Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Cheating

Sociopaths cheat because they can...they take what they want because they want it, and they have no moral issues that they are concerned with. Since they do not  recognize rules, and simply believe that they are above the rules. They do not think much about their behaviors and they believe they can do no wrong, so the rules don't apply to them. 

Like narcissists, sociopaths are indifferent/unconcerned to the damage they do to innocent people.

To a sociopath, cheating is like a game where he/she maneuvers an individual into giving him/her what he/she wants and it has no special meaning to them. Although the sociopath will do everything to make you think otherwise....they are skillful con-artist. They will say everything they know you want to hear. They will make you believe you are special, irresistible, and everything they could ever want. But the truth is, they see you as an appliance, that they will only use when they want to. 

Narcissists and Sociopaths, will both wreak havoc and destruction on the lives of the people they encounter. Especially preying on innocent, kind and good hearted people.

There is only one way to deal with them once you have discovered that they are this way.  Get far, far away from them, and fast! NO CONTACT!  When you do this with a narcissist, they will try very hard to get back in your life (as their ego is sensitive to rejection)

Of course they say all the perfect things you have been wanting to hear. But once you let them back in, the bad behaviors like passive aggression, emotional neglect and abuse, and betrayal will start again. This vicious cycle that will never end, unless you cut out all forms of communication. They will do things to hurt you even more, once they realize that you have gone No Contact. 

For example; trying to make you jealous, telling mutual friends how glad they are to be rid of you, while also talking about how much fun they are having or new relationships they are in. IGNORE IT. And don’t try to hurt in them in return. That will waste your time and energy. 

The narcissistic sociopath is going to do everything in their power to destroy you, your reputation, your job, your friendships, and your happiness. They will try to annihilate the very fiber of your being. 

My other post have plenty of information about the different tactics that the narcissists and sociopaths use in order to try and destroy you. Stay Strong. 

Dealing with these Monsters is hard. You will feel like you are fighting for your life. **But remember their goal is to wear and tear you down. 

Smear Campaigns is a Narcissist Specialty

 Smear campaigns are typically conducted against people who have stood up against some form of unfairness, abuse, or entitlement.

Narcissists and Sociopaths are highly active smear campaigners - spreading rumors is their speciality

A smear campaign involves blatant lies, exaggerations, and the use of half truths to come across more creditable to any skeptics, their goal is to convince others that they are the victim and the person they are slandering is the disordered

Smear campaigners insinuate that the victim is mentally ill, unreasonable, incompetent, untrustworthy, or abusive.

Sociopaths  typically play on the sensibilities of others, using people’s empathy and morals to turn people against their victims – most often for having done nothing more than disagree with the smearer.

A smear campaigner prefers to make others think they are good people who are rightfully standing up against the victim’s supposed immorality or abuse.

Smear campaigners play the victim, the hero, or both.

Smear campaigners try to ostracize their victims and make them feel alone, unpopular, and unsupported by others.

Smear campaigners enjoy the feeling of having “gotten back at” their victims, and believe it is completely justifiable – even fun – to mistreat someone for having an opinion that is different from theirs.

Smear campaigners do not acknowledge the wrong they do, and cannot typically be expected to genuinely confess or apologize — even after they’ve been proven liars.

Do not speak to smear campaigners unless it’s completely impossible not to. If you DO have to speak to the smearer, do so only in the presence of others and in copied emails/properly documented letters. Plan ahead to prevent being put in difficult positions by the smear campaigner.

Lastly, remember that you do have the right to make fair and healthy requests, and if you are smeared as a result, smearing is an unreasonable and unacceptable response.

The Villain and The Victim

This is an old draft I found. Decided to publish it. Hope it gives insight to those who are dealing with a narcissist or a sociopath. 

Psychopaths are able to present themselves as charismatic and charming. They know how to pour on the charm to hook their victims emotionally and gain their trust. Psychopaths are very calculating, cold hearted, and lack empathy. The psychopath is an excelled liar. They need to convince others that they are caring and kind-hearted, by doing this, it allows them to torture (usually emotionally and mentally) their victims, and then vilify the victim when the victim speaks out. The sociopath will claim to be the “victim”. Many may believe that the sociopath is victim because the sociopath has manipulated people to believe they are a good person, and convinced those people that the real victim is a liar, and bad person. This is how they will try to destroy their target, by convincing acquaintances that they are a “good” person, all while spreading lies about the Real victim. 

The psychopath resorts to outrageous lies, and false accusations. In reality, these people are opposite of everything they claim. One thing in particular that I noticed with psychopaths, is that whatever they are accusing YOU of — they are guilty of it. 

For example – the psychopath will have many social media accounts, they look for things that the general normal  people are upset over, like bullying, or cyber stalking. They will accuse their victim of these things, because they know that these certain subjects are sensitive to most people.  By doing this they hurt (even though they don't care) not only their target but real victims of bullying. With sociopaths claiming victim-hood, they take credibility away from the real victims of bullying, cyber bullying, and harassment. 

It is somewhat like crying wolf. Only in this case the psychopath is actually the wolf, but is dressed up as a sheep.

The sociopaths intentions

Psychopathic individuals do not appear to care whom or what they use or ultimately destroy.

In the beginning of a relationship with a sociopath, psychopath or a narcissist, an person who is being targeted is usually unaware of the sociopaths true intentions.  Also to any possible vulnerabilities potential victims may have that can  make them more receptive to their advances, psychopaths also look for those who will “invest” in relationships with them.  Often things may feel wrong.  However, in the absence of any solid reasons or evidence as to why things do not feel right, the relationships, whether romantic, business, or otherwise, often continue.  The simple passage of time can further deepen the connections and perceived obligations to the psychopath.  It may seem that victims are weak, but this is not the case.  Normal human vulnerability should not be confused with weakness.  Anyone has the potential to be targeted.  

Although interactions with individuals with psychopathic traits can often be conflictual, even when things are considered “good,” most psychopaths are easily bored, like excitement, and steadily move through victims.  It is common for them to leave trails of destruction as they go.  Often, psychopathic individuals simply decide to leave a situation, partnership, or relationship unexpectedly.  

At any point, they tend to have disdain for anyone they see as threatening to their position and will very likely attempt to disarm those individuals who they consider to be threatening.  This stage may present further challenges for the victim.    Many with psychopathic traits do not like to be questioned.  Often, at this point, the victim searches for answers.  It is not uncommon for people to seek answers from those with whom they are involved.  In these cases, doing so can often lead to conflict and meet with further retaliation and  victimization.  Unfortunately, even though they are ready to move on to another situation or relationship, they may enjoy watching a victim’s distress.  Sometimes, they even enjoy the challenge of a fight.

Evil evil evil

Marrying a psychopath, and how they portray you as the unstable perpetrator.

Sociopath, narcissist, psychopath... Whatever you want to call one. They have one similar quality..

They have NO remorse. 

They are capable of causing horrific pain and suffering. (mentally and physically)  They simply could care less about the damage they cause. When normal people cause pain others pain, it is usually under the circumstance of being hurt, afraid or simply not having the tools to handle confrontation and pain appropriately. The difference in normal and psychopathic is; Normal individuals feel remorse for what they have done to hurt a person. The guilt will affect them so much, they have a hard time living a happy life. Psychopaths are able to keep thriving, the pain they know they have caused someone, doesn't bother them. They probably won't ever think about it again, unless the person they caused the pain to, expresses that they are hurt. This doesn't evoke guilt in the psychopath. Instead it evokes ANGER, irritation, and then the psychopath continues to cause more hurt, and damage.

Psychopaths intentionally hurt others, without ever feeling any guilt. 

In fact, “guilt” is a foreign emotion to the psychopath. They do not know what guilt feels like because they have never felt it. Yet ‘guilt’ is used often by the psychopath to manipulate others. 

They are often able to get people to do what they want, by making the person feel guilty. 

From my own observations, guilt is one of the psychopaths favorite tools to use against an empathic, caring person. Especially when it comes to children. Having children with a person with psychopathic tendencies is a living hell. It is almost impossible to ever live a happy life when you share children with a psychopath. They will never leave you alone, they will use the children to manipulate and use you.  The psychopath pretends to be a caring parent who Loves their children, but the truth is, the psychopath is not capable of Love. They are only capable of Hate. And unfortunately the psychopath HATES their EX more than they LOVE their children. 
Even when the children are of adult age, the psychopath will still find a reason to torment you. 

People who marry psychopaths, do not marry them knowing they are psychopathic. They were lied to and manipulated to believe the person was genuine and caring. But the person soon learns that person they married is not a good person. Some people will live in deniall, because accepting that you have married a monster is a hard pill to swallow. The marriage never last, but the abuse and trauma from the marriage does.. 
The psychopath becomes bored with their spouse/victim, because they have nothing more to offer the psychopath. So the psychopath simply moves on to their next victim, of course not before slandering, spreading lies, and accusing the victim of horrific acts against them. They do this to protect themselves against what the victim may say about the relationship. By bashing the victim first (before the relationship is even over) the psychopath is making sure their 'story' is heard before the victims. 
This makes the victims story look false. 

After all the psychopath has already warned others that their soon to be ex, would probably try to accuse them of abuse or cheating, to simply get revenge because they didn't want to be in a relationship with such a unstable person who has deep mental problems. 

Exposing a sociopath

It is difficult if not impossible to expose a sociopath for the lying, cheating, stealing, ruthless and soulless individual they really are. 

If you plan on exposing the sociopath it is important that you know what you are up against. They sociopath will not "go down" easily. You have to be the kind of person that can handle what the sociopath will do in retaliation to you. 

You MUST be strong, and confident and have a strong sense of self and high self esteem. Because the sociopath is going to try to rip you apart mentally. 

If you have been abused, and are still recovering from the abuse of a sociopathic individual then it is not advised that you try to expose them. You must focus on you, and your recovery. It is best that you just “cut them off” as best you can. Victims of sociopaths have been broken and are probably not equipped to seek revenge by exposing the sociopath. 

But if you have the strength, and you feel the need to expose a sociopath. Either to protect someone you love, a family member or someone that is in harms way. 

You must be able to really look at the person and see what they REALLY are. Which is a heartless, mean, evil, conscienceless, hateful, vindictive, and VENGEFUL. THEY HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT DESTROYING YOU, YOUR FAMILY, or YOUR CHILDREN. 

The sociopaths only fear is really being exposed for who they really are. Because once they are exposed, it would make it difficult for them to continue to con, lie and get others to do what they want. 

You must know what you are up against and know what you are dealing with. 

If you choose to expose the sociopath this will put you at the mercy of the Sociopath. Nothing can or will obstruct the will of the sociopath. I cannot stress this to you enough. 

Only The real and the full you will be able defeat the Sociopath - and still that is sometimes not enough...

The sociopath is a person who HATES you (and everyone else), and a true Sociopath will do everything they can not to reveal what they are really thinking and what their true intentions are. He or she knows that they will be a “dead agent”* once she/he is seen for how who and what they really are. The sociopath is living  inside his head. 

One of the most important things you must understand about the sociopath is that the 'real' achilles heel of the Sociopath – is that they do not know how to have “normal responses” in their internal world, their entire life is made up of mimicking what they have seen others do and how others acted toward a situation that required an emotional response. Therefore they do not actually know what a sane, correct response IS.

This means that unless they are TOLD what to say that would get you to think they have the right response, or unless they see it done somewhere:

THEY DO NOT HAVE THE EMOTIONAL CAPABILITIES TO ORIGINATE THE RIGHT MORAL RESPONSE. 

Sociopath's refuse to EVER leave their Victims Alone

Sociopaths, narcissist, and psychopaths are dangerous  parasites. If you ever want to be rid of these parasites – you must understand how they function. It is important that you see them for the evil they  are. Understand that they are soulless and heartless beings who has no conscience, no empathy, and they are capable of destroying you and your children. Most importantly KNOW THAT THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE. YOU CANNOT HELP THEM, they DO NOT WANT HELP, THEY DO NOT THINK THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THEM. They see anyone who cares for them as a weak idiot who they can manipulate and take advantage of. They are ruthless and will destroy anyone they can to get their way or sometimes just for their own enjoyment.

The sociopath will intentionally cause you problem after problem. They want you to feel mental confusion, question your self, and in general destroy your confidence and self worth. 

They refuse to leave you alone so you can move forward and live what's left of your life, that they sociopath hasn't stolen. 

You have to be able to put your emotions aside, and “stop trying” to understand them. You will never understand them, as long as you have a conscience and you care for others. For an empath it's impossible to assimilate and comprehend how another human being can be so evil and cruel to a fellow human. 

You must Always remember you are not dealing with a normal healthy human being. You are dealing with someone who has a defective soul. These people are spectacular actors, they put on an a show to others and pretend as if they are capable of empathy, love and concern. They are liars, cheaters, and cons. They do not know how to be honest and even make an honest living. They will always be involved in something that is scamming another person, causing harm (emotional or physical) to someone. 

Sociopaths, Psychopaths and Narcissist lack EMPATHY. 

They have No empathy for any kind of life. They are empty inside, and they will never experience life on a deeper level. The sociopath is so shallow and superficial, they really believe that their materials define them. They want to dress with name brand clothing, because that is the only way they can feel good about themselves. 

Normal people feel fulfilled by their children, their family, and their interaction with other people. Not the sociopath. The sociopath must knock others down to feel successful. Destroying someone else makes them feel “on top”. Especially if they feel threatened by someone. They seek to destroy the person, and usually the person has no idea what the sociopath is doing until the damage has been done. 

The best option when dealing with a sociopathic, narcissistic ex is to BLOCK THEM FROM YOUR LIFE! Never respond to them or give them a reason to talk to you. They will bait you and they are relentless predators. 

STAY STRONG

Accusations of the disordered Ex

The Ex Spouse - There are some people (the lucky ones) who actually get along with their ex. Most of us are not so lucky....

Why can't your EX get a life? Why won't he/she just move on and leave you alone? After all he/she has remarried and claims to be so happy, especially now that you are no longer in their life...  
When your ex continues to call, text, email to tell you the what you need to do while the children are with you (as if you are so incompetent that you can't figure it out yourself) You are probably dealing with a controlling, demanding, and disordered ex. You have noticed that the intention with your ex is not good. They are not doing what they do because they truly are thinking only about the children. They are doing this, because they want to be in control of you. The ex knows you have moved on, you are happy with your new spouse. This drives your disordered ex insane (more insane than he/she already is) Scary huh.....

The mere thought of your psycho ex -- the person who lied, manipulated and ultimately left you -- is enough to make your stomach turn, even if the contact is sporadic.  It's hard to understand why they are still trying to have contact with tho everyday. You think to yourself “does my ex know what the word DIVORCE means?”
“Why is she demanding I attend her families Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Fathers Day, and Mother's Day with her”? Yes, that is exactly what I want to do on my holidays, spend time with my ex who has attempted to destroy my reputation, turn my children against my new spouse. The same person who has made one false accusation after another... (Sarcasm)

It's important to always keep in mind, YOU EX HAS A CHARACTER DISORDER. Your EX is not in touch with real human emotions, therefore they live in an altered reality than the 
rest of us.  A normal, stable person Does Not attack you one minute (in an anonomyous fashion online, or by spreading rumors to your children's school about you) then expect you to be present at their Christmas party the next. 

Sociopaths, malignant narcissist, and character disordered individuals have a convenient way of forgetting all the horrific things that they have done to you. In their whacked out brain, they truly think that if they pretend that everything is good, and they did not do anything wrong to you - That you will just go along 
with it. And sometimes we will go along with it, because it means a break from the constant drama. It means a day of peace, without the harassment. We are desperate for peace. Unfortunately when we go along with their delusions, it only compels them to continue to think they can always treat you a certain way, with no consequences. 

It is hard to stand up to your psychotic ex. You know they will make your life hell when you decide to spend time with your own family, instead of theirs on holidays. When you first stand up to them, expect to recieve calls and numerous text, about how hurt the kids are that you didn't come to Christmas. (Your ex seems to have forgotten that you have a family and the kids are coming to spend the other part of their holiday with you) REMEMBER YOUR EX WILL ALWAYS USE GUILT INORDER TO GET YOU TO DO WHAT THEY WANT. 

You know your ex is going to use guilt to try to get their way. It's important for you to stay strong. And remember it is not about the kids to them. It's about them, wanting to continue to control your life, your money, your holidays, your free time, your family — even though you are divorced. The reason you ex divorced you or you divorced them was because you no longer wanted to be together. Right? That means you no longer spend Christmas mornings together. You no longer attend their family functions, because their family is no longer your family. 

Yes, it is hard on the children. DIVORCE in general is hard on children... That is a FACT. 

When your ex decided to cheat on you with other men, or women. Were they thinking of how THAT would Hurt the children??    Of course they didn't.. But now your ex wants to tell you that you are emotionally damaging the children because you don't want to spend your Father's Day and other special holidays with them. 

So when your ex starts their usual guilt tripping, and letting you know that you are a horrible parent, and that your children are suffering because of your selfishness (because you remarried and decided to be happy) If you are a good parent, then none of it should bother you. Your ex claims that your child needs counseling because of you. When your child is with you, is your child happy? Do the children seem withdrawn or depressed when they are with you and your spouse? 
If the answer is No, then you know that your ex is the pathological liar, they have always been. Just another desperate attempts to control you. They are pathetic.

If the answer is Yes, then YOU need to get your child evaluated by a psychologist and find out why they are feeling this way. It is not because you didn't attend your exes family event, as your ex has said. If your home is a safe and healthy environment, it is important to find out what is causing the child to be withdrawn. 

Your ex is a liar. You know this. They will try to portray to you that they are the  picture perfect parent. You know better... They seem to have conveniently forgotten (again) that you use to live with them. You know behind the scenes how dysfunctional they are. They haven't made a miraculous turn-a-round. They are still dysfunctional. There is numerous people coming and going from their home. They allow their cousin who is a convicted felon to do their yard word and home repairs, for a cheap price. They are not around to supervise anything. Are the children at home alone a majority of the time?  

The more your ex is accusing you of emotionally damaging your children, you can bet it is because they are incompetent, and they think projecting their dysfunction onto you will take some of the focus off of them. 

I have seen too many times where the disordered person has emotionally abused and battered their spouse. To the point that they will not defend themselves or stand up to the disordered person. They are afraid. They have witnessed them destroy others. They know of the damage they are capable of. They know they are ruthless, heartless, and have not one Ounce of conscience in them.