Never React but always Remember and Document

Being a victim of a sociopath, I have learned how destructive, cruel and damaging they can are to ones emotional, mental and physical health. Some may have noticed this blog NEVER uses any names to point out a specific sociopath. The blog authors name is not real. 
Why? Because I am not here to defame or character assassinate anyone. Not even a sociopath.

This blog is to help the victims of sociopaths, narcissist and other dark personalities better understand how these cruel individuals operate, so if one ever becomes targeted by a sociopath, one will know what they are up against. 

I learned the hard way... I reacted to every single false accusation being made up about me by the sociopath. Little did I know at the time, my reacting was what the sociopath wanted.
The sociopath relies on their victims emotions to bait them into their trap. Sociopaths do not have the emotions that genuine human beings have, such as guilt, shame, love, and hurt. 
They only feel anger, entitlement, hate, and revenge. 

The sociopath does covert things to the target, and makes it seem as if they are supported by others. The Internet is one of the sociopaths favorite new weapons of destruction. While the Internet is also used by amazing individuals to do good. It can also be used to hurt, destroy and defame innocent people. 
One way to know if one is being genuine or just attempting to destroy another person reputation is the use of names. Using a person first, last and even surname followed by hate accusation is a RED FLAG. 

When normal healthy minded people have a problem with a person, they maybe upset, but they don't set out to destroy their life and reputation. The sociopath will immediately begin to destroy a person with spreading embarrassing, harmful lies. They will make sure that when their targets name is googled or looked up via Internet, that the slander will appear on the first page. This harms one from employment and future employment. This makes the victim feel helpless, powerless and hated. That's the goal of the sociopath, to convince the target that they have people on their side, and are supported. When they usually are not. Any supporter who leave comments on the sociopath slander campaign, are usually left by the sociopaths other aliases. 

The best way to handle a sociopath who is determined to destroy you by spreading rumors to anyone who will listen is to NOT REACT. They are counting on you reacting emotionally. They will use your genuine against you. They now are able to say "look, I told you he/she was unstable". Although you are not unstable, you are human with human emotions that sociopath lacks. The sociopath will twist and manipulate your assumedly appropriate emotional reaction to make you look crazy, unstable and even dangerous. 

It is VERY DIFFICULT to NOT react to the awful things the sociopath is doing to you. But I am telling from personal  experience.  It is in your best to not react, but to document, document, document. Save everything. Because the sociopath will continue to do vicious things in order to get a reaction. They WILL eventually cross the line, and you will have everything you need to take legal action. It will show that you were harassed, stalked, slandered by the sociopathic person, and by not reacting they have nothing on you. 

The lies, rumors and pain that come with a sociopath

 When we have been abused, betrayed, lied to, cheated on, had rumors spread about us, lost friends, felt isolated, been afraid, lost everything, doubted ourselves, felt guilty, believed it was our fault - more than likely we were in a relationship with a sociopath. Or we were friends, or have a sociopathic family member.  

Once we discovered the truth, and realized we are not the only victim of this person, who had some how destroyed our life, our soul, and left us with little to no trust in the world. We are able to begin healing from the traumatic experience. Healing takes time. We are weak, alone, afraid, and don't know who we can trust.

The hardest part of healing is feeling safe and facing the world. 

We want to withdraw, because the sociopath has said so many horrible things about us, we feel shame. AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SOCIOPATH WANTS US TO FEEL. 

When my sociopath spread rumors about me all over town — to my child's  school, to my neighbors, to people who i respected in the community. I was afraid to leave the house. I was afraid of what others were thinking about me. What lies had my sociopath told everyone? And did anyone believe those lies. My sociopath alread had a reputation in town for stealing, and abusing drugs and sleeping around, so why would people believe the lies that were being  spread?

I felt that people would rather believe the bad they have heard about you - rather than the good. It seems people don't go around talking about the good about you. But they will go around talking about anything bad about you - even if it's not true.

For a while I felt isolated from the world. I did not want to leave my home. 

Even though the people who knew me, knew the hardships I had been through with this sociopath. They new that this person was very dangerous and hated me for moving on with my life. The sociopath wanted and still wants to hurt me, and make my life unbearable. I'm not sure why.. Boredom, or because I moved on and found someone who loves me for me and we were happy. 

What I have noticed is that all Sociopaths are jealous of everyone. 

Since there is nothing real authentic and genuine about the sociopath, and they don't understand or care to understand emotions. They just see everyone as a conquest, or threat. Not as humans, who feel pain. There is not much "humanness" in a sociopath.. And when they get done with you, you may feel they stole some part of your humanness.

A close friend of mine has been dealing with a vindictive female sociopath.  It is his ex wife. He has been divorced from the sociopath for over 9 years and separated for over 14. She had numerous affairs after they adopted their 2nd child. Finally after one of the affairs became very public due to the fact the man she was cheating with was married, and they both held prominant careers in the community, he filed for divorce. He has been through hell and back. This is his story, in his words...

  

When I went no contact and chose to ignore my sociopath, that's when things got very ugly. I refused 

to communicate with the ex. So my ex decided to tell everyone, and put it on social media that i was a "cyber stalking troll". Even using my first and last name to slander me. My ex made up a fake domain site in my name. Pretending to be me, and impersonating me in an unfavorable manner.  Basically painting a picture of a very unstable person, that was trying to get help for my mental problems. The worst part was if you googled my name, the website that my ex started about me was the first thing that came up. That is  when I said “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”

I contacted a friend of mine who is a police officer. And I ask what could be done about this website that my ex started about and was impersonating me in such a way. It was slander and defamation.

My friend informed me that it was cyber stalking, and I should file a police report. — so I did 

that. 

Which only made my ex crazier. Although the website was taken down, I was now being

accused of more horrific things. Now my sociopath ex wife was going to social media, claiming how she felt afraid for her children, because I was unstable, she believed I would kidnap them at a soccer game or from school. This was horrible because I felt afraid to go to my sons soccer game, because I didn't know what she would do or say, she had went to Facebook, and Twitter pretending to be living a life of fear because of me. 

What I began to notice was a pattern. She may have went to social media bashing me, but she expected me to pick up kids on my weekend. This is when I realized how unstable and deranged she was. She was only looking to ruin my reputation in the community, she still expected me to get the kids (even though she claimed she was in fear for their safety) 

I felt confused. I wanted to get my children. But with the unpredictable ex, I didn't know if I was being set up. Was I going to show up at the school to get my children, and the cops would be waiting to arrest me? Would my kids even be there, considering she loved leading me on wild gooses chases just to waste my time and make things difficult on me? 

I decided my children were worth whatever risk. And after all I had filed a complaint against her for impersonation and cyber stalking (which set her off to go on a rampant on social media) Bit it was still documentation, if my ex had something sinister planned. I remember so many times going to pick them up, feeling so much anxiety. Anxiety and fear consumed me. This woman had no limits and would not hesitate to destroy me, my new wife, and even my step daughter, who was at the time very little (5 years old). Sociopaths are so low, they will destroy children (even their own) just to hurt another person. 

I wondered if this crap would ever stop. I felt hopeless... I began to stop looking online, and begin to focus only on myself my children and healing. It was very tempting to want to get online and see what my ex was saying now.but I never did. I gave it a good eight months before I looked at anything my ex was doing online. I still do not look up my ex'a online activity. 

Traits of a Victim

Being a victim of a malicious sociopath is devastating. Surviving the after math of the sociopath is even more so.. 

Usually the victim is so broken and beaten down by the sociopath, once the sociopath has drained the life and finances out of their target, they dispose of them like garbage. Leaving their victim confused, depressed, and without any closure. 

The victim must become the survivor

In order to heal from the devastation of a sociopath. The victim must cut off any and all contact from the sociopath, the hope that they will ever get closure, and any desire to get revenge on the sociopath. 

After the pain and hurt is gone, it is quickly replaced with anger. It's important to not live in denial of what happened, but more important to let go of the anger towards the sociopath. This means not seeking revenge in any form. Any revenge on the sociopath will probably blow up in your face. The sociopath is a skilled con artist and an excellent liar. They have been using and abusing people their whole life. Hurting others comes as natural as breathing to a sociopath. It's hard wired in their brains to manipulate, lie and cheat in order to get what they want. They do not have a functioning conscience, so any pain they inflict onto any living thing will not cause them to lose sleep at night 

I came across this website -sociopathicstyle.com 

They define the "traits of a victim" as

 

• A belief that if you love enough the person will change
• A belief that if you love enough the relationship will succeed
• Difficulty establishing and maintaining boundaries
• Not being able to say no
• Being easily influenced by others
• Wanting to be rescued from your life situation
• Wanting to rescue others from their distress
• Being over (sic) nurturing particularly when not asked
• Feelings of shame and self doubt
• Low self esteem
• A lack of memories about childhood or periods of adulthood
• Shyness
• Difficulty communicating
• A lack of self confidence
• Wanting to please
• A lack of motivation from within and being motivated by what others want

You can decide to be a Survivor. You do not have to be a victim forever. It's being able learn from your mistakes. And become the person you are destined to be. The sociopath always tries to steal what you have, the light in your eyes... They do not have a light in their eyes like you, that is why they have to take yours. 

You must get the sociopath out of your life, and any other toxic people that are draining your energy, time, finances, and life out of you. 

Cut off all communication

Sociopaths use children as a cover for their manipulative and obsessed behavior.  Stalking and harassment can be done under the guise of "necessary" contact for visitation, etc.  Outsiders assume that the Sociopaths behavior is "normal" or "necessary" because of child contact, and so outsiders do not understand or recognize the way that the sociopath is manipulating their children's father. The non-sociopathic parent is victimized by excessive, unnecessary, harassing contact.

The sociopath will want to have contact with the parent of their children. NOT BECAUSE IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN.  But because it's how they stalk, control and make your life hell. So when the children are older and the non-sociopathic parent tries to establish contact with only the children - the sociopathic parent will become angry. Because if the parent can communicate with the children verses her - she is losing control. And sociopaths fear losing control. So she will insist you must communicate only thru her. DONT GIVE IN TO THAT. If your children are at an age where they can communicate with you - then by all means communicate with them only and cut off ALL contact with the sociopath. Despite her threats, and attempts to hold control over you. Know that she cannot control you once the children have reached a certain age.  

Sociopaths will try to make life hell for you. Not only will they make your life hell. They will target your new wife or husband as well. They target your new spouse because of the jealousy they feel towards them. Once you moved on and decided to remarry or become involved in a serious relationship, the sociopathic realized that you are no longer concerned with them. The new person in your life means that they will not be able to control you for much longer. So what do they do? They target the new person in your life, hoping to make life as miserable as possible for them – in hopes that the person will leave you. 

The sociopath may or may not want you back. But the reason that they run off or try to run off any body that you maybe come involved with. Is because that person poses as a threat to the sociopath. The sociopath loves control and fears losing control. The sociopath  will do whatever they can in order to stay in control. You and your significant other may have to go through years of hard times, drama and stress. But if you stay strong and you refuse to allow the sociopath to interfere in your lives and cut off all contact. Your relationship will be not be damaged by the sociopath. 

The sociopath cannot get away with their tactics forever. Always remember that. They will be exposed eventually... Whether it's when they're 45 years old or when they are 75. They will be exposed. One thing to look forward to is knowing that the sociopath will eventually die. They live a reckless lifestyle, most abuse drugs. So their survival rate is usually not good 

No contact

No contact is the only way to go when dealing with a sociopathic predator. It does not matter if you have children with this predator. You will need to find a third-party to communicate between the two of you. A sociopath is a master manipulator and would do anything to manipulate you, lie to you and continue to cause harm to you. By finding a third-party to communicate between the two of you the third-party will not be affected by the sociopaths lies. You will need to inform the third-party that the person is a sociopath and give them information on how to deal with the sociopathic person. Sometimes it is best to hire a lawyer or a trained professional to help you with this.

Of course the sociopath will lie to third-party communicator in an attempt to manipulate you and cause harm to you. That is why it is so important to give information on how the sociopath works.
Once the children have reached a certain age you will be able to communicate with your children and will no longer have to communicate with the sociopath. The sociopath will do anything to get your attention. They want to be in control. DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO BE. The sociopath will tell lies about the children. They will tell you one of the children has cancer, or one of the children is depressed and needs counseling. That's why it is important that you keep in communication with your children because the children will verify that they are not depressed or have cancer. The sociopath is so good at portraying something that feels real. It is so important to remember that everything is sociopaths says is a lie. When they tell the children something and the children tells you remember it is a lie.

The sociopath uses half-truths to make the lie seem more believable. It takes a while for a person to really understand the depth of evil in a sociopath. Some people can see right through the sociopath very quickly. They understand that the sociopath has nothing but evil intentions. They do not fall for any of the sociopaths crap, they do not believe a word the sociopath says, and they do not fall for the trap the sociopath has set.

If you have been fooled by a sociopath — do not feel bad. They are master manipulators and they
excel in lies and deception. Good and honest and kind people fall for the lies, empathic people fall for the guilt trip the sociopath makes. And there is nothing wrong with being a kind empathetic person.
Unfortunately the sociopath depends on the kind and empathetic people, in order to manipulate and deceive.

Anyone who has been targeted by the sociopath knows the destruction and damage that they can cause to another human being. The sociopath has no conscience, has no heart, and has no soul. They
use, they abuse, and they inflict pain on anyone who crosses their path. They have no kindness in their hearts because they have no heart. They are evil. You can never change the sociopath, they are
hardwired to be evil, bad, manipulative, and destructive.

You can't beat a sociopath but a BiGGER Sociopath can

Living well is the best revenge you can get on the sociopath...

Do not try to get the sociopath back for the harm they have caused you and your family. The truth is “NOTHING CAN OBSTRUCT THE WILL OF A SOCIOPATH”. You will fail if you are a normal person with a conscience. It's best to accept what happened to you and LEARN from it. But you must let it go. You are not going to get closure from a sociopath.

The reason we have a hard time letting go of the emotional harm that the sociopath causes is because they don't feel bad for what they did to us. They even continue to cause us more harm, well after they have slandered our name, stalked us, made us feel helpless and afraid. They are dangerous individuals.  Sociopaths are notorious for spreading lies, and attempting to destroy a person spirit, career, reputation, and life. 

The sociopathic predator turns on the charm, or plays the victim, and tries to convince everyone that you are mentally unstable. 

• The best way to deal with a sociopath is knowing the person is a sociopath. Which most people associate the word sociopath with killers, rapist and those who commit sadistic crimes. They do not think the blonde, blue eyed, soccer mom is a candidate. In this particular situation (involving a female sociopath) usually takes an intelligent person on the outside looking in at the situation to identify what is going on.

I will not sugar coat this any. Because I have been targeted by a sociopath and I know the pain they cause. I have done my research. I realize that most people don't understand what a sociopath is until they are the victim of one. The sociopath can be anyone, and once targeted by one, you are going to lose everything. 
The only thing that can beat a sociopath is a bigger sociopath/psychopath. This means- only a person who is more cold and calculated, more heartless, smarter, and more physically at an advantage, while also lacking any conscience can take the "everyday sociopath" down. (Do not go searching for a bigger sociopath to take your textbook sociopath down)  Yes your chances of defeating one yourself is slim. But you put yourself in more danger by searching for an befriending someone you think is worse than the current sociopath you are dealing with. If you are lucky the sociopath will eventually target the "wrong" person - being the "bigger sociopath".  That will be the sociopaths demise. 
You will not see the sociopath demise, especially if you have no contact with them. And that is fine. The only reason you might see the demise of your sociopath is if you share children with the sociopathic slut. Then you have no choice but to deal with the sociopath occasionally. Knowing that you cannot beat the sociopath, you will get the advantage of seeing her slow demise when she has targeted a bigger sociopath accidentally. The sociopath is a bully and will target many people in her life. Eventually she goes after the wrong person. Due to drug use, and aging she is not as strategic as she use to be. A sociopath will not admit that her life is shit and she is losing all control of things she once had a strong control over.
All of the sudden she is not in control anymore. She is somehow exposed for a majority of her fraudulent dealings. Her career is what the “bigger” sociopath goes after first. The bigger sociopath will not stop until her career is destroyed. (The bigger sociopath has connections and has contacted people in high places that have the power to shut her down). Then the bigger sociopath goes after her finances. The bigger sociopath will figure out where and who she is getting money from and contact those sources. Until she no longer is financially secure. The bigger sociopath doesn't care in the least the impact it has on her children or her way of living. (Remember the bigger sociopath IS IN FACT A SOCIOPATH AND HAS NO 
CONSCIENCE OR REMORSE). The bigger sociopath is doing to the everyday sociopath what he/she has done to you! The bigger sociopath will not stop until the little sociopath loses all power and control they once possessed.  The bigger sociopath is able to take the
 typical everyday sociopath down. But DO NOT FORGET THAT THEY ARE STILL A SOCIOPATH. AND YOUR SOCIOPATH MESSED WITH THE WRONG PERSON – a more horrible person than them.... But the bigger sociopath has targeted the innocent before, and they are not a hero.  They are just doing what they do. Someone targeted them and they are fighting back, and they will win. 
The every day sociopath has no idea why their luck has turned and who is targeting them. They do not know they just f*cked with the wrong person. Because the bigger sociopath is able to cover all their tracks and unable to be exposed or discovered 

I have actually seen this happen to a friend of mines ex wife.  She caused so much chaos and problems. Used the kids against him to hurt and manipulate him. She tried to assassinate his character, and would just tell lies about him to his childrens school.  He paid her whatever she wanted just to get her to leave him alone. Then all the sudden she was exposed from stealing from clients and family. It was like it all just started going down hill for her. She lost her job. Was even publicly humiliated by having her name on the front news of the paper. Rather it was for the money she was stealing from clients, or for the hot checks she was writing. It was in the paper for everyone to see.  My friend had nothing to do with his ex wife spiral downward. We have come to the conclusion she picked the wrong person to target. Now she is an unemployed loser, and every time she tries to come back and regain trust in the community – but is unsuccessful. I'm assume a bigger sociopath is responsible... 

That's karma —