Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Cheating

Sociopaths cheat because they can...they take what they want because they want it, and they have no moral issues that they are concerned with. Since they do not  recognize rules, and simply believe that they are above the rules. They do not think much about their behaviors and they believe they can do no wrong, so the rules don't apply to them. 

Like narcissists, sociopaths are indifferent/unconcerned to the damage they do to innocent people.

To a sociopath, cheating is like a game where he/she maneuvers an individual into giving him/her what he/she wants and it has no special meaning to them. Although the sociopath will do everything to make you think otherwise....they are skillful con-artist. They will say everything they know you want to hear. They will make you believe you are special, irresistible, and everything they could ever want. But the truth is, they see you as an appliance, that they will only use when they want to. 

Narcissists and Sociopaths, will both wreak havoc and destruction on the lives of the people they encounter. Especially preying on innocent, kind and good hearted people.

There is only one way to deal with them once you have discovered that they are this way.  Get far, far away from them, and fast! NO CONTACT!  When you do this with a narcissist, they will try very hard to get back in your life (as their ego is sensitive to rejection)

Of course they say all the perfect things you have been wanting to hear. But once you let them back in, the bad behaviors like passive aggression, emotional neglect and abuse, and betrayal will start again. This vicious cycle that will never end, unless you cut out all forms of communication. They will do things to hurt you even more, once they realize that you have gone No Contact. 

For example; trying to make you jealous, telling mutual friends how glad they are to be rid of you, while also talking about how much fun they are having or new relationships they are in. IGNORE IT. And don’t try to hurt in them in return. That will waste your time and energy. 

The narcissistic sociopath is going to do everything in their power to destroy you, your reputation, your job, your friendships, and your happiness. They will try to annihilate the very fiber of your being. 

My other post have plenty of information about the different tactics that the narcissists and sociopaths use in order to try and destroy you. Stay Strong. 

Dealing with these Monsters is hard. You will feel like you are fighting for your life. **But remember their goal is to wear and tear you down. 

Narcissist or Borderline Personality Abuse

The causes of personality disorders, such as sociopathic, narcissistic, psychopathic, and borderlines are not entirely clear... Some of these personalities were abused as children by a caregiver. 

Most, however, are not so easily identified because of their lying. It is unfortunate for those who really have suffered physical or emotional abuse. Because of their pathological lying, it is very hard to confirm if they are telling the truth or if they are just attempting to manipulate, and elicit pity from someone. 

Sociopaths and Narcissisit lie about eveything. They will lie just to lie..

Even when there is no reason to lie, and the truth would be in their best interest, they will still lie. They don't care who they lie to, and what they lie about. There is no rhyme or reason behind the lies they tell.  I assume because they are just so darn good at it, it just comes natural to them..

Cluster B Personality Disorders - are the most dangerous of disordered individuals. The most dangerous of the cluster B's is the Sociopath (Anti-social personality) and the Narcissist. 

The sociopath is by far the most dangerous because there is no functioning conscience. There is no moral compass. Yet the sociopath does know the difference between right and wrong, they just prefer to do what's wrong. They are skilled at manipulating others, with the intent to cause harm. Sociopaths blend in so well with “normal” people, that people are unaware of the dysfunction going on behind closed doors. The sociopath paints a picture perfect family life for the rest of the world to see, but in reality they are making the people who live with them, and family members miserable..

The sociopath is more likely going to cause physical and emotional harm to others, before they will harm themselves. Unlike the Borderline who is more likely to hurt themselves. 

While both can be emotionally abusive, the borderline acts out with self-harm and obvious displays of out-of-control behaviors. While the sociopath acts out in devious under-handed ways, such as spreading rumors to destroy your reputation, stealing from you and destroying you financially. 

All of the cluster B's are often deeply insecure. It is this insecurity that drives them to act in such horrific ways. Although the the sociopath and the narcissist display arrogance and a confident demeanor - it is just another lie that they are living and acting out. They ENVY everyone. They are jealous individuals. It is their sense of entitlement, that makes them act as if they are “owed” or “entitled” to whatever it is they desire.

The Sociopath will take what they want, they do not care of who gets hurt. 

When your ex is trying to destroy reputation

When we have been abused, betrayed, lied to, cheated on, had rumors spread about us, lost friends, felt isolated, been afraid, lost everything, doubted ourselves, felt guilty, believed it was our fault - more than likely we were in a relationship with a sociopath. Or we were friends, or have a sociopathic family member.  

Once we discovered the truth, and realized we are not the only victim of this person, who had some how destroyed our life, our soul, and left us with little to no trust in the world. We are able to begin healing from the traumatic experience. Healing takes time. We are weak, alone, afraid, and don't know who we can trust.

The hardest part of healing is feeling safe and facing the world. 

When my sociopath spread rumors about me all over town — to my child's school, to my neighbors, to people who i respected in the community. I was afraid to leave the house. I was afraid of what others were thinking about me. What lies had my sociopath told everyone? And did anyone believe those lies. My sociopath had a reputation in town already, so why would people believe the lies that they were spreading?

I felt that people would rather believe the bad they have heard about you - rather than the good. It seems people don't go around talking about the good about you. But they will go around talking about anything bad about you. 

For a while I truly felt isolated from the world. I did not want to go out of my home. 

Even though the people who knew me, knew the hardships I had been through with my ex. They new that my ex wanted to hurt me, and make my life unbearable. So far my ex was doing a pretty good job. 

I never went and spoke with a therapist, even though it may have helped. I just focused on my children, and getting my life back. It wasn't easy. When the sociopath still would talk badly of me, any chance that arose. 

When I went no contact and chose to ignore my sociopath, that's when things got very ugly. I refused to communicate with the ex. So my ex decided to tell everyone, and put it on social media that i was a "cyber stalking troll". Even using my first and last name to slander me. My ex made up a fake domain site in my name. Pretending to be me, and impersonating me in an unfavorable manner.  Basically painting a picture of a very unstable person, that was trying to get help for my mental problems. The worst part was if you googled my name, the website that my ex started about me was the first thing that came up. That is  when I said “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”

I contacted a friend of mine whose husband is a police officer. And I ask what could be done about this website that my ex started about and was impersonating me in such a way. It was slander and defamation.

My friends husband informed me that it was cyber stalking, and I should file a police report. — so I did that. Which only made my ex crazier. Although the website was taken down, I was now being accused of more horrific things. 

I wondered if this crap would ever stop. I felt hopeless... I began to stop looking online, and begin to focus only on myself my children and healing. It was very tempting to want to get online and see what my ex was saying now.but I never did. I gave it a good eight months before I looked at anything my ex was doing online. I still do not look up my ex'a online activity. 

Your Abuser Will Never Change

Sociopaths,  narcissist, psychopaths, and also the dark triad personality disordered person  has mastered how to attack and retreat. This is how they keep their victims off balance. They sociopath undermines the victim and works to lower the victims self esteem, confidence and independence 

Abuse sociopaths suffers from internal discomfort and conflicts that they have no clue how to deal with, due to their lack of being able to genuinely connect to others. Sociopaths do not have much practical and logical thinking inside their mind. Rational reasoning, kindness, and empathy, is just NOT there.  They do so many damaging things to their victim  is to compensate or satisfy their own insecurities. Sociopaths and narcissist will work  hard to give others the impression that they are Confident, self assured, independent, and basically “awesome” Human being. 

The sociopath does not ever look within themselves.  Because “within" them is hollow and empty. They don't seek to understand or respect others because they do not understand or respect themselves. The ONLY understanding the sociopath wants to find is how to better manipulate and control their victim.

The Truth is that narcissist and sociopaths are very insecure. The narcissist more so than the sociopath. The narcissist is very skilled at hiding their  own weaknesses. Their strategy is to make the victim look ‘unstable, dangerous, and suffering from low self esteem. The sociopath hides their insecurity and self-hatred by exploiting others, and portraying them as weak. 

Since these abusive types of people CaNNoT control their own life, and (malicious) emotions, they try to control others, through manipulation, lies, threat, blackmail, and for a lack of better words, causing their victims to doubt their self, and feel unworthy and not good enough. While if these malicious types may have some positive qualities. Although I have never seen anything positive come from a sociopath, ever ..  

The narcissistic sociopath will always hold very toxic and unrealistic expectations of victims and their family members, these expectations are to ridiculous to ever really met. Those who try to meet these expectations will become exhausted and drained. The sociopath convinces them that they a failure, and they will constantly berate them, and be verbally abuse. This is a game that the sociopath loves to play with people in their life. The sociopath has mastered this "game" and they know it is a game that they will win, and that their victims cannot win. 

Narcissist and sociopaths are ABUSERS. It's vital for all victims of these vile individuals to remember, the abuse more than likely has nothing to do with you. If they are not abusing You, they would be abusing someone else. They abuse family members as long as the family member stays in the sociopaths life. The actions of the abuser are not Your fault. Even though the sociopath will have you convinced and brainwashed that you are to blame for anything they may have done to hurt you.  One of the hardest things to accept and understand is You will have little or no impact on the sociopath. They will never change. They are wired the way they are. They aren't suffering from a mental illness, but they have a malevolent personality disorder,  the are unable to feel empathy when there is suffering, and they hurt and cause severe damage to anyone who meets them. 
They are basically soulless. So never expect these types to change. There may be a temporary change but it will not be lasting. It is only another tactic to get back in your life, once they do the abuse will start again. 

Even if the abusers wanted to change, they seldom want to put any real effort towards changing. Victims of emotional abuse often think otherwise. They stick around hoping they can fix things and hoping that their abuser will change. 

Please leave and get out before you wake up one day and notice you look older and feel older and realize you have given all your good years and all your energy to this person, who has never valued and never will value you for the amazing person  that you are. 

Smear Campaigns is a Narcissist Specialty

 Smear campaigns are typically conducted against people who have stood up against some form of unfairness, abuse, or entitlement.

Narcissists and Sociopaths are highly active smear campaigners - spreading rumors is their speciality

A smear campaign involves blatant lies, exaggerations, and the use of half truths to come across more creditable to any skeptics, their goal is to convince others that they are the victim and the person they are slandering is the disordered

Smear campaigners insinuate that the victim is mentally ill, unreasonable, incompetent, untrustworthy, or abusive.

Sociopaths  typically play on the sensibilities of others, using people’s empathy and morals to turn people against their victims – most often for having done nothing more than disagree with the smearer.

A smear campaigner prefers to make others think they are good people who are rightfully standing up against the victim’s supposed immorality or abuse.

Smear campaigners play the victim, the hero, or both.

Smear campaigners try to ostracize their victims and make them feel alone, unpopular, and unsupported by others.

Smear campaigners enjoy the feeling of having “gotten back at” their victims, and believe it is completely justifiable – even fun – to mistreat someone for having an opinion that is different from theirs.

Smear campaigners do not acknowledge the wrong they do, and cannot typically be expected to genuinely confess or apologize — even after they’ve been proven liars.

Do not speak to smear campaigners unless it’s completely impossible not to. If you DO have to speak to the smearer, do so only in the presence of others and in copied emails/properly documented letters. Plan ahead to prevent being put in difficult positions by the smear campaigner.

Lastly, remember that you do have the right to make fair and healthy requests, and if you are smeared as a result, smearing is an unreasonable and unacceptable response.

HELL on EARTH - Being the Ex-spouse of a Sociopathic Narcissist

Being the victim of a sociopath can be pure hell. Especially if the sociopaths is an express that you share children with. Or if the Sociopath is your new spouses ex that they share children with. The harassment of you and your spouse seems to never end. They use the children against you. They spread lies about you. They tell the children’s teachers, the children’s friends parents, what a crap parent you are and it will spread rumors about you and your new spouse or girlfriend.

They do this to socially destroy you. To ruin your life. And anyone who is in your life that you love.

You must disengage from the dangerous Sociopath. Sometimes it is not always realistic to go totally “NO CONTACT”  when you have children.
So in order to minimize their ability to exploit, deceive, manipulate and harm you.
You must detach, distance, and disengage.
The Sociopath thinks because you share children together, that they can talk to you every day, send you harassing messages. When you tell them that if it is not concerning the children, and you have nothing to say to them. The sociopath will make up stories about the children to you, just so they can talk to you, the only reason they want to communicate with you is to make your life difficult. 
The sociopathic narcissist wants to control you in every way they can. And they are going to do this by using your children, that you love, against you.

They will use the children as their greatest weapon against you. They will deny you access to your children, they will tell you how bad of a parent you are, they use guilt, they will do anything and everything to try to stay in contact with you in order to maintain control over you.
Once you go no contact with them. They become desperate to make contact with you, it will become an obsession for them. They will make up lies about the children, saying things like one of the children has been diagnosed with a serious medical condition, one of the children is so upset about the way they are not communicating that that child needs therapy. When the child really does not know what is going on. Unless the Sociopath has told the child something, but you as a loving parent have not involved your children and letting them know what an evil mother or father they have.

Do not rely on any information the sociopaths gives you. Always verify all information concerning the child’s health with the child or with your child’s doctor, teachers, counselors. You will more than likely find that everything that the sociopathic narcissist told you was UNTRUE. 


DO NOT CUT THE SOCIOPATH ANY SLACK!
Do not put up with their harassment. If they continue to harass you and call you, and you have told them that you refuse to deal with them because everything out of their mouth continues to be alive. Tell them that you only want to communicate with them through an attorney. But not directly. And then blocked their number from your phone.
This will in rage the Sociopath, they will become obsessed with getting you to respond. You will get text message from random numbers, that the Sociopath has found online to text you with. They can become dangerous, even moThis will enraged the sociopath, they will become obsessed with getting you to respond. You will get text message from random numbers, that the Sociopath has found online to text you with. They can become dangerous, even more so than they already are..

Always remember that narcissistic sociopaths take pleasure and making other peoples lives difficult, and watching them suffer... 

Dealing with one of these individuals is HELL on earth.