Recovery and healing

Some people are fascinated with sociopaths... I am not one of those people.

To me there is nothing fascinating about a person who is evil. There is nothing special about a person who hurts everyone that is “nearest and dearest” to them. Maybe people are fascinated because they understand so little about these ruthless individuals. I doubt they have been the victim of one or targeted. If they were, they would not be so fascinated with them. 

Sociopaths are bad people. They have bad intentions. They are aware of the misery they cause, yet they don't give a damn. 

I don't like to call myself a victim of a narcissistic sociopath. I prefer to think I am a survivor.

It has taken some time to heal, and recover, but I like to think I have come a long way from where I was about 7 years ago. None of it has been easy, there was a time when I believed that nothing would ever be “ok” again. I was completely hopeless. I felt that I didn't even know who I was anymore. I was so lost I even questioned my own morals, wondering what did I do, there has to be an explanation why someone would do these awful things to me. 

I have suffered. I admit I have felt like nothing mattered anymore. Because of my bad decision to marry a snake, my life would never be happy, I would never find peace.

What happened to me? 

I have felt just about every emotion one can feel. I was depressed, then I was angry. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I was hopeless. I was scared, alone, and living in fear. 

I have been through it all. I have had to really look at myself, my real self. I didn't always see what I liked. What my ex sociopath did isn't important to me anymore. The things I lost are no longer important to me either. 

What matters most to me is the here and the now. I continue to take things one day at a time. 

Once I stopped feeling like a was a victim and I started looking at myself, I learned that I was responsible for myself and my feelings. It is up to me to establish boundaries with people, and walk away from people and situations that make me feel belittled and taken advantage of. What has happened in the past is over and done. Can't change any of that. But I can learn from it all. No matter how much I do not like what I have been through, I do believe there is a bigger learning experience in it. Eveything happened the way it happened because that was the way it was meant to be. It really is what it is. 

Accepting that everything that happens, happens so for a reason, and even though I don't know what that reason is, I have to trust that it is the way it is suppose to be. 

Trusting that everything is the way it is suppose to be, is what made me realize that I do not have to be a victim anymore.

Being a victim was a not a choice, but being a survivor is. 

I know now I AM NOT THE PERSON I use to be. I am much more than the person I use to be. I am stronger now, I have lived through something that forced me to look at myself, my flaws, my insecurities, and as ugly as they were at times, there was a reason I had to go through this. 

Traits of a Victim

Being a victim of a malicious sociopath is devastating. Surviving the after math of the sociopath is even more so.. 

Usually the victim is so broken and beaten down by the sociopath, once the sociopath has drained the life and finances out of their target, they dispose of them like garbage. Leaving their victim confused, depressed, and without any closure. 

The victim must become the survivor

In order to heal from the devastation of a sociopath. The victim must cut off any and all contact from the sociopath, the hope that they will ever get closure, and any desire to get revenge on the sociopath. 

After the pain and hurt is gone, it is quickly replaced with anger. It's important to not live in denial of what happened, but more important to let go of the anger towards the sociopath. This means not seeking revenge in any form. Any revenge on the sociopath will probably blow up in your face. The sociopath is a skilled con artist and an excellent liar. They have been using and abusing people their whole life. Hurting others comes as natural as breathing to a sociopath. It's hard wired in their brains to manipulate, lie and cheat in order to get what they want. They do not have a functioning conscience, so any pain they inflict onto any living thing will not cause them to lose sleep at night 

I came across this website -sociopathicstyle.com 

They define the "traits of a victim" as

 

• A belief that if you love enough the person will change
• A belief that if you love enough the relationship will succeed
• Difficulty establishing and maintaining boundaries
• Not being able to say no
• Being easily influenced by others
• Wanting to be rescued from your life situation
• Wanting to rescue others from their distress
• Being over (sic) nurturing particularly when not asked
• Feelings of shame and self doubt
• Low self esteem
• A lack of memories about childhood or periods of adulthood
• Shyness
• Difficulty communicating
• A lack of self confidence
• Wanting to please
• A lack of motivation from within and being motivated by what others want

You can decide to be a Survivor. You do not have to be a victim forever. It's being able learn from your mistakes. And become the person you are destined to be. The sociopath always tries to steal what you have, the light in your eyes... They do not have a light in their eyes like you, that is why they have to take yours. 

You must get the sociopath out of your life, and any other toxic people that are draining your energy, time, finances, and life out of you. 

Sociopaths are good at playing Victim...

One of the clearest indicators you’ve got a mentally unstable person on your hands is smear campaigning. Smear campaigners carefully use lies, exaggerations, suspicions and false accusations to try destroying your credibility. They play victim, the tell their sob story and how "you" did all the horrible things to them, all while they are did nothing to deserve the horrible things you did to them. When in fact, when it comes to sociopaths ( especially female) they are doing to "you" all the horrible 
things they say you are doing to them. They do this so that your reputation and creditability is 
damaged. The sociopath will cry fake tears and claim their innocence in an attempt to make as many people as possible think their efforts are based not on their vindictiveness, but on upstanding concern.

The sociopath does this because of your refusal to give them what they want. They are angry that you 
will not be their puppet, so in all the only you are "guilty” of is saying no to someone who is, in some way, failing to respect your boundaries, abusing and bullying you for money. Since the sociopath 
refuses to follow the same rules as everyone else, because thy believe they are above the law. 
Sociopaths spread lies and rumors because they are toxic and manipulating. Sociopaths feel entitled to whatever they want, they are sneaky and vindictive. Sociopaths have no regrets when they hurt 
you. They are more than willing to take from you and never give back anything. They are takers, not 
givers. 

NO SATISFACTION COMES BY BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SOCIOPATH. 
BECAUSE IN ORDER TO HAVE FULFILLMENT AND BE HAPPY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, 
THERE NEEDS TO BE A LITTLE GIVE AND TAKE. YOU CANT GET THAT WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A COLD BLOODED SOCIOPATH. THEY USE YOU. ABUSE YOU. DESTROY YOUR REPUTATION IN THE COMMUNITY. DESTROY YOUR FINANCES, AND 
DRAIN YOU MENTALLY EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.  

Narcissistic Sociopaths will fly into a vindictive narcissistic rage if you dare to question them,  instead of just being compliant with their demands. Sociopaths often have anger management issues and are driven solely by their own selfish wants, with no regard for the rights of others or for consequences. Most female sociopaths have to create drama and conflict wherever possible, and 

they require little to no incentive to do so.  They have difficulty controlling their reactions, and may become intensely angered  by what others interpret to be minor matters. Sociopaths want drama and love to create conflict and make life difficult for everyone around them

Evil Women

Traits of a Truly Evil Bitch -- the sociopathic woman

The female sociopath is evil. Crazy, sadistically EVIL.  She plays an Excellent Vicitm though.  How does she do it? If you have been the target of one of these monsters, like I have you probably had no idea that women like this existed until you met her. 
SHE TARGETS MEN FOR THEIR MONEY. SHE ALSO TARGETS OTHER WOMEN THAT ARE A THREAT TO HER. SO IF YOU ARE AN ATTRACTIVE INTELLIGENT WOMEN - YOU COULD BE ANOTHER POTENTIAL TARGET. Why? Because inside the female sociopath she is so insecure and jealous of other women (especially attractive smart ones) she will try to destroy anyone who crosses her path that could be a potential threat.. Threat being -- The woman is likely to be promoted before her, or could mess up he financial scams. Usually she will target one of many ex's  new girlfriend of wife. IF THIS EVIL BITCH HAS CHILDREN WITH AN EX - NOT ONLY WILL SHE HARRASS HER EX EVERYDAY FOR MORE MONEY, AND TRY TO CONTROL HIS LIFE. SHE WILL TRY TO DESTROY ANY LOVE INTEREST HE HAS. She doesn't want him but she wants to make sure he stays 100%  controlled by her. It takes a VERY Strong woman to stay in a relationship with a man who has children by a sociopath. The women better be prepared to fight for her life. The female fatale sociopath may not physically murder her, but the evil whore will murder her spirit, self esteem, repuation, and her zest for life. The sociopath thinks " How DARE this woman come in and mess up MY LIFE  by marrying MY EX, and making it so he is not under my complete control, I am still using him, I have not bled him dry yet, he still has money left that is mine!"
{YES THIS WOMAN THINKS THIS WAY}

Does this excerpt give you an idea about what you are dealing with? Well, these are just few among the many many masks that she wears, and when she let goes, she still manages to have a soft corner for herself in your heart. So, how do you identify if this 'female' you are interacting with is a sociopath? What are the traits that you should look for? Are sociopaths so easy to identify? Well, if that was the case, then there wouldn't be much of a problem, right? Nevertheless, mentioned below are some points that will help you understand how this sometimes beautiful and attractive predator uses her charms and lies to deceit you; she does it due to a mental disorder but will make you believe that you are the one who is insane! ( not all of them are actually drop dead gorgeous, they are average looking but their charisma is what you feel attracted too, once the female sociopath hits 40 she is looking like a used wash cloth, and it becomes harder to snatch her prey)

This is what the female sociopath looks like inside and after the age of 46 - the whore I know 

SHE BELIEVES SHE IS GOOD - {evil - crazy - and delusional}

Another classic characteristic of a female sociopath is that she believes that she is simply the best, be it in looks, in intelligence, or in taking control of your life! Her self-worth and superior belief is always too high as compared to others. So, if you are with a woman who says, "Why should I be doing this, these things are meant for the lowlifes?" or, "I am so beautiful and intelligent, I don't need 
to do this at all!", then there are chances that she can turn out to be the sociopath you should be away from! Her superior beliefs also make her arrogant and harsh towards others, but if you are the potential prey, she will treat you like there can be no one as sweet as her ... at least initially.

 No Respect for Rules and Responsibilities!

For her, rules are meant to be broken, and responsibilities, why should she even care! She can never follow rules because she is way too impulsive. She cannot overcome temptations, and when she wants something, there is no rule that can stop her. Her actions are never governed by morals and she never thinks about the consequences. Therefore, you can never expect things like planning, focusing, and commitment from a sociopath. If you confront her, she will cry, she will make you believe that she will change, but then you're a fool to believe her words, and she is way too smart for you not to believe her.

STIMULATION JUNKY - She is not only a pill popping, drug user junky!

Another interesting thing about a female sociopath is that she tends to get bored way too easily. You cannot expect stability, or being involved in the same routine for long. Which is why she will change jobs within sort span of time, she will move from places to places living a nomadic life. She needs something new, exciting, and stimulating all the time. If drug abuse, multiple sexual partners, or abusing a person gives her a high, or stimulates her in any way, she will easily do that without giving it a second thought.

She is a Pathological LIAR To GAIN ATTENTION and SYMPATHY 
A female sociopath is called the best actress in the whole world! You act when you need to hide your reality, and she is really good at that. She will lie to come closer to you, she will lie to gain your attention, she will lie to make you want her, she will lie to make you believe her lies and bond with her emotionally ... and when that happens, she will start to manipulate you, she will trap you in her 
stories and talks, and make you believe that all that she is doing is justified, at least from her point of view! She will be dishonest, deceitful and cleverly sly. If you're smart, you should get out as soon as she starts behaving like this.

 She IS A PARASITE THAT WILL FEED ON YOU!  {Literally draining the life out of you}
If you think that she is there with you because she genuinely likes you, think again! Are you the kind of person who is financially stable, who is responsible, who believes in helping and sympathizing with others, and who can forgive and give the 'benefit of doubt'; then probably that is the reason why she is there with you. She indulges in a parasitic living. She will exploit you emotionally, financially, may be even physically to fulfill her own shallow desires. She cannot feel your pain, she has shallow emotions, and although at times, she might appear to be caring and loving, the truth is that she is coldhearted and will be nice to you only if you comply with her wishes and desires.

Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/female-sociopaths.html