Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Narcissist are extremely abusive. Emotionally, mentally and even physically.
It's hard to leave a narcissist – because after years of mental abuse. You become brainwashed by the narcissist. You feel you need the narcissist, you recognize the relationship is not healthy. But you believe that one day they will change. You hope that they will realize how much you love them and that they will change for you.
Unfortunately the narcissist will never change. The narcissist does not want to change. The narcissist does not believe they are to blame for anything. It's always YOUR fault as far as the Narcissist is concerned.
If you ever have tried to leave the narcissist. You know that they will pursue you. They all the suddenly become the person you want them to be, for a short period of time. They treat you with love and care. They tell you they are sorry for what they have done. You believe them, because you want to believe that they are capable of being a good person, a good boyfriend, a good husband. But unfortunately their kindness is short-lived...
As soon as they know they have you back, the old behaviors begin to rear their ugly head. You catch them in lies, they deny anything you ask them. You suspect them of cheating again, they adamantly deny it. They have done it before, so you know they can do it again. And the narcissist will.
You may think you need to narcissist, but in fact it is the narcissist that needs you. They need you to feed them their narcissistic supply. If you are not giving them the narcissistic supply that they need, they have no problem finding someone who will.
Narcissist love to cheat on their partners with strippers, prostitutes, anyone who will make you question your own self. Many women ask themselves "why would he cheat on me with someone like that". Many women feel they are to blame for their partners infidelities. Maybe they feel they were not meeting their partners needs. This kind of thinking is exactly what the narcissist wants you to think. When you have been a good girlfriend, wife, or partner to the narcissist. The narcissist knows that he must keep you feeling inferior to him in order for you to do what he says.
Some people leave their narcissistic partners, others do not.
It can take years and years to recover from the mental abuse the narcissist inflicts. Your self-esteem is shattered, your confidence is gone, and you feel very alone. You feel depressed and defeated because you have wasted a majority of your life, that you will never get back on the narcissist. While you are in a pit of despair, the narcissist is doing what he does best. He is out with his fake friends, hooking up with women, and acting as if the breakup between the two of you has no effect on him. Honestly the breakup does not have an effect on him, because he lacks the ability to feel empathy for anyone but himself. He actually blames you for the demise of the relationship.
Once the narcissist realizes that he cannot get you back, he stops pretending to care and the real monster comes out. You see who he really is, and you have seen this before. He is cold, mean, and has no sympathy, and no remorse. This person is the real person. Any kindness he had ever shown was just an act, it wasn't real.
You must know you did not waste your life. You were manipulated by one of the best. Even if you only live one more day. It is a day well lived once the narcissist is out of your life. But once you realize that, you will live many well lived days.