When the narcissistic sociopath is a parent...

Toxic parents who abuse their partners and children are some of the darkest, and most evil people in our world. They are the most evolutionary caustic types  of human beings on the planet, if they can really even considered to be human at all...

Truly, as parental figures, such people with a known propensity for sociopathic traits and Malignant Narcissism should never be encouraged to breed.

Unfortunately though, they feel they must have children and a husband/wife in order to blend in with the world. They paint a picture to the world as the perfect all American family. When they are anything but that. But their goal is to appear as normal as possible to the world. They fear being exposed for the monster that they really are.

When sociopaths and narcissist decide to start a family and bring innocent children in the world, they do this for ALL the wrong reasons. Their intentions are not good. They only want the children as pawns to manipulate situations.

I am really referring to the female sociopath/narcissist.  Because having children makes people assume you are maternal and as a mother and caretaker of a small innocent child, the women is less likely to get exposed for the evil that she is. And she is also able to gain more sympathy from others with the children. Since she always will have a poor poor pitiful me story to tell everyone.

The female narcissist/sociopath is the most evil of evil, because she  gets away with abusing, manipulating and hurting for so long, because having children she is less likely to be suspected of being such an evil vindictive individual. 

She has a only evil reasons for wanting children so badly.

First off she needs these children to manipulate others with them. If she is married she manipulate her husband with them. If she is divorced, she uses the children to manipulate her ex husband, and control his life. She will attempt to get as much money as possible out of him for the children. Child support will not ever be enough for her. She will ask for money for this and that for the children. And the money never is spent on what the children. The ex husband will usually have to end up getting the children all the things that they need. Although the sociopathic mother said she needed money for it, she never uses any of the money on the children. She will control the ex husbands life with the children. This makes it hard to find love again. The female sociopath loves to waste the time of others. When it is the fathers time with his kids. She will hide them from him, sending him on a wild goose chase for hours until enough of his time is wasted then she will finally be available so that he can get them from her.
I witnessed a sociopathic mother do this to her ex husband for years. He was to pick them up at her home at 5 on Fridays. But when he arrived at 5, the children were not there. She would tell him they went with a friend to go look at kittens somewhere or play in the park, but to come back in an hour and they would be back. The father would come back in an hour. The children were still not home, and she always had an excuse, like they decided to get ice cream they will be back soon. So the father could wait in driveway awkwardly or go to grocery store and get some food and things for him and the kids for the weekend. When he would return around 7, no one would be at the sociopathic mother’s house. He would call her, and she would say that he took so long they decided to get something to eat. He would ask her if he could just pick them up at the restaurant they were at. She would say no. She would say come back at 9. So he has just wasted 4 hours trying to pick up his children. Finally when he would come back at 9. They would be home. And of course each kid (there were 2, a boy around 8 and and a girl around 12) they would have friends with them.

The sociopathic mother never told him about friends being with them, ask if that was ok. But at 9pm he was to good of a person to not allow the children’s friends to come with him. So she basically wasted his entire evening with his children and when he finally got them, they had friends over that he was going to have to care for as well.

He would also have to get the kids bags together. They stayed with him until Tuesday so he would have to get their backpacks for school and school clothes.

The sociopathic mother would intentionally take out certain items that she knew the kids would need for school or need in general, just to inconvenience her ex husband and waste more of his time. 

This is just one true example of how things were when this loving father would try to pick his children up on Friday. And how the female sociopath would make it so hard for him to do this.
This only what she did to him when he was trying to see and get his children. She did much worse than this. He never knew what she would do to make life hell for him next. But he was a smart man, so he was always expecting something.

She made everything miserable for him. Every birthday for the children was filled with her making it into drama. She would throw her own party for the kids (or actually her mother did all the work) And she also expected to be 100% in control of whatever the father had planned for the kids. And she expected him to pay for both.

It was hard for him to plan vacations to the beach with his children without her controlling every aspect of it. She would tell him last minute that the kids wanted to bring a friend with them to the beach. So his family beach vacation, turned into him having to watch his 2 children and his daughters 2 friend and the sons 1 friend. He didn’t say no, I will not do this because of the wrath that she would cause.

He basically lived life, trying to just have a minute of peace. Which he got very little.

She not only manipulated him with the children. She manipulated her mother with them as well. Mainly to get money out of the mother. Which she would say was because their POS dad refused to give to her. Even though he had given her the money, then she collected money from the mother, but never spent it on the kids. The father always had to end up getting whatever it was she claimed they needed.
As if the $3500 a month child support was not enough.
It was not enough. 
Nothing would ever be enough for this evil woman 

Why did This man never take this evil vindictive woman to court and fight for custody? Because the fax was she was never taken care of the children when they were at a young age because she did not want to take care of children that were younger and not self-sufficient. She was a very selfish woman. But she was an attorney and she knew the law very well. And she knew how to manipulate the system and as most of you know it is very hard to beat a  this man never take this evil vindictive woman to court and fight for custody? Because the fact was she was never taking care of the children when they were at a young age because she did not want to take care of children that were young and not self-sufficient. She was a very selfish woman. But she was an attorney and she knew the law very well. And she knew how to manipulate the system and as most of you know it is very hard to beat and sociopath or narcissist in court.
 They are able to turn everything around on you making you look like the horrible parent.  They will make up lies and they will end up making it so they have even more power over you. And still collect your money at the same time.

Watching a parent lie and manipulate others is absolutely brutal for children of narcissistic and sociopathic parents to have to endure. Not only does it cause them unregulated amounts
of Social, EMOTIONAL, and PHYSICAL PAIN to see a villain succeed, it 
shakes their faith.

Never React but always Remember and Document

Being a victim of a sociopath, I have learned how destructive, cruel and damaging they can are to ones emotional, mental and physical health. Some may have noticed this blog NEVER uses any names to point out a specific sociopath. The blog authors name is not real. 
Why? Because I am not here to defame or character assassinate anyone. Not even a sociopath.

This blog is to help the victims of sociopaths, narcissist and other dark personalities better understand how these cruel individuals operate, so if one ever becomes targeted by a sociopath, one will know what they are up against. 

I learned the hard way... I reacted to every single false accusation being made up about me by the sociopath. Little did I know at the time, my reacting was what the sociopath wanted.
The sociopath relies on their victims emotions to bait them into their trap. Sociopaths do not have the emotions that genuine human beings have, such as guilt, shame, love, and hurt. 
They only feel anger, entitlement, hate, and revenge. 

The sociopath does covert things to the target, and makes it seem as if they are supported by others. The Internet is one of the sociopaths favorite new weapons of destruction. While the Internet is also used by amazing individuals to do good. It can also be used to hurt, destroy and defame innocent people. 
One way to know if one is being genuine or just attempting to destroy another person reputation is the use of names. Using a person first, last and even surname followed by hate accusation is a RED FLAG. 

When normal healthy minded people have a problem with a person, they maybe upset, but they don't set out to destroy their life and reputation. The sociopath will immediately begin to destroy a person with spreading embarrassing, harmful lies. They will make sure that when their targets name is googled or looked up via Internet, that the slander will appear on the first page. This harms one from employment and future employment. This makes the victim feel helpless, powerless and hated. That's the goal of the sociopath, to convince the target that they have people on their side, and are supported. When they usually are not. Any supporter who leave comments on the sociopath slander campaign, are usually left by the sociopaths other aliases. 

The best way to handle a sociopath who is determined to destroy you by spreading rumors to anyone who will listen is to NOT REACT. They are counting on you reacting emotionally. They will use your genuine against you. They now are able to say "look, I told you he/she was unstable". Although you are not unstable, you are human with human emotions that sociopath lacks. The sociopath will twist and manipulate your assumedly appropriate emotional reaction to make you look crazy, unstable and even dangerous. 

It is VERY DIFFICULT to NOT react to the awful things the sociopath is doing to you. But I am telling from personal  experience.  It is in your best to not react, but to document, document, document. Save everything. Because the sociopath will continue to do vicious things in order to get a reaction. They WILL eventually cross the line, and you will have everything you need to take legal action. It will show that you were harassed, stalked, slandered by the sociopathic person, and by not reacting they have nothing on you. 

The Sociopath uses projection to bully their victims

Sociopaths are Adult Bullies...

The have a particular hatred for anyone who can see through their deception and mask of deceit. They are the worst kind of bullies, because they aren't the big kid, openly picking on you so that others see it and you can ask for help. They take another approach to bully. They will launch a malicious personal attack on you. They will attack your credentials, qualifications, and your personality. They will tell others you suffer from a personality disorder, such a borderline or psychopathy.  They will tell people they think are important, hoping that those people will believe it and dismiss you. 

Sociopathic Bullies and Projection

Sociopathic bullies project their inadequacies, behaviors, and shortcomings onto other people to avoid facing up to their own inadequacy. They falsely accuse others of what they themselves are guilty of. This way they feel they distract and divert attention away from themselves and their own insecurities. Projection is achieved through critisim, blame and making false allegations, these allegations are actually admissions the sociopath is making  about themselves. 

Once you realize this, every accusation and critisim and lie that the sociopath makes toward you (or whoever their target is at the time) this is actually a revelation about who they are and what they have done.  This knowledge is good to have when you are the target of the sociopath. For instance – if the sociopathic bully accuses their target of cyber stalking, bullying their children, being a home wrecker, or being stupid. It is likely that the sociopath has committed these acts. They do not want others to figure out that they are cyber stalking, or physically stalking someone. The sociopath is a bully to their own children and also to other peoples children. Sociopaths are notorious for being promiscuous. They have no qualms about committing adultery or breaking up a family.  

But they do not want anyone to know about these indiscretions.... 

 

The sociopathic bully fears being exposed. That is why they point the finger and accuse others in a emotionally injuring way. If the sociopath thinks someone sees through there bullsh*t, and this person could expose them for who they really are. That person is a threat to the sociopath. 

The sociopath doesn't just target a person who sees through their crap. They also are bullying other targets for personal reasons. Sociopathic bullies usually have a few victims they are tormenting.  The goal of the sociopathic bully is to destroy the persons reputation, so that no one will believe the target when they speak up about being bullied or slandered. 

It is Highly likely that sociopathic bully is committing the same acts or has committed these acts against the person that they are making the accusation towards.

This is very important knowledge to have when you are dealing with a person who has psychopathic tendencies, or someone who fits the description of a personality disordered individual. 

When the sociopaths bullying and smear campaigning becomes apparent to other people, the sociopathic bully will play the “Mental Health Trap”. Claiming their target is “unstable” or “mentally ill” or has a “mental health problem”. 

  This allegation is a projection of the sociopaths own mental health issues, insecurities, and fear of being exposed. 

If this trap is being used on you, and it is damaging your career or your ability to find employment. You can take legal action against the sociopathic bully. You will have to assert “projection” as a defense against disciplinary action as a part of your legal proceedings.

Projection is a key feature in identifying a person who has a psychopathic or "cluster B" personality disorder.

It is a fact that when held accountable the psychopathic personality will accuse the person who is “unmasking” them of being the one with the “mental illness” or the one who has a personality disorder.

If you feel someone is targeting you. It's important to look closely at what they are saying about you and accusing you of. You will find that everything they accuse you of and slander you with, they in fact are guilty of doing.

Sociopath - let them destroy themselves

To some degree, let them be the destroyer, but keep evidence along the way, so long as it’s not causing you physical or emotional harm.  However, when things get out of hand, let them know in no uncertain terms what evidence you have on them, because at the end of the day all they are doing is digging themselves an even bigger grave to put themselves in. Having said that, it’s not as if they need one, because they died (emotionally) a long time ago.

When you have finally had enough of their stupid games, make it very clear that you have been careful enough to have collected evidence on them and give them the shovel. Trust that like all good sociopaths, they will get caught eventually from their own stupidity, and will end up digging their own graves.

Revenge obsession occurs when the obsessive ex wants his/her partner to punished. With a sociopath, they are probably responsible for the relationships fall out. They are cheaters, liars, and professional scammers. Even knowing they are liars and cheaters they still become obsessed with causing their ex more pain. Although the obsessed ex may not be in love with their partner anymore, they want to make sure he or she is just as miserable as they are....

They will even want to punish anyone their ex moves on with. Like a new girlfriend/boyfriend. They will do everything they can to cause problem for their ex in order to destroy the relationship. Even if the sociopath has moved in with their own life, and has remarried. They still will harass, bother and stalk their ex, and in extreme cases they will stalk their exes new love interest, go on a smear campaign about their exes new lover, husband/ wife. 

They hope the drama, the character assassination, the stalking, the crazy behavior will scare the new love off. It takes a strong person, who is secure with who they are to not want to leave. Because the sociopath will project on that person everything they can to break them down. They will accuse their exes new love interest of being the "stalker". They will play victim. They will use the kids to manipulate. They will alienate the children from the other (non-sociopathic) parent. They tell the children lies about their other parent. Ex. - Your dad cares about his new family and doesn't care about us anymore. {keep in mind, the children have NO IDEA, why the relationship ended}. The sociopath has convinced the non-sociopathic parent to not tell the children why the relationship ended. **Not because they are concerned for the children's welfare. But because they do not want their children to know they were at fault.

This way they can tell the children "their version" of why “mommy and daddy” aren't together anymore. It's VERY IMPORTANT for the non-sociopathic parent to NEVER talk negatively about the other (sociopathic) parent to the children.  Even IF the Sociopathic parent is bad mouthing the other parent. The children will figure things out on their own. They will see, as they get older that one the one parent trash talks the other parent (and the other parents new wife/husband every chance they get. They will realize that the (non-disordered) parent has never spoken negatively about the other parent (the disordered parent). 

The children are not stupid, and they become more aware of what is really happening as they get older. The sociopath loses the control over their ex, as the children grow up. This is frustrating for the sociopath, so it's then when the sociopath feels they must use more extreme methods of manipulation. Ex. - When my daughter became older, the demands from my sociopathic ex became more frequent, and more outlandish. Her text messaging and calling became so bad that it interfered in with my work. Since neither my ex wife or her new husband have jobs, they are dependent on my ex wife's mother to give them money monthly and also on my $3000 monthly child support to pay their bills. So I always assumed eventually she would 
back off. NOPE. It only became worse, when I got my daughter a phone to communicate with her. So I didn't have to deal with my ex wife. Everything my ex said was a lie, she did things for malicious reasons only.  Telling me to pick my child up on Sunday at 5pm, then I would get there at 5pm and no one would be home.  My home is 30 minutes away from her home. So by the time I got to her house sat there for 30 minutes, I would text to let her know I was there to pick up. She would respond "oh we are in town getting this or that we will be there in 15 minutes". Needless to say 15 minutes into 45 minutes and they would still not be there. So I would eventually drive back to my house which is 30 minutes away. As soon as I would get home, my phone would begin ringing and it was my ex-wife asking me “where are you, Suzie is ready to see her dad". 

(The sociopaths version is the DISHONEST version)

Sociopaths are KNOWN FOR accusing others for things they are doing themselves. Example - If a sociopath is on a smear campaign, they will accuse the real victim of trying to "ruin there reputation", destroying their character. The sociopath will  accuse their target of stalking them.  

*RED FLAG* - The sociopath do whatever is necessary to humiliate their “TARGET” aka 
(the person they are stalking)

*** WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE CONTINUOUSLY RANTING ONLINE ABOUT  {Firstname} {Lastname} being a “CYBER TROLL” “BULLY” or “STALKER”,  going on to tell others (especially using social media) that “they are scared for their children's safety” (they love using innocent children to get pity from others.)  The sociopath is likely to accuse the person of being “mentally unstable” “dangerous” “jealous of them” “insecure”. They want to vilify the real victim, before their victim talks, so they use these kind of humiliating tactics to discredit, and destroy the real victim.

*** Notice a person calling someone a cyber troll, bully, or stalker  - Is the character assassin. The RED FLAG  that the person accusing another is when they chose to use the Other persons First and Last Name. It IS DEFAMATION, CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, AND SLANDER.

The classic symptom of someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopathic, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Anti-Social Personality Disorder is how they are “Always the Victim”

{If you are confused about who is telling the truth, check out the other persons social media (especially their blogs). Look to see if the other person has used First and Last Names (like the accuser is doing), look to see if the person is name calling and slandering, (like the accuser has)}

 If you see the person who is being accused - is not using name calling with humiliating words such as "cyber troll" or "stalker"

Then you can assume that the person being accused is actually the victim and the accuser is the sociopath, just trying to destroy another life... With no remorse or guilt for all the pain they cause..