The Obsessed, Dangerous, and Desperate Sociopath

Sociopaths are toxic. They destroy others. They inflict emotional harm on family, ex spouses, spouses, children, and even strangers. Sociopaths will never leave you alone. Most ex spouses of a sociopath will usually  try to have "NO CONTACT" because of the harassment they receive on an everyday basis. 

The sociopath will obsessively call, text, email and harass. It can become so frequent, it disrupts the victims work, personal life, and peace. 

No Contact Does Not Always Work

Even when the victim establishes no contact with the sociopath, refusing to return or answer calls, not responding to text messages, or emails. The sociopath does not always get bored with you, and move on to their next victim. Sometimes they become obsessed with you. They will become desperate just to get a tiny response from you. They will make up lies to try to get a response. Some will tell you that they have a terminal illness (such as stage 4 ovarian cancer). Knowing you are not a monster, you probably will respond, because a normal person with a normal brain, will feel sad, and guilty to ignore someone who is supposedly “dying” . A person with an abnormal brain, that lacks so conscience and no heart is the only kind of person who will tell you they are dying when they are not, just to get you to respond. 

Why does a sociopath go to such extremes just to get a response?

                 CONTROL

The sociopath wants control. They had control over you at one time and they intended on keeping control over you. So when you move on with your life, and no longer allow the sociopath to control your life. They become desperate to get that control back. The sociopath can become most dangerous when they become obsessed with you. Most sociopaths go their entire life, and never kill anyone. Although they make life hell, and ruin many people. Many do not ever murder. An obsessed sociopath is dangerous because the fact is, they do not have a conscience. Since it is our conscience that keeps us from doing awful things to others, the sociopath is capable of almost anything. When a sociopath is stalking you, and has become obsessed with you. It's important that you live cautiously. Never forget what you are dealing with... A monster..

When you are the victim of a sociopath who is obsessed with controlling you, even though you ended the relationship. It's important to try to stay one step ahead of them. This can be difficult and exhausting, and not recommended, unless you feel you are being stalked by the sociopath. Being involved or around a sociopath for a long time, you will be able to see the patterns and can predict  some of their manipulation patterns and behaviors. Trying to stay one step ahead of the sociopath will eventually wreak havoc on your own sanity and health. So it is best to contact your local police department, let them be aware of the harassment. 

Most importantly DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT everything. Save emails, text, and record any phone calls, save any voice mails. You may need these things in order to file a protective order or restraining order against the sociopath, when they will not leave you alone. 

The sociopath will always have what seems to be a valid excuse to contact you. If you have children with the sociopath, the harassment you will get from the sociopath can cause stress, anger, frustration, depression, and even physical illness. Having children gives the sociopath a reason to contact you everyday.. Even though there is no reason to actually speak to your ex EVERY SINGLE DAY, the sociopath will find one – the children –

The sociopath is going to call, text and email just to bother you and annoy you most of the time. Sending text so minuscule like "Suzie has a dentist appointment today, and she is very scared of going" or "Bobby has a test in science and is worried he will fail". The strangest thing is when you speak with your children you will usually find out that Susie never went to the dentist. And bobby wasn't worried about a science test. The sociopath has no rhyme or reason why they send you text that are random and made up. It is just to disrupt your day. They hope you will respond, become upset (that your children are worried).

The sociopath loves keeping you on your toes and causing drama in your life. Even when you have moved on and they have moved on. They still want to bother you just because they can. They want to be able to feel that they have that control over you. They need to know that if they want to, they can disrupt your mind state, foil your plans, stress you out, cause chaos in your life, and control your emotions. 

They do this because they are disturbed people. They are desperate and pathetic. They do not realize what they are doing is harming their children emotionally. Most of the time the parent who is being harassed on a daily basis. Will feel anxiety and fear about having to deal with their ex spouse. They want to avoid the ex. Because of the constant contact and harassment. This affects the children, because they may not be able to see both parents as much. THE SOCIOPATH MAKES GETTING THE CHILDREN SO DIFFICULT, and So STRESSFUL. The other parent shuts down. They are emotionally drained after dealing with a psycho for so long. They even suffer from a form of Emotional PTSD. 

Once the sociopath sees that their ex is avoiding them. They will push even more. By be-littling, degrading, putting down, trying to instill shame and guilt about not being a good parent. How the children are embarrassed by their family and it is all that parents fault, because of the lack of co parenting. It is all a ploy to get control and to get that response. 

The best thing the parent who is being harassed can do is; do right by your children when they are with you. Know that you cannot control what the sociopath does. Taking the sociopath to court will only make the situation worse. Sociopaths are able to work the legal system and you will probably lose that battle. So don't take them to court unless you feel the children are being physically or sexually abused. Do the best you can for your children when they are in your care. DO NOT EVER speak negatively of the sociopathic parent. Just be the best parent you can be. 

AND ABOVE ALL IGNORE THE SOCIOPATH, CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IF YOU MUST. 

**NEVER ALLOW THE SOCIOPATH TO AFFECT YOUR LIFE, IT IS HARD BUT IF YOU MAINTAIN NO CONTACT THEN THEY ARE BASICALLY HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THEMSELF EVERYTIME THEY CALL AND LEAVE A MESSAGE Or TEXT YOU 

STALKERS

Stalkers are disturbed people. They do not consider the rights of others. They violate boundaries, the cause problems, the inflict fear on their victims. They intentionally do malicious things to interfere in their victims life. 

Being stalked can be frightening and horrifying for the victim. The stalker has shown how unstable, and out of touch with reality they really are. So a person who is being stalked via; online, followed, harassed by text messages, phone calls, threats, showing up to their work or home, lying about the victim is very afraid of what the stalker is capable of doing to them next. So the victim lives in fear and after a while becomes withdrawn and can become very depressed. 

Stalkers have usually been involved in an intimate relationship with their victim. Stalkers will often stalk the new person in their victims life I.E. - the new girlfriend/wife, new boyfriend/husband. Often the stalker begins obsessing over their victim once they begin to lose control over them, even if the stalker is the one that has ended the relationship — that's how mentally screwed up stalkers are...  

A person who stalks former spouses or intimate partners, are often domineering and abusive to their partners during the relationship and use this domination as a way to bolster their own low self- esteem.

The stalker wants one thing CONTROL. They use the children to try to exert control over their ex. This gives them a feeling of power they can’t find anywhere else. They tried to control every aspect of their partner’s lives when the relationship was active and they continue to try to control their partner EVEN AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE has ENDED.. 

The stalkers worst fear is losing control over people over whom they use to have control over..

The stalker suffers from extreme mental instability and personality disorders. Anti-Social personality disorders such as borderline, sociopathic, narcissistic, histrionic, and psychopathic. These individuals are emotionally immature, extremely jealous, insecure, have low self-esteem . 

These people have a distorted view of reality. They feel they have the right to control someone just because they use to be in a 'relationship'. They want to be in control. They feel that their ex (especially if children are involved) are endowed to them for the rest of their life - simply because they share kids. When the individual refuses to let their stalking ex control them – the stalker uses the children in order to gain back control. 

Victims have no choice but to establish NO CONTACT - because of the stalkers consistent harassment, lies and guilt trips, the victim must find a 3rd party to communicate between themselves and the stalker. 

Stalkers are desperate people. They use any means necessary to be in control of their victim. And unfortunately no matter how hard the victim ignores and continues to establish the "No Contact" rule – the stalker will still attempt to communicate and text and call the victim. The children are a great excuse for the stalker to remain in constant contact. The stalker will make lies, such as telling the victim "one of the children is sick or been diagnosed with a rare disease" or "one of the children need counseling, therapy, a psychiatrist" because of the victims refusal to cooperate with the sick stalker. 

This can lead to life long problems and difficulties for the victim, and also the children who are being pushed and pulled into the chaos by the disorder, unstable stalker...

PSYCHOPATHS

Psychopaths are very similar to sociopaths. Both do not have a functional conscience. Both wreak havoc on the lives of their family members. 

Psychopaths are more organized and have more self control than the sociopath. Psychopaths are usually more intelligent than the sociopath. While the sociopath embellishes their professional life and education - convincing others that they are some sort of 'genius'. Psychopath are usually very intelligent, and do not have to boast or lie about their intelligence. They are usually above average intelligence (from my own personal observation)

Psychopaths often have charming personalities. They say what their “victim” wants to hear, in order to gain trust. The manipulation is covert. They have learned to mimic emotion, so they usually appear “normal” to other people. 

Psychopaths are often educated and hold steady jobs.  Some are so good at manipulation and mimicry that they can have families and other long-term relationships. The people who the psychopath considers to be close to them, usually have no idea they are dealing with a psychopath. They know something is just “not right”. The psychopath is so good at deflecting, blaming, projecting, and twisting a situation when confronted. The normal person feels they are the problem, not the psychopath. 

The mental and emotional abuse that the psychopath inflicts on their victims can be permanent. 

After the relationship is over, the victim will need therapy to understand wahh has happened to them, and to be able to get their life back. 

The psychopath leaves their victim(s) in ruins — financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and sometimes even physically. 

The Sociopath has the Most Dysfunctional Family

Abusive people love to blame and frame. They never admit or take responsibility. They would actually mean that they would have to have a conscience.. And that is one of the many things that they lack. 

People usually confess or accept responsibility because they feel remorse and guilt. A sociopath never feels remorse or guilt. They do not even know what remorse and guilt feels like. They are so disconnected emotionally from others and from having emotional connections with other people. They view others as objects to be used. If you don't have anything that the sociopath wants - you are no use to them. They will probably leave you alone. Unless you do something to piss them off - then you are their target and they will attempt to destroy your existence..

But the question I have always wondered then is; Why do sociopaths get into relationships? 

My guess would be for "status". They want to appear as the perfect mommy or amazing father and husband. It's all about making others think they are perfect and better than anyone else. They will paint a picture of success and having the perfect family. But only the people who live under the same roof as them - know all to well that everything is far from perfect... Behind the fake toothy smile is the most dysfunctional family dynamic. Which usually include emotional abuse, physical abuse, lying, cheating, neglect and misery...

Sociopath - let them destroy themselves

To some degree, let them be the destroyer, but keep evidence along the way, so long as it’s not causing you physical or emotional harm.  However, when things get out of hand, let them know in no uncertain terms what evidence you have on them, because at the end of the day all they are doing is digging themselves an even bigger grave to put themselves in. Having said that, it’s not as if they need one, because they died (emotionally) a long time ago.

When you have finally had enough of their stupid games, make it very clear that you have been careful enough to have collected evidence on them and give them the shovel. Trust that like all good sociopaths, they will get caught eventually from their own stupidity, and will end up digging their own graves.

Revenge obsession occurs when the obsessive ex wants his/her partner to punished. With a sociopath, they are probably responsible for the relationships fall out. They are cheaters, liars, and professional scammers. Even knowing they are liars and cheaters they still become obsessed with causing their ex more pain. Although the obsessed ex may not be in love with their partner anymore, they want to make sure he or she is just as miserable as they are....

They will even want to punish anyone their ex moves on with. Like a new girlfriend/boyfriend. They will do everything they can to cause problem for their ex in order to destroy the relationship. Even if the sociopath has moved in with their own life, and has remarried. They still will harass, bother and stalk their ex, and in extreme cases they will stalk their exes new love interest, go on a smear campaign about their exes new lover, husband/ wife. 

They hope the drama, the character assassination, the stalking, the crazy behavior will scare the new love off. It takes a strong person, who is secure with who they are to not want to leave. Because the sociopath will project on that person everything they can to break them down. They will accuse their exes new love interest of being the "stalker". They will play victim. They will use the kids to manipulate. They will alienate the children from the other (non-sociopathic) parent. They tell the children lies about their other parent. Ex. - Your dad cares about his new family and doesn't care about us anymore. {keep in mind, the children have NO IDEA, why the relationship ended}. The sociopath has convinced the non-sociopathic parent to not tell the children why the relationship ended. **Not because they are concerned for the children's welfare. But because they do not want their children to know they were at fault.

This way they can tell the children "their version" of why “mommy and daddy” aren't together anymore. It's VERY IMPORTANT for the non-sociopathic parent to NEVER talk negatively about the other (sociopathic) parent to the children.  Even IF the Sociopathic parent is bad mouthing the other parent. The children will figure things out on their own. They will see, as they get older that one the one parent trash talks the other parent (and the other parents new wife/husband every chance they get. They will realize that the (non-disordered) parent has never spoken negatively about the other parent (the disordered parent). 

The children are not stupid, and they become more aware of what is really happening as they get older. The sociopath loses the control over their ex, as the children grow up. This is frustrating for the sociopath, so it's then when the sociopath feels they must use more extreme methods of manipulation. Ex. - When my daughter became older, the demands from my sociopathic ex became more frequent, and more outlandish. Her text messaging and calling became so bad that it interfered in with my work. Since neither my ex wife or her new husband have jobs, they are dependent on my ex wife's mother to give them money monthly and also on my $3000 monthly child support to pay their bills. So I always assumed eventually she would 
back off. NOPE. It only became worse, when I got my daughter a phone to communicate with her. So I didn't have to deal with my ex wife. Everything my ex said was a lie, she did things for malicious reasons only.  Telling me to pick my child up on Sunday at 5pm, then I would get there at 5pm and no one would be home.  My home is 30 minutes away from her home. So by the time I got to her house sat there for 30 minutes, I would text to let her know I was there to pick up. She would respond "oh we are in town getting this or that we will be there in 15 minutes". Needless to say 15 minutes into 45 minutes and they would still not be there. So I would eventually drive back to my house which is 30 minutes away. As soon as I would get home, my phone would begin ringing and it was my ex-wife asking me “where are you, Suzie is ready to see her dad". 

(The sociopaths version is the DISHONEST version)

Sociopaths are KNOWN FOR accusing others for things they are doing themselves. Example - If a sociopath is on a smear campaign, they will accuse the real victim of trying to "ruin there reputation", destroying their character. The sociopath will  accuse their target of stalking them.  

*RED FLAG* - The sociopath do whatever is necessary to humiliate their “TARGET” aka 
(the person they are stalking)

*** WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE CONTINUOUSLY RANTING ONLINE ABOUT  {Firstname} {Lastname} being a “CYBER TROLL” “BULLY” or “STALKER”,  going on to tell others (especially using social media) that “they are scared for their children's safety” (they love using innocent children to get pity from others.)  The sociopath is likely to accuse the person of being “mentally unstable” “dangerous” “jealous of them” “insecure”. They want to vilify the real victim, before their victim talks, so they use these kind of humiliating tactics to discredit, and destroy the real victim.

*** Notice a person calling someone a cyber troll, bully, or stalker  - Is the character assassin. The RED FLAG  that the person accusing another is when they chose to use the Other persons First and Last Name. It IS DEFAMATION, CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, AND SLANDER.

The classic symptom of someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopathic, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Anti-Social Personality Disorder is how they are “Always the Victim”

{If you are confused about who is telling the truth, check out the other persons social media (especially their blogs). Look to see if the other person has used First and Last Names (like the accuser is doing), look to see if the person is name calling and slandering, (like the accuser has)}

 If you see the person who is being accused - is not using name calling with humiliating words such as "cyber troll" or "stalker"

Then you can assume that the person being accused is actually the victim and the accuser is the sociopath, just trying to destroy another life... With no remorse or guilt for all the pain they cause..