Finding our beautiful soul behind painful lessons

The best things those of us who have been terrorized by a sociopath is to lead the best possible life that we can. Everyones healing process will be different. But the truth is once the sociopath is out of your life, you have the chance to be free and discover who you truly are meant to be, before the sociopath came into your life and destroyed many beautiful parts of you.

When the healing starts to take place we will discover how many amazing gifts we have. We are able to choose those who deserve to be our company.

The sociopath manipulated us for so long we became lost and forgot our dreams and goals. Remembering these things will help you to heal and  calm your mind. This will be essential for us to begin healing and moving  forward in our life..
Do what you love everyday. Once you are free of the sociopath, you will find you now finally have the time to live your life. You may have to overcome certain fears and anxiety first, but this should be easy for you. You have survived a sociopath, and if you can do that, you can do ANYTHING!

The sociopath causes one to feel empty. Some of us have forgotten how to smile at others, make simple eye contact, or even just be silly and have fun. You are capable of all of these things. The real you is still there, some of us  just must go deep to find it.

Never forget that you have survived! Having a sociopath in your life means that you have been through a situation that was degrading, demeaning and horrible. Some of us even lived in the same home with the sociopath which was a house of terror, contemptuous and destructive treatment.
But we are still here today. We are not victims anymore. We are survivors. We endured every moment and every day with a monster who came across normal to the rest of the world. We felt fear of their arriving home, we felt anxiety of what emotional abuse was to come next, every single minute of the day that we were with the sociopath. We lived in fear and terror. The fact that we are still here and working to let go of that painful part of the past.  That deserves the deepest of respect.

We will heal from All the pain the sociopath has caused us. Unlike the sociopath we are capable of learning valuable life lessons from our painful life choices and mistakes. It is in these painful lessons, we become stronger, wiser, and better. It is in those painful lessons we learn that NO ONE owns us. We own ourself...

Once we have accepted that we were at the mercy of a very evil individual for months or years. All because we are kind, giving, loving, forgiving and genuine. And that is why the sociopath chose us. They do not choose people who are harsh, mean, aggressive and overly assertive, that would make manipulating, lying, cheating and controlling to hard for them. They don't much care for a challenge. In fact most of them are very lazy and would rather be able control and abuse without having to put a lot of effort towards it. They are looking for someone they believe will take being abused and keep their mouth shut about the abuse. Once the relationship had ended, the sociopath will always cover his/her tracks by slaughtering your character and making up lie after lie about you. This is one of the abusive acts that the sociopath will put extreme efforts towards. Just to be sure that if you do decide to speak about what was done to you, they have made sure no one will believe you.

Understand this is what these types of individuals do! Before you, they were doing it to someone else.  After you, they will find another victim and do the same to that person. You were not the first target/victim, and you will not be the last.

We will eventually find our way to the path of freedom. And will be set free from the emotional prison that the sociopath held us in. We will finally be rid of this evil creature once and for all.

Healing will start to take place. Although it does not occur over night. It is a process that takes time. But in this process you will learn more about yourself than you ever knew existed.
You will find out what an amazing person you are and that you have always been. 

A sociopath is a thief, they take so much from everyone. They take away confidence, peace of mind and faith in humanity. They steal the light that they see in the victim, and replace it with dark.
No matter how broken you think you are. All that the sociopath takes away from you can be restored.

The one thing that the sociopath can NEVER take from you, is your soul.

It is something that they do not not have and that they lack. They hate you and everyone else who has soul. No matter what terrible, evil, awful, hateful, deceptive, degrading, demeaning, immoral, horrific painful and abusive acts they have committed towards you.

You will always have a beautiful soul. 

And that is something that the sociopath will NEVER be able to experience, or be able to steal from you or anyone else. They will remain empty, shallow, miserable and unable to ever experience the beauty of love and compassion.

Finding our beautiful soul behind painful lessons

The best things those of us who have been terrorized by a sociopath is to lead the best possible life that we can. Everyones healing process will be different. But the truth is once the sociopath is out of your life, you have the chance to be free and discover who you truly are meant to be, before the sociopath came into your life and destroyed many beautiful parts of you.

When the healing starts to take place we will discover how many amazing gifts we have. We are able to choose those who deserve to be our company.

The sociopath manipulated us for so long we became lost and forgot our dreams and goals. Remembering these things will help you to heal and  calm your mind. This will be essential for us to begin healing and moving  forward in our life..
Do what you love everyday. Once you are free of the sociopath, you will find you now finally have the time to live your life. You may have to overcome certain fears and anxiety first, but this should be easy for you. You have survived a sociopath, and if you can do that, you can do ANYTHING!

The sociopath causes one to feel empty. Some of us have forgotten how to smile at others, make simple eye contact, or even just be silly and have fun. You are capable of all of these things. The real you is still there, some of us  just must go deep to find it.

Never forget that you have survived! Having a sociopath in your life means that you have been through a situation that was degrading, demeaning and horrible. Some of us even lived in the same home with the sociopath which was a house of terror, contemptuous and destructive treatment.
But we are still here today. We are not victims anymore. We are survivors. We endured every moment and every day with a monster who came across normal to the rest of the world. We felt fear of their arriving home, we felt anxiety of what emotional abuse was to come next, every single minute of the day that we were with the sociopath. We lived in fear and terror. The fact that we are still here and working to let go of that painful part of the past.  That deserves the deepest of respect.

We will heal from All the pain the sociopath has caused us. Unlike the sociopath we are capable of learning valuable life lessons from our painful life choices and mistakes. It is in these painful lessons, we become stronger, wiser, and better. It is in those painful lessons we learn that NO ONE owns us. We own ourself...

Once we have accepted that we were at the mercy of a very evil individual for months or years. All because we are kind, giving, loving, forgiving and genuine. And that is why the sociopath chose us. They do not choose people who are harsh, mean, aggressive and overly assertive, that would make manipulating, lying, cheating and controlling to hard for them. They don't much care for a challenge. In fact most of them are very lazy and would rather be able control and abuse without having to put a lot of effort towards it. They are looking for someone they believe will take being abused and keep their mouth shut about the abuse. Once the relationship had ended, the sociopath will always cover his/her tracks by slaughtering your character and making up lie after lie about you. This is one of the abusive acts that the sociopath will put extreme efforts towards. Just to be sure that if you do decide to speak about what was done to you, they have made sure no one will believe you.

Understand this is what these types of individuals do! Before you, they were doing it to someone else.  After you, they will find another victim and do the same to that person. You were not the first target/victim, and you will not be the last.

We will eventually find our way to the path of freedom. And will be set free from the emotional prison that the sociopath held us in. We will finally be rid of this evil creature once and for all.

Healing will start to take place. Although it does not occur over night. It is a process that takes time. But in this process you will learn more about yourself than you ever knew existed.
You will find out what an amazing person you are and that you have always been. 

A sociopath is a thief, they take so much from everyone. They take away confidence, peace of mind and faith in humanity. They steal the light that they see in the victim, and replace it with dark.
No matter how broken you think you are. All that the sociopath takes away from you can be restored.

The one thing that the sociopath can NEVER take from you, is your soul.

It is something that they do not not have and that they lack. They hate you and everyone else who has soul. No matter what terrible, evil, awful, hateful, deceptive, degrading, demeaning, immoral, horrific painful and abusive acts they have committed towards you.

You will always have a beautiful soul. 

And that is something that the sociopath will NEVER be able to experience, or be able to steal from you or anyone else. They will remain empty, shallow, miserable and unable to ever experience the beauty of love and compassion. Which is the emotions that the majority of human beings possess that makes us different from wild animals

How the sociopath will silence the victim

Truly evil people avoid extending themselves. They will take any action in their power to protect their own laziness, to preserve the integrity of their sick self. 

Rather than nurturing others,they will actually destroy others in this cause. If necessary, they will even kill to escape the pain of their own spiritual growth.

                                 —M. Scott Peck, Psychiatrist, 

                                Author People of the Lie

Narcissists, Sociopaths, and psychopaths are not mentally ill. There is no therapy to that will ever be able to help them. There is no amount of medication for them to take to balance their brain chemicals. 

It is not their brain chemistry that is off balance. 

It is their soul and conscience. The simple fact is, these types of people have no soul, no conscience, they feel no guilt, no remorse. They find ways to fly under the radar, doing just enough to convince others they are productive. But those who are unfortunate enough to live with a person like this, know the truth. Most are usually to afraid of callling the sociopath out on their lies and deceptive behaviors. This is because they know the damage the sociopath is capable of doing to them. 

The sociopath will stop at nothing to silence someone who they believe could expose them for who they really are. They will do this by spreading lies about the person who they deem as a threat before the person can expose them. The sociopath will begin making accusations toward the target. Staying that the person is crazy, unstable, and a liar. Sociopaths play the victim while vilifying the real victim. They will say they are afraid of what this person will do to them, accuse the person of being obsessed and stalking them. 

Social media makes this very easy for them to do these things. After the sociopath has created enough doubt in the minds of others and spread enough destroying information about the person. The victim is usually silenced, because they are traumatized by what is being said about them. The disgusting lies that the sociopath has said, damages the self esteem of the victim. The person no longer has the confidence to tell their story and what the sociopath has done to them. 

Even when the sociopath has silenced their victim, .this doesn't mean that they will stop mentally and emotionally tormenting the victim. 

The Reign of Terror Never Really Ends

Sociopaths really do not understand honesty, they believe it is something that only the weak and vulnerable does. Their mind is so warped and twisted, they truly cannot comprehend truth, love and compassion.


Being exposed for the shallow, manipulative, soulless liar is something that terrifies the sociopath/narcissist. 

The sociopath/narcissist has a few primary goals, that do not change much through out ones entire existence. That goal is to control others by any means possible.
Having control ensures the sociopath can live an easy, carefree life, never having any real responsibility. 

The sociopath wants the outer world to perceive him/her as a do-gooder. 
Someone who is empathic, and hard working.  Something all of us who have ever had to deal with this type for dysfunctional person know all to well.

All of us that have dealt with a character flawed individual (sociopath/narcissist) already know that they believe they are too "special" and "precious" to actually work hard for something. This is the reason they seek out people whom they believe to be “weak”. They target these types of people because they are compassionate, generous and loving. 
The sociopath knows that they will be able to fully take advantage of their kindness. 
They don't see people as potential friends or future lovers. They see them as an object they can use to do all the work that they believe they themselves are to good to do. 

The sociopath/narcissist will take the credit, and recognition for the hard work and responsibility that is done by someone else. 


People who are unaware that they are in a relationship with a sociopath do not realize it until their life has been turned upside down by one. 

There is never enough anyone can give the sociopath to satisfy them. 
Many have tried to give and give to the sociopath, only to exhaust themselves, and realize they are attempting to fill a black hole of nothingness. 
The sociopath is so shallow, there is nothing  in this world that will ever fill the emptiness that they are. 

YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PLEASE A SOCIOPATH! 
Everything is very temporary for them. They leave their victims feeling alone, defeated, and broken. 

The sociopath is envious of others. Not because of anything other than they want to be the center of attention at all times. 

I have personal experience with a female sociopath who has aged awfully.
I'm sure this person has always been hateful by nature. As she has aged, not so gracefully she has becomes even more hateful, bitter and resentful. 

I always wondered if the sociopath ever changes with age.. For most of us when we age we do not have the energy we did when we were younger. But I have experienced with a certain sociopath who I have to still somewhat deal with, that aging does not stop their  reign of terror. 

Marrying a psychopath, and how they portray you as the unstable perpetrator.

Sociopath, narcissist, psychopath... Whatever you want to call one. They have one similar quality..

They have NO remorse. 

They are capable of causing horrific pain and suffering. (mentally and physically)  They simply could care less about the damage they cause. When normal people cause pain others pain, it is usually under the circumstance of being hurt, afraid or simply not having the tools to handle confrontation and pain appropriately. The difference in normal and psychopathic is; Normal individuals feel remorse for what they have done to hurt a person. The guilt will affect them so much, they have a hard time living a happy life. Psychopaths are able to keep thriving, the pain they know they have caused someone, doesn't bother them. They probably won't ever think about it again, unless the person they caused the pain to, expresses that they are hurt. This doesn't evoke guilt in the psychopath. Instead it evokes ANGER, irritation, and then the psychopath continues to cause more hurt, and damage.

Psychopaths intentionally hurt others, without ever feeling any guilt. 

In fact, “guilt” is a foreign emotion to the psychopath. They do not know what guilt feels like because they have never felt it. Yet ‘guilt’ is used often by the psychopath to manipulate others. 

They are often able to get people to do what they want, by making the person feel guilty. 

From my own observations, guilt is one of the psychopaths favorite tools to use against an empathic, caring person. Especially when it comes to children. Having children with a person with psychopathic tendencies is a living hell. It is almost impossible to ever live a happy life when you share children with a psychopath. They will never leave you alone, they will use the children to manipulate and use you.  The psychopath pretends to be a caring parent who Loves their children, but the truth is, the psychopath is not capable of Love. They are only capable of Hate. And unfortunately the psychopath HATES their EX more than they LOVE their children. 
Even when the children are of adult age, the psychopath will still find a reason to torment you. 

People who marry psychopaths, do not marry them knowing they are psychopathic. They were lied to and manipulated to believe the person was genuine and caring. But the person soon learns that person they married is not a good person. Some people will live in deniall, because accepting that you have married a monster is a hard pill to swallow. The marriage never last, but the abuse and trauma from the marriage does.. 
The psychopath becomes bored with their spouse/victim, because they have nothing more to offer the psychopath. So the psychopath simply moves on to their next victim, of course not before slandering, spreading lies, and accusing the victim of horrific acts against them. They do this to protect themselves against what the victim may say about the relationship. By bashing the victim first (before the relationship is even over) the psychopath is making sure their 'story' is heard before the victims. 
This makes the victims story look false. 

After all the psychopath has already warned others that their soon to be ex, would probably try to accuse them of abuse or cheating, to simply get revenge because they didn't want to be in a relationship with such a unstable person who has deep mental problems. 

The sociopathic grin - Smiling or Baring Teeth

This quote is talking about a sociopath.

And it is so true! 

Sociopaths smile so nicely to everyone, and look so friendly. Little do most know that they are actually planning on destroying someone.

The person they will always target is the caring, sympathic, loving and most genuine person. 

After all why  would a sociopath target someone like themselves? With someone with the same intentions that they have? When it's much easier for them to target a kind, trusting and giving individual. 

Sociopaths and narcissists have an unhealthy deep love for themselves and their own reflection in the mirror. 

Of course you will only see the hatred they have for you — after the honeymoon phase is over of course.

There is Life After the Narcissist/sociopath

We all go into a relationship with a narcissist/sociopath without knowing the trauma, pain, hurt, betrayal we will go through for this unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship. 

We become addicted  to the narcissistic sociopath, this explains why we find it so hard to maintain No Contact  and why we have such a hard time leaving and moving on with our life, or moving on to healthy relationships. Because after its over we may feel one excites us in quite the same way or with the same intensity as our toxic partner. 

We are not aware that we have become the suffering and the suffering becomes us.

We forget what normalcy feels like.

This is what the sociopath/narcissist does to us, they play so many mind games, that we forget what a healthy relationship feels like, the dysfunction becomes our new normal. We even question our own sanity, and our own true self. The narcissist is so toxic, they make us feel that it is us that attracts toxic people into our lives. We feel we are doomed, which in turn becomes everyday anxiety, that is crippling to our emotional and mental health. 

The truth is that, we are not doomed. We may have become addicted to the chaos, because that is what the narcissist has shown us. The narcissist will always worm their way back into our good graces and life, and  as soon as we feel stable, and believe that maybe this time things will be different, the narcissist disappears and causes us hurt once again.  We feel rejected once again by this toxic person. 

More than anything in the world we wonder, why this person can't love us, what is wrong with us?

We want answers and need validation. As we get to our lowest, the narcissist enters our life again, and we take him/her back because the pain and depression was so real, we will do anything to feel even the slightest bit better, it is these painful feelings that the narcissist counts on, to re-enter our life, only to repeat the same vicious cycle again. 

This is how we become addicted to the narcissist. They prey on our weakness, exploit our humanity, and they do it so well, we become blind to the dysfunction, the dysfunction becomes a part of our life. The dysfunction becomes normal to us. 

As sad as it all is, usually it takes the narcissist finding a new person to exploit and use, for the toxic, soul-devouring relationship to end. The truth is the narcissist becomes bored with us. They know they can always come back and we will be there. So they discard us like trash. Leaving us broken, lost, and emotionally scarred.

We feel all we want is closure from them. The narcissist will never give us closure. They will tell their 'new' victim that we are crazy and emotionally unstable, they spread untrue rumors about us. They discredit us to anyone who will listen. 

We feel defeated and utterly hopeless...

It becomes impossible for us to move forward. We become angry and withdrawn. It's hard to even tell friends about our pain, because we don't want to hear "I told you so". Because every time we had taken the narcissist back, our friends and family didn't support our decision. They were right, and now being in pain after the narcissist final blow to us, hearing "I told you so" is just to painful.

And we just cannot take feeling anymore pain than we already in. 

So it is relieving when we find support in other places. When we read stories similar to our own, by other victims of a narcissist/sociopath. It is these supportive places that some of us find strength to begin to heal.

Once we start the healing process, it becomes easier to began to share our story. We don't feel so much shame about what happened to us. It becomes very clear that we were not betrayed by a normal human being, but we were betrayed by a personality disordered individual, with no moral compass, and unable to feel empathy for others. Knowing this helps us to realize we are not sick, or doomed.
What happened was not our fault, we were just another convenient victim of a very sick and twisted individual.
Knowing this helps us to begin to move forward and live life again with gratitude and a new appreciation for life.