Healing from the pain

Healing from there pain a sociopath has caused is difficult. It is not impossible though. The reason healing can be so hard, is because the sociopath gives us no closure, and they are more than likely still tormenting us with harassment and smear campaigns.

  

The emotional abuse from a psychopath/sociopath and narcissist is debilitating, devastating and takes a toll on your heart and soul. The sociopath is so vindictive and hateful. They inflict so much damage because it is hard wired in their brains to be evil, to lie, to manipulate and to destroy others. Psychopaths have significant molecular differences in ther brain. They are without a conscious, and have no feelings of remorse, guilt, empathy or genuine love. They are abusively exploitative and incapable of true love or intimacy. They are self centered, impulsive, reckless, aggressive and irritable. They never will take any responsibility for the actions, and believe they are immune to consequences. Don't think back about the "good time" that you had with the sociopath. It was all a lie. The sociopath gets a rush from destroying human hearts and lives. The worst of it all is that they pretend to care. They are able to show as if they have empathy. When they have none..

So how do we heal from this?

The first thing we can do is forgive ourself. Be kind to ourself and love ourself. We were betrayed and it was not our fault. In order to heal we have to HAVE NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN WITH THE PSYCHOPATH. Revenge is not possible. It may sound good to picture in your mind the sociopath suffering the way you have suffered. Trying to get revenge will only make healing more difficult. Because when we are focused on revenge. We are no longer focused on ourselves. We cannot move on when we are still thinking about the sociopath. Remember the sociopath/psychopath has no conscious and feelings. You will not be able to hurt them emotionally. It will only trigger them to cause more problems in your life. 

What you really want is for the psychopath/sociopath to leave you alone. Yes they caused you pain, financial problems, and wasted so much of your life. That is the past and it can't be changed. What can be changed is you. You can't allow the sociopath to continue to hurt you. The only way that can happen, is if you walk away and never look back. No contact is so important because it puts the sociopath in the position of no longer having any control of your life. They know how their words can be powerful and convincing. So cutting off any and all contact will be beneficial to you. 

You owe the sociopath Nothing... If you have to change your phone number then do it. Avoid the sociopath at all cost. 

You are human. The sociopath/psychopath is not. They may look like a human being but they do not manifest any human being traits. Such as love and empathy. Care and concern for the well being of others.

 

In order to truly heal and move forward with your life, detachment is necessary. Detach ourself from the disordered person. You may feel so devastated that you will want to isolate and be alone. That is ok... As long as it is not for a long period of time. The sooner you get back out there. The sooner  you will start the healing process. 

We will do a lot of questioning, and try to figure out what we did to deserve this. The fact is we did nothing to deserve it. The sociopath has done this before and will do it again. There is nothing you did to cause them to treat you this way. 

Repair what is broken - force yourself to take back control of your life. Realize that no one can take away your soul. It is yours and yours alone. Start making goals. Find what inspires you. What do you love? What can you do to be a better person and live a fulfilling life? You have survived a sociopath. That is not easy to do. You know you have strength and wisdom to do whatever you set your mind to do. Healing from the abuse and betrayal you have experienced, is a chance to really learn about yourself, and to grow emotionally. You will go through many stages while healing. You will learn more about yourself than you ever have before. 

When you feel like giving up and like things couldn't be worse. It's always to remember — this to shall pass...

In moments if despair, know you are not alone. You are supported. There are others who have gone through the exact same thing you have. See how they made it through this horrific experience. Talk with people who can understand what you are going through,  because they too have been there and can understand. People who have not been through this will have a difficult time understanding how one person can be responsible for all your troubles. Their intentions may be good, but their advice usually doesn't help you heal.  

Healing comes from within you and time. Time heals all. Once the sociopath is out of your life, you will find your true self. You have to look for it though. Sometimes it is something we cannot do alone. When you are feeling hopeless and depressed and just can't seem to get out of being "stuck". It's ok to seek professional help, especially from someone who is educated about how a sociopath destroys lives. Just because you needed to seek counseling or therapy doesn't make you weak. The fact that you have realized that you are stuck and unable to move forward, and you are stepping out of your comfort zone and seeking help shows you have determination and strength. You are dedicated to living a happy life no matter what. 

STALKERS

Stalkers are disturbed people. They do not consider the rights of others. They violate boundaries, the cause problems, the inflict fear on their victims. They intentionally do malicious things to interfere in their victims life. 

Being stalked can be frightening and horrifying for the victim. The stalker has shown how unstable, and out of touch with reality they really are. So a person who is being stalked via; online, followed, harassed by text messages, phone calls, threats, showing up to their work or home, lying about the victim is very afraid of what the stalker is capable of doing to them next. So the victim lives in fear and after a while becomes withdrawn and can become very depressed. 

Stalkers have usually been involved in an intimate relationship with their victim. Stalkers will often stalk the new person in their victims life I.E. - the new girlfriend/wife, new boyfriend/husband. Often the stalker begins obsessing over their victim once they begin to lose control over them, even if the stalker is the one that has ended the relationship — that's how mentally screwed up stalkers are...  

A person who stalks former spouses or intimate partners, are often domineering and abusive to their partners during the relationship and use this domination as a way to bolster their own low self- esteem.

The stalker wants one thing CONTROL. They use the children to try to exert control over their ex. This gives them a feeling of power they can’t find anywhere else. They tried to control every aspect of their partner’s lives when the relationship was active and they continue to try to control their partner EVEN AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE has ENDED.. 

The stalkers worst fear is losing control over people over whom they use to have control over..

The stalker suffers from extreme mental instability and personality disorders. Anti-Social personality disorders such as borderline, sociopathic, narcissistic, histrionic, and psychopathic. These individuals are emotionally immature, extremely jealous, insecure, have low self-esteem . 

These people have a distorted view of reality. They feel they have the right to control someone just because they use to be in a 'relationship'. They want to be in control. They feel that their ex (especially if children are involved) are endowed to them for the rest of their life - simply because they share kids. When the individual refuses to let their stalking ex control them – the stalker uses the children in order to gain back control. 

Victims have no choice but to establish NO CONTACT - because of the stalkers consistent harassment, lies and guilt trips, the victim must find a 3rd party to communicate between themselves and the stalker. 

Stalkers are desperate people. They use any means necessary to be in control of their victim. And unfortunately no matter how hard the victim ignores and continues to establish the "No Contact" rule – the stalker will still attempt to communicate and text and call the victim. The children are a great excuse for the stalker to remain in constant contact. The stalker will make lies, such as telling the victim "one of the children is sick or been diagnosed with a rare disease" or "one of the children need counseling, therapy, a psychiatrist" because of the victims refusal to cooperate with the sick stalker. 

This can lead to life long problems and difficulties for the victim, and also the children who are being pushed and pulled into the chaos by the disorder, unstable stalker...

Masters of Deception and Lies

Sociopaths are master manipulators... They are hard wired in their evil brains to manipulate and lie. If you suspect that you are dealing with a sociopath or any other cluster B personality disordered individual, always assume that they are lying until proven otherwise. 

Some people have a hard time imagining that a person would lie about having cancer... Or lying about their daughter having cancer. But NEVER put anything past a sociopath. I have seen sociopaths lie about having uterine cancer, in order to gain sympathy from people whom she owed a large amount of money too. I have seen a sociopath tell the father of her children that their daughter (who was 12) found a lump in her breast and it was cancer and she was going to have to have surgery to have it removed. She even told her ex husband what time to be at the hospital and what hospital room it was and the dr performing surgery. Luckily my friend knew the doctor, and got in contact with his daughter, and he found out it was all a lie. He knew she was a pathological liar but he had know idea she would stoop so low as in to say his daughter had breast cancer. That was his “Ahh Haa” moment when it came to his sociopathic ex wife. He realized then that she was truly disordered and that he could not believe a word she said. So what was the point in communicating with her regarding the children? He knew that she would tell devastating lies for no reason. Now his daughter is 16 and his son is 13. And they both have cell phones. And he only communicates through his children. And very very rarely will have any communication with his sociopathic ex wife. Even though he has been consistent in having “No Contact” with her for over 3 years. She refuses to let go and leave him alone. He still is receiving text messages 4-6 times a week that are so long his phone can only receive half of the message. 

Before he implemented the No Contact Rule he was receiving 5-10 text messages from her per day, and at least 2 phone calls. 

Sociopaths are persistent but not in a positively driven way. Everything a sociopath does is because they are trying to control a person, control a situation, or seek revenge on those they cannot control. 

Unfortunately sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists, will never change. They will make the lives of anyone who is unfortunate enough to be related to them, or in a relationship with them -completely miserable. Sociopaths choose a partner who is empathic and kind (an easy target to manipulate). They lie to their families and their partner, and cheat with multiple partners, and when confronted they deny and blame. Making the person feel as is they are going crazy. The sociopath projects all their mental issues, and shames onto their partner, or their target, or a family member – especially when confronted with something that they have done or are doing wrong. Eventually people who know the sociopath STOP confronting him/her, because of the brutal backlash that it will cause. So most people who are not family, and that do not have children with the sociopath will eventually cut contact with the sociopath, because it is so hard to be friends with him/her. 

Sociopaths are takers. They take, take and take some more. They NEVER give anything back. 

They are parasites, and people are their host. They attach themselves to someone who has something to offer them, and suck the energy, life, and joy right out of that person. They drain people emotionally, physically, and financially. Once they have taken everything from that person, and the person has nothing left to give them, they discard them like yesterday's newspaper. 

So when you know that the person you are dealing with is a sociopath. Always check other sources when they tell you anything. Never repeat to anyone something they tell you about another person that is negative. Because more than likely they are attempting to start a smear campaign about that person.  All sociopaths, and psychopaths Do Not have a Conscience. They Do Not feel any remorse for destroying lives, stealing, lying, and cheating. No one can help the sociopath or reform them. Psychiatrists cannot help a sociopath. The sociopath will only lie to any trained mental health care professional. Therapy only enables the sociopath to learn more about human emotion, so they can manipulate even better. 

The best and only option for dealing with a sociopath or psychopath is cutting all ties, and communication. You have to take care of yourself. You will feel broken, and drained after knowing a sociopath. But it is possible to save what little you may have left if you can get away from one .