, you knew about this loan, we talked about it, remember?”

The victim is then left confused and questioning their own sanity. 

Sociopaths have contempt for their victims. They have no remorse about any of the deceptive things they do to their partner. They cheat with other people, they lie, steal, and destroy their victim one piece at a time. 

When confronted for any of these behaviors the sociopath blames and will spin the story, to make you look crazy. 

Why does the sociopath do this to someone who loves them, and has continued to make efforts to save the marriage, to fix things, and to please them? It's because they have no love inside them. They have no good in them. They have an evil mentality that aims to destroy anyone or anything that they cross paths with. 

Sociopaths feels a sense of entitlement. They are not capable of having  a meaningful and honest relationship with anyone...

They will never be able to form healthy attachments to another person. Being that they are incaple of loving anyone or receiving love from anyone. Even if their victim loves them, they are unable to feel it. All they feel is hate and anger toward the person who tries to love them.

At their core, the sociopath is filled with rage, and mental issues. The sociopath  will attempt to project their own mental instability onto their partner or the person who confronts them. 

When you are in a relationship with a sociopath, you will come to realize that they are unreliable and irresponsible. Yet, the sociopath becomes enraged and vengeful if they believe you have not followed through on something you said you will do. Even if you were unable to do something due to illness or a death in your family. The sociopath doesn't care. They will never be there for you emotionally. They see you as emotionally weak, and usually when you are feeling more vulnerable and weak, the sociopath sees it as am opportunity to kick you while you are down.

This is a very abusive and vicious cycle that the sociopath always puts you in. Rarely sociopaths abuse you physically. It is all about controlling and abusing you psychologically and emotionally. But that is not to say that the sociopath will NOT become physically violent with you. They are capable of physical abuse. More so in men than women.. 

What is so "crazy making" about the sociopath is that they actually expect you  to show them gratitude for any menial task they have done. Even after neglecting you for months and emotionally abusing you. If they do the smallest thing, they expect you to kiss their feet and adore them for that. 

When you know something in your relationship is just not quite “right”. And you suspect that your partner is a sociopath. The best thing you can do for yourself, your family, and your children, is to get out of that abusive situation. No matter what. If you are married and share children with the sociopath, you can expect life long drama and conflict. They will resent you for leaving them! How dare you! And even after moving on, and remarrying, they will always use your children to torment you. 

Unless you have experienced this kind of abuse, it's hard to understand the damage that is has taken on the victim. If the victim finally realizes that their quality of life has been suffering and that they have been living in fear and misery and decides to leave the sociopath. They realize the harm that the sociopath will cause them. They have to see that leaving the sociopath is more beneficial than staying with them to endure abuse the rest of their life.