They contribute everything in their life that has not gone the way they wanted it to, to be the fault of someone else. These people NEVER take responsibility for anything! They go through life blaming, accusing, hurting, refusing, arguing, hating, cheating, and lying. Their life seems to be one mishap after the next, yet they never question their own self, for these repetitive patterns of misery. They are hard wired to switch the blame onto others. They will cause the people involved with them to doubt their self and their sanity. Do not feel gullible or stupid if you have fallen prey to this kind of twisted manipulation. Normal and stable people are always the best victims for these types of people, because we are HUMAN, and have REAL HUMAN EMOTIONS. The important thing is that you realize that you are not to blame for the behaviors, actions, and insecurities of another person.
You are only responsible for your own behaviors.
What I have seen in sociopaths and narcissist, is that they are 100% and fully aware of what they are doing to people.
They are confident in their manipulation tactics. They see others as objects, not as human beings made up of flesh and blood with feelings and emotions. They don't feed anything for the pain they cause. In fact, they intentionally cause the pain, and enjoy keeping others on their toes, and walking on egg shells. They like to play games with their victims . They get some kind of sick pleasure of causing emotional turmoil, and devastation.
The Passive Aggressive Disordered individual on the other hand may have a conscience. In my own personal opinion, which is based on what I have seen and had the misfortune of interacting with. Is that the passive aggressive disordered person is an extremely insecure, broken person.
They do what they do because they live in fear of everything and everyone.
They are scared to be hurt, left, abandoned, alone, rejected, etc...
Passive aggressives are some of the most frustrating people to deal with because you never know what is genuine and what is not. So you find yourself questioning everything they say and do.
You do not know what their true agenda is. It really sucks to have to wonder if the only reason they are doing something nice things for you, is so they can throw it in your face later...
It is exhausting! Dealing with a passive aggressive spouse can make one feel insane, angry, and hopeless. It's hard to leave one because you actually probably do feel sorry for them deep down, because you know they are NOT soulless and evil, like the sociopath. You see that there is pain behind their eyes. You know that you cannot heal that pain, and you know that they will not ever talk about the pain that is causing them to be this way. They deny being passive aggressive. It seems they blame YOU for everything wrong with their life. You know that you are not to blame, and you wonder if they really feel you are. Have they forgotten the others in their past that they blamed before you...? The passive aggressive is always going to flip anything you confront them with, deny and blame you. They are masters at making everything your fault.
After so long, you stop confronting, you stop believing, you stop trying and you stop caring...
It has become pointless to even try to help this person. Since they really feel they are the victim of your anger and demands.
Unlike the sociopath and narcissist, the passive aggressive really feels like the victim. Yes, they do play the victim well, and you know it is all crap. But in their mind, they actually believe they are genuine victims of anyone closely involved with them. They yearn to be loved, yet they alienate those who love(d) them with their inability to take responsibility for ANYTHING.
Passive aggressive people simply want you to feel sorry for them, because they actually really feel sorry for themselves, and they need someone to make them feel valid in their feelings. If you do not sympathize with the passive aggressive, they just feel more victimized and become more shut down.
If you don't sympathize with the sociopath, they throw you out like garbage and will find someone else who will. They quickly move on to their next victim who will buy their lies and bullsh*t.
The sociopath, plays the part of the victim but remains aware that being the Victim will be beneficial to them in getting their way.
The sociopath knows that good people will feel pity for them, and they can use that guilt to manipulate. The sociopath is depending on others ability to feel guilt. Since the sociopath him/herself lacks that ability to feel guilt. Due to the fact that they are without a conscience or soul.