Saturday, October 4, 2014

The OBSESSED Narcissist

The narcissist has a difficult time knowing what is real, and what is a delusional that they made up in their crazy minds..
As a DSM-IV trait, the narcissisit's need to fend off inner emptiness, feel special and in control, and avoid feeling defective. The narcissist can become so delusional that they are bordering on a fine line between their own delusions and what is actually real.  
As unhealthy this is for the narcissist, it is even more unhealthy for people in he narcissist life. And it usually will turn into to gaslighting for the narcissistic individuals family members. It causes them confusion, frustration, and delusional thinking...

A person trying to end a relationship or cut ties with a narcissist has a difficult doing so, because the narcissist becomes the person you always wanted them to be. Nice..but it is all an act... To get you to take them back so they can control and treat you like crap again. 

The narcissistic person becomes obsessed with their partner when the partner is not responding, and trying to have no contact. They are obsessed with getting the  CONTROL, they once had back. They can't stand the fact that someone has actually rejected them. Especially their partner, who they have viewed as weak and pathetic. They will not like the fact that you have made a good and healthy decision for yourself - which was to no longer be a part of their dysfunction! 

When the relationship is over, the narcissist can actually do become dangerously obsessed with their ex-partner.  

After failed attempts to get their ex back, the disordered narcissist will resort to stalking, destroying property, verbal attacks, ridiculous demands, and obsessive calling, emailing and obsessively text messaging. 

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder confuse the intensity they feel with intimacy. They do not know how to have healthy, loving, and intimate relationships. 

Being in a narcissistic relationship is painful. Narcissist cheat, lie and treat their partners as if they mean nothing to them.  The relationship is built around infidelity, the narcissist huge EGO and control. 
(The narcissist can also be jealous and fear losing control but it has more to do with maintaining their narcissistic supply source)

The fact is, that there are some people who are just unable to mentally “let go” of their partner after a break up — especially if there were children as a result from the relationship.

It is difficult to end a relationship with narcissist. The narcissist will keep calling, keep visiting, keep arguing and trying to reconcile. All while still having sex with other people. THE NARCISSIST NEVER CHANGES, THEY WILL ONLY PRETEND TO BE WHAT YOU WANT UNTIL THEY GET THAT CONTROL BACK.

The non-disordered person may take the narcissist back a few times before they realize that nothing will ever become better. 
Once you end the relationship for GOOD with the narcissist, you may be followed, stalked, threatened, put downed, and called nasty names by your ex. 

When left unaddressed, in extreme cases the disordered Narcissist becomes obsessed  and it may progress to the point that they will use the children to get their ex to respond, and if those tactics don't work they may threaten to hurt the children. 
Narcissist manipulate their ex by using the children. But when that DOES NOT work. The narcissist becomes desperate and angry - they are willing to do whatever they must to make contact with their ex.  
The narcissist knows their ex loves the children, then the disordered person will attempt to hurt their ex by hurting the children

In extreme cases they will actually cause harm to their children. Even kidnapping the child (children) from school or by refusing to return the child after their visitation is up. 

Narcissist and Sociopaths have very many similiar traits. The sociopath is usually more ruthless in their tactics to gain control or get what they want.


  1. Think I really needed to read this. I am trying to cut all ties. Thank god all of my children are grown.

  2. its hard to believe that a N never really loved you or cared for you everything he has told you was a lie. but it is what it is. had to deal with a N for 3.5 years. He left ne for another suply. I felt bad and sad at first but after reading about N now I know he doesnt love her either. he is just obsessed with the idea of the perfect love which of course does not exist.

  3. My story. He has a wife now, and came back like a wracking ball. He wants to be friends or he will get full custody. He never cared about his child and now he uses him to get to me. Here is a perfect description of him : pathological liar, abuser, cheater, stalker, and a theaf. Why do courts help these ppl to abuse us, the victims. Why courts allow lies and faje evidance without any facts? All he had to do is shed a tear and say, " she took him and I didn't know where she was" and he judge fell for it ignoring the actual FACTS. We need to stop these ppl, since they are dangerous to others.

  4. Reading this was very scary for me. It's only been a couple days since I had to have him escorted out by police. I've blocked more than one number and he still keeps finding ways to reach out to me. I'm getting a TPO ASAP. It feels like he WONT GO AWAY! We weren't even in a relationship, but in his mind, we were.