Healing from the pain

Healing from there pain a sociopath has caused is difficult. It is not impossible though. The reason healing can be so hard, is because the sociopath gives us no closure, and they are more than likely still tormenting us with harassment and smear campaigns.

  

The emotional abuse from a psychopath/sociopath and narcissist is debilitating, devastating and takes a toll on your heart and soul. The sociopath is so vindictive and hateful. They inflict so much damage because it is hard wired in their brains to be evil, to lie, to manipulate and to destroy others. Psychopaths have significant molecular differences in ther brain. They are without a conscious, and have no feelings of remorse, guilt, empathy or genuine love. They are abusively exploitative and incapable of true love or intimacy. They are self centered, impulsive, reckless, aggressive and irritable. They never will take any responsibility for the actions, and believe they are immune to consequences. Don't think back about the "good time" that you had with the sociopath. It was all a lie. The sociopath gets a rush from destroying human hearts and lives. The worst of it all is that they pretend to care. They are able to show as if they have empathy. When they have none..

So how do we heal from this?

The first thing we can do is forgive ourself. Be kind to ourself and love ourself. We were betrayed and it was not our fault. In order to heal we have to HAVE NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN WITH THE PSYCHOPATH. Revenge is not possible. It may sound good to picture in your mind the sociopath suffering the way you have suffered. Trying to get revenge will only make healing more difficult. Because when we are focused on revenge. We are no longer focused on ourselves. We cannot move on when we are still thinking about the sociopath. Remember the sociopath/psychopath has no conscious and feelings. You will not be able to hurt them emotionally. It will only trigger them to cause more problems in your life. 

What you really want is for the psychopath/sociopath to leave you alone. Yes they caused you pain, financial problems, and wasted so much of your life. That is the past and it can't be changed. What can be changed is you. You can't allow the sociopath to continue to hurt you. The only way that can happen, is if you walk away and never look back. No contact is so important because it puts the sociopath in the position of no longer having any control of your life. They know how their words can be powerful and convincing. So cutting off any and all contact will be beneficial to you. 

You owe the sociopath Nothing... If you have to change your phone number then do it. Avoid the sociopath at all cost. 

You are human. The sociopath/psychopath is not. They may look like a human being but they do not manifest any human being traits. Such as love and empathy. Care and concern for the well being of others.

 

In order to truly heal and move forward with your life, detachment is necessary. Detach ourself from the disordered person. You may feel so devastated that you will want to isolate and be alone. That is ok... As long as it is not for a long period of time. The sooner you get back out there. The sooner  you will start the healing process. 

We will do a lot of questioning, and try to figure out what we did to deserve this. The fact is we did nothing to deserve it. The sociopath has done this before and will do it again. There is nothing you did to cause them to treat you this way. 

Repair what is broken - force yourself to take back control of your life. Realize that no one can take away your soul. It is yours and yours alone. Start making goals. Find what inspires you. What do you love? What can you do to be a better person and live a fulfilling life? You have survived a sociopath. That is not easy to do. You know you have strength and wisdom to do whatever you set your mind to do. Healing from the abuse and betrayal you have experienced, is a chance to really learn about yourself, and to grow emotionally. You will go through many stages while healing. You will learn more about yourself than you ever have before. 

When you feel like giving up and like things couldn't be worse. It's always to remember — this to shall pass...

In moments if despair, know you are not alone. You are supported. There are others who have gone through the exact same thing you have. See how they made it through this horrific experience. Talk with people who can understand what you are going through,  because they too have been there and can understand. People who have not been through this will have a difficult time understanding how one person can be responsible for all your troubles. Their intentions may be good, but their advice usually doesn't help you heal.  

Healing comes from within you and time. Time heals all. Once the sociopath is out of your life, you will find your true self. You have to look for it though. Sometimes it is something we cannot do alone. When you are feeling hopeless and depressed and just can't seem to get out of being "stuck". It's ok to seek professional help, especially from someone who is educated about how a sociopath destroys lives. Just because you needed to seek counseling or therapy doesn't make you weak. The fact that you have realized that you are stuck and unable to move forward, and you are stepping out of your comfort zone and seeking help shows you have determination and strength. You are dedicated to living a happy life no matter what. 

Trust yourself after the sociopath

The power and control a sociopath can have on you is devastating. Even after the relationship is over, you are left confused, depressed, angry, and alone. You probably did not get closure with the sociopath, and you never will. You must accept that you will not get closure. The sociopath has no concern for you. The more you ask the sociopath why he/she hurt you. The more the sociopath hates you, and feels they need to destroy you. 

You first have to admit that someone you loved is a monster. You have to face this emotionally painful experience. You will need to grieve and have the right to grieve. You were in a relationship you thought was real. You were in love. You believed this person loved you as well.  THE SOCIOPATH NEVER LOVED YOU THOUGH. The relationship YOU thought you had was NOT REAL. It was a game to the sociopath. Understand that it is not your fault. You are not unlovable. You are not flawed. The sociopath is a very sick person. Their brain is more primal than human. You are a loving, caring, person and that is why the sociopath chose you. They see kindness, generosity, and love as a weakness. They take advantage of trusting and good people. 

The sociopath is not capable of loving anyone. They are not able to receive love from others as well...

First and foremost you must be aware that if you feel you are in danger of being physically harmed by this person get the police involved and ask for a restraining order. Your safety is the most important thing to focus on. The sociopath is capable of anything. Without a conscious, and any morals or ethics, they are unpredictable and dangerous.

Trust Yourself.

It's important that you trust yourself. The sociopath has been covertly abusing you to believe that you are not smart enough, god enough, and they don't really need you. They are able to sense vulnerablities, then use those against you. They will always try to make you doubt yourself. The will try to twist and turn the truth, by making you out to be the bad guy. Another way they will try to make you doubt yourself is through lying. They are skilled at lying and they lie so much that they often start to believe their own lies. Sociopaths are known for "gas lighting." This is a form of abuse that is very subtle and can render the victim to feel unstable and insecure. 

Sociopaths portray themselves as something that they are not. They will pretend to be a do-gooder. They pretend they care, and act like they always want to help, they do not want to help and they sure don't care.  They will try to make you look crazy while they pretend they are worried about you. They tell others how they are "concerned" for you. When they are actually spreading lies and rumors. 

That's why you must trust your own intuition and you cannot doubt yourself. The sociopath tries to make you feel like you are the "crazy" one. You are not crazy. 

TRUST YOURSELF. KNOW THAT IT IS THE SOCIOPATH WHO IS ALL SCREWED UP.  It not you, it really is them..

Remember the sociopath always has a hidden agenda — they want to control and dominate others. It makes them feel powerful. The more people they control, the more delusional they become. 

Dealing with the sociopath, you are going to need confidence. You have to stay strong, and not let them manipulate your emotions.  Your self respect and confidence will need to be solid. You must know who you are. The sociopath will plant seeds of doubt, making you doubt eveything about yourself. 

Having knowledge about sociopaths, and how they operate. Will help you to survive one. You need to educate yourself on how to deal with a sociopath. When you realize that you are in a relationship with a sociopathic person, and you attempt to get out of that relationship, the sociopath will set out to destroy you (if they haven't started destroying you already). Sociopaths did not get into the relationship because they loved you and thought you were their soulmate. They get in the relationship because they think they can con you long enough to get what they want out of you, then they leave. They usually start with destroying your credit. You will find that there are credit card and loans that have been taken out in your name, that you knew nothing about. Once you confront a sociopath about this, they become enraged – “how dare you confront them!” They will use every trick they have up their rotten sleeve to lie, lie, lie and deny, deny, deny. Even when you present them with evidence of what they have done, they will still make excuses and refuse to accept responsibility. 

Have a Strong Sense of Self 

Having strong morals and a secure sense of self is also needed for your survival. Once the sociopath decides that you have fulfilled your purpose for them, they will discard you like yesterday's newspaper. The sociopath doesn't just get rid of you, they first need to silence you. They make up disgusting lies, and false accusations about you. They socially destroy you, which isolates you from society, because people either believe their lies, or you feel so insecure and broken down you fear going out because you are afraid of what the sociopath has said about you. The sociopath is ruthless and doesn't think twice about how they are mentally and emotionally destroying you. They could not care less.

It is impossible to ever get closure from the sociopath. You will waste time and energy trying. The sociopath drains so much out of you, that you cannot afford to waste any of your energy. Focus your energy on healing yourself from the traumatic experience of the sociopath. Doctors still do not fully understand why a sociopath is the way they are. 

There is NO cure for sociopathy. A sociopath never changes. They never feel bad for all the lives they destroy. They are evil. The worst kind of evil, because they are disguising themselves as “good”.

The sociopath has feelings of envy, and will attempt to sabotage or destroy another person for having an attribute or a possession she/he lacks, such as youth, beauty, money, and success.