Accusations of the disordered Ex

The Ex Spouse - There are some people (the lucky ones) who actually get along with their ex. Most of us are not so lucky....

Why can't your EX get a life? Why won't he/she just move on and leave you alone? After all he/she has remarried and claims to be so happy, especially now that you are no longer in their life...  
When your ex continues to call, text, email to tell you the what you need to do while the children are with you (as if you are so incompetent that you can't figure it out yourself) You are probably dealing with a controlling, demanding, and disordered ex. You have noticed that the intention with your ex is not good. They are not doing what they do because they truly are thinking only about the children. They are doing this, because they want to be in control of you. The ex knows you have moved on, you are happy with your new spouse. This drives your disordered ex insane (more insane than he/she already is) Scary huh.....

The mere thought of your psycho ex -- the person who lied, manipulated and ultimately left you -- is enough to make your stomach turn, even if the contact is sporadic.  It's hard to understand why they are still trying to have contact with tho everyday. You think to yourself “does my ex know what the word DIVORCE means?”
“Why is she demanding I attend her families Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Fathers Day, and Mother's Day with her”? Yes, that is exactly what I want to do on my holidays, spend time with my ex who has attempted to destroy my reputation, turn my children against my new spouse. The same person who has made one false accusation after another... (Sarcasm)

It's important to always keep in mind, YOU EX HAS A CHARACTER DISORDER. Your EX is not in touch with real human emotions, therefore they live in an altered reality than the 
rest of us.  A normal, stable person Does Not attack you one minute (in an anonomyous fashion online, or by spreading rumors to your children's school about you) then expect you to be present at their Christmas party the next. 

Sociopaths, malignant narcissist, and character disordered individuals have a convenient way of forgetting all the horrific things that they have done to you. In their whacked out brain, they truly think that if they pretend that everything is good, and they did not do anything wrong to you - That you will just go along 
with it. And sometimes we will go along with it, because it means a break from the constant drama. It means a day of peace, without the harassment. We are desperate for peace. Unfortunately when we go along with their delusions, it only compels them to continue to think they can always treat you a certain way, with no consequences. 

It is hard to stand up to your psychotic ex. You know they will make your life hell when you decide to spend time with your own family, instead of theirs on holidays. When you first stand up to them, expect to recieve calls and numerous text, about how hurt the kids are that you didn't come to Christmas. (Your ex seems to have forgotten that you have a family and the kids are coming to spend the other part of their holiday with you) REMEMBER YOUR EX WILL ALWAYS USE GUILT INORDER TO GET YOU TO DO WHAT THEY WANT. 

You know your ex is going to use guilt to try to get their way. It's important for you to stay strong. And remember it is not about the kids to them. It's about them, wanting to continue to control your life, your money, your holidays, your free time, your family — even though you are divorced. The reason you ex divorced you or you divorced them was because you no longer wanted to be together. Right? That means you no longer spend Christmas mornings together. You no longer attend their family functions, because their family is no longer your family. 

Yes, it is hard on the children. DIVORCE in general is hard on children... That is a FACT. 

When your ex decided to cheat on you with other men, or women. Were they thinking of how THAT would Hurt the children??    Of course they didn't.. But now your ex wants to tell you that you are emotionally damaging the children because you don't want to spend your Father's Day and other special holidays with them. 

So when your ex starts their usual guilt tripping, and letting you know that you are a horrible parent, and that your children are suffering because of your selfishness (because you remarried and decided to be happy) If you are a good parent, then none of it should bother you. Your ex claims that your child needs counseling because of you. When your child is with you, is your child happy? Do the children seem withdrawn or depressed when they are with you and your spouse? 
If the answer is No, then you know that your ex is the pathological liar, they have always been. Just another desperate attempts to control you. They are pathetic.

If the answer is Yes, then YOU need to get your child evaluated by a psychologist and find out why they are feeling this way. It is not because you didn't attend your exes family event, as your ex has said. If your home is a safe and healthy environment, it is important to find out what is causing the child to be withdrawn. 

Your ex is a liar. You know this. They will try to portray to you that they are the  picture perfect parent. You know better... They seem to have conveniently forgotten (again) that you use to live with them. You know behind the scenes how dysfunctional they are. They haven't made a miraculous turn-a-round. They are still dysfunctional. There is numerous people coming and going from their home. They allow their cousin who is a convicted felon to do their yard word and home repairs, for a cheap price. They are not around to supervise anything. Are the children at home alone a majority of the time?  

The more your ex is accusing you of emotionally damaging your children, you can bet it is because they are incompetent, and they think projecting their dysfunction onto you will take some of the focus off of them. 

I have seen too many times where the disordered person has emotionally abused and battered their spouse. To the point that they will not defend themselves or stand up to the disordered person. They are afraid. They have witnessed them destroy others. They know of the damage they are capable of. They know they are ruthless, heartless, and have not one Ounce of conscience in them. 

The Dysfunctional Brain of the Sociopath

The sociopaths brain does not function “normally”. Somewhere  along the path of development, a sociopath's brain ceases to grow. Instead of the circuitry inside her/his brain getting excited about learning something new. Basically the circuitry opts out.

A lot of people believe sociopaths are very intelligent. WRONG. Sociopaths are not any smarter than anyone else.  In fact their brains are defective and do not develop normally, they lack intuition, compassion, and the ability to rationally think. At about the age of 15 it is apparent that the sociopath is different from the rest of us. 

The reason a sociopath excels in certain areas is because of their lack of a conscience, lack of remorse and they have no moral or ethical values. So when they have to study (say for the bar exam) that's all they are thinking about. They are not worrying about their relationships, their family or friends. Because they do not have the ability to love or care about anyone's well being. So they can become super focused. 

So later on in a sociopaths life when they decide to target someone who doesn't kiss their ass, thats all that they do. 

They solely focus on destroying their victim. They are not focusing on their children or family or bills (stuff normal people worry with daily)

Sociopaths aren't concerned at all with these things. 

Have you ever heard "no one can destruct the will of a sociopath" or "you can't beat a sociopath". That maybe true, if you are a victim of a sociopath. Because the sociopath is thinking of ways to destroy you 24/7. 

While you are busy working, being a mother or father to your children, taking care of household things, paying bills, living life. 

THE SOCIOPATH IS NOT DOING ANY OF THAT. 

The sociopath doesn't care about paying bills, or caring for their children or checking in with loved ones. The sociopath ONLY cares about revenge and creating chaos and drama.

The sociopath will attempt to convince others they are mommy/daddy of the year, they will pretend to try to be a busy busy busy little bee - doing so much for everyone! They are telling others how they are working hard, and paying bills, they are the PTA mom, the volunteer, the caretake of everyone. And they are pretty damn convincing. 

But it IS ALL LIES, yep LIES... THEY ARE NOT BUSY DOING ANYTHING FOR ANYONE. ITS ALL A FACADE.  They put on this fake persona in order to look like the Successful Business woman, Suzie Homemaker, and A loving Daughter/son to their parents. That way other people will not see the evil, back stabbing person, ruthless person they really are. 

The only people who really know how heartless and evil the sociopath — are people who are unfortunate enough to have to know the sociopath. Like the sociopaths parents, siblings, spouses, and children.  

The sociopath’s brain is not advanced in anyway. In fact scientific studies show that the sociopath/psychopaths brain did not develop as a normal brain should. 

As a result, the sociopath almost never grows up. They never emotionally grow. Their whole life is basically a lie. They always will blame others for problems they created. They will never see how their actions and behaviors is why they are dysfunctional. In some regards they are a Large Evil Child. 

Sociopaths are cowards. They run away - regardless of age. This childish and deceptive behavior is one of the reasons why so many victims of the sociopath, will initially think that the sociopath may have an inability to communicate effectively & assume that the sociopath’s behavior comes from a lack of life experiences.  

Before a victim of a sociopath discovers that the person they are dealing with is actually a sociopath. The victim assumes the sociopath is very rigid in her/his thinking because she/he has never been in a situation where she/he has had to consider another persons feelings or a group of people. 

Being empathetic human beings (unlike the sociopath), we set aside our frustrations, and instead, we feel pity for this person who seems to have been living in a protective bubble their entire lives. We have a hard time believing that some people are just plain evil, hateful, and cold. The sociopath is just that...

People with fully functioning brains, who feel empathy and compassion for all forms of life — THEY WANT TO BELEIVE THAT OTHERS ARE AS GOOD and COMPASSIONATE as they are. It is hard for “good” people to accept that a person we know and that we have allowed in our life is definitively just a “Bad Person” 

But unfortunately their are people out there (more than you think) that are mentally defective and are unable to feel compassion, love, and concern for humans and any other forms of life. 

Sociopaths will always make life as difficult and as miserable as possible. They will NEVER change. They will always create chaos. They are Pathological Liars, Cheaters, and Con's..

Once they decide to target you and you become their victim. They will spend hours on the phone spreading lies and false gossip about you - in order to destroy you and ruin your reputation. THEY ACTUALLY BECOME OBSESSED WITH YOU. THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING YOU DO. They will stalk you, PRANK CALL YOU, make up lies about you. THEN THEY WILL TURN AROUND AND ACCUSE YOU OF DOING ALL OF THAT TO THEM. 

So how do you cope with an obsessive stalking sociopath. YOU TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Let them know what is going on. Tell them everything, detail for detail. That is how I personally got through being stalked and harassed 24/7 by a sociopath. And the craziest thing is that my sociopath is still trying to harass me just on a covert level. Ex - has made up a Facebook page in a family members name and requested all the people I am friends with. The funny thing is, a few of my good friends went ahead and excepted the friend request, just to see what she has up her sleeve next. EVERYONE IS AWARE OF THE "fake" FACEBOOK PAGE. And it has just confirmed to us that this person is even more unstable than we had thought. 

The sociopath does not attain a rite of passage like the rest of us. She cheats her way into adulthood, because the sociopath spends her teenage years regressing mentally and emotionally....