The Villain and The Victim

This is an old draft I found. Decided to publish it. Hope it gives insight to those who are dealing with a narcissist or a sociopath. 

Psychopaths are able to present themselves as charismatic and charming. They know how to pour on the charm to hook their victims emotionally and gain their trust. Psychopaths are very calculating, cold hearted, and lack empathy. The psychopath is an excelled liar. They need to convince others that they are caring and kind-hearted, by doing this, it allows them to torture (usually emotionally and mentally) their victims, and then vilify the victim when the victim speaks out. The sociopath will claim to be the “victim”. Many may believe that the sociopath is victim because the sociopath has manipulated people to believe they are a good person, and convinced those people that the real victim is a liar, and bad person. This is how they will try to destroy their target, by convincing acquaintances that they are a “good” person, all while spreading lies about the Real victim. 

The psychopath resorts to outrageous lies, and false accusations. In reality, these people are opposite of everything they claim. One thing in particular that I noticed with psychopaths, is that whatever they are accusing YOU of — they are guilty of it. 

For example – the psychopath will have many social media accounts, they look for things that the general normal  people are upset over, like bullying, or cyber stalking. They will accuse their victim of these things, because they know that these certain subjects are sensitive to most people.  By doing this they hurt (even though they don't care) not only their target but real victims of bullying. With sociopaths claiming victim-hood, they take credibility away from the real victims of bullying, cyber bullying, and harassment. 

It is somewhat like crying wolf. Only in this case the psychopath is actually the wolf, but is dressed up as a sheep.

Healing from the Sociopaths Abuse

There is life after the sociopath/narcissist. In the beginning after the sociopath has left you, and they have moved on with the partner they had been cheating on you with.

You will feel shock, pain, hurt, devastation, denial, anger, and depression.

But it's so Important to remember that "this too shall pass..." 

Yes, you wasted a great deal of your life on this sorry excuse for a human being.. And if you have children with one, well that's another post... 

After the sociopath has moved on you must NOT CONTACT this person anymore. You will want too, because you are looking for closure. There is NO closure with the sociopath or the narcissist. They will not allow you to get any closure. They only allow you to feel pain.  

They KNOW the pain you are in (they have done this to others before you) 

Your pain is how they exercise their control on you without even being in a relationship with you. Do not let them control you anymore. 

As hard as it may seem, you must find the strength to interact with others. Talk to the genuine people in your life, and most importantly - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

When the person you loved has betrayed you, and emotionally and mentally abused you for years, sometimes it may seem that in order to keep the peace, you must keep quiet about the abuse. You become an unwilling victim of your abuser. The sociopath wants to destroy your self esteem, because it elevates their own self esteem. The sociopath has no boundaries with anyone, they do not respect anyone. 

They believe they can do whatever they want, to whoever they want. The way a sociopaths mind works is so distorted and twisted, that a normal human being cannot even begin to try to understand why the sociopath does what he/she does.

The sociopath lives their life without ever taking any responsibility for any of the lives they have destroyed. They bounce from one victim to the next. 

Some sociopaths actually convince themselves that they are the "victim". When the relationship is over (because of their cheating, lying and stealing) they take no responsibility for anything. The sociopath will start spreading lies about their victim as soon as the relationship is over (sometimes they begin their smear campaigns before it's over - to ensure that their victim has no credibility)

The sociopath will tell people that they finally left you because you were an abusive alcoholic. 

If you have children with the sociopath – expect the sociopath to tell everyone you both know (friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances)  that you are a "dead beat" parent. They will try to make you out to be a monster. There is no limits on what lies they tell. Even if the lies could land you in jail or to lose your job. 

THE SOCIOPATH DOES NOT CARE! I have seen lives destroyed by a females sociopaths lies about her children's father. I have seen a female sociopath say that her ex husband had slapped or hit their children.  Other examples that the female sociopath will say;

He abused me and our daughter, even breaking bones in my wrist; He gambled away all my money, I have gone broke trying to pay off all his debts and loan sharks ; He is a pathologic liar and a minimizer and his job is aware of this; He has left me in debt, and refuses to pay back owed taxes from when we were married.  

WHY DOES THE SOCIOPATH DO THIS TO SOMEONE THAT SHE HURT? AS IF THE MAN HASNT SUFFERED ENOUGH, BY THE CHEATING, LYING AND CRUELTY HE HAD ENDURED THE ENTIRE MARRIAGE..

Because the female sociopath is never happy until she breaks you down, crushes your soul, socially destroys you, isolates you from the world. 

THE REAL TRUTH BEHIND HER LIES AND CHARACTER ASSASSINATION —

The female sociopath will try to destroy her ex husband. When in fact the ex husband is a wonderful, kind and a caring father {and the only healthy relationship the children involved have with an adult} the ex husband has never hit or broken the bones of anyone, believe me - IF HE HAD, the sociopath would of called the police and had him arrested the second it happened (they love being able to be a victim)

The sociopath says that her ex gambled away all their money and now she has had to pay off debts - Hahaha! The female or male sociopath ALWAYS LEAVES THE VICTIM IN FINANCIAL RUINS, but it is usually the female who cries wolf, and plays the hero by claiming to have paid off the debt (so she can gain sympathy from others in hopes they will want to help her poor pitiful situation). 

When the sociopath accuses her ex husband or her other victims of things like pathological lying, and mental disorders - it is because she is projecting what is wrong with her into her ex or victim.

AND REGARDING financial ISSUES (oh this one I could go on forever about) The sociopath will NEVER pay off taxes (unless threatened by IRS jail time). I have personally
 seen in my profession where the sociopathic ex wife was writing blogs, tweeting, posting it on Facebook; how her ex (father of her children) owed so much money in taxes and it was affecting her credit, and she was unable to pay her mortgage on the home she won in divorce because of the tax situation that her ex husband was responsible for. Even saying that every child support check was seized by the IRS as soon as she deposited it into her account. ALL LIES !

In fact she was trying to save face because the home she "owned" was in foreclosure due to the fact that she just stopped paying the mortgage and the sheriff seized it and it was up for public auction. As far as the taxes are concerned. The ex husband had to hire a tax attorney to sort out the clusterf*ck of a mess that was accumulated while he was married to the sociopath. Knowing the sociopath would NOT pay her share of the taxes, the husband paid them all off (hers and his) because he knew she wouldn't pay them, and it would negatively affect his business. Of course his crazy ex-wife didn't work (although she claimed to) so it would affect her. She already had 20 judgements against her for other debts, loans that she never made good on.