The sociopath only wants to WIN

If you are a woman and are dealing with a sociopath ex. If you are lucky, your ex will find a new lover and become uninterested in seeing his children. Sociopath/narcissistic men usually are selfish and children are more of an inconvenience to them.
When a sociopathic male tries to seek custody of children , they do so because they want to either
1. Hurt the other parent.
2. If they make good money and are going to have to pay a large amount of child support.
If the sociopathic male is wealthy and has plenty of money to take you to court and fight for custody of the children - HE WILL DO SO. And of course if he is able to discredit the mother with lies and slander, and gets somewhat custody of the children, you can bet that he will not be the one who is taking care of the kids. He will have a relative take care of them or find a women who will take care of them.
He only wanted to take the children from the mother in order TO WIN.

That is what it is all about. WINNING. Male or Female. The sociopath wants to win. They want to turn you into dust. They will usually boast about how they have custody or how they are the "domiciliary" parent. They portray themselves as Mom or Dad of the year. Always talking about how they do this and that for their kids, and letting everyone know what a piece of shit the other parent is.

When dealing with a sociopath, in my experience NO CONTACT is the only option. Of course if you share children with the sociopath this becomes a bit more complicated. 

If you are a man, and you ex is a sociopath, this situation is difficult and frustrating. 
When children are younger, in order to see the children, communication will have to be made. Every interaction with the sociopath is going to be chaotic, frustrating, and stressful. 
But I can tell you that it does not have to last like this forever. 
There  is a light at the end of what seems like a very long, hopeless tunnel. 
Your children will get older. And soon you will be able to communicate directly with them. The sociopath will not like this at all. They will tell  you that you are an irresponsible parent for "using" the children to communicate with. They will give you lectures on how you should coparent with them. They will make desperate attempts to speak with you. They will use the kids to try to talk with you. They will make up lies about the children.  
Example: they will tell you that a child is having problems in school due to your lack of co-parenting, or that the child is going thru hormonal changes and they want you to talk with them about boys/girls, birds and bees, etc... Blah blah blah blah....

A close friend of mine dealt with a sociopathic ex for years, but started communicating with kids by cell phone he purchased for kids. The ex was losing control, but couldn't take kids phone because all other kids that age had phones, and she didn't want to look like the bad guy by taking it. But she was angry that she was unable to speak to him and manipulate and waste his time by using the kids. He was able to make plans to get the kids on his weekends, without having to go through the crap that came with dealing with the ex. She loved to waste his time by taking the children else where when he was suppose to pick up. 
 But if your child is able to communicate with you via cell phone/text, you will be able to confirm with them if what the other parent is telling you is true or false . 
Remember they only want direct communication with you, because without it they cannot manipulate you and use the children to waste your time and drain your energy and wallet. 

Accusations of the disordered Ex

The Ex Spouse - There are some people (the lucky ones) who actually get along with their ex. Most of us are not so lucky....

Why can't your EX get a life? Why won't he/she just move on and leave you alone? After all he/she has remarried and claims to be so happy, especially now that you are no longer in their life...  
When your ex continues to call, text, email to tell you the what you need to do while the children are with you (as if you are so incompetent that you can't figure it out yourself) You are probably dealing with a controlling, demanding, and disordered ex. You have noticed that the intention with your ex is not good. They are not doing what they do because they truly are thinking only about the children. They are doing this, because they want to be in control of you. The ex knows you have moved on, you are happy with your new spouse. This drives your disordered ex insane (more insane than he/she already is) Scary huh.....

The mere thought of your psycho ex -- the person who lied, manipulated and ultimately left you -- is enough to make your stomach turn, even if the contact is sporadic.  It's hard to understand why they are still trying to have contact with tho everyday. You think to yourself “does my ex know what the word DIVORCE means?”
“Why is she demanding I attend her families Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Fathers Day, and Mother's Day with her”? Yes, that is exactly what I want to do on my holidays, spend time with my ex who has attempted to destroy my reputation, turn my children against my new spouse. The same person who has made one false accusation after another... (Sarcasm)

It's important to always keep in mind, YOU EX HAS A CHARACTER DISORDER. Your EX is not in touch with real human emotions, therefore they live in an altered reality than the 
rest of us.  A normal, stable person Does Not attack you one minute (in an anonomyous fashion online, or by spreading rumors to your children's school about you) then expect you to be present at their Christmas party the next. 

Sociopaths, malignant narcissist, and character disordered individuals have a convenient way of forgetting all the horrific things that they have done to you. In their whacked out brain, they truly think that if they pretend that everything is good, and they did not do anything wrong to you - That you will just go along 
with it. And sometimes we will go along with it, because it means a break from the constant drama. It means a day of peace, without the harassment. We are desperate for peace. Unfortunately when we go along with their delusions, it only compels them to continue to think they can always treat you a certain way, with no consequences. 

It is hard to stand up to your psychotic ex. You know they will make your life hell when you decide to spend time with your own family, instead of theirs on holidays. When you first stand up to them, expect to recieve calls and numerous text, about how hurt the kids are that you didn't come to Christmas. (Your ex seems to have forgotten that you have a family and the kids are coming to spend the other part of their holiday with you) REMEMBER YOUR EX WILL ALWAYS USE GUILT INORDER TO GET YOU TO DO WHAT THEY WANT. 

You know your ex is going to use guilt to try to get their way. It's important for you to stay strong. And remember it is not about the kids to them. It's about them, wanting to continue to control your life, your money, your holidays, your free time, your family — even though you are divorced. The reason you ex divorced you or you divorced them was because you no longer wanted to be together. Right? That means you no longer spend Christmas mornings together. You no longer attend their family functions, because their family is no longer your family. 

Yes, it is hard on the children. DIVORCE in general is hard on children... That is a FACT. 

When your ex decided to cheat on you with other men, or women. Were they thinking of how THAT would Hurt the children??    Of course they didn't.. But now your ex wants to tell you that you are emotionally damaging the children because you don't want to spend your Father's Day and other special holidays with them. 

So when your ex starts their usual guilt tripping, and letting you know that you are a horrible parent, and that your children are suffering because of your selfishness (because you remarried and decided to be happy) If you are a good parent, then none of it should bother you. Your ex claims that your child needs counseling because of you. When your child is with you, is your child happy? Do the children seem withdrawn or depressed when they are with you and your spouse? 
If the answer is No, then you know that your ex is the pathological liar, they have always been. Just another desperate attempts to control you. They are pathetic.

If the answer is Yes, then YOU need to get your child evaluated by a psychologist and find out why they are feeling this way. It is not because you didn't attend your exes family event, as your ex has said. If your home is a safe and healthy environment, it is important to find out what is causing the child to be withdrawn. 

Your ex is a liar. You know this. They will try to portray to you that they are the  picture perfect parent. You know better... They seem to have conveniently forgotten (again) that you use to live with them. You know behind the scenes how dysfunctional they are. They haven't made a miraculous turn-a-round. They are still dysfunctional. There is numerous people coming and going from their home. They allow their cousin who is a convicted felon to do their yard word and home repairs, for a cheap price. They are not around to supervise anything. Are the children at home alone a majority of the time?  

The more your ex is accusing you of emotionally damaging your children, you can bet it is because they are incompetent, and they think projecting their dysfunction onto you will take some of the focus off of them. 

I have seen too many times where the disordered person has emotionally abused and battered their spouse. To the point that they will not defend themselves or stand up to the disordered person. They are afraid. They have witnessed them destroy others. They know of the damage they are capable of. They know they are ruthless, heartless, and have not one Ounce of conscience in them. 

Psychopaths - Lies, Rumors, and Spoof Calling

The Sociopath LOVES to spread LIES and RUMORS in order to destroy a persons reputation. They tell half truths, and distort them to make a person look mentally unstable. The sociopath doesn't even need half truths to spread a rumor. They will just tell people blatant lies about their victim. 

Here are some examples of how a sociopath twist and distorts stories to slander their victim;

You graduated from Harvard - the sociopath will tell people you never attended and your creditials are fake. 

You married at an early age - the sociopath will tell people you got pregnant and illicit drug use forced you to marry 

You bought a new car - the sociopath will tell people your old car had DNA evidence of your murder victim 

You own your home - the sociopath will tell people your swindled some retiree out of their home 

You took a vacation in Vegas - the sociopath will tell people you were laundering money for the mob. 

You are divorced - the sociopath will tell people your spouse left you for infidelity 

Your children are adults - the sociopath will tell people they are finally free from your abuse (possibly sexual abuse) 

Your friends and family love you - the sociopath will tell people they only love you cause they don't know the truth about you. 

Your dog died - the sociopath will tell people you killed your dog only after torturing it first..

And so it goes, ad infinitum... Sociopaths are extremely gifted in spinning a story about their victims in an effort to destroy any sense of credibility that they may have. 

The internet has become the sociopath/psychopaths favorite tool. They are able to destroy others under an anonymous veil. They are the most dangerous predators to the common person. They love to leave comments and make statement using ones first and last name. So when a potential employer googles the sociopaths  victim, negative statements appear. Usually statements portaying the person as “unstable”, “dangerous” and “crazy”. The sociopath usually accuses their victims of what they know they are capable of. 

The obsessed psychopath - the obsessed psychopath uses today's new technology to their advantage in destroying their victims. A psychopath "spoof" calls their victims. Spoof calling enables the phone to change the caller ID they are calling from. The psychopath may call the victim pretending to be the police or the local news. Sometimes the psychopath will call the police using the victims number. The psychopath does these things because they are vindictive and evil. They are also immature. They have no limits to what they will do to destroy someone they view as a threat.