Saturday, August 9, 2014
The Borderline Personality Disordered Person
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)...
Hmm... This one is one of the most confusing and conflicting personality disorders for me. Professionals categorize BPD the same as Cluster B's.
Borderline personality disorder, psychopathy, sociopathy, narcissism, and histrionic are all in the same category.
What I see with a disordered person who has a personality disorder such as psychopathy, sociopathy and narcissism is lack of any moral compass, they cheat consistently on the partners, pathological liars and absolutely no conscious whatsoever. They all seem to be criminals that fly under the radar, rarely getting caught for their petty but damaging crimes. Such as fraud, identity theft, altering legal documents, character assassination, impersonating someone to damage them psychologically, projection, the failure to ever accept any responsibilty for anything.
I have never been in a personal relationship with a borderline. I am not sure if I have had an friends with the disorder, or at least if I did their behavior did not affect me. As it would someone who is in a relationship with one.
I have done a lot of research on BPD. It seems everyone has a different view on the disorder. The people who seem to be suffering from borderline personality disorder, who have recovered (which as many of us know sociopaths and narcissist never recover or change)
The fact that these individuals are admitting that they have BPD, and are trying to help others to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It makes me think that persons with BPD are capable of feeling compassion, remorse and that they do have a conscious. Unlike the psychpaths and narcissist.
BPD persons seem to be internally suffering. They don't seem to be be hard wired to committ crimes and lie to others. They seem to suffer from extremely low self esteem, and fear of abandonment. Which causes BPD's to act out impulsively, usually only hurting themselves. Of course when someone you love is hurting themself, or self destructing, it hurts you as well.
BPD's seem to not be able to ‘cope’ with anything life throws at them. Such as bad news, even the slightest of bad news. They feel easily rejected, and are so afraid of rejection. They rarely step out of their ‘safe’ zones. BPD's have frequent outburst, when they feel they are being treated unfairly, rather they actually are or they are just suffering from hypervigilance. When someone with BPD doesn't get the response they may have expected, they become scared or angry. They may use threats, violence, intimidation, and destruction. The person who their outburst is aimed at us usually their partner. When their partner tries to ignore them, in hopes they will calm down, the person with BPD will only become more angry, and their behavior becomes worse. It may feel impossible to calm the BPD person down. In the state of mind the BPD is in at the time. It can be frustrating to both the non-BPD and the BPD.
The non-BPD feels that the person suffering may hurt themselves if they leave (which most will, by cutting themselves or acting impulsively). But the person with the disorder must understand that throwing a temper tantrum will not get them what they want. It's important that their behaviors are not supported. They must see that what they are doing is inappropriate and it is not the right way to go about getting their way.
BPD's act out of fear and desperation. When they are having an emotional outburst (possibly breakdown) they are capable of doing and saying some pretty nasty stuff.
• They blame their partner for everything wrong in their life.
• They manifest an inappropriate rage and resentment
• They self destruct with drugs, alcohol, sex or self harm
• They make impulsive decisions that can affect everyone around them negatively
• They will call names and belittle and become verbally abusive.
• They do not hold themselves accountable to the high standards they hold others to.
People with BPD seem to be suffering.. Something has happened to them that has caused internal suffering, and they live in a constant state of fear. They do however seem to feel remorse after they hurt the person that they love with their outburst and threats. Their behaviors resembles sociopathy. The difference between a person with BPD and a sociopath is that the BPD person realizes after they have calmed down that they have emotionally hurt someone they love and feel remorse for it. They also are internally suffering and they want help. They admit they need help. Many times psychologist are skeptical about taking on a person with BPD. Maybe because they are afraid the rage the BPD person has when they feel abandoned will be aimed at the psychologist, or they feel that it is a life long mental illness that doesn't improve with age or time or therapy.
Reports have shown that a person suffering from BPD, can improve and go on to lead a better life. Yes, they may have burned a bridge or two. But that is something they must accept responsibility for and accept. Some people may forgive others will not. The BPD has to accept that they can't control the way others feel about the or think. They can only control themselves and how they react.
Marsha Linehan seems to be have the most knowledge and compassion for those suffering from BPD. She uses Cognitive - Behavioral Treatment. She also has compassion for partner and parents of those who suffer from BPD.
Of course I am not a MD doctor of psychiatry. Or a doctor at all. I am just a highly sensitive person, who has been hurt by someone I cared for. I was basically duped and it wasn't because the person feared abandonment by me. I was just another object to be used. To this day they have no remorse what they did to me. They feel entitled to every dime I make, and for some reason they just hate me so much, they want to make my life hell. As if cheating and lying to me during our relationship wasn't hell and heart break enough. She will not stop until I am broken down and dead. I cope with this by just taking life one day at a time. My thin is much thicker than it use to be...