The OBSESSED Narcissist

The narcissist has a difficult time knowing what is real, and what is a delusional that they made up in their crazy minds..

As a DSM-IV trait, the narcissisit's need to fend off inner emptiness, feel special and in control, and avoid feeling defective. The narcissist can become so delusional that they are bordering on a fine line between their own delusions and what is actually real.  

As unhealthy this is for the narcissist, it is even more unhealthy for people in he narcissist life. And it usually will turn into to gaslighting for the narcissistic individuals family members. It causes them confusion, frustration, and delusional thinking...

A person trying to end a relationship or cut ties with a narcissist has a difficult doing so, because the narcissist becomes the person you always wanted them to be. Nice..but it is all an act... To get you to take them back so they can control and treat you like crap again. 

The narcissistic person becomes obsessed with their partner when the partner is not responding, and trying to have no contact. They are obsessed with getting the  CONTROL, they once had back. They can't stand the fact that someone has actually rejected them. Especially their partner, who they have viewed as weak and pathetic. They will not like the fact that you have made a good and healthy decision for yourself - which was to no longer be a part of their dysfunction! 

When the relationship is over, the narcissist can actually do become dangerously obsessed with their ex-partner.  

After failed attempts to get their ex back, the disordered narcissist will resort to stalking, destroying property, verbal attacks, ridiculous demands, and obsessive calling, emailing and obsessively text messaging. 

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder confuse the intensity they feel with intimacy. They do not know how to have healthy, loving, and intimate relationships. 

Being in a narcissistic relationship is painful. Narcissist cheat, lie and treat their partners as if they mean nothing to them.  The relationship is built around infidelity, the narcissist huge EGO and control. 

(The narcissist can also be jealous and fear losing control but it has more to do with maintaining their narcissistic supply source)

The fact is, that there are some people who are just unable to mentally “let go” of their partner after a break up — especially if there were children as a result from the relationship.

It is difficult to end a relationship with narcissist. The narcissist will keep calling, keep visiting, keep arguing and trying to reconcile. All while still having sex with other people. THE NARCISSIST NEVER CHANGES, THEY WILL ONLY PRETEND TO BE WHAT YOU WANT UNTIL THEY GET THAT CONTROL BACK.

The non-disordered person may take the narcissist back a few times before they realize that nothing will ever become better. 

Once you end the relationship for GOOD with the narcissist, you may be followed, stalked, threatened, put downed, and called nasty names by your ex. 

When left unaddressed, in extreme cases the disordered Narcissist becomes obsessed  and it may progress to the point that they will use the children to get their ex to respond, and if those tactics don't work they may threaten to hurt the children. 

Narcissist manipulate their ex by using the children. But when that DOES NOT work. The narcissist becomes desperate and angry - they are willing to do whatever they must to make contact with their ex.  

The narcissist knows their ex loves the children, then the disordered person will attempt to hurt their ex by hurting the children. 

In extreme cases they will actually cause harm to their children. Even kidnapping the child (children) from school or by refusing to return the child after their visitation is up. 

Narcissist and Sociopaths have very many similiar traits. The sociopath is usually more ruthless in their tactics to gain control or get what they want.

The Obsessed, Dangerous, and Desperate Sociopath

Sociopaths are toxic. They destroy others. They inflict emotional harm on family, ex spouses, spouses, children, and even strangers. Sociopaths will never leave you alone. Most ex spouses of a sociopath will usually  try to have "NO CONTACT" because of the harassment they receive on an everyday basis. 

The sociopath will obsessively call, text, email and harass. It can become so frequent, it disrupts the victims work, personal life, and peace. 

No Contact Does Not Always Work

Even when the victim establishes no contact with the sociopath, refusing to return or answer calls, not responding to text messages, or emails. The sociopath does not always get bored with you, and move on to their next victim. Sometimes they become obsessed with you. They will become desperate just to get a tiny response from you. They will make up lies to try to get a response. Some will tell you that they have a terminal illness (such as stage 4 ovarian cancer). Knowing you are not a monster, you probably will respond, because a normal person with a normal brain, will feel sad, and guilty to ignore someone who is supposedly “dying” . A person with an abnormal brain, that lacks so conscience and no heart is the only kind of person who will tell you they are dying when they are not, just to get you to respond. 

Why does a sociopath go to such extremes just to get a response?

                 CONTROL

The sociopath wants control. They had control over you at one time and they intended on keeping control over you. So when you move on with your life, and no longer allow the sociopath to control your life. They become desperate to get that control back. The sociopath can become most dangerous when they become obsessed with you. Most sociopaths go their entire life, and never kill anyone. Although they make life hell, and ruin many people. Many do not ever murder. An obsessed sociopath is dangerous because the fact is, they do not have a conscience. Since it is our conscience that keeps us from doing awful things to others, the sociopath is capable of almost anything. When a sociopath is stalking you, and has become obsessed with you. It's important that you live cautiously. Never forget what you are dealing with... A monster..

When you are the victim of a sociopath who is obsessed with controlling you, even though you ended the relationship. It's important to try to stay one step ahead of them. This can be difficult and exhausting, and not recommended, unless you feel you are being stalked by the sociopath. Being involved or around a sociopath for a long time, you will be able to see the patterns and can predict  some of their manipulation patterns and behaviors. Trying to stay one step ahead of the sociopath will eventually wreak havoc on your own sanity and health. So it is best to contact your local police department, let them be aware of the harassment. 

Most importantly DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT everything. Save emails, text, and record any phone calls, save any voice mails. You may need these things in order to file a protective order or restraining order against the sociopath, when they will not leave you alone. 

The sociopath will always have what seems to be a valid excuse to contact you. If you have children with the sociopath, the harassment you will get from the sociopath can cause stress, anger, frustration, depression, and even physical illness. Having children gives the sociopath a reason to contact you everyday.. Even though there is no reason to actually speak to your ex EVERY SINGLE DAY, the sociopath will find one – the children –

The sociopath is going to call, text and email just to bother you and annoy you most of the time. Sending text so minuscule like "Suzie has a dentist appointment today, and she is very scared of going" or "Bobby has a test in science and is worried he will fail". The strangest thing is when you speak with your children you will usually find out that Susie never went to the dentist. And bobby wasn't worried about a science test. The sociopath has no rhyme or reason why they send you text that are random and made up. It is just to disrupt your day. They hope you will respond, become upset (that your children are worried).

The sociopath loves keeping you on your toes and causing drama in your life. Even when you have moved on and they have moved on. They still want to bother you just because they can. They want to be able to feel that they have that control over you. They need to know that if they want to, they can disrupt your mind state, foil your plans, stress you out, cause chaos in your life, and control your emotions. 

They do this because they are disturbed people. They are desperate and pathetic. They do not realize what they are doing is harming their children emotionally. Most of the time the parent who is being harassed on a daily basis. Will feel anxiety and fear about having to deal with their ex spouse. They want to avoid the ex. Because of the constant contact and harassment. This affects the children, because they may not be able to see both parents as much. THE SOCIOPATH MAKES GETTING THE CHILDREN SO DIFFICULT, and So STRESSFUL. The other parent shuts down. They are emotionally drained after dealing with a psycho for so long. They even suffer from a form of Emotional PTSD. 

Once the sociopath sees that their ex is avoiding them. They will push even more. By be-littling, degrading, putting down, trying to instill shame and guilt about not being a good parent. How the children are embarrassed by their family and it is all that parents fault, because of the lack of co parenting. It is all a ploy to get control and to get that response. 

The best thing the parent who is being harassed can do is; do right by your children when they are with you. Know that you cannot control what the sociopath does. Taking the sociopath to court will only make the situation worse. Sociopaths are able to work the legal system and you will probably lose that battle. So don't take them to court unless you feel the children are being physically or sexually abused. Do the best you can for your children when they are in your care. DO NOT EVER speak negatively of the sociopathic parent. Just be the best parent you can be. 

AND ABOVE ALL IGNORE THE SOCIOPATH, CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IF YOU MUST. 

**NEVER ALLOW THE SOCIOPATH TO AFFECT YOUR LIFE, IT IS HARD BUT IF YOU MAINTAIN NO CONTACT THEN THEY ARE BASICALLY HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THEMSELF EVERYTIME THEY CALL AND LEAVE A MESSAGE Or TEXT YOU 

The Dysfunctional Brain of the Sociopath

The sociopaths brain does not function “normally”. Somewhere  along the path of development, a sociopath's brain ceases to grow. Instead of the circuitry inside her/his brain getting excited about learning something new. Basically the circuitry opts out.

A lot of people believe sociopaths are very intelligent. WRONG. Sociopaths are not any smarter than anyone else.  In fact their brains are defective and do not develop normally, they lack intuition, compassion, and the ability to rationally think. At about the age of 15 it is apparent that the sociopath is different from the rest of us. 

The reason a sociopath excels in certain areas is because of their lack of a conscience, lack of remorse and they have no moral or ethical values. So when they have to study (say for the bar exam) that's all they are thinking about. They are not worrying about their relationships, their family or friends. Because they do not have the ability to love or care about anyone's well being. So they can become super focused. 

So later on in a sociopaths life when they decide to target someone who doesn't kiss their ass, thats all that they do. 

They solely focus on destroying their victim. They are not focusing on their children or family or bills (stuff normal people worry with daily)

Sociopaths aren't concerned at all with these things. 

Have you ever heard "no one can destruct the will of a sociopath" or "you can't beat a sociopath". That maybe true, if you are a victim of a sociopath. Because the sociopath is thinking of ways to destroy you 24/7. 

While you are busy working, being a mother or father to your children, taking care of household things, paying bills, living life. 

THE SOCIOPATH IS NOT DOING ANY OF THAT. 

The sociopath doesn't care about paying bills, or caring for their children or checking in with loved ones. The sociopath ONLY cares about revenge and creating chaos and drama.

The sociopath will attempt to convince others they are mommy/daddy of the year, they will pretend to try to be a busy busy busy little bee - doing so much for everyone! They are telling others how they are working hard, and paying bills, they are the PTA mom, the volunteer, the caretake of everyone. And they are pretty damn convincing. 

But it IS ALL LIES, yep LIES... THEY ARE NOT BUSY DOING ANYTHING FOR ANYONE. ITS ALL A FACADE.  They put on this fake persona in order to look like the Successful Business woman, Suzie Homemaker, and A loving Daughter/son to their parents. That way other people will not see the evil, back stabbing person, ruthless person they really are. 

The only people who really know how heartless and evil the sociopath — are people who are unfortunate enough to have to know the sociopath. Like the sociopaths parents, siblings, spouses, and children.  

The sociopath’s brain is not advanced in anyway. In fact scientific studies show that the sociopath/psychopaths brain did not develop as a normal brain should. 

As a result, the sociopath almost never grows up. They never emotionally grow. Their whole life is basically a lie. They always will blame others for problems they created. They will never see how their actions and behaviors is why they are dysfunctional. In some regards they are a Large Evil Child. 

Sociopaths are cowards. They run away - regardless of age. This childish and deceptive behavior is one of the reasons why so many victims of the sociopath, will initially think that the sociopath may have an inability to communicate effectively & assume that the sociopath’s behavior comes from a lack of life experiences.  

Before a victim of a sociopath discovers that the person they are dealing with is actually a sociopath. The victim assumes the sociopath is very rigid in her/his thinking because she/he has never been in a situation where she/he has had to consider another persons feelings or a group of people. 

Being empathetic human beings (unlike the sociopath), we set aside our frustrations, and instead, we feel pity for this person who seems to have been living in a protective bubble their entire lives. We have a hard time believing that some people are just plain evil, hateful, and cold. The sociopath is just that...

People with fully functioning brains, who feel empathy and compassion for all forms of life — THEY WANT TO BELEIVE THAT OTHERS ARE AS GOOD and COMPASSIONATE as they are. It is hard for “good” people to accept that a person we know and that we have allowed in our life is definitively just a “Bad Person” 

But unfortunately their are people out there (more than you think) that are mentally defective and are unable to feel compassion, love, and concern for humans and any other forms of life. 

Sociopaths will always make life as difficult and as miserable as possible. They will NEVER change. They will always create chaos. They are Pathological Liars, Cheaters, and Con's..

Once they decide to target you and you become their victim. They will spend hours on the phone spreading lies and false gossip about you - in order to destroy you and ruin your reputation. THEY ACTUALLY BECOME OBSESSED WITH YOU. THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING YOU DO. They will stalk you, PRANK CALL YOU, make up lies about you. THEN THEY WILL TURN AROUND AND ACCUSE YOU OF DOING ALL OF THAT TO THEM. 

So how do you cope with an obsessive stalking sociopath. YOU TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Let them know what is going on. Tell them everything, detail for detail. That is how I personally got through being stalked and harassed 24/7 by a sociopath. And the craziest thing is that my sociopath is still trying to harass me just on a covert level. Ex - has made up a Facebook page in a family members name and requested all the people I am friends with. The funny thing is, a few of my good friends went ahead and excepted the friend request, just to see what she has up her sleeve next. EVERYONE IS AWARE OF THE "fake" FACEBOOK PAGE. And it has just confirmed to us that this person is even more unstable than we had thought. 

The sociopath does not attain a rite of passage like the rest of us. She cheats her way into adulthood, because the sociopath spends her teenage years regressing mentally and emotionally....

Cut off all communication

Sociopaths use children as a cover for their manipulative and obsessed behavior.  Stalking and harassment can be done under the guise of "necessary" contact for visitation, etc.  Outsiders assume that the Sociopaths behavior is "normal" or "necessary" because of child contact, and so outsiders do not understand or recognize the way that the sociopath is manipulating their children's father. The non-sociopathic parent is victimized by excessive, unnecessary, harassing contact.

The sociopath will want to have contact with the parent of their children. NOT BECAUSE IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN.  But because it's how they stalk, control and make your life hell. So when the children are older and the non-sociopathic parent tries to establish contact with only the children - the sociopathic parent will become angry. Because if the parent can communicate with the children verses her - she is losing control. And sociopaths fear losing control. So she will insist you must communicate only thru her. DONT GIVE IN TO THAT. If your children are at an age where they can communicate with you - then by all means communicate with them only and cut off ALL contact with the sociopath. Despite her threats, and attempts to hold control over you. Know that she cannot control you once the children have reached a certain age.  

Sociopaths will try to make life hell for you. Not only will they make your life hell. They will target your new wife or husband as well. They target your new spouse because of the jealousy they feel towards them. Once you moved on and decided to remarry or become involved in a serious relationship, the sociopathic realized that you are no longer concerned with them. The new person in your life means that they will not be able to control you for much longer. So what do they do? They target the new person in your life, hoping to make life as miserable as possible for them – in hopes that the person will leave you. 

The sociopath may or may not want you back. But the reason that they run off or try to run off any body that you maybe come involved with. Is because that person poses as a threat to the sociopath. The sociopath loves control and fears losing control. The sociopath  will do whatever they can in order to stay in control. You and your significant other may have to go through years of hard times, drama and stress. But if you stay strong and you refuse to allow the sociopath to interfere in your lives and cut off all contact. Your relationship will be not be damaged by the sociopath. 

The sociopath cannot get away with their tactics forever. Always remember that. They will be exposed eventually... Whether it's when they're 45 years old or when they are 75. They will be exposed. One thing to look forward to is knowing that the sociopath will eventually die. They live a reckless lifestyle, most abuse drugs. So their survival rate is usually not good 

They hate you because They Want To Be You

You could be in the best mood, and have the best of intentions and a sociopath will cut you down, make fun of you, give you a dirty look, (or even have their followers give you looks). They will accuse you of something that you NEVER did or said.  Sociopaths have a way of ruining your life, and your good moods. 
And if you dare to challenge their perceptions of you or something that they say you did, they immediately blame you and make everything your fault. The bottom line is, knowing a sociopath will make life difficult. Being in a relationship (or worse - sharing children with one of these twisted evil predators) you are sure to suffer from PTSD and feel emotionally drained and burned out. Sociopath take such a toll on our well being some people even become physically sick.

WHO ARE SOCIOPATHS?

Well basically sociopaths are the shit people who can’t create their own joy. They see your joy and the light inside you that they will never have. So they want yours. Sociopaths have an entitlement issue, they do not ask - THEY TAKE. They are TAKERS - they are NOT GIVERS. They covet what you have and what you are. They are insecure and jealous of everyone who is happy. And they’ll stoop to the dirtiest of tricks just to destroy you.

Watch out for the charismatic liars....

Sociopaths pretend to care. They pretend to like you. They manipulate in such a deceptive way that it's impossible to identify one the minute you speak to one. They give people who are social, loving and caring and charismatic a bad rep..

But it does not take long for the sociopaths true colors to Shine. Most people are unaware of sociopaths and do not have the knowledge they need. But if you have the knowledge you will know one of these predators after about a week of knowing them and even then it will be hard to break away from their destruction and sometimes to late to save yourself. Because by rejecting the sociopath there sure to seek revenge. And to stay with one is an even worse fate.