Oh the passive aggressive.... 😒

Narcissist, sociopaths, and the rest of the character disturbed individuals walking amongst us, are all emotional manipulators. What I have noticed in my years of dealing with these people, is that they all play the victim. Some may truly believe that they really are a victim of everyone else. 
They contribute everything in their life that has not gone the way they wanted it to, to be the fault of someone else. These people NEVER take responsibility for anything! They go through life blaming, accusing, hurting, refusing, arguing, hating, cheating, and lying. Their life seems to be one mishap after the next, yet they never question their own self, for these repetitive patterns of misery. They are hard wired to switch the blame onto others. They will cause the people involved with them to doubt their self and their sanity. Do not feel gullible or stupid if you have fallen prey to this kind of twisted manipulation. Normal and stable people are always the best victims for these types of people, because we are HUMAN, and have REAL HUMAN EMOTIONS. The important thing is that you realize that you are not to blame for the behaviors, actions, and insecurities of another person.
You are only responsible for your own behaviors. 

What I have seen in sociopaths and narcissist, is that they are 100% and fully aware of what they are doing to people. 
They are confident in their manipulation tactics. They see others as objects, not as human beings made up of flesh and blood with feelings and emotions. They don't feed anything for the pain they cause. In fact, they intentionally cause the pain, and enjoy keeping others on their toes, and walking on egg shells. They like to play games with their victims . They get some kind of sick pleasure of causing emotional turmoil, and devastation.

The Passive Aggressive Disordered individual on the other hand may have a conscience. In my own personal opinion, which is based on what I have seen and had the misfortune of interacting with. Is that the passive aggressive disordered person is an extremely insecure, broken person.
They do what they do because they live in fear of everything and everyone.
They are scared to be hurt, left, abandoned, alone, rejected, etc...
Passive aggressives are some of the most frustrating people to deal with because you never know what is genuine and what is not. So you find yourself questioning everything they say and do.
You  do not know what their true agenda is. It really sucks to have to wonder if the only reason they are doing something nice things for you, is so they can throw it in your face later...

It is exhausting! Dealing with a passive aggressive spouse can make one feel insane, angry, and hopeless. It's hard to leave one because you actually probably do feel sorry for them deep down, because you know they are NOT soulless and evil, like the sociopath. You see that there is pain behind their eyes. You know that you cannot heal that pain, and you know that they will not ever talk about the pain that is causing them to be this way. They deny being passive aggressive. It seems they blame YOU for everything wrong with their life. You know that you are not to blame, and you wonder if they really feel you are. Have they forgotten the others in their past that they blamed before you...? The passive aggressive is always going to flip anything you confront them with, deny and blame you. They are masters at making everything your fault. 
After so long, you stop confronting, you stop believing, you stop trying and you stop caring...  
It has become pointless to even try to help this person. Since they really feel they are the victim of your anger and demands.

Unlike the sociopath and narcissist, the passive aggressive really feels like the victim. Yes,  they do play the victim well, and you know it is all crap. But in their mind, they actually believe they are genuine victims of anyone closely involved with them. They yearn to be loved, yet they alienate those who love(d) them with their inability to take responsibility for ANYTHING.

Passive aggressive people simply want you to feel sorry for them, because they actually really feel sorry for themselves, and they need someone to make them feel valid in their feelings. If you do not sympathize with the passive aggressive, they just feel more victimized and become more shut down.
If you don't sympathize with the sociopath, they throw you out like garbage and will find someone else who will. They quickly move on to their next victim who will buy their lies and bullsh*t.

The sociopath, plays the part of the victim but remains aware that being the Victim will be beneficial to them in getting their way. 
The sociopath knows that good people will feel pity for them, and they can use that guilt to manipulate. The sociopath is depending on others ability to feel guilt. Since the sociopath him/herself lacks that ability to feel guilt. Due to the fact that they are without a conscience or soul. 

Covert Abuse and Emotional Manipulation

       

A sociopath wants to gain control over you. They will use deceptive and underhanded ways to change your thinking. Their victim doesn't realize that this is even happening, until it is too late. 

They sociopath says subtle things that are meant to erode your esteem and emotional well being. They will chip at you and your self worth until there is very little of it left. 

A sociopath sees themselves as superior and sees others as nothing now than an object to be used. Sociopaths have No Empathy, no guilt, no remorse, and no conscience. They use you for their entertainment purposes only. 

They become bored with you and start to hate you eventually, even when you have done nothing but try to please them. Their behavior is cruel, horrific, and can psychologically, mentally, and physically destroy you. 

A sociopath can spot your weakness, your strengths and your fears easily. They will use all of these against you to gain control over you. They will stop at nothing to get what they want out of you, even if it means hurting you. 

Next thing you realize is that your once loving relationship has turned into a demeaning, degrading relationship. Leaving you confused and diminishing your self respect, self worth, and self esteem. The sociopath wants you to feel like you are losing your mind. Their intention is to make you question reality. The victim finds him/herself blaming themself for the sociopath not loving them like they use to. The victim believes it is their fault their once loving relationship has turned cold. The sociopath wants you to feel this way. They relish in the fact that they have brought you down to a rock bottom level. The sociopath is evil. 

It's hard to imagine anyone treating someone like this ON PURPOSE. But that is exactly what the sociopath does. The sociopath wants to turn you into a crying and begging emotional wreck. The victim struggles with feelings of powerlessness, and deep knife stabbing pain. The victim loses all sense of their self worth, they sometimes may turn to drugs or alcohol. The victim is so damaged that they become depressed, and withdrawn. They start to isolate and lose the support of others they use to have. 

If you are the target of a malicious and vindictive sociopath, you must remember IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! The sociopaths plan from the beginning was to harm you emotionally. They enjoy seeing others beg and plead, and then they feel accomplished in the fact that they can deny the victim and walk away. 

This is emotional rape. A covert emotional manipulator methodically wears down their victim. At it's worse, victims lose all sense of self and their personal values. 

Sociopaths do not look like monsters. Most of them are someone that looks just like Suzie soccer mom, or dan the loving father who attends all his kids PTA meetings. These sociopaths are so dangerous because they blend end so well, that the only people who suffer are the sociopaths children and partner and other family members. They fly under the radar, committing small crimes like fraud, identity theft, slander and defamation, and if they are in a business where money can be laundered and stolen – you can bet the sociopath is doing these things. They are 100% stealing from their partner and family. They will take out credit cards and loans in their victims name. When caught they use excuses and other manipulations, such as gas- lighting. Saying to the victim “you knew I got this card, you knew about this loan, we talked about it, remember?”

The victim is then left confused and questioning their own sanity. 

Sociopaths have contempt for their victims. They have no remorse about any of the deceptive things they do to their partner. They cheat with other people, they lie, steal, and destroy their victim one piece at a time. 

When confronted for any of these behaviors the sociopath blames and will spin the story, to make you look crazy. 

Why does the sociopath do this to someone who loves them, and has continued to make efforts to save the marriage, to fix things, and to please them? It's because they have no love inside them. They have no good in them. They have an evil mentality that aims to destroy anyone or anything that they cross paths with. 

Sociopaths feels a sense of entitlement. They are not capable of having  a meaningful and honest relationship with anyone...

They will never be able to form healthy attachments to another person. Being that they are incaple of loving anyone or receiving love from anyone. Even if their victim loves them, they are unable to feel it. All they feel is hate and anger toward the person who tries to love them.

At their core, the sociopath is filled with rage, and mental issues. The sociopath  will attempt to project their own mental instability onto their partner or the person who confronts them. 

When you are in a relationship with a sociopath, you will come to realize that they are unreliable and irresponsible. Yet, the sociopath becomes enraged and vengeful if they believe you have not followed through on something you said you will do. Even if you were unable to do something due to illness or a death in your family. The sociopath doesn't care. They will never be there for you emotionally. They see you as emotionally weak, and usually when you are feeling more vulnerable and weak, the sociopath sees it as am opportunity to kick you while you are down.

This is a very abusive and vicious cycle that the sociopath always puts you in. Rarely sociopaths abuse you physically. It is all about controlling and abusing you psychologically and emotionally. But that is not to say that the sociopath will NOT become physically violent with you. They are capable of physical abuse. More so in men than women.. 

What is so "crazy making" about the sociopath is that they actually expect you  to show them gratitude for any menial task they have done. Even after neglecting you for months and emotionally abusing you. If they do the smallest thing, they expect you to kiss their feet and adore them for that. 

When you know something in your relationship is just not quite “right”. And you suspect that your partner is a sociopath. The best thing you can do for yourself, your family, and your children, is to get out of that abusive situation. No matter what. If you are married and share children with the sociopath, you can expect life long drama and conflict. They will resent you for leaving them! How dare you! And even after moving on, and remarrying, they will always use your children to torment you. 

Unless you have experienced this kind of abuse, it's hard to understand the damage that is has taken on the victim. If the victim finally realizes that their quality of life has been suffering and that they have been living in fear and misery and decides to leave the sociopath. They realize the harm that the sociopath will cause them. They have to see that leaving the sociopath is more beneficial than staying with them to endure abuse the rest of their life.