Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Monsters Among Us

When most people hear the word psychopath or sociopath they most think of famous serial killers locked away in prison. However, most do not end up in prison or mental hospitals. Most sociopaths have the ability to blend in with everyone else.  They don't look like monsters. But "MONSTER" is exactly what they are... They are the worst kind of monster there is. Because they look as normal as you and I. But they are far from being like the rest of us. 
The worst is the female sociopath. She will reproduce a few offspring, act like a soccer mom, and portray to others this amazing mother, who is hard working and "doing it all" but behind the scenes she terrorizes her close family. And if she is divorced - she will never leave her ex alone as long as their are children in the picture to use against him. She is one of the most dangerous, vindictive, evil, malicious, heartless, and morally corrupted monster among us. She flys under the radar, committing petty crimes of theft and is clever and slick. She has probably been doing these things since she was a teenager. 

If you think the female sociopath is harmless -  THINK AGAIN! They do not pose a serious threat if you have no connection with her what so ever.  But if your child and her child are friends, that puts you at risk for becoming her target. Or she will view you as someone she can pawn off her child to. Because in reality, she loves to play "MOM OF THE YEAR" Role. But she is far from being a good or even decent mother.You would never even suspect she is the hideous monster that she is.

The female sociopath has a certain charisma and charm about her. Once you get to know her on a deeper level and you will start to see the "mask" slip. You will begin to notice that your friendship or 
relationship is not a give take relationship. You will find that you do a lot of giving and she does all the taking. There are inconsistencies in her stories. You feel something just "isn't right" but you can't figure out what it is..  Sociopaths are natural liars.. Lying comes as easy as breathing to them. But the lies start becoming more apparent to you, you notice the more in depth she tells you about something - the more likely it is a lie.  She is unreliable. She breaks promises, she disappears for long periods of time, no one really knows where goes. The closer you become to her is when you really start to see that things are not normal. She has a lack of empathy for others and you will start to notice that she lacks remorse - even for her children, parents and siblings. She has no life long friends. Her past is skeptical. She tells you what she wants you to think about her life. She will say what she a straight "A" student, popular, and homecoming queen and voted "most likely to succeed".  And it is far from the truth. She more than likely was in trouble majority of time she was in high school. If she had wealthy 
parents, they more than likely sent her away to military/boarding 
school. Because of her defiance at home. Her parents were unable to 
deal with her.  You will notice how everything is always someone else's fault, and that she is the victim of someone.. She blames her mother, and absent father, and her ex husbands (who she cheated on and tried to destroyed). 

Unfortunately by the time to you realize you may be dealing with this evil  monster, dressed In women's clothing.  ITS TOO LATE. And you never saw it coming. You don't know exactly what happened but your life is turned upside down.  And the sociopath has to silence you somehow, so that you do not tell others about the true monstrosity that she really is. 
So she goes on a smear campaign. She has to silence you and kill you. She won't kill you physically. She kills you emotionally and mentally.  She will torment you in covert, evil, ways. She will even make you question yourself, thinking "maybe this is my fault" she will make you question your own sanity. ITS SO IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, SHE IS INSANE, SHE IS THE DEVIL INCARNATE.  She wants you to feel like you are the crazy one. She will have no remorse about ruining your life. No matter how much you have done for her. No matter
 how kind you have been to her.  She doesn't give a shit about the pain she causes, in fact your 
suffering is what fuels her energy. She loves to watch you squirm. She enjoys watching you fall apart. 

She starts off by destroying you socially and tarnishing your reputation. She will make up any lie she can, no matter how disgusting the lies may be, she doesn't care. As long as you are silenced. She wants to discredit you to everyone so that no one will listen to you. She will get to all your friends before you can. She will call your work. She will claim you are stalking, harassing have been abusing her. When in fact the very things she is accusing you of doing to her - she is doing to you.

Recovering from being a victim of a sociopath takes time. You need supportive people around you. And to cut off all contact from the sociopath. When you try to have no contact with her, she will try even harder to get any response from you. Be strong though. Don't be a victim.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Warning Signs of a Psychopath

Warning Signs of a Psychopath

Hervey M. Cleckly was a psychiatrist and a pioneer in the field of psychopathy; the following are his 16 indicators of a psychopath:
  • Considerable superficial charm and average or above average intelligence
  • Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking
  • Absence of anxiety or other "neurotic" symptoms considerable poise, calmness, and verbal facility
  • Unreliability, disregard for obligations no sense of responsibility, in matters of little and great import.
  • Untruthfulness and insincerity
  • Antisocial behavior which is inadequately motivated and poorly planned, seeming to stem from an inexplicable impulsiveness.
  • Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior
  • Poor judgment and failure to learn from experience
  • Pathological egocentricity - total self-centeredness, incapacity for real love and attachment
  • No deep or lasting emotions
  • Lack of any true insight, complete inability to see themselves as others do
  • Ingratitude for any special considerations, act of kindness, and trust
  • Fantastic and objectionable behavior, after drinking and sometimes even when not drinking--vulgarity, rudeness, quick mood shifts, pranks
  • No history of genuine suicide attempts
  • An impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated sex life
  • Failure to have a life plan and to live in any ordered way, unless it is one promoting self-defeat
Mental health professionals often use the Hare Psychopathy Checklist in order to asses psychopathy:
Factor 1: Personality "Aggressive narcissism"
  • Glibness/superficial charm
  • Grandiose sense of self-worth
  • Pathological lying
  • Cunning/manipulative (Manipulation is their trademark)
  • Lack of remorse or guilt (They are often capable of violence)
  • Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric)
  • Callous/lack of empathy
  • Failure to accept responsibility for own actions (Whatever the problem is, it is always someone else’s fault)
Factor 2: Case history "Socially deviant lifestyle"
  • Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
  • Parasitic lifestyle (They constantly take from others, and give nothing in return; money, love, time, etc.)
  • Poor behavioral control
  • Lack of realistic long-term goals
  • Impulsivity
  • Irresponsibility
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Early behavior problems
  • Revocation of conditional release
To put it in plain terms, these people do not have a conscious or feelings, they wreak havoc in the lives of everyone within their reach (their parents, children, friends, etc.), and they constantly burn bridges and screw up opportunities in their lives.
To make matters worse, they are often heavy drinkers, they often have a criminal past and violent behavior, and they usually minimize or rationalize their shortcomings.
They often claim they do not care about what other people think about them because it is more important what a person thinks about oneself - this may be true, but this is NOT their real reason, in reality, psychopaths simply do not have the capacity to care about anyone else’s thoughts and feelings.

Serial Bully

The serial Bully - Narcissist - Sociopath

  • is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
  • has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act
  • excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive
  • uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
  • is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance
  • is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict
  • is often described as smoothslippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic
  • relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon
  • is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly
  • cannot be trusted or relied upon
  • fails to fulfil commitments
  • is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
  • is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy
  • exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse
  • in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy
  • holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret
  • is self-opinionated and displays arroganceaudacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability
  • has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion
  • is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity
  • displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence
  • shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water
  • flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation
  • refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer
  • is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability
  • undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask
  • is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them
  • is quick to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors
  • may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta
  • is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account
  • gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to
  • is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt)
  • poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions
  • when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
  • is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all
  • often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others
  • is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation
  • is mean-spiritedofficious, and often unbelievably petty
  • is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy
  • is greedy, selfish, parasite and an emotional vampire
  • is always a taker and never a giver
  • is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)
  • often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus
  • often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself
  • knows the words but not the song
  • is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication
  • sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic

Monday, November 18, 2013

What Doesn't Work With a Sociopath

The sociopath is still playing the game. She is hell bent on carrying out smear campaigns against you, ruining your reputations with business associates, friends and even your close family. They will financially, socially, and emotionally stop at nothing, until you are destroyed. They gain too much pleasure from seeing you destroyed. This is just how a sociopath operates. They do not know how to end a relationship like "normal" people. This is what separates "THEM" from "US".

What Really DOES NOT work (and will make things worse)

Showing at any time, how upset you are, and how his/her actions are affecting you. The sociopath is looking for emotion. Is looking to control you. Is looking for reaction.

Do NOT give emotion/reaction anything. By doing so, this motivates the sociopath to destroy those emotions (you are still living), so the game continues

Do not respond to contact

Do not write a personal blog about them, and mention them by name

Do not write how you are feeling over social networks

Do not engage with the Sociopath in any way at all BLOCK ALL CONTACT

Do not talk to, or confide in people who are mutual friends. Only confide in people that you trust

Do not expect other people to understand. Unless they are trained psychologists, they won’t understand

When you respond, in anyway at all, you are feeding the Sociopath further Narcissistic Supply. 

This is what they want. It makes them feel good.

Remember that they are the expert liars, and experts at being manipulative and deceptive – NOT YOU!

You need to stop playing the game. Each time you respond. Each time to give a reaction, you are playing the game.

The sociopath likes two things
1. Winning
2. Being in Control

Take away those two things. The Sociopath will get bored eventually. Has he/she not taken enough?

What Can You Do?

-Use the law to control the Sociopath. Each time something happens, call the police!

*Keep evidence of EVERYTHING*

***Keep calling the police***

Contact a local DV unit in your area, to ensure that you get support (Google or your phone directory for domestic violent services in your area) find someone else who is trained has experience to help you with this – A DV worker offer support and help you to obtain an injunction order. This is harassment, there are legal remedies against harassment

Find victim support groups, and talk to others who really do understand.
The Sociopath is NOT the person to ask to stop the behaviour (he/she likely won’t)

ONLY spend time and confide in those people who you trust. Remember that the Sociopath is likely spreading lies about you, saying how ‘crazy and obsessed’ you are. REMOVE yourself from this, even if only temporarily

Withdraw from ‘mutual friends’ so that the Sociopath is unable to use third party people to continue the abuse (whilst looking like an angel and you looking like the nut job) SOCIOPATHS LOVE TO VILIFY THEIR VICTIMS -- this is one of their specialties  

Remember that this will NOT go on forever

By responding you are giving the Sociopath supply

Only legal remedies will stop the Sociopath – they will not listen to begging, pleading any of this, in fact this can make things worse

Remove yourself. Stop focusing on the Sociopaths behaviour. Instead focus on you

Do NOT. I repeat DO NOT respond in anyway. When you respond with tears, begging, pleads to stop. You are simply giving the Sociopath exactly what they want.

Please stop playing the game with the Sociopath. Yes I know that this is affecting YOUR life. It is. If someone was at you with a knife and terrorising you… who do you think would help you more? The Psycho, or the Police and third party services who could offer support?

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Female sociopaths are more dangerous than males

Male sociopaths are dangerous, but female sociopaths are even more dangerous. Our society has more protections available for female sociopaths than the males ones due to traditional norms held by society. Generally, women are viewed as nurturers, caregivers, compassionate, and the primary pillars holding up their families. However, in reality, there are a lot of women that fail to meet those standards. They get joy from breaking down others, playing mind games to deteriorate a person’s sense of worth or get people to join their mission. These women are treacherous, remorseless, 
leeches, narcissistic, and lack the ability to emotionally connect with others. Thus, making them a danger to their significant other (or husband), children and anyone of their targets (or projects). Dr. Robert D. Hare, a psychopath expert and an author ofWithout Conscience The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us, “believes that about 1% of the population fits the profile of [sociopath], 
and male [sociopaths] are 7 times more common than female [sociopaths].

Female Sociopaths are much more subtle, covert, and manipulative than their male counter parts. They wouldn't dare pick another sociopath as a partner. They prefer men who are kind, compassionate, forgiving, and have the ability to feel guilt. They choose someone that is stable and hardworking, so that they forgive their affairs, or so that they can use their children as pawns against them the rest of their life to get what they want - money, bills paid, etc... Basically the father will be taking care of the children, and the mother wants the status quo of "wonderful doting mommy" while she does nothing.

Healthy, real relationships are built on mutual respect and trust; they are based on sharing honest thoughts and feelings. The reason the sociopath is so dangerous because she Is able to convince you that you are being in an honest thoughtful and genuine relationship, for as long as she must until it's yo late.. Then when you realize what you are dealing with and what has happened you are so confused, so scattered, trying yo put together the pieces, she is tying up any loose ends to destroy your creditability you may use against her..

Dr. Hare goes on to say that the psychopathic bond can take place very quickly, sometimes within hours. That means it could happen over coffee, drinks, in a business meeting or, as Dr. Hare mentions, on a cross-country airplane trip.

The abandonment phase begins when the psychopath decides that their victim is no longer useful. They abandon their vicim and move on to someone else. In the case of romantic relationshps, a psychopath will usually seal a relationship with their next target before abandoning their current victim. Abandonment can happen quickly and can occur without the current victim knowing that the psychopath was looking for someone new. There will be no apologies for the hurt and pain they cause because psychopaths do not appreciate these emotions.