Narcissist and Sociopaths are Bullies, pretending to be victims

The sociopathic personality will always justify their behavior..

The sociopath and the narcissist behaves like a child. They may look like full grown adults, but when they do not get their way, they turn into large hateful children.

They take NO responsibility for their actions. They are so shallow and self absorbed that they do not wonder if something they said or did caused a person pain or hurt. The narcissist simply does not care enough about the feelings of others to waste any of their "precious" time pondering about the way another person may feel. Just like the narcissist, the sociopath does not care about the way another person feels. The sociopaths thoughts are very narrowly focused on how to control by means of deception and guilt. If the victim has come to the realization that this is how this particular person operates, and the victim stops falling for the guilt trips, and refuses to be berated and put down. The sociopath will penalize the victim by other vicious methods. Such as spreading lies that will potentially damage the victims credibility and reputation within their community or circle of friends.

The sociopath is notorious for following the latest fads, and media concerns... For example: Bullying. The sociopath is a vindictive, ruthless tyrant, BULLY.

For example - the sociopath I was dealing with observed how “bullying” was getting a lot of media attention. She saw how many people were outraged and had compassion for kids who were being bullied at school, or other places. So when she went on her smear campaign against me, she went to social media, accusing me of being a bully. An adult bully, nonetheless... 

As all sociopaths do, she saw something that knew would elicit pity from normal and kind people. Sociopaths are so good at what they do, because they are able to play such a convincing victim. 

The sociopath used my first and last name, because she wanted people to hate me. It's just part of the game the sociopaths play when they want to destroy you. They always start with your reputation, and turning others agains you. 

This happened before I understood how sociopaths worked. So of course I fell into every trap that the sociopath baited. 

What I realized eventually (after the drama had cooled down) - THAT EVERYTHING the sociopath WAS ACCUSING ME OF BEING, DOING, AND SAYING. Those were all things that she was actually doing to me. I was almost able to predict what she may do next to destroy, by her accusations alone. 

The problem was... At that time, everything she was doing, was done in such a covert and subtle way, I felt powerless to speak up for myself. I was very afraid to defend myself, or do anything else to bring attention to the situation, because like every other time I had tried to defend my character, she would somehow turn it around, making me look like the “big bad mean bully" again. 

When dealing with a sociopath who is hell bent on destroying you, you have a fear inside you, and a dread of what they may do next. All you really want is the slander, lies and defamation of your character to stop. 

I knew that going to social media (as the sociopath had done) to defend myself, was what she wanted. So she could turn herself into “my” victim again. All I wanted was it to STOP.  

SOCIAL MEDIA - That is where these types of people (sociopaths, narcissists) are able to do the most damage. The Internet is just one of the the sociopaths arsenal of weapons that they use to break down, destroy and slander their victim. 

Sociopaths can be whoever they want to be online. They are rarely anonymous.. 

They will make up dozens of false identities, so when they are bashing their target and making false accusations, they can use of their other identities to “back” them up. So when the target looks at what the sociopath is saying, and sees that there are people who are siding with the sociopath, it makes the victim feel powerless and helpless. The sociopaths goal is to shut the victim up. 

The best advice I can give to someone that is having this happen to them, is document, copy and save everything that the sociopath is saying. If you ignore them long enough, the attacks will become more brutal. They want you to respond. They will become desperate for a response and then that is where they cross the line. Once that line is crossed, you should be able to contact local law enforcement. If their defamation is affecting your job, or livelihood, they can be held accountable legally.  

It is very important that you DO NOT RESPOND TO THEM, or go back in forth with them. Even though this will be hard to do, especially when you are under attack. 

The sociopath is an ADULT BULLY.  Anyone who has known them (family) already knows this. It doesnt take long for people to get burned and abused by the sociopath, to realize they are dealing with an unstable person, and they distance themselves. Sociopaths bully their family members, their spouse, their friends, anyone who they percieve as a threat to them.  For example - Anyone who sees through their crap and could possibly expose them. 

Female sociopaths are very similiar to their male counterpart.. The female sociopath just goes about it in a much more vindictive and malicious manner  - ESPECIALLY TO OTHER FEMALES THAT THEY ARE JEALOUS Of. For example: A woman who is younger, more attractive, and successful. The female sociopath seeks to destroy this kind of woman because of PURE ENVY. Sociopath may give us the impression that they are cool, confident and collect. But the truth is, they are jealous, insecure and hateful. 

The sociopath has been a bully since adolescence. They are manipulative and hateful. The sociopath will basically bully anyone who stands up to their acts of emotional cruelty, or does not do as they say.  Since the sociopath loves attention, rather it be negative or positive, they will pretend as if they are the poor innocent victim. I know this from first hand experience.

It was about 5 years ago when I did not understand the person I was dealing with was a narcissistic sociopath. Of course in the end got royally f*cked by the sociopath. It has taken time to heal, but I am stronger, wiser and happier, now that the sociopath is out of my life and there is absolutely NO CONTACT between us.

Now I understand how the sociopath operates, and I know how to deal with a one if I had to. 

This knowledge gives me the power to “walk away” and not engage with people who are of a sociopathic nature or have sociopathic tendencies.

What I hope now, is to help others, by sharing my experience and what I have been through. I want people who feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and lost hope that they can ever be happy again to know THAT THERE IS HOPE. 

Knowledge is our best defense

More than likely if you are reding this, you have been or currently are a victim of a evil sociopath. I know, because I have also been targeted by a sociopath. My life was turned upside down, my self esteem was broken, and I became someone I did not even recognize anymore. 

When you are targeted by a sociopath you do not enter the relationship or friendship looking for the "red flags" of a sociopath. But after knowing the sociopath for a small time, you began noticing that something is just not right about the person. Unfortunatley by the time you realize what you are dealing with it is usually too late...

Knowledge is the best defense we can have against the sociopath. Living Well and Moving forward is the best revenge we can have on the sociopath. 

Most people initially feel hurt, confused and devastated after realizing the person they have been with for however long, was lying the entire relationship. After the hurt wears off some, Anger starts setting in. How dare them do this to us. We realize that they wasted a period of out lives that WE WILL NEVER GET BACK. So we want Revenge. But getting revenge on a person with No morals, No conscience and no limits to what they are capable of doing to you is not a good idea. 

Sociopaths are destructive. They will destroy anyone. And for no reason. Makes are NOT the only sociopaths out there. Females can be sociopaths as well – they are much harder to spot. They could be the soccer mom, PTA mom, they cause so much pain in lives and go undetected for years and years. 

The downward spiral of the female sociopath

There is the functional female sociopath (which is only functional or successful for a small amount of time - usually in her late 30's. When she hits 40 her bullshit no longer works on her victims and she has alienated most people in community and it's a downward spiral after that) 

The functional female sociopath is not outwardly violent. She is remorseless, clear-eyed and calculating, she is chameleonic in the extreme, puts on one mask after another, one feigned feeling after another (interest, concern, sympathy, simpering insecurity, confidence, arrogance, lust, even love) to get what she wants.

But none of these feelings are actually something she feels. She is imitating others and how she perceives others to act in different emotional situations. 

Behind closed doors — only her immediate family, spouse and her children see the real monster. The off the wall, crazy, belligerent, threatening, controlling, vile, spiteful, vindictive, obsessed and malicious person she really is. 

It's NOT a pretty picture. 

Why the Sociopath makes Life Hell...

No matter how you try to have NO COMMUNICATION with the sociopath, narcissist, psychopath. They will always still try to talk to you. They will stalk you online, send you text message (the first will be nice, as they are trying to get you to respond. After they realize your not going to respond to them — the text messages turn Hostile)

A sociopath will never stop trying to destroy you. Especially if you share children with them, or if you married their ex spouse, whom they share children with. Usually they are busy making their ex-spouses life hell. As soon as the ex-spouse of the sociopath remarries or gets in a serious relationship. The sociopath turns their focus and rage onto the ex-spouses new love.

Why does the sociopath do this? 

When the sociopath has ties to their Ex-spouse (such as children) the sociopath actually feels entitled to control their ex spouse forever by using the children against them. (This is more common in female sociopaths than the male) The female sociopath will see the new woman in her ex husband's life and children's life as a threat to her. She knows that her control of him may become harder, with his new wife's influence now on him. So she starts "damage control" as soon as she hears he is dating someone. She wants to destroy the relationship by either making life hell and hoping the new love in her ex spouses life will leave. Or by destroy her ex-husbands new love'a reputation. 

She will also make getting the children difficult, make everything 100 times as hard. She does this to make her ex husband see that everything was easier before he was in a new relationship. She will even say "we use to get along before you got married". The ex husband knows better. He remembers how she made his life miserable before he remarried. And they only got along when he gave her more money, and did what she told him to do. He basically paid her for peace. (The sociopath may seem delusional but she knows exactly what she is doing - she knows that she made life hell, before the new woman, and she is still making life hell now). 

The other reason the sociopath targets the ex- spouses new partner is JEALOUSY.  (This is also more common in female sociopaths than males)

The sociopath is jealous of her ex's new wife. Maybe she is younger, more ambitious, honest, the children like her, everyone seems to like her, and she makes the sociopaths ex happy. 

The sociopath does not want her ex to be happy. She has worked so hard for him to be miserable. Even when she was the cheater, liar, and the one who caused the demise of the marriage - and now she is even remarried to the man she was cheating with! It doesn't matter to the sociopath. She has no compassion for ANYONE. She has no conscience. She Never thinks about the pain she has inflicted on her children or her ex. She only thinks about the pain she wants to inflict. 

It takes a truly strong, confident, and secure person to deal with being the target of your husbands sociopathic ex wife. The sociopath will accuse you of being jealous of her, stalking her, being insecure, mentally unstable — basically everything she is. She is just projecting it onto you (the new wife of her ex)  because she knows how manipulative she is and sees the new wife as an easy target. Most genuinely good people have a hard time dealing with such abuse and exploitation. But all good people are not weak. They are strong. As long as you realize you are not dealing with a normal person, but a cold and cruel sociopath, and you have knowledge on these types of people. You will be better equip to handle it. 

Sociopath - let them destroy themselves

To some degree, let them be the destroyer, but keep evidence along the way, so long as it’s not causing you physical or emotional harm.  However, when things get out of hand, let them know in no uncertain terms what evidence you have on them, because at the end of the day all they are doing is digging themselves an even bigger grave to put themselves in. Having said that, it’s not as if they need one, because they died (emotionally) a long time ago.

When you have finally had enough of their stupid games, make it very clear that you have been careful enough to have collected evidence on them and give them the shovel. Trust that like all good sociopaths, they will get caught eventually from their own stupidity, and will end up digging their own graves.

Revenge obsession occurs when the obsessive ex wants his/her partner to punished. With a sociopath, they are probably responsible for the relationships fall out. They are cheaters, liars, and professional scammers. Even knowing they are liars and cheaters they still become obsessed with causing their ex more pain. Although the obsessed ex may not be in love with their partner anymore, they want to make sure he or she is just as miserable as they are....

They will even want to punish anyone their ex moves on with. Like a new girlfriend/boyfriend. They will do everything they can to cause problem for their ex in order to destroy the relationship. Even if the sociopath has moved in with their own life, and has remarried. They still will harass, bother and stalk their ex, and in extreme cases they will stalk their exes new love interest, go on a smear campaign about their exes new lover, husband/ wife. 

They hope the drama, the character assassination, the stalking, the crazy behavior will scare the new love off. It takes a strong person, who is secure with who they are to not want to leave. Because the sociopath will project on that person everything they can to break them down. They will accuse their exes new love interest of being the "stalker". They will play victim. They will use the kids to manipulate. They will alienate the children from the other (non-sociopathic) parent. They tell the children lies about their other parent. Ex. - Your dad cares about his new family and doesn't care about us anymore. {keep in mind, the children have NO IDEA, why the relationship ended}. The sociopath has convinced the non-sociopathic parent to not tell the children why the relationship ended. **Not because they are concerned for the children's welfare. But because they do not want their children to know they were at fault.

This way they can tell the children "their version" of why “mommy and daddy” aren't together anymore. It's VERY IMPORTANT for the non-sociopathic parent to NEVER talk negatively about the other (sociopathic) parent to the children.  Even IF the Sociopathic parent is bad mouthing the other parent. The children will figure things out on their own. They will see, as they get older that one the one parent trash talks the other parent (and the other parents new wife/husband every chance they get. They will realize that the (non-disordered) parent has never spoken negatively about the other parent (the disordered parent). 

The children are not stupid, and they become more aware of what is really happening as they get older. The sociopath loses the control over their ex, as the children grow up. This is frustrating for the sociopath, so it's then when the sociopath feels they must use more extreme methods of manipulation. Ex. - When my daughter became older, the demands from my sociopathic ex became more frequent, and more outlandish. Her text messaging and calling became so bad that it interfered in with my work. Since neither my ex wife or her new husband have jobs, they are dependent on my ex wife's mother to give them money monthly and also on my $3000 monthly child support to pay their bills. So I always assumed eventually she would 
back off. NOPE. It only became worse, when I got my daughter a phone to communicate with her. So I didn't have to deal with my ex wife. Everything my ex said was a lie, she did things for malicious reasons only.  Telling me to pick my child up on Sunday at 5pm, then I would get there at 5pm and no one would be home.  My home is 30 minutes away from her home. So by the time I got to her house sat there for 30 minutes, I would text to let her know I was there to pick up. She would respond "oh we are in town getting this or that we will be there in 15 minutes". Needless to say 15 minutes into 45 minutes and they would still not be there. So I would eventually drive back to my house which is 30 minutes away. As soon as I would get home, my phone would begin ringing and it was my ex-wife asking me “where are you, Suzie is ready to see her dad". 

(The sociopaths version is the DISHONEST version)

Sociopaths are KNOWN FOR accusing others for things they are doing themselves. Example - If a sociopath is on a smear campaign, they will accuse the real victim of trying to "ruin there reputation", destroying their character. The sociopath will  accuse their target of stalking them.  

*RED FLAG* - The sociopath do whatever is necessary to humiliate their “TARGET” aka 
(the person they are stalking)

*** WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE CONTINUOUSLY RANTING ONLINE ABOUT  {Firstname} {Lastname} being a “CYBER TROLL” “BULLY” or “STALKER”,  going on to tell others (especially using social media) that “they are scared for their children's safety” (they love using innocent children to get pity from others.)  The sociopath is likely to accuse the person of being “mentally unstable” “dangerous” “jealous of them” “insecure”. They want to vilify the real victim, before their victim talks, so they use these kind of humiliating tactics to discredit, and destroy the real victim.

*** Notice a person calling someone a cyber troll, bully, or stalker  - Is the character assassin. The RED FLAG  that the person accusing another is when they chose to use the Other persons First and Last Name. It IS DEFAMATION, CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, AND SLANDER.

The classic symptom of someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopathic, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Anti-Social Personality Disorder is how they are “Always the Victim”

{If you are confused about who is telling the truth, check out the other persons social media (especially their blogs). Look to see if the other person has used First and Last Names (like the accuser is doing), look to see if the person is name calling and slandering, (like the accuser has)}

 If you see the person who is being accused - is not using name calling with humiliating words such as "cyber troll" or "stalker"

Then you can assume that the person being accused is actually the victim and the accuser is the sociopath, just trying to destroy another life... With no remorse or guilt for all the pain they cause.. 

The Monsters Among Us

When most people hear the word psychopath or sociopath they most think of famous serial killers locked away in prison. However, most do not end up in prison or mental hospitals. Most sociopaths have the ability to blend in with everyone else.  They don't look like monsters. But "MONSTER" is exactly what they are... They are the worst kind of monster there is. Because they look as normal as you and I. But they are far from being like the rest of us. 
The worst is the female sociopath. She will reproduce a few offspring, act like a soccer mom, and portray to others this amazing mother, who is hard working and "doing it all" but behind the scenes she terrorizes her close family. And if she is divorced - she will never leave her ex alone as long as their are children in the picture to use against him. She is one of the most dangerous, vindictive, evil, malicious, heartless, and morally corrupted monster among us. She flys under the radar, committing petty crimes of theft and is clever and slick. She has probably been doing these things since she was a teenager. 

If you think the female sociopath is harmless -  THINK AGAIN! They do not pose a serious threat if you have no connection with her what so ever.  But if your child and her child are friends, that puts you at risk for becoming her target. Or she will view you as someone she can pawn off her child to. Because in reality, she loves to play "MOM OF THE YEAR" Role. But she is far from being a good or even decent mother.You would never even suspect she is the hideous monster that she is.

The female sociopath has a certain charisma and charm about her. Once you get to know her on a deeper level and you will start to see the "mask" slip. You will begin to notice that your friendship or 
relationship is not a give take relationship. You will find that you do a lot of giving and she does all the taking. There are inconsistencies in her stories. You feel something just "isn't right" but you can't figure out what it is..  Sociopaths are natural liars.. Lying comes as easy as breathing to them. But the lies start becoming more apparent to you, you notice the more in depth she tells you about something - the more likely it is a lie.  She is unreliable. She breaks promises, she disappears for long periods of time, no one really knows where goes. The closer you become to her is when you really start to see that things are not normal. She has a lack of empathy for others and you will start to notice that she lacks remorse - even for her children, parents and siblings. She has no life long friends. Her past is skeptical. She tells you what she wants you to think about her life. She will say what she a straight "A" student, popular, and homecoming queen and voted "most likely to succeed".  And it is far from the truth. She more than likely was in trouble majority of time she was in high school. If she had wealthy 
parents, they more than likely sent her away to military/boarding 
school. Because of her defiance at home. Her parents were unable to 
deal with her.  You will notice how everything is always someone else's fault, and that she is the victim of someone.. She blames her mother, and absent father, and her ex husbands (who she cheated on and tried to destroyed). 

Unfortunately by the time to you realize you may be dealing with this evil  monster, dressed In women's clothing.  ITS TOO LATE. And you never saw it coming. You don't know exactly what happened but your life is turned upside down.  And the sociopath has to silence you somehow, so that you do not tell others about the true monstrosity that she really is. 
So she goes on a smear campaign. She has to silence you and kill you. She won't kill you physically. She kills you emotionally and mentally.  She will torment you in covert, evil, ways. She will even make you question yourself, thinking "maybe this is my fault" she will make you question your own sanity. ITS SO IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, SHE IS INSANE, SHE IS THE DEVIL INCARNATE.  She wants you to feel like you are the crazy one. She will have no remorse about ruining your life. No matter how much you have done for her. No matter
 how kind you have been to her.  She doesn't give a shit about the pain she causes, in fact your 
suffering is what fuels her energy. She loves to watch you squirm. She enjoys watching you fall apart. 

She starts off by destroying you socially and tarnishing your reputation. She will make up any lie she can, no matter how disgusting the lies may be, she doesn't care. As long as you are silenced. She wants to discredit you to everyone so that no one will listen to you. She will get to all your friends before you can. She will call your work. She will claim you are stalking, harassing have been abusing her. When in fact the very things she is accusing you of doing to her - she is doing to you.

Recovering from being a victim of a sociopath takes time. You need supportive people around you. And to cut off all contact from the sociopath. When you try to have no contact with her, she will try even harder to get any response from you. Be strong though. Don't be a victim.
BE A SURVIVOR