This can save you years of emotional and psychological damage that the sociopath will cause you.
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It is never easy to end any relationship with a sociopath.
But a relationship is much less complicated to end than a marriage!
Marrying a sociopath is a life sentence of hell, the sociopath will try to keep you in legal battles for years. Sociopaths LOVE going to court. They are convincing and skilled liars. They have a fearlessness about them, that they are able to stand up in front of a court of law and make up one lie after another, portraying you as the crazy out of control spouse, and they are the victim. All while remaining cool, calm, and collected.
When normal people face going to court for any reason they are usually nervous. Rather it be for a traffic violation, or for child custody case. Either way the sociopath is completely comfortable and at ease in any situation, that the rest of us would feel tremendous anxiety. This is because we have something the sociopath DOES NOT HAVE — “emotions” and genuine feelings.
It's important to recognize patterns of abuse before committing to a disordered person.
The last thing you want is to bring Innocent children into such a dysfunctional environment.
Please listen when I say NOTHING good can come out of marrying the sociopath – ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
The marriage will end. The sociopath will use the children to manipulate, harass and basically make life feel it's not worth living. They will so malicious things just to make sure their ex partner is miserable.
Children who have a sociopathic parent never get a fair chance in life. They will always suffer at the hands of their vindictive, abusive and unstable sociopathic parent, who will always be in and out of their life. Sociopaths hate responsibility, so taking care of children isn't that appealing to them, but having children as trophies is appealing to them. The sociopathic parent is constantly interfering and disrupting the child's life.
In the children's earlier years the sociopath disrupts their life only to manipulate and control the other parent. Sociopaths use the children as a tool to manipulate to get what they need or want. Or to just to make problems and cause suffering. The sociopath wants their ex to be miserable. They use the children to make sure that this happens.
When the children become adults the aging sociopath has burned all their bridges and does not have the abilities to manipulate others anymore (as their looks have withered, and they have posse off to many people - and no one is buying their shit anymore. So the sociopath uses their children to get what they want. Still using guilt as their weapon of choice. They will usually tell the an adult child how they took care of them for 18 years provided them with a roof over their head and a supportive parental figure. Basically making the child feel as if they owe them.
Fortunately most children of sociopaths are very aware of the pain that the dysfunctional parent caused them and their supportive parent. They are able to see right through the sociopathic parents billshit, deception and manipulation. They usually choose to have no contact and no relationship with the sociopath when they become adults
But unfortunately not all children of sociopaths turn out to be okay. Many become manipulated by the sociopathic parent. The sociopath wants to hurt you through your children. So will always seek full custody. So they will always be in control. Living with a sociopath full time can take its toll on a child's mental state. The children grow up with many psychological issues because sociopaths are abusive individuals, rather it is neglect or verbal and physical abuse.
They don't actually care about the children.
They care about the control they have over the children, to hurt their ex.
Sociopaths are verbally and even physically abusive to everyone, the ex and children are not an exception.
Children suffer from low self esteem, shame issues and depression when raised by a sociopathic parent
There are no real writtings ore understanding of people who has both parents as sociopaths. Can´t find it anywhere. Maybe it is because they are dead, ore so cribbled they cant talk anymore.
ReplyDeletePeople who have been really abused in childhood by both parents, cannot survive. They never get a ego to ophold and defend them self. And they are constantly targets of other sociopaths/psychopaths. Cause they are the easiest prey.
All those self help books, and people writing that you can recover and survive sociopathic abuse in childhood. Dont know what they are talking about, when it is severe. They have, a home, a country, money, friends. And are not just surviving/living dead, do to the fact that they got absolutly no help and compassion.
There are still some truths to them, as people.
Signe Minsker
I completely agree with you. Unless you have been through it, no-one knows how it is to be completely annihilated as a living being. I have not met anyone who can comprehend what it is like to be eaten alive, feasted on by your own parents. I do not know if it is something I can ever get over. All I know is that I still live in hell 20 years after I left their house.
DeleteI agree. I am 46 my doctor/s dont believe me that I was thrown down stairs, into walls,beaten every day for 8 years. sexually abused since infancy I am injured all myu life and they want me to become a pain pill addict
DeleteBoth of my parents are sociopaths. Ive been No Contact with my dad, who lives in my state, for about 5 months.
DeleteAnd No Contact with my mom, who lives out of state, for little over a year. I am not fully healed mentally and dont know if its even possible. But i am a loving parent to two kids, and one on the way. Since there really isn't much info about people raised by two sociopathic parents, i feel even more compelled to finish writing my book. It will be available as an eBook through Kindle later this year, called The Forgotten Angel.
I love life and I encourage anyone going through this to find your true sef through some sort of personal spiritual practice. Not necessarily religion, but meditation, affirmations, journaling. Etc.
Both of my parents are strongly sociopathic, My grandmother is highly narcissistic, cousin and Atleasty one uncle are sociopatic. It is highly generic. Anyways, I just figured this all out within last few years. My life is literally unimaginable. On top of this im a targeted individual of psychopathic gang stalking...so yes, I'm a very special person and life is impossible.
ReplyDeleteI loved this article! Any person with real feelings would automatically think let me send this to the "predator" I know hoping it will enlighten them-but then I come back to reality and realize it wouldn't just go in one ear and out the other-it would be rationalized in thier little pea brain how they don't do that or they do it because (you know, the whole excuse thing). These holier than I people are literally destroying others lives. I haven't met one person that wasn't negatively affected by a person like this. A lot of people
ReplyDeleteDon't know this but if your diagnosed as a sociopath you can't have your children-you can't see or talk to them ever-all rights taken away, now that tells us something about sociopaths. I have extreme PTSD from my year long rein of abuse on a sociopath, I can only IMAGINE the mayhem and complete destruction and product of kids raised by one. If you know one and there are kids involved- don't do anything. Let them parent on their own and drown and then save the kids-the more you fight for what's best the more they "want" them. You have to act like you don't want them. Manipulate the manipulator so to speak.
T. Langbehn
Very nice comment. I agree with what you say at the end. I did find out on my own it the sociopath thinks I want something or thinks there is somethings I care about, they will go out of their way to make me jump thru hoops of fire and do as they say to get that. For instance children.
ReplyDeleteThey see their children as a way to manipulate EVERYONE around them, not just their ex. But the children's grandparents, aunts, uncles.
It's sick really. It's like they had these children just for this purpose. The aging sociopath knows that their charisma and charm will not last Forever. Especially if they live in a small town like the one I know lives in. Basically the sociopath has been exposed. Not so much for what she is a *sociopath* but is now seen in the eyes of others as "unstable" "crazy" or some just think her actions are because she must be on drugs
i was a child of a sociopathic mother who from the age of 4 gave me away to strangers im talking neibours a public house her ex violent husband who broke my legs because of the lack of guilt emoton on my mothers side by the time i was 6 years old i couldnt speak properly i was terrified of people couldnt go near water a lot of damaged was done but since then i have learnt to trust became stronger and can now see them for what they are so they cannot hurt me anymore
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry this happen to you. Just a little thought.. because of our abuse in this life.. Just like Jesus .. We have a Father in heaven. Please know that.. Accept him in your ❤.. He saves!
DeleteIt took me 10 wasted years of my life asking and agonising over WHY my mother kicked me out of the family after the death of my father. In one moment I thought I'd lost not only my siblings but uncles on her side as well. Then I realised I was the LUCKY one because I healed from the abuse and have never looked back since.
ReplyDeleteIve been searching for what was wrong with my mother. She said she hated me from a young age she allowed grown men to have sex with me as a teenager. Beat me and called me a whore when her husband raped me. She always put me down. I didnt kno how to love myself til i was 30. I had 2 children by the time i was 19. When my oldest was 3 dss calls started. She called so many times and cohersed my children to saying things about being sexually abused. Lies that led to me losing my kids. I lost them 3 times. The last time was in 2009. Then the same year on her death bed she made my uncle who somehow gained custody(even tho he was a real child molester of 4 kids already and a drug addict) promise to make sure i never get my kids back. It took me 8 more years to get my babies out of that environment where they were abused, neglected and broken down to feeling they r woethless. They r home now at 16 and 17 but we are all so damaged we cant find peace still. Theres even more but those r the highlights of what she did with her lifes work to destroy her daughter. Ive had therapy, self help, learned to love myself. But i have a hate for my mother so steong that it consumes me. I want to live the rest of my life free of that intense hatred for her. I want to be happy and maybe find a partner in life bc im still a good person and i do deserve love but i dont kno what ut feels like and i keep makinf bad choices. I feel lost and i need to heal this.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for what has happened to you. I hope you realize none of this was your fault. Some of us are born into loving families other of us are not so lucky. Your mother is sick. Not just mentally. But evil sick. You can heal. You can be who you want to be. Do not let the past define you. It's not you! I believe in you and I believe that when a victim of this kind of abuse finally finds themselves - they go out in the world and do amazing things! That can be you! ❤️
Deletebeing an adult child of a sociopathic parent, I can say..they have you believe the most horrifying things about the other parent, and all people (outside their high moral godlike self) while they offer no emotional support, they just fill your head with horror stories, and leave you out to drown in them. anytime they invited you to speak, they simple watch your mouth open, a dialog box to dump the next highlighted idea of themselves as grander, more powerful, a bigger victim or what they would of said grander in any situation. Unless they are in the fraudulent kind stage or love bombing to get you prepared for same. you are simply no more to them than consumable product ..my mother decides before you visit, how many different ways she will fix you, depending on how you respond to her. I believe the planning stage to go into attack festers for months, and she can change the person she wishes to make the target at will...no conscience...with glee...and brags to some, and crys her disappointment in the target to others...every bit is an act...its cruel, cunning and dangerous. I have 6 siblings, we can not have a relationship with each other with out enduring her paranoid accusations we are talking about her...truth is, we are too terrified to ever bring her name up! as if she is the fly on the wall and we will all burn in hell...! I have never in 56years heard her even imply she would like to have this personal growth or that...if you suggested it, you might get physically thrown out and have the family target you for demolition. enough said I guess? still trying to stay no contact...
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, I didnt expect this post to have active comments.
ReplyDeleteYall who are reading this, stay strong! If you're aware enough to realize you've been abused by a sociopathic parent, you have come a long way from where you once were. If you found a way out, you've beat the odds in ways so few others have.
Stand strong! Don't doubt yourself. Your mind is different from the rest of the world: alert, awake. And if you look hard you'll be able to see through the systemic sociopathy that runs everyone else's lives.
Everyone else is controlled by what they're told to want, but you can rise above that. Use what you've learned to live a life that goes beyond yourself. Wake ALL the way up! Start looking to the world as more than something to consume. It is so much more! Look beyond yourself and your tribe, and you can change the world. So few people are able to do anything to make the earth better, but YOU can- because you grew up in hell!
Stand strong, family!
Holy shit, I didnt expect this post to have active comments.
ReplyDeleteYall who are reading this, stay strong! If you're aware enough to realize you've been abused by a sociopathic parent, you have come a long way from where you once were. If you found a way out, you've beat the odds in ways so few others have.
Stand strong! Don't doubt yourself. Your mind is different from the rest of the world: alert, awake. And if you look hard you'll be able to see through the systemic sociopathy that runs everyone else's lives.
Everyone else is controlled by what they're told to want, but you can rise above that. Use what you've learned to live a life that goes beyond yourself. Wake ALL the way up! Start looking to the world as more than something to consume. It is so much more! Look beyond yourself and your tribe, and you can change the world. So few people are able to do anything to make the earth better, but YOU can- because you grew up in hell!
Stand strong, family!
Yes, it's active. I haven't made a post in a while. Dealing with a lot at the moment. Thank you for your comment. And you are exactly right. Don't doubt yourself. Go with you gut, it is probably right. The times I have doubted myself, turns out I was right. The narcissist was doing everything that I felt she was doing.
ReplyDeleteI learned to trust my 1st instinct. Unfortunately it took me a while to learn this lesson. I learned it the very hard way. I started this blog in hopes to help others not have to learn the same way I did.
By the way the only way out if you have children with one of these monsters is probably death. Especially if you are a man and the monster is the mother of your children. Narcissistic men tend to move on and and find another woman for their supply. And they are out and about and do not have much time for kids. But in my experience narcissistic mothers will have other people taking care of their kids while taking the credit for doing all for them. And she will not leave the man alone ever. She will always be demanding for something. Even when one of the children turns 18 and is getting ready for college. She will remind you that just because one of the children is an adult, y'all still must co-parent because as adults their will be weddings and grandchildren. So you really feel hopeless that this predator will ever be out of your life.
ReplyDeleteI am 55 years old. I only learned yesterday what my mother's problem was all this time. God have mercy. The only good news is that now that I know she is very sick, i can finally completely forgive her. I haven't had contact in about 15 years. Unfortuately, I am now wondering if my son is a sociopath. Maybe not. As i have just begun to study and think about behaviors in light of a mental illness I can't say for sure.
ReplyDeleteI recall how she would become a different person for each person in her life or who she was talking to. She tried to tell me "how to make a guy marry me" and other "helpful" hints. I would have nothing to do with it. She in unable to love. She gives gifts instead. Unless they were for Christmas or my birthday they would be some how damaged or in some way undesirable. The lack of caring and relationship was devastating to me. I'm a sensitive person. Now she is trying to use my son to make me miserable. I can tell he is conveying her words to me. Horrible. If she couldn't get me to bow down to her ideas or wants then she would make my life horrible. Said the most terrible untrue things. Evil...plain evil. I am so much better off away from her and no contact. It still isn't easy. A faith in Jesus Christ is likely the only way I have what sanity I do. Trying to get out of the hole she dug for me is hard. I keep digging.
Hey everybody I realized my Mom is a sociopath too. I'm pretty sure she killed my kitten when I was 9, she broke wooden spoons on my body when I was 'bad' a couple of times, she left me home alone starting at the age of 7 late into the night and would send me away every weekend to stay at my Dad's parent's house (he took off early on) where I would travel alone on the ferry starting at age 8. There were always men in our house and I don't know why. I would beg her to make me dinner and she would just stay in bed and tell me to wait. So sometimes I would have no food between lunch at school and 8pm at night when I was little. She kicked me out at age 11 for 'stealing' chocolate chips from the kitchen cupboard. There is so much more. The last straw was her showing up at my house when I was 39 and randomly screaming on the porch of my townhouse that I am mentally ill and need medication. I told her calmly to leave or I would call the police. I have had no contact since but she has still tried to attack me by calling child and family services on me and blatantly lying about our home situation. Upon home visit, Thankfully they saw the lies in the report and deemed my file 'malicious report'. I want to let everybody who has suffered from a sociopathic mother is this: you are way stronger than most people. Get that bitch out of your life and remain absolutely no contact as well as your children. Your life will start to blossom beyond your wildest imagination and your sociopath radar will be so strong, if you are targeted again by another sociopath you will shut that down fast. Have faith in yourself and your strength and your capacity to love and start loving the beings that deserve it. Peace and love to you all ❤️
ReplyDeleteHey everybody I realized my Mom is a sociopath too. I'm pretty sure she killed my kitten when I was 9, she broke wooden spoons on my body when I was 'bad' a couple of times, she left me home alone starting at the age of 7 late into the night and would send me away every weekend to stay at my Dad's parent's house (he took off early on) where I would travel alone on the ferry starting at age 8. There were always men in our house and I don't know why. I would beg her to make me dinner and she would just stay in bed and tell me to wait. So sometimes I would have no food between lunch at school and 8pm at night when I was little. She kicked me out at age 11 for 'stealing' chocolate chips from the kitchen cupboard. There is so much more. The last straw was her showing up at my house when I was 39 and randomly screaming on the porch of my townhouse that I am mentally ill and need medication. I told her calmly to leave or I would call the police. I have had no contact since but she has still tried to attack me by calling child and family services on me and blatantly lying about our home situation. Upon home visit, Thankfully they saw the lies in the report and deemed my file 'malicious report'. I want to let everybody who has suffered from a sociopathic mother is this: you are way stronger than most people. Get that bitch out of your life and remain absolutely no contact as well as your children. Your life will start to blossom beyond your wildest imagination and your sociopath radar will be so strong, if you are targeted again by another sociopath you will shut that down fast. Have faith in yourself and your strength and your capacity to love and start loving the beings that deserve it. Peace and love to you all ❤️
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