Sociopaths And Stalking

Sociopaths stalk their victims and exes because they feel as if their victim belongs to them. They see their victim not as a human being but as a ‘material possession’. 

This story is from a friend of mine who has been dealing with a sociopathic ex now for over 12 years. 

It can be quite a scary experience for the victim. Sociopaths stalk in different ways. Some in personate their victim online to destroy their victims reputation. Others keep up with their victims online activity. And the real psychotic sociopaths actually follow their victim. Making the victim feel their life and the life of their children is in danger. 

Stalking is a crime in most states. But unfortunately by the time police interact the victim has usually been harmed.

When my ex stalked me, she also stalked my new girlfriend who is now my wife. She kept up with my online activity. And also my wife's. She would get information from our children about what we did at home we are we were going. It became to the point where I could not tell my own children basic things because I was afraid the information would get back to my psychopathic ex. 

She really targeted my wife, by impersonating her online. She started a blog pretending to be my wife and pretending to have an in mental illness. She wanted other people to believe that it was my wife who made the blog and was looking for help for ‘borderline personality disorder’. 

My ex-wife has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, when her mother made her see a psychiatrist or else she would cut off her from the money she gave her monthly. I don't believe that she has borderline personality disorder. I believe that she is a sociopath, a common every day sociopath. - this is just my opinion from what I know of her.   

I have had emails made up in my name. I have had credit cards in my name that my ex-wife applied for. She has financially done everything she possibly could to destroy me. 

I have had no contact with my ex-wife now for over a year. But that does not stop her from continuingly contacting me. She gives our children notes for me to read. I do not read them throw them away. She believes that I am her material possession and I ‘owe’ her my loyalty. 

Even though when we were married she was anything but loyal. 

It seems to me that sociopaths have a really “bad” memory. When it comes to remembering the cheating and lying they do. But they have an excellent memory when it comes to bringing up any small mistake you have made, or any kind of help/service they “think” they did for you. For instance - the 1995 model Lexus that I drove for years was in my ex wife's names, she still continues to bring up “that if it weren't for her I wouldn't have had a car to drive”. Though I gave that car back to her 7 years ago when she didn't have a car due to all the accidents she had. Yet she is still bringing it up. 

She got extremely angry when I bought my wife a new car. I simply told her, “that's my wife, it's not your business, tell your husband to buy you a car if you need one". As she had remarried as soon as our divorce finalized to the man she was cheating with so long. 

My children are almost adults (17 and 15). My daughter is responsible and has a car of her own now. Even though I was always planning to buy her a car, my ex wife's mother bought her the car. 

It's just another thing that my ex wife throws in my face. “What father doesn't buy his child a car on her 16th birthday?!” 

I wasn't given the option to even get my daughter a new car. Yet my ex wife is constantly telling anyone who will listen, what a piece of sh*t father I am. How I have completely abandoned my children, for my “new family”. Which could not be further from the truth. 

My daughter is on our insurance policy. I have paid my ex wife $3500 monthly since the day she said she was going to work out of town (she was really going to the Bahamas with her married boyfriend). She left me to take care of our then young children. I still had to work. It was hard for me, but I stepped up and did it. My children remember that. Though they rarely bring it up. 

I have never spread rumors about my ex wife. I remain Anonymous if I speak of my experience. Just as I am remaining anonymous on this blog post. 

I wish I could tell readers that this story has a happy ending. Unfortunately I cannot though. Even after being divorced for over 10 years, she has not stopped any of her craziness. 

I no longer try to please her, or give in to her, just for a day or two of peace. I realize that nothing I do will ever be enough. So when she tells people what a crappy father I am, I no longer get upset. My children know I am a good father. I support them emotionally, financially, and in any way they need me. My daughter now 17, comes over to spend time with us every week, and she brings her 15 year old brother. 

My ex wife wants to punish me. For what, I don't know. She cheated and left on her own. I was too busy caring for our young children to get angry or ‘revenge’.

It seems as though when I remarried, that is what really angered her. I suppose she feared that I would no longer be her puppet, and my new wife would influence me and point out that the way my ex treated me was not appropriate or right. And she was right.

I stopped allowing my ex wife to verbally abuse me and steal from me.

This has angered my ex, she really believed that she would be able to control me until the day I died. 

Unfortunately the only people who are really suffering from my ex-wife's a erratic and irrational behavior is our children. 

But fortunately my children have turned out to be wonderful, amazing, and brilliant little adults. It amazes me everyday at how smart and sweet they are. They have been through so much. 

My ex wife tells them terrible things about me and my wife. The children have chosen to make up their own minds about me and their step mother.  They see our actions, and how we do not speak ill of their mother, and we are consistent. 

I know that by having children with a sociopath, that my life will always have some sort of drama. My children will marry one day and have children and I  sure my ex wife will use what is suppose to be a wonderful occasions to make life unbearable. 

 

CYBERSTALKING LAWS

CYBERSTALKING 

If you are a victim of cyber stalking, cyber bullying, online harassment, such as impersonation, defamation, slander, bullying. 

Click on the site below to check out the CYBER STALKING LAWS in your state. 

http://www.ncsl.org/research/telecommunications-and-information-technology/cyberstalking-and-cyberharassment-laws.aspx

Psychopaths - Lies, Rumors, and Spoof Calling

The Sociopath LOVES to spread LIES and RUMORS in order to destroy a persons reputation. They tell half truths, and distort them to make a person look mentally unstable. The sociopath doesn't even need half truths to spread a rumor. They will just tell people blatant lies about their victim. 

Here are some examples of how a sociopath twist and distorts stories to slander their victim;

You graduated from Harvard - the sociopath will tell people you never attended and your creditials are fake. 

You married at an early age - the sociopath will tell people you got pregnant and illicit drug use forced you to marry 

You bought a new car - the sociopath will tell people your old car had DNA evidence of your murder victim 

You own your home - the sociopath will tell people your swindled some retiree out of their home 

You took a vacation in Vegas - the sociopath will tell people you were laundering money for the mob. 

You are divorced - the sociopath will tell people your spouse left you for infidelity 

Your children are adults - the sociopath will tell people they are finally free from your abuse (possibly sexual abuse) 

Your friends and family love you - the sociopath will tell people they only love you cause they don't know the truth about you. 

Your dog died - the sociopath will tell people you killed your dog only after torturing it first..

And so it goes, ad infinitum... Sociopaths are extremely gifted in spinning a story about their victims in an effort to destroy any sense of credibility that they may have. 

The internet has become the sociopath/psychopaths favorite tool. They are able to destroy others under an anonymous veil. They are the most dangerous predators to the common person. They love to leave comments and make statement using ones first and last name. So when a potential employer googles the sociopaths  victim, negative statements appear. Usually statements portaying the person as “unstable”, “dangerous” and “crazy”. The sociopath usually accuses their victims of what they know they are capable of. 

The obsessed psychopath - the obsessed psychopath uses today's new technology to their advantage in destroying their victims. A psychopath "spoof" calls their victims. Spoof calling enables the phone to change the caller ID they are calling from. The psychopath may call the victim pretending to be the police or the local news. Sometimes the psychopath will call the police using the victims number. The psychopath does these things because they are vindictive and evil. They are also immature. They have no limits to what they will do to destroy someone they view as a threat. 

The Obsessed, Dangerous, and Desperate Sociopath

Sociopaths are toxic. They destroy others. They inflict emotional harm on family, ex spouses, spouses, children, and even strangers. Sociopaths will never leave you alone. Most ex spouses of a sociopath will usually  try to have "NO CONTACT" because of the harassment they receive on an everyday basis. 

The sociopath will obsessively call, text, email and harass. It can become so frequent, it disrupts the victims work, personal life, and peace. 

No Contact Does Not Always Work

Even when the victim establishes no contact with the sociopath, refusing to return or answer calls, not responding to text messages, or emails. The sociopath does not always get bored with you, and move on to their next victim. Sometimes they become obsessed with you. They will become desperate just to get a tiny response from you. They will make up lies to try to get a response. Some will tell you that they have a terminal illness (such as stage 4 ovarian cancer). Knowing you are not a monster, you probably will respond, because a normal person with a normal brain, will feel sad, and guilty to ignore someone who is supposedly “dying” . A person with an abnormal brain, that lacks so conscience and no heart is the only kind of person who will tell you they are dying when they are not, just to get you to respond. 

Why does a sociopath go to such extremes just to get a response?

                 CONTROL

The sociopath wants control. They had control over you at one time and they intended on keeping control over you. So when you move on with your life, and no longer allow the sociopath to control your life. They become desperate to get that control back. The sociopath can become most dangerous when they become obsessed with you. Most sociopaths go their entire life, and never kill anyone. Although they make life hell, and ruin many people. Many do not ever murder. An obsessed sociopath is dangerous because the fact is, they do not have a conscience. Since it is our conscience that keeps us from doing awful things to others, the sociopath is capable of almost anything. When a sociopath is stalking you, and has become obsessed with you. It's important that you live cautiously. Never forget what you are dealing with... A monster..

When you are the victim of a sociopath who is obsessed with controlling you, even though you ended the relationship. It's important to try to stay one step ahead of them. This can be difficult and exhausting, and not recommended, unless you feel you are being stalked by the sociopath. Being involved or around a sociopath for a long time, you will be able to see the patterns and can predict  some of their manipulation patterns and behaviors. Trying to stay one step ahead of the sociopath will eventually wreak havoc on your own sanity and health. So it is best to contact your local police department, let them be aware of the harassment. 

Most importantly DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT everything. Save emails, text, and record any phone calls, save any voice mails. You may need these things in order to file a protective order or restraining order against the sociopath, when they will not leave you alone. 

The sociopath will always have what seems to be a valid excuse to contact you. If you have children with the sociopath, the harassment you will get from the sociopath can cause stress, anger, frustration, depression, and even physical illness. Having children gives the sociopath a reason to contact you everyday.. Even though there is no reason to actually speak to your ex EVERY SINGLE DAY, the sociopath will find one – the children –

The sociopath is going to call, text and email just to bother you and annoy you most of the time. Sending text so minuscule like "Suzie has a dentist appointment today, and she is very scared of going" or "Bobby has a test in science and is worried he will fail". The strangest thing is when you speak with your children you will usually find out that Susie never went to the dentist. And bobby wasn't worried about a science test. The sociopath has no rhyme or reason why they send you text that are random and made up. It is just to disrupt your day. They hope you will respond, become upset (that your children are worried).

The sociopath loves keeping you on your toes and causing drama in your life. Even when you have moved on and they have moved on. They still want to bother you just because they can. They want to be able to feel that they have that control over you. They need to know that if they want to, they can disrupt your mind state, foil your plans, stress you out, cause chaos in your life, and control your emotions. 

They do this because they are disturbed people. They are desperate and pathetic. They do not realize what they are doing is harming their children emotionally. Most of the time the parent who is being harassed on a daily basis. Will feel anxiety and fear about having to deal with their ex spouse. They want to avoid the ex. Because of the constant contact and harassment. This affects the children, because they may not be able to see both parents as much. THE SOCIOPATH MAKES GETTING THE CHILDREN SO DIFFICULT, and So STRESSFUL. The other parent shuts down. They are emotionally drained after dealing with a psycho for so long. They even suffer from a form of Emotional PTSD. 

Once the sociopath sees that their ex is avoiding them. They will push even more. By be-littling, degrading, putting down, trying to instill shame and guilt about not being a good parent. How the children are embarrassed by their family and it is all that parents fault, because of the lack of co parenting. It is all a ploy to get control and to get that response. 

The best thing the parent who is being harassed can do is; do right by your children when they are with you. Know that you cannot control what the sociopath does. Taking the sociopath to court will only make the situation worse. Sociopaths are able to work the legal system and you will probably lose that battle. So don't take them to court unless you feel the children are being physically or sexually abused. Do the best you can for your children when they are in your care. DO NOT EVER speak negatively of the sociopathic parent. Just be the best parent you can be. 

AND ABOVE ALL IGNORE THE SOCIOPATH, CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IF YOU MUST. 

**NEVER ALLOW THE SOCIOPATH TO AFFECT YOUR LIFE, IT IS HARD BUT IF YOU MAINTAIN NO CONTACT THEN THEY ARE BASICALLY HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THEMSELF EVERYTIME THEY CALL AND LEAVE A MESSAGE Or TEXT YOU 

When the Sociopath won't Go Away!

The Sociopath is a Toxic individual with no remorse for what they do to others. The most harm is usually to the people they "say" the Love. 

The toxic person doesn’t truly care about anyone but themselves — they just want to keep others around to feed on emotionally, and when a person they think should do everything they ask (regardless if they are still in a relationship with them) decide to go NO CONTACT -- they don’t plan on letting that person get away that easily.

Many female sociopaths have traits of borderline, narcissistic, antisocial or histrionic personality disorder.  People with Dependent Personality Disorder may also resemble a toxic sociopath as well, the difference is the sociopath is truly evil, the dependent person is just needy and afraid to be alone. (Read my other post about when you are the target of a sociopath, they mention many if the tactics the sociopath does to destroy, the dependent disordered person doesn't do these things. I.e. - spreading vicious rumors to destroy your reputation, that is a sociopathic trait only) j

When a sociopath ends a relationship with you, and they still feel that you "owe" them something (usually this is when you share children with them). They will never leave you alone. They always need more money, but no matter how much money you give them, it will never be enough. Sadly even when the children turn into adults, the sociopath will still find reasons to contact you. They pretend it's about your adult children. When in reality they are actually just probably bored... Yes bored... It is pathetic but true..

Sociopaths manipulate to gain control over you and if you have choose to distance yourself from them, they will become desperate to make contact. Below are some of the tactics they may use:

~ Ignoring your requests to stop texting or calling you, pretending as if nothing has happened. When they cheat, they will give you space for a few weeks, then after they think enough time has gone by (to a sociopath, since they have no genuine feelings or emotions, they don't understand that cheating is so hurtful and trust Is so broken, that it can't be fixed with time) so they attempt to continue on as if nothing has changed. 

~ Asking you when you’re going to “get over it” and start being normal again. 

~ Sending you a Fake Apology to give you hope that things have changed. If you are really done with the sociopath, you will able to see right through this, and won't fall for any apology. Sociopaths usually won't apologize, they may say something like “let's wipe the slate clean for the children's sake” or “we have both done things to hurt each other, let's be civil to one another”. Knowing they are the one who has done 99.99999% of the hurting..

~ Trying to trick you into contact by saying someone needs you, is sick, or in trouble. {sociopaths 
love the drama of someone being sick or dying, so when someone really is sick or dying, they use it 

to their advantage}. If no one is sick or dying they just make it up. 

~ Saying they’re worried about you, concerned about whether you’re okay, need to know where you are, they feel you are not acting normal... They are worried for your safety. 

~ Sending unwanted cards, messages and gifts. They will send gifts from your children, as they know you are likely to feel guilty about not taking a gift from your kids. Don’t allow this – exposing your children to manipulation is far worse!

~ Constantly telling that this or that is still at the house you may have shared and they need to come get it back. Never let them back in your home. Make sure anything they left - you return to them. EVERYTHING!  

~ Baiting you with drama games. Especially if you share children. Everyday there will be a new problem with the children. Especially as the children get older. They start losing control of the children and you. So they will tell you your child is going through a "tween depression" and it's important for the child to see his parents together and getting alone. Or they will say "Sally failed her driving test and is devastated and crying and has lost all confidence, please be there for your 
daughter!" When you call to check on your child, she is not devastated or crying. She didn't even take the driving test yet... Sociopaths will lie about everything. They feel confident you won't confront 
them. 

~ Contacting you about “important” things they “forgot” and suddenly have to tell you. Those "important" things are usually lies. Remember the sociopath Lies just to Lie. There is no rhyme or reason behind most of their lies. They are just really crazy and messed up.   No one understands why they lie and make up story's when there is nothing to gain from the lie - again they are usually bored.... 

If you have told someone you do not want contact, and they continue to bother you, that is harassment and the police should be able to help you. They are well-accustomed to dealing with skillful manipulators and have many ways of handling them, so do not hesitate to ask for help. If you ever feel that someone you are trying to break off a relationship with may be capable of more than simply annoying you mildly, make sure you make authorities aware of this person and how they are stalking or harassing you, before the sociopath decides to play victim and talks to your local police first, and tells them lies about you, therefore when you threaten them with calling police, they don't care because they have a plan for that.  (And remember, you have nothing to be ashamed about; you’re not the one behaving badly, and the police are there to protect you from abuse.) 

You must Never Under Estimate a Sociopath, do not give them the benefit of the doubt. Once you realize the person you thought you knew, doesn't exist, and the person you have been in a relationship with is a monster, it will be hard to accept. But the sooner you accept it, the safer you will be. 
They have no conscience telling them to not do something because it's wrong, they feel no remorse after they have destroyed lives. They are hard wired to manipulate, lie and deceive. Especially empathic people. They believe that if you are sensitive and care, you are weak. And they target the weak and the vulnerable.