Your Abuser Will Never Change

Sociopaths,  narcissist, psychopaths, and also the dark triad personality disordered person  has mastered how to attack and retreat. This is how they keep their victims off balance. They sociopath undermines the victim and works to lower the victims self esteem, confidence and independence 

Abuse sociopaths suffers from internal discomfort and conflicts that they have no clue how to deal with, due to their lack of being able to genuinely connect to others. Sociopaths do not have much practical and logical thinking inside their mind. Rational reasoning, kindness, and empathy, is just NOT there.  They do so many damaging things to their victim  is to compensate or satisfy their own insecurities. Sociopaths and narcissist will work  hard to give others the impression that they are Confident, self assured, independent, and basically “awesome” Human being. 

The sociopath does not ever look within themselves.  Because “within" them is hollow and empty. They don't seek to understand or respect others because they do not understand or respect themselves. The ONLY understanding the sociopath wants to find is how to better manipulate and control their victim.

The Truth is that narcissist and sociopaths are very insecure. The narcissist more so than the sociopath. The narcissist is very skilled at hiding their  own weaknesses. Their strategy is to make the victim look ‘unstable, dangerous, and suffering from low self esteem. The sociopath hides their insecurity and self-hatred by exploiting others, and portraying them as weak. 

Since these abusive types of people CaNNoT control their own life, and (malicious) emotions, they try to control others, through manipulation, lies, threat, blackmail, and for a lack of better words, causing their victims to doubt their self, and feel unworthy and not good enough. While if these malicious types may have some positive qualities. Although I have never seen anything positive come from a sociopath, ever ..  

The narcissistic sociopath will always hold very toxic and unrealistic expectations of victims and their family members, these expectations are to ridiculous to ever really met. Those who try to meet these expectations will become exhausted and drained. The sociopath convinces them that they a failure, and they will constantly berate them, and be verbally abuse. This is a game that the sociopath loves to play with people in their life. The sociopath has mastered this "game" and they know it is a game that they will win, and that their victims cannot win. 

Narcissist and sociopaths are ABUSERS. It's vital for all victims of these vile individuals to remember, the abuse more than likely has nothing to do with you. If they are not abusing You, they would be abusing someone else. They abuse family members as long as the family member stays in the sociopaths life. The actions of the abuser are not Your fault. Even though the sociopath will have you convinced and brainwashed that you are to blame for anything they may have done to hurt you.  One of the hardest things to accept and understand is You will have little or no impact on the sociopath. They will never change. They are wired the way they are. They aren't suffering from a mental illness, but they have a malevolent personality disorder,  the are unable to feel empathy when there is suffering, and they hurt and cause severe damage to anyone who meets them. 
They are basically soulless. So never expect these types to change. There may be a temporary change but it will not be lasting. It is only another tactic to get back in your life, once they do the abuse will start again. 

Even if the abusers wanted to change, they seldom want to put any real effort towards changing. Victims of emotional abuse often think otherwise. They stick around hoping they can fix things and hoping that their abuser will change. 

Please leave and get out before you wake up one day and notice you look older and feel older and realize you have given all your good years and all your energy to this person, who has never valued and never will value you for the amazing person  that you are. 

Smear Campaigns is a Narcissist Specialty

 Smear campaigns are typically conducted against people who have stood up against some form of unfairness, abuse, or entitlement.

Narcissists and Sociopaths are highly active smear campaigners - spreading rumors is their speciality

A smear campaign involves blatant lies, exaggerations, and the use of half truths to come across more creditable to any skeptics, their goal is to convince others that they are the victim and the person they are slandering is the disordered

Smear campaigners insinuate that the victim is mentally ill, unreasonable, incompetent, untrustworthy, or abusive.

Sociopaths  typically play on the sensibilities of others, using people’s empathy and morals to turn people against their victims – most often for having done nothing more than disagree with the smearer.

A smear campaigner prefers to make others think they are good people who are rightfully standing up against the victim’s supposed immorality or abuse.

Smear campaigners play the victim, the hero, or both.

Smear campaigners try to ostracize their victims and make them feel alone, unpopular, and unsupported by others.

Smear campaigners enjoy the feeling of having “gotten back at” their victims, and believe it is completely justifiable – even fun – to mistreat someone for having an opinion that is different from theirs.

Smear campaigners do not acknowledge the wrong they do, and cannot typically be expected to genuinely confess or apologize — even after they’ve been proven liars.

Do not speak to smear campaigners unless it’s completely impossible not to. If you DO have to speak to the smearer, do so only in the presence of others and in copied emails/properly documented letters. Plan ahead to prevent being put in difficult positions by the smear campaigner.

Lastly, remember that you do have the right to make fair and healthy requests, and if you are smeared as a result, smearing is an unreasonable and unacceptable response.

Smiling or baring teeth?

This quote is talking about a sociopath.

And it is so true! 

Sociopaths smile so nicely to everyone, and look so friendly. Little do most know that they are actually planning on destroying someone.

The person they will always target is the caring, sympathic, loving and most genuine person. 

Why would a sociopath target someone like themselves? After all they have a deep rooted hate for themselves, although you will never see that. You will only see the hatred they have for you — after the honeymoon phase is over of course.

True Sociopath & Narcissist Sociopath

All sociopaths are narcissist but NOT ALL narcissist are sociopaths. 

There are narcissist and then there are narcissistic sociopaths.... There is a difference between the two. From my own personal experience, this is what I have observed about the two.(this is only my personal observation and experience) 

A True Sociopath has no fear. The true sociopath does not care what others think of them. Unlike the narcissistic sociopath who cares not about what people think of them, but about how people view them. 

The Narc Sociopath wants to be viewed by others as popular and liked, even if they are not like by many people, they will pretend that they are. The Narc Sociopath is so insecure that it is important to them that others admire them, because of their materialist possessions, or name brand clothing. They want people to believe that they are powerful, and that they have a lot of “friends” with powerful connections. 

They are all different and they all do different things. 

A True Sociopath is so selfish and empty. That when they are deceiving and cheating, it never crosses their mind that the person they have lied to and deceived will be hurt by the deception. A True Sociopath does not see other people as having any rights of their own, or a mind of their own. The True Sociopath doesn't care or even think that people have the ability to make decisions for themselves. The True Sociopath is only capable of seeing what they want. The true sociopath only “thinks” of their wants. Their sense of entitlement makes them believe that what they want is the most important thing in the world. 

The true sociopath thinks only of him/herself. Sociopaths intentionally act as if they care about others and are eager to help. When it seems as if the sociopath is being “helpful” this is only because she/he has their own agenda. And if pretending to want to help or care will achieve this agenda for them, then that's what they will do. If the true sociopath wants something, he/she will make sure that they get what it is they want, and will use whatever means to get this. Whoever the person is that can get the sociopath closer to getting what  he/she wants will become the sociopaths next target...

The true sociopath will do anything and destroy anyone to get what they want - this includes —

• Compulsive pathological lying (outrageous ridiculous lies)
• Deception and manipulation (conning)
• Cheating and infidelity
• Living like a parasite
• Faking ‘love’
• Theft, stealing,taking out credit cards and loans in someone's name without that persons knowledge. 

When most people do something that hurts another person, we feel guilty, we feel bad about ourselves and can be hard on ourselves. We experience remorse and shame. Usually we end up feeling so bad that we will go out of our way to make that wrong, right.. 

The sociopath does not care at all if they have ruined someone's life. They lose no sleep and they barely even think about the wrong. True sociopaths experience no feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse. 

The narcissistic sociopath will never experience regret. The are only capable of hatred and revenge. 

If the narc sociopaths actions have damaged their life, they don’t feel bad for THEMSELVES, they feel hatred and will find something or someone to blame for whatever happened. 

They don't feel anything towards the any people they have destroyed. They actually feel a sick victory of some sort. 

The Villain and The Victim

This is an old draft I found. Decided to publish it. Hope it gives insight to those who are dealing with a narcissist or a sociopath. 

Psychopaths are able to present themselves as charismatic and charming. They know how to pour on the charm to hook their victims emotionally and gain their trust. Psychopaths are very calculating, cold hearted, and lack empathy. The psychopath is an excelled liar. They need to convince others that they are caring and kind-hearted, by doing this, it allows them to torture (usually emotionally and mentally) their victims, and then vilify the victim when the victim speaks out. The sociopath will claim to be the “victim”. Many may believe that the sociopath is victim because the sociopath has manipulated people to believe they are a good person, and convinced those people that the real victim is a liar, and bad person. This is how they will try to destroy their target, by convincing acquaintances that they are a “good” person, all while spreading lies about the Real victim. 

The psychopath resorts to outrageous lies, and false accusations. In reality, these people are opposite of everything they claim. One thing in particular that I noticed with psychopaths, is that whatever they are accusing YOU of — they are guilty of it. 

For example – the psychopath will have many social media accounts, they look for things that the general normal  people are upset over, like bullying, or cyber stalking. They will accuse their victim of these things, because they know that these certain subjects are sensitive to most people.  By doing this they hurt (even though they don't care) not only their target but real victims of bullying. With sociopaths claiming victim-hood, they take credibility away from the real victims of bullying, cyber bullying, and harassment. 

It is somewhat like crying wolf. Only in this case the psychopath is actually the wolf, but is dressed up as a sheep.

The Sociopath never stops being obsessed

Does the narcissistic sociopath ever give up on making your life miserable.

I do not think will. They will have distractions come along the way, that may give you a small amount of peace. But I have been stalked, had profiles made up about my online, been signed up spam mail, I have even received hand written letters at my home mail box. That was when I had a security system installed. But I say once again, even though there is no communication, contact with my sociopath stalker. It’s still costing me money.

The way I see it, I have dealt with this for a 13+ years. And I have gained knowledge. And the sociopath hasn’t gained anything. (Except for maybe special place in hell). But my life is good. I have been through so much, but I am still fairly young. I have a loving family and supportive friends. I am active in my community. I play tennis, I am involved with many organization that i enjoy and have interest in. I have finally found the job of my dreams.  I am happy.

Everything I have been through has made me a stronger person. 10 years ago I was unable to say this.  I was constantly upset about the problems the sociopath was causing for me. Because I did not have the knowledge to know how to deal with it appropriately. That is why i started this blog. In hopes people wouldn’t make the same mistakes that I did. Or just help others that find themselves in a hopeless miserable situation like this.

It’s not your fault. I am able to be happy, despite everything that has happened. The fact that my sociopath is still to this very day obsessing over me, tells me that this person is so miserable with their life. And this is all they have to do. The sociopath is truly unhappy and miserable. There is no spark within them. Especially as they age. My sociopath is older than me by 20 years. It’s obviously that she is very miserable. All her other targets and victims have died. I’m the only one left living. So she gets online and makeups Facebook profiles in my real name. She doesn’t have any friends. Her own sister won’t even speak to her. And she basically ran her mother into an early grave.

I haven’t posted anything in a while. Because I just haven’t felt the need to. Until I came across something she made up on Facebook about me. I laughed about it. It told me all I already knew. That she has nothing else to do with her time. And no one else wants anything to do with her.

Yes, I wish she would leave me alone. But she isn’t going to. She is obsessed, miserable and jealous. She wants to upset me and cause me pain. But because of her I will say I am a stronger person than ever.

HELL on EARTH - Being the Ex-spouse of a Sociopathic Narcissist

Being the victim of a sociopath can be pure hell. Especially if the sociopaths is an express that you share children with. Or if the Sociopath is your new spouses ex that they share children with. The harassment of you and your spouse seems to never end. They use the children against you. They spread lies about you. They tell the children’s teachers, the children’s friends parents, what a crap parent you are and it will spread rumors about you and your new spouse or girlfriend.

They do this to socially destroy you. To ruin your life. And anyone who is in your life that you love.

You must disengage from the dangerous Sociopath. Sometimes it is not always realistic to go totally “NO CONTACT”  when you have children.
So in order to minimize their ability to exploit, deceive, manipulate and harm you.
You must detach, distance, and disengage.
The Sociopath thinks because you share children together, that they can talk to you every day, send you harassing messages. When you tell them that if it is not concerning the children, and you have nothing to say to them. The sociopath will make up stories about the children to you, just so they can talk to you, the only reason they want to communicate with you is to make your life difficult. 
The sociopathic narcissist wants to control you in every way they can. And they are going to do this by using your children, that you love, against you.

They will use the children as their greatest weapon against you. They will deny you access to your children, they will tell you how bad of a parent you are, they use guilt, they will do anything and everything to try to stay in contact with you in order to maintain control over you.
Once you go no contact with them. They become desperate to make contact with you, it will become an obsession for them. They will make up lies about the children, saying things like one of the children has been diagnosed with a serious medical condition, one of the children is so upset about the way they are not communicating that that child needs therapy. When the child really does not know what is going on. Unless the Sociopath has told the child something, but you as a loving parent have not involved your children and letting them know what an evil mother or father they have.

Do not rely on any information the sociopaths gives you. Always verify all information concerning the child’s health with the child or with your child’s doctor, teachers, counselors. You will more than likely find that everything that the sociopathic narcissist told you was UNTRUE. 


DO NOT CUT THE SOCIOPATH ANY SLACK!
Do not put up with their harassment. If they continue to harass you and call you, and you have told them that you refuse to deal with them because everything out of their mouth continues to be alive. Tell them that you only want to communicate with them through an attorney. But not directly. And then blocked their number from your phone.
This will in rage the Sociopath, they will become obsessed with getting you to respond. You will get text message from random numbers, that the Sociopath has found online to text you with. They can become dangerous, even moThis will enraged the sociopath, they will become obsessed with getting you to respond. You will get text message from random numbers, that the Sociopath has found online to text you with. They can become dangerous, even more so than they already are..

Always remember that narcissistic sociopaths take pleasure and making other peoples lives difficult, and watching them suffer... 

Dealing with one of these individuals is HELL on earth.