Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Starting to Heal
Psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissist, any cluster B anti-social personality disordered individual, destroy lives. They are parasites, that attach themselves to their host (you) and suck the life out of you.
Those who survive a relationship with one of these disordered people, suffer greatly.
All of us survivors have a lot in common.. The lies, manipulations, the slow realization that our partner is a monster, and for most of us the sudden truth that the person you thought you were in love with, is not the person you thought they were. It is a horrible despairing feeling. It's hard to accept that the person you have spent so much time with has no conscience. No loyalty to you. No loyalty to anybody...
You feel you have been tricked. You feel foolish. You may even question your own self worth..
Your self worth, self esteem and confidence is at stake when you are in a relationship with a sociopath, narcissist or any other person with APD (anti-social personality).
It becomes more so when you try to end the relationship with them. Or they decide you have served your purpose and no longer need you so they non-chalantly discard you.
When the relationship or marriage is over. You may have survived. But there is still much healing you have left to do.
In my blog I have discussed many of the nasty things that the sociopath/narcissist do and the toxicity they create in lives.
This second part of this year, I am going to be more focused on how we can heal ourselves. How we can restore our true self, that has been stolen from us. How we can finally move forward with our life. It feels hopeless at times (especially if you share a child or children with one of these monsters - they may discard you but they enjoy causing you pain. They never want you to be happy and they do this by using your children against you)
Healing from the abuse and betrayal of a disordered person can be difficult, because in your fight to survive, you have become drained, and exhausted. You can't remember anything positive or any happy times. You may have fallen into a deep depression. And you are just living your life on auto pilot. You barely get out, because you have lost most of your confidence. The world is a scary place. It's a lonely feeling. You may isolate because the sociopath has launched such a nasty smear campaign against you. You don't know if anyone believes the lies the sociopath has said to others about you. You feel safe in your home, and you can't find the strength to leave your safe place.
Feeling this way is ok - for a little while. But it is so important that you regain your self worth back. You cannot do that if you do not interact with others. People need to see that you are ok, and if they have heard nasty rumors about you (spread by your abuser) - by getting out and showing up, people will see you are not crazy or unstable as the sociopath has told many. There is no need to bash the sociopath. There is no need to even bring them up. Talking about them and how they wronged you, can rehash all those feelings of despair and hopelessness. The point of going out is to move on with your life. Constantly talking about how your ex tried to destroy you, and spreads dirty lies about you - still gives the sociopath Power Over You. Because you are still letting them control you, even when they are not around. You have to take YOUR power back. By eliminating the sociopath completely from every aspect of your life.