Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The Obsessed, Dangerous, and Desperate Sociopath


Sociopaths are toxic. They destroy others. They inflict emotional harm on family, ex spouses, spouses, children, and even strangers. Sociopaths will never leave you alone. Most ex spouses of a sociopath will usually  try to have "NO CONTACT" because of the harassment they receive on an everyday basis. 
The sociopath will obsessively call, text, email and harass. It can become so frequent, it disrupts the victims work, personal life, and peace. 

No Contact Does Not Always Work


Even when the victim establishes no contact with the sociopath, refusing to return or answer calls, not responding to text messages, or emails. The sociopath does not always get bored with you, and move on to their next victim. Sometimes they become obsessed with you. They will become desperate just to get a tiny response from you. They will make up lies to try to get a response. Some will tell you that they have a terminal illness (such as stage 4 ovarian cancer). Knowing you are not a monster, you probably will respond, because a normal person with a normal brain, will feel sad, and guilty to ignore someone who is supposedly “dying” . A person with an abnormal brain, that lacks so conscience and no heart is the only kind of person who will tell you they are dying when they are not, just to get you to respond. 
Why does a sociopath go to such extremes just to get a response?
                 CONTROL

The sociopath wants control. They had control over you at one time and they intended on keeping control over you. So when you move on with your life, and no longer allow the sociopath to control your life. They become desperate to get that control back. The sociopath can become most dangerous when they become obsessed with you. Most sociopaths go their entire life, and never kill anyone. Although they make life hell, and ruin many people. Many do not ever murder. An obsessed sociopath is dangerous because the fact is, they do not have a conscience. Since it is our conscience that keeps us from doing awful things to others, the sociopath is capable of almost anything. When a sociopath is stalking you, and has become obsessed with you. It's important that you live cautiously. Never forget what you are dealing with... A monster..

When you are the victim of a sociopath who is obsessed with controlling you, even though you ended the relationship. It's important to try to stay one step ahead of them. This can be difficult and exhausting, and not recommended, unless you feel you are being stalked by the sociopath. Being involved or around a sociopath for a long time, you will be able to see the patterns and can predict  some of their manipulation patterns and behaviors. Trying to stay one step ahead of the sociopath will eventually wreak havoc on your own sanity and health. So it is best to contact your local police department, let them be aware of the harassment. 

Most importantly DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT everything. Save emails, text, and record any phone calls, save any voice mails. You may need these things in order to file a protective order or restraining order against the sociopath, when they will not leave you alone. 

The sociopath will always have what seems to be a valid excuse to contact you. If you have children with the sociopath, the harassment you will get from the sociopath can cause stress, anger, frustration, depression, and even physical illness. Having children gives the sociopath a reason to contact you everyday.. Even though there is no reason to actually speak to your ex EVERY SINGLE DAY, the sociopath will find one – the children

The sociopath is going to call, text and email just to bother you and annoy you most of the time. Sending text so minuscule like "Suzie has a dentist appointment today, and she is very scared of going" or "Bobby has a test in science and is worried he will fail". The strangest thing is when you speak with your children you will usually find out that Susie never went to the dentist. And bobby wasn't worried about a science test. The sociopath has no rhyme or reason why they send you text that are random and made up. It is just to disrupt your day. They hope you will respond, become upset (that your children are worried).

The sociopath loves keeping you on your toes and causing drama in your life. Even when you have moved on and they have moved on. They still want to bother you just because they can. They want to be able to feel that they have that control over you. They need to know that if they want to, they can disrupt your mind state, foil your plans, stress you out, cause chaos in your life, and control your emotions. 

They do this because they are disturbed people. They are desperate and pathetic. They do not realize what they are doing is harming their children emotionally. Most of the time the parent who is being harassed on a daily basis. Will feel anxiety and fear about having to deal with their ex spouse. They want to avoid the ex. Because of the constant contact and harassment. This affects the children, because they may not be able to see both parents as much. THE SOCIOPATH MAKES GETTING THE CHILDREN SO DIFFICULT, and So STRESSFUL. The other parent shuts down. They are emotionally drained after dealing with a psycho for so long. They even suffer from a form of Emotional PTSD. 

Once the sociopath sees that their ex is avoiding them. They will push even more. By be-littling, degrading, putting down, trying to instill shame and guilt about not being a good parent. How the children are embarrassed by their family and it is all that parents fault, because of the lack of co parenting. It is all a ploy to get control and to get that response. 

The best thing the parent who is being harassed can do is; do right by your children when they are with you. Know that you cannot control what the sociopath does. Taking the sociopath to court will only make the situation worse. Sociopaths are able to work the legal system and you will probably lose that battle. So don't take them to court unless you feel the children are being physically or sexually abused. Do the best you can for your children when they are in your care. DO NOT EVER speak negatively of the sociopathic parent. Just be the best parent you can be. 

AND ABOVE ALL IGNORE THE SOCIOPATH, CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IF YOU MUST. 

**NEVER ALLOW THE SOCIOPATH TO AFFECT YOUR LIFE, IT IS HARD BUT IF YOU MAINTAIN NO CONTACT THEN THEY ARE BASICALLY HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THEMSELF EVERYTIME THEY CALL AND LEAVE A MESSAGE Or TEXT YOU 



13 comments:

  1. I have an ex who is diagnosed with BPD & NPD. I saw no anger or rage during the beginning of the 'relationship', he is highly intelligent softly spoken & superficially attractive.
    I escaped but not unscathed, the cruelty is deliberate, which caused me to feel suicidal & broken. He still bothers me a lot, I am forced to manage his attentions politely. Nothing he does or writes appears abusive. I know he is lies, cheats and enjoys hurting others (especially those he claims to love).
    I couldn't comprehend his cruelty, manipulation or lies but he has all sorts of excuses which aren't logical.

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    1. Ijust left a relationship.. if that's what you can call it... 3 weeks ago I really feel so alome and broken even though I have awesome family and friends supporting me right now It's been a complete and utter nightmare and I really don't think it's over and we don't even have any children together Thank God But he does have a son that I worry so much about and it was hard to leave but I had no choice I have emotionally been drained and dropped down to 109 lbs I'm so angry at myself for not knowing and he's so little I have been in contact with the motherof his child to keep things in perspective for her but I don't know if she will listen

      Delete
    2. Ijust left a relationship.. if that's what you can call it... 3 weeks ago I really feel so alome and broken even though I have awesome family and friends supporting me right now It's been a complete and utter nightmare and I really don't think it's over and we don't even have any children together Thank God But he does have a son that I worry so much about and it was hard to leave but I had no choice I have emotionally been drained and dropped down to 109 lbs I'm so angry at myself for not knowing and he's so little I have been in contact with the motherof his child to keep things in perspective for her but I don't know if she will listen

      Delete
    3. Don't worry.. A little adjustment and time can heal you...

      It's like because most of the sociopath who wants to manipulate us, call us everyday...
      And we get used to that daily contact that we feel lonely and broken.
      It's good that u still have concern to his son..shows that u have empathy which sociopath lacks thereof.
      Well ,u have done your part talking to the boy's mom.
      You can't do anything since it's not your child or relative...
      Bring those things to prayers.
      Prayers is very powerful.

      I just hope the son will not be a sociopath since some articles says it is hereditary...

      About a part of my story:
      I healed myself and get over it in less than 2 months.

      It's like I have my family support and a li'l of my friends..
      I block my ex from fb so I won't get jealous or feel bad.block his friend's messenger but not the actual fb account,because these sociopath will find a way to contact you by using their friends and some of your friend's.
      Soon he gave up and tells to let go... Via msg which send to my bestfriend coz he's blocked.
      Telling that he wants to get his jacket and his glasses...
      Oh very selfish...no feeling of shame :p

      Delete
    4. Don't worry.. A little adjustment and time can heal you...

      It's like because most of the sociopath who wants to manipulate us, call us everyday...
      And we get used to that daily contact that we feel lonely and broken.
      It's good that u still have concern to his son..shows that u have empathy which sociopath lacks thereof.
      Well ,u have done your part talking to the boy's mom.
      You can't do anything since it's not your child or relative...
      Bring those things to prayers.
      Prayers is very powerful.

      I just hope the son will not be a sociopath since some articles says it is hereditary...

      About a part of my story:
      I healed myself and get over it in less than 2 months.

      It's like I have my family support and a li'l of my friends..
      I block my ex from fb so I won't get jealous or feel bad.block his friend's messenger but not the actual fb account,because these sociopath will find a way to contact you by using their friends and some of your friend's.
      Soon he gave up and tells to let go... Via msg which send to my bestfriend coz he's blocked.
      Telling that he wants to get his jacket and his glasses...
      Oh very selfish...no feeling of shame :p

      Delete
    5. Reach out to your strongest supporter for strength. Tell them the truth of what you have been thru. You will get thru this. Time heals all. Believe me I still carry emotional scars from what I went thru. And talking about and telling my experiences and others has helped me

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    6. I've met this sexy guy in gym.I fell for him instantly. He had a great face and body and very charming.I left my marriage for this man.He slowly became more controlling and aggressive as time went on.I thought he was jealous over me.I felt happy that this sexy man.was so jealous over me who is 8,years older by the way.He started accusing me of being with other men and started verbally abusing me.It escalated to physical and emotional and verbal abuse.The times I wanted to leave him he would come break into my flat as we spend most time together but had separate flats.I stayed and became his "slave" with everything including sex.whenever or however he wanted it.I must be honest I enjoyed him because the sex with him was absolutely fantastic.He introduced me to drugs to get me more sexually excited.I started using with him.and found out after that he would sleep with me for an entire weekend and when I.used to go back to my flat he used to have sex with prostitutes even on street corners late at night or early morning hours. I'm shocked.and hurt but realize this.sociopath is no good for me.I'm trying to get away from this monster because I realized he never loved me but only used me and controlled me.He has no conscience
      I asked GOD to please lead.me away from this evil person so I can enjoy life again but I know it will be a very difficult process for he has scarred me badly but I know there is still hope
      He still refuses to give up so I just hope and pray that I can remain strong to him and carry on with my life....To everyone out there. Please do not trust anyone because Satan comes with lots of different disguises.

      Delete
  2. You're blog has so much knowledge, I feel like it's given me strength...BUT, I have to admit, it's also scared the absolute shit out of me and has left me feeling more helpless and weak. Is that possible? As it relates to co-parenting with an spath...I feel SO HELPLESS! He's is damaging my child emotionally and no one will do anything about it! The hurt is so deep, it's crippling! I have to sit and watch quietly, sometimes even agreeing so as to not set him off! I'm so sick of it! I feel like I'm going insane. I try SO hard to protect my child from the bad people in the world, but yet the court makes me send my child to visit with a complete monster twice a week! I've never filed a court case...I don't have to because he ALWAYS does. He's drained me financially! Turned my child against me. I feel like I've lost everything. And no one does a damn thing about it. It's SICK

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. I understand. I have been there. It's very hard. I feel your pain. Sociopaths are excellent in manipulating the court. You have to find a way to prove he is not a good parent. And gather your proof. If he is not leaving any evidence behind. Then it's hard. I wish I could help you. My heartbreaks for you. Because I have seen it so many times. The sociopath doesn't really care for he child well being - if they did they would know that having mom and dad both in their life is best for the child. He is doing out of pure spite and evil. I don't think he hates you - I think he just wants to see You suffer. As sick as that sounds. And who the hell knows why these assholes are this way - (obviously because the have NO soul, no conscious, and no empathy - they are just shallow pathetic entities who have been put on this earth for some sick reason. Know I am thinking about you. And my heart goes out to you

      Delete
  3. Sounds like the one I knew.
    Mine really acts like the humble pie- even his insults he more often than not tries to pack them in "nice words" and gaslightning so that the outside world believes he is a nice and educated person.
    I know for sure that he is pretty unhappy with his current target- but in front of me of course he acts like he is happy. :-D
    It hit his ego hard that I did not want to be with him (to him I was hs dream come true- as a person and in attractiveness, he wanted to have sex with me so bad, wich he never got) so he tried every hoovering trick in the book- when everything failed he got himself a new supply and tried to hurt me by rubbing her into my face.
    I am glad he and his madness is gone.
    I am just scared he will someday try to reach out to me again (I've blocked him everywhere but he still has my adress and I can't move since I own a house and have my whole social circle, work... et cetera here).

    ReplyDelete
  4. There are many good channels on You tube that deal with Narcissism and recovering from Narcissistic abuse. Some of the channels are:
    1) CNXG - which stands for crazynarcissistxgirlfriend
    2) Angie Atkinson
    3) SelfLoveU
    4) Ross Rosenberg
    5) Family Tree Brand Life Coaches
    6) Alex March
    7) Understanding Narcissists
    8) Lisa Romano
    9) Mouth of the Ape
    10) Kim Saeed
    11) Knowing the Narcissist - be aware though that this channel is by a diagnosed Narcissist/Sociopath but is very informative. While he provides good information, please keep in mind that he is void of any real caring for people.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete