When Reality Slaps You Hard

The realization that you are dealing with a sociopath. Or have been romantically involved or currently still are involved with a sociopath, narcissist or a psychopath is a very surreal and scary feeling. You have obviously realized something was not “right” with the person. So you did meticulous research and all signs point to a person who lacks a conscience.
A person who has no regard for the feelings of any other person but him/herself..

It is very difficult for most of us to understand and accept that there are people in our world that do not feel any empathy and have absolutely NO remorse. 
What is even more devastating (besides finding out the person you have shared so many details of your life with has NO Soul). Is realizing that every moment you shared with this person was FAKE. It wasn't real. 

The sociopath/narcissist has faked every emotion in order to manipulate you into believing they are normal with normal human emotions, just like you. 
They have pretended to love you, just to manipulate you into giving them what they want. 
How does one heal and recover from a deception so Big? You gave your time, energy, love and heart to someone, and you believed they loved you just as much. How does one ever trust again? Love again?  I

Once you have accepted the harsh reality for what it is. It's time to move on. 
It will Not be easy. The sociopath has left you feeling as if the energy/life force has been stolen right out of your soul. This is why healing takes time. You must take care of yourself, be good to yourself and never blame yourself for what happened. After all you were not this evil persons first victim and you will not be the last. This predator will continue this until their last day on this earth. They are simply soulless beings among us. 

Usually as soon as you begin the healing process, the narcissist will suddenly come back to your life, and they will say whatever they have to say to get you back. They will be that same great wonderful amaZing person you met in the beginning. Stay Strong! 

Remember THE NARCISSIST/SOCIOPATH WILL NEVER CHANGE. 

They are able to  fake emotions like. remorse,  sorrow, and even shame. They will act sorry to get you to forgive them for whatever they have done wrong.  They are NOT sorry though. They know exactly what they are doing and plan on doing it again. They actually do not see anything wrong with their behavior.  This is just how twisted they really are.

Narcissist/Sociopaths are serial cheaters.  Every single one of them. Rather it's a man or woman. Just like they are not capable of feeling empathy, they are not capable of being loyal. 

When you first caught them doing something wrong, they initially probably won you back fairly quickly or were able to deny any responsibility and convinced you they are not to blame. But after the 2nd, 3rd, even 4th time the issue came back up, you begin to have your suspicions. But of course the sociopath still tries to show you a great deal of sorrow, empathy and whatever other human emotions they know how to mimic, to manipulate you again. 

They can look so damn genuine, it's really mind blowing to know its all bullsh*t. 

They never feel bad that they have caused so much pain. They actually will feel bad for themselves, when you have had enough and are not so easily swayed and forgiving this 
time. So what started with them apologizing and acting remorseful soon turns to them blaming you (once they realize that you don't believe them) There anger comes raging out at this point, not because they feel bad about anything, their mask is starting to slip  because they were caught.

Psychopaths, sociopaths and Narcissist

Sociopaths, psychpaths, and narcissist have similiar traits. But they are are actually different. In my research I have found all in all they all destroy lives. They all shatter self esteem, rob people of their quality of living and hope. 

Psychopaths, Sociopaths and narcissist know exactly what they are doing to their victim. In fact they know what they are going to do to their victim before they do it. 

Psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissist are able to sound as if they have a good sense and that they are of sound reasoning. They come across as charming and innocent. All people, even trained doctors may find that these disorders individuals seem to be pleasant people, that are fully functioning and have high capabilities. 

Psychometric tests also very frequently show the psychopath of superior intelligence. They may conclude that the sociopath is smarter than the average person. Both the sociopath and psychopath can appear brilliant. But it is the sociopath who is of average intelligent but has just convinced us that she/he is smarter than us all. The Narcissisit is likely to seem free from social or emotional impediments, from the minor distortions, peculiarities, and awkwardnesses so common even among the successful. 

The sociopath and the narcissist have shown many superficial characteristics and they are not universal, but they are very common.

The psychopath on the other hand is very smart, and rarely makes mistakes that will get him or her caught. Unlike the sociopath whose life begins to unravel around the age of 45 (especially the female sociopath). 

Old debts will catch up, and people have caught on to the scheme of the sociopath, and are no longer willing to do their dirty work for them. The sociopath being impulsive and having little self control, has probably been married over 3 times at this point, and is unable to keep a job. She relies on child support from the ex-spouses whom she has children with. The community is no stranger to his/her behaviors. 

The psychopath on the other hand is able to keep a steady job. And what the psychopath does is calculated and planned out. There are no holes in his story. Many sociopaths and psychopaths never commit murder. But all are capable of murder. A psychopath thinks about losing the ir freedom if they are caught for such acts, where is a sociopath is so impulsive, they do not think and do not care. They are only interested in themselves and what they want in that moment. 

Sociopaths (at least the ones I have observed) can only be “functioning” for so long... Before they get caught for the many deceptive things they do. They are very spiteful, jealous, angry individuals. They hate people who are successful, have a lot of money, or work hard. The sociopath wants all those things, but doesn't want to work to get them. 
There is a sense of entitlement there. They believe they are entitled to a BIG piece of the pie, even if they did nothing to earn or deserve. They will take credit for everyone else's hard work, and they never will acknowledge the person who actually deserves the credit. In fact they will end up destroying the person. Mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, and spiritually in order to make sure that the person cannot speak out against them. 

One thing that the psychopath, narcissist, and sociopath all have in common is they all have NO EMPATHY FOR ANY FORM OF LIFE. They have no emotional connection to others {all though they are able to fake sympathy and concern VERY well. But they truly do not care, they NEVER WILL care, and there is nothing you can ever in this life do to make them care. They are EMPTY, hollow, shallow and ruthless people who will look you in the eyes, smile and then turn around and destroy you every chance they get 

Starting to Heal

Psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissist, any cluster B anti-social personality disordered individual, destroy lives. They are parasites, that attach themselves to their host (you) and suck the life out of you.

Those who survive a relationship with one of these disordered people, suffer greatly. 

All of us survivors have a lot in common.. The lies, manipulations, the slow realization that our partner is a monster, and for most of us the sudden truth that the person you thought you were in love with, is not the person you thought they were. It is a horrible despairing feeling. It's hard to accept that the person you have spent so much time with has no conscience. No loyalty to you. No loyalty to anybody... 

You feel you have been tricked. You feel foolish. You may even question your own self worth.. 

Your self worth, self esteem and confidence is at stake when you are in a relationship with a sociopath, narcissist or any other person with APD (anti-social personality). 

It becomes more so when you try to end the relationship with them. Or they decide you have served your purpose and no longer need you so they non-chalantly discard you. 

When the relationship or marriage is over. You may have survived. But there is still much healing you have left to do. 

In my blog I have discussed many of the nasty things that the sociopath/narcissist do and the toxicity they create in lives. 

This second part of this year, I am going to be more focused on how we can heal ourselves. How we can restore our true self, that has been stolen from us. How we can finally move forward with our life. It feels hopeless at times (especially if you share a child or children with one of these monsters - they may discard you but they enjoy causing you pain. They never want you to be happy and they do this by using your children against you) 

Healing from the abuse and betrayal of a disordered person can be difficult,  because in your fight to survive, you have become drained, and exhausted. You can't remember anything positive or any happy times. You may have fallen into a deep depression. And you are just living your life on auto pilot. You barely get out, because you have lost most of your confidence. The world is a scary place. It's a lonely feeling. You may isolate because the sociopath has launched such a nasty smear campaign against you.  You don't know if anyone believes the lies the sociopath has said to others about you. You feel safe in your home, and you can't find the strength to leave your safe place.

Feeling this way is ok - for a little while. But it is so important that you regain your self worth back. You cannot do that if you do not interact with others. People need to see that you are ok, and if they have heard nasty rumors about you (spread by your abuser) - by getting out and showing up, people will see you are not crazy or unstable as the sociopath has told many. There is no need to bash the sociopath. There is no need to even bring them up. Talking about them and how they wronged you, can rehash all those feelings of despair and hopelessness. The point of going out is to move on with your life. Constantly talking about how your ex tried to destroy you, and spreads dirty lies about you - still gives the sociopath Power Over You. Because you are still letting them control you, even when they are not around. You have to take YOUR power back. By eliminating the sociopath completely from every aspect of your life.  

The Sociopath has the Most Dysfunctional Family

Abusive people love to blame and frame. They never admit or take responsibility. They would actually mean that they would have to have a conscience.. And that is one of the many things that they lack. 

People usually confess or accept responsibility because they feel remorse and guilt. A sociopath never feels remorse or guilt. They do not even know what remorse and guilt feels like. They are so disconnected emotionally from others and from having emotional connections with other people. They view others as objects to be used. If you don't have anything that the sociopath wants - you are no use to them. They will probably leave you alone. Unless you do something to piss them off - then you are their target and they will attempt to destroy your existence..

But the question I have always wondered then is; Why do sociopaths get into relationships? 

My guess would be for "status". They want to appear as the perfect mommy or amazing father and husband. It's all about making others think they are perfect and better than anyone else. They will paint a picture of success and having the perfect family. But only the people who live under the same roof as them - know all to well that everything is far from perfect... Behind the fake toothy smile is the most dysfunctional family dynamic. Which usually include emotional abuse, physical abuse, lying, cheating, neglect and misery...