Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Healing from the pain
Healing from there pain a sociopath has caused is difficult. It is not impossible though. The reason healing can be so hard, is because the sociopath gives us no closure, and they are more than likely still tormenting us with harassment and smear campaigns.
The emotional abuse from a psychopath/sociopath and narcissist is debilitating, devastating and takes a toll on your heart and soul. The sociopath is so vindictive and hateful. They inflict so much damage because it is hard wired in their brains to be evil, to lie, to manipulate and to destroy others. Psychopaths have significant molecular differences in ther brain. They are without a conscious, and have no feelings of remorse, guilt, empathy or genuine love. They are abusively exploitative and incapable of true love or intimacy. They are self centered, impulsive, reckless, aggressive and irritable. They never will take any responsibility for the actions, and believe they are immune to consequences. Don't think back about the "good time" that you had with the sociopath. It was all a lie. The sociopath gets a rush from destroying human hearts and lives. The worst of it all is that they pretend to care. They are able to show as if they have empathy. When they have none..
So how do we heal from this?
The first thing we can do is forgive ourself. Be kind to ourself and love ourself. We were betrayed and it was not our fault. In order to heal we have to HAVE NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN WITH THE PSYCHOPATH. Revenge is not possible. It may sound good to picture in your mind the sociopath suffering the way you have suffered. Trying to get revenge will only make healing more difficult. Because when we are focused on revenge. We are no longer focused on ourselves. We cannot move on when we are still thinking about the sociopath. Remember the sociopath/psychopath has no conscious and feelings. You will not be able to hurt them emotionally. It will only trigger them to cause more problems in your life.
What you really want is for the psychopath/sociopath to leave you alone. Yes they caused you pain, financial problems, and wasted so much of your life. That is the past and it can't be changed. What can be changed is you. You can't allow the sociopath to continue to hurt you. The only way that can happen, is if you walk away and never look back. No contact is so important because it puts the sociopath in the position of no longer having any control of your life. They know how their words can be powerful and convincing. So cutting off any and all contact will be beneficial to you.
You owe the sociopath Nothing... If you have to change your phone number then do it. Avoid the sociopath at all cost.
You are human. The sociopath/psychopath is not. They may look like a human being but they do not manifest any human being traits. Such as love and empathy. Care and concern for the well being of others.
In order to truly heal and move forward with your life, detachment is necessary. Detach ourself from the disordered person. You may feel so devastated that you will want to isolate and be alone. That is ok... As long as it is not for a long period of time. The sooner you get back out there. The sooner you will start the healing process.
We will do a lot of questioning, and try to figure out what we did to deserve this. The fact is we did nothing to deserve it. The sociopath has done this before and will do it again. There is nothing you did to cause them to treat you this way.
Repair what is broken - force yourself to take back control of your life. Realize that no one can take away your soul. It is yours and yours alone. Start making goals. Find what inspires you. What do you love? What can you do to be a better person and live a fulfilling life? You have survived a sociopath. That is not easy to do. You know you have strength and wisdom to do whatever you set your mind to do. Healing from the abuse and betrayal you have experienced, is a chance to really learn about yourself, and to grow emotionally. You will go through many stages while healing. You will learn more about yourself than you ever have before.
When you feel like giving up and like things couldn't be worse. It's always to remember — this to shall pass...
In moments if despair, know you are not alone. You are supported. There are others who have gone through the exact same thing you have. See how they made it through this horrific experience. Talk with people who can understand what you are going through, because they too have been there and can understand. People who have not been through this will have a difficult time understanding how one person can be responsible for all your troubles. Their intentions may be good, but their advice usually doesn't help you heal.
Healing comes from within you and time. Time heals all. Once the sociopath is out of your life, you will find your true self. You have to look for it though. Sometimes it is something we cannot do alone. When you are feeling hopeless and depressed and just can't seem to get out of being "stuck". It's ok to seek professional help, especially from someone who is educated about how a sociopath destroys lives. Just because you needed to seek counseling or therapy doesn't make you weak. The fact that you have realized that you are stuck and unable to move forward, and you are stepping out of your comfort zone and seeking help shows you have determination and strength. You are dedicated to living a happy life no matter what.