The lies, rumors and pain that come with a sociopath

 When we have been abused, betrayed, lied to, cheated on, had rumors spread about us, lost friends, felt isolated, been afraid, lost everything, doubted ourselves, felt guilty, believed it was our fault - more than likely we were in a relationship with a sociopath. Or we were friends, or have a sociopathic family member.  

Once we discovered the truth, and realized we are not the only victim of this person, who had some how destroyed our life, our soul, and left us with little to no trust in the world. We are able to begin healing from the traumatic experience. Healing takes time. We are weak, alone, afraid, and don't know who we can trust.

The hardest part of healing is feeling safe and facing the world. 

We want to withdraw, because the sociopath has said so many horrible things about us, we feel shame. AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SOCIOPATH WANTS US TO FEEL. 

When my sociopath spread rumors about me all over town — to my child's  school, to my neighbors, to people who i respected in the community. I was afraid to leave the house. I was afraid of what others were thinking about me. What lies had my sociopath told everyone? And did anyone believe those lies. My sociopath alread had a reputation in town for stealing, and abusing drugs and sleeping around, so why would people believe the lies that were being  spread?

I felt that people would rather believe the bad they have heard about you - rather than the good. It seems people don't go around talking about the good about you. But they will go around talking about anything bad about you - even if it's not true.

For a while I felt isolated from the world. I did not want to leave my home. 

Even though the people who knew me, knew the hardships I had been through with this sociopath. They new that this person was very dangerous and hated me for moving on with my life. The sociopath wanted and still wants to hurt me, and make my life unbearable. I'm not sure why.. Boredom, or because I moved on and found someone who loves me for me and we were happy. 

What I have noticed is that all Sociopaths are jealous of everyone. 

Since there is nothing real authentic and genuine about the sociopath, and they don't understand or care to understand emotions. They just see everyone as a conquest, or threat. Not as humans, who feel pain. There is not much "humanness" in a sociopath.. And when they get done with you, you may feel they stole some part of your humanness.

A close friend of mine has been dealing with a vindictive female sociopath.  It is his ex wife. He has been divorced from the sociopath for over 9 years and separated for over 14. She had numerous affairs after they adopted their 2nd child. Finally after one of the affairs became very public due to the fact the man she was cheating with was married, and they both held prominant careers in the community, he filed for divorce. He has been through hell and back. This is his story, in his words...

  

When I went no contact and chose to ignore my sociopath, that's when things got very ugly. I refused 

to communicate with the ex. So my ex decided to tell everyone, and put it on social media that i was a "cyber stalking troll". Even using my first and last name to slander me. My ex made up a fake domain site in my name. Pretending to be me, and impersonating me in an unfavorable manner.  Basically painting a picture of a very unstable person, that was trying to get help for my mental problems. The worst part was if you googled my name, the website that my ex started about me was the first thing that came up. That is  when I said “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”

I contacted a friend of mine who is a police officer. And I ask what could be done about this website that my ex started about and was impersonating me in such a way. It was slander and defamation.

My friend informed me that it was cyber stalking, and I should file a police report. — so I did 

that. 

Which only made my ex crazier. Although the website was taken down, I was now being

accused of more horrific things. Now my sociopath ex wife was going to social media, claiming how she felt afraid for her children, because I was unstable, she believed I would kidnap them at a soccer game or from school. This was horrible because I felt afraid to go to my sons soccer game, because I didn't know what she would do or say, she had went to Facebook, and Twitter pretending to be living a life of fear because of me. 

What I began to notice was a pattern. She may have went to social media bashing me, but she expected me to pick up kids on my weekend. This is when I realized how unstable and deranged she was. She was only looking to ruin my reputation in the community, she still expected me to get the kids (even though she claimed she was in fear for their safety) 

I felt confused. I wanted to get my children. But with the unpredictable ex, I didn't know if I was being set up. Was I going to show up at the school to get my children, and the cops would be waiting to arrest me? Would my kids even be there, considering she loved leading me on wild gooses chases just to waste my time and make things difficult on me? 

I decided my children were worth whatever risk. And after all I had filed a complaint against her for impersonation and cyber stalking (which set her off to go on a rampant on social media) Bit it was still documentation, if my ex had something sinister planned. I remember so many times going to pick them up, feeling so much anxiety. Anxiety and fear consumed me. This woman had no limits and would not hesitate to destroy me, my new wife, and even my step daughter, who was at the time very little (5 years old). Sociopaths are so low, they will destroy children (even their own) just to hurt another person. 

I wondered if this crap would ever stop. I felt hopeless... I began to stop looking online, and begin to focus only on myself my children and healing. It was very tempting to want to get online and see what my ex was saying now.but I never did. I gave it a good eight months before I looked at anything my ex was doing online. I still do not look up my ex'a online activity. 

The OBSESSED Narcissist

The narcissist has a difficult time knowing what is real, and what is a delusional that they made up in their crazy minds..

As a DSM-IV trait, the narcissisit's need to fend off inner emptiness, feel special and in control, and avoid feeling defective. The narcissist can become so delusional that they are bordering on a fine line between their own delusions and what is actually real.  

As unhealthy this is for the narcissist, it is even more unhealthy for people in he narcissist life. And it usually will turn into to gaslighting for the narcissistic individuals family members. It causes them confusion, frustration, and delusional thinking...

A person trying to end a relationship or cut ties with a narcissist has a difficult doing so, because the narcissist becomes the person you always wanted them to be. Nice..but it is all an act... To get you to take them back so they can control and treat you like crap again. 

The narcissistic person becomes obsessed with their partner when the partner is not responding, and trying to have no contact. They are obsessed with getting the  CONTROL, they once had back. They can't stand the fact that someone has actually rejected them. Especially their partner, who they have viewed as weak and pathetic. They will not like the fact that you have made a good and healthy decision for yourself - which was to no longer be a part of their dysfunction! 

When the relationship is over, the narcissist can actually do become dangerously obsessed with their ex-partner.  

After failed attempts to get their ex back, the disordered narcissist will resort to stalking, destroying property, verbal attacks, ridiculous demands, and obsessive calling, emailing and obsessively text messaging. 

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder confuse the intensity they feel with intimacy. They do not know how to have healthy, loving, and intimate relationships. 

Being in a narcissistic relationship is painful. Narcissist cheat, lie and treat their partners as if they mean nothing to them.  The relationship is built around infidelity, the narcissist huge EGO and control. 

(The narcissist can also be jealous and fear losing control but it has more to do with maintaining their narcissistic supply source)

The fact is, that there are some people who are just unable to mentally “let go” of their partner after a break up — especially if there were children as a result from the relationship.

It is difficult to end a relationship with narcissist. The narcissist will keep calling, keep visiting, keep arguing and trying to reconcile. All while still having sex with other people. THE NARCISSIST NEVER CHANGES, THEY WILL ONLY PRETEND TO BE WHAT YOU WANT UNTIL THEY GET THAT CONTROL BACK.

The non-disordered person may take the narcissist back a few times before they realize that nothing will ever become better. 

Once you end the relationship for GOOD with the narcissist, you may be followed, stalked, threatened, put downed, and called nasty names by your ex. 

When left unaddressed, in extreme cases the disordered Narcissist becomes obsessed  and it may progress to the point that they will use the children to get their ex to respond, and if those tactics don't work they may threaten to hurt the children. 

Narcissist manipulate their ex by using the children. But when that DOES NOT work. The narcissist becomes desperate and angry - they are willing to do whatever they must to make contact with their ex.  

The narcissist knows their ex loves the children, then the disordered person will attempt to hurt their ex by hurting the children. 

In extreme cases they will actually cause harm to their children. Even kidnapping the child (children) from school or by refusing to return the child after their visitation is up. 

Narcissist and Sociopaths have very many similiar traits. The sociopath is usually more ruthless in their tactics to gain control or get what they want.

They put others down - to make them look better

Sociopaths think that in order to make themselves look better, they must make others look bad. Sociopaths boost their egos by putting others down. The confident and arrogant act the sociopath, is just that — An Act.. They are actually self-centered individuals. The feel greed, rage, and jealousy.                             

They want what they don't have. They are not grateful for the things that they do have. They are always jealous of family members, such as a sister or brother, their own mother, any step or half siblings. Sociopath can even become jealous of their own children – if the child shines brighter than the sociopath. 

Sociopath usually befriend people that they think they can dominate - i.e. – caring, empathic people, nice guys. Basically anyone who has a good conscience and is not confrontational.  

The Nice Guy - Nice guys are easy targets for the female sociopath. They are  easy prey for the sociopath. The relationship will start out with the sociopath being nice. Always telling you how sweet and nice you are. As the relationship goes on, she will randomly be nasty and mean. Pretty soon the nastiness and mean performances become more frequent. Before you know it you are trapped in a negative, unloving, and exploitive life. While the sociopath disappears for days at a time. Leaving you to care for any children and household responsibilities. If the sociopath works – don't expect her to put any of her money in the bankin account and contribute to the house bills. She becomes ruthless and cold toward you. But she has ripped your self worth into shreds, so much so – you don't have the strength to confront her anymore. 

Female sociopaths are just as predatory as the male sociopath. They are just more covert about how they destroy you.

All sociopaths have a lifelong history of lying, manipulating, using, ending relationships abruptly - without any warning, distorts facts, shows no remorse, use children to manipulate, vilifying victims, does not get along with family members, always is in conflict with someone and always the victim. 

Sociopathic individuals do horrible things, destroy lives and families. They feel no remorse for anything they do. They leave a trail of shit behind them, expecting someone else to clean it up. They cheat, they lie, they abuse and they use the innocence of children to exploit others. 

They are the worst people in the world. They are capable of killing, although most never do. They kill your spirit and slaughter you emotionally but they won't physically kill you- usually. There of course is always exceptions