The Borderline Psychopath

The female sociopath can be the most difficult and exhausting of personality disordered women to deal with. "Borderline psychopath" is usually the diagnosis a psychiatrist will give to the female sociopath. Female sociopaths are much more spiteful, vindictive and manipulation than their male counterpart. Women are 3 times more likely to be diagnosed as a “borderline psychopath” than men. 

Borderline psychopaths are mean, conniving, hateful, vengeful, superficial, ruthless and dangerous. They are the like sociopaths, having no conscience, no remorse, and no empathy for life, but the borderline psychopath is worse. 

They want to be in control and are demanding. Most of them are attention seekers. Any relationship (lovers, family or the few friends the sociopath may have) are constantly having to deal with the consequences of “knowing” this unstable & unpredictable woman. They create problems, they stir up drama, and they never take responsibility for their behaviors. 

Female sociopaths are relentless, they will tear the victim to shreds given over time. Their goal is destroy the persons self esteem, and confidence. So that they can more easily control and influence their victim.

It's very hard to deal with these types. The best way is to not deal with them. Be courteous if you were to see them, but limite any contact with them. If they are trying to contact you, they will use any strategy they can think of to get you to respond. If you have children with this person (God bless your soul) then you can expect them to make up lies about the children to try to guilt you to respond to them. *Remember most everything they tell you will BE A LIE, it's just a desperate attempt to get you to talk to them*. Why? 

Because it's all about control. If you are limiting your contact with the borderline psychopath. They are not in control of you. They want to have that control of you. Either because at one time they had that control, and they feel you are a possession they rightfully own. They don't see you as a human being. But more as an object to be used to their expense. The best thing for you to do is ignore them and have little to No contact with them. This doesn't necessarily mean they will leave you alone, a good friend of mine still receives 10-20 text messages a day from his borderline psyhotic ex wife. And he hasn't responded in over 2 years. Yet her relentlessness and desperation continues. Everything from one of the kids have depression due to his lack of responding, to cancer. Yet he does not fight with her, he just refuses to be manipulated and controlled. From the kids point of view they would never see their parents fighting. The borderline psychopath has more than likely told the children that their father will not get along with her and she is trying so hard to get along with him - poor poor victim - she is always the victim. When the reality is, he is simply limiting his contact. The borderline psychopath will try every trick she can to get a response. 

The borderline psychopath and the sociopathic female will spread all kinds of lies and nasty rumors (this is something she is notorious for) and she has usually been doing this since  childhood.  She is an accomplished liar and professional cheater, she is always looking for the easier road to travel (she is lazy). Her kind of personality does not know anything about honesty. They have perfected conniving and manipulation with a malicious intent. 

Female sociopaths have an uncanny ability to find a character flaw in their target that can be exploited to destroy whoever they feel is a threat to their control and power. 

Women are usually more co-operative and caring. But not the female sociopath (borderline psychopath). They do not feel any empathy towards their victims. They do not feel bad about bullying and destroying people. They are seeking dominance and control. Women are usually mothers, nurturers and caregivers. Not the female sociopath.

Many people do not realize how emotionally and mentally damaging this particular type of woman can be. She is cold hearted and ruthless, while pretending to be so compassionate. She will always tell her sad story. Like how her mother neglected her as a child, and her ex husband was an abusive alcoholic who took advantage of her kindness. If you think you might be dealing with one of these women, watch how she claims to be the victim of everyone else, but notice how aggressive she is going about it. 

Real Victims are not aggressive and vengeful. Real victims are focused on how they heal from the abuse they suffered. They are not looking for pity or retribution. Real victims are looking for peace of mind and recovery. Real victims rarely talk about how they were abused, and rarely mention their abusers name. 

While the borderline psychopath is looking to defame and destroy the reputation of their victim by vilifying them and accusing them of heinous and horrific behaviors. Usually the borderline psychopath will accuse their victim of acts that they themselves are guilty of. I.E. — stalking, cyber bullying, obsession, verbal abuse, impersonation, character assassination, etc.... 

Female Sociopaths are difficult to spot because most of them are incredibly good at hiding their true self and their motives. It is really difficult to believe the extent that the sociopath will go to, in order to destroy their target. The dirty tricks and unproven rumors that female sociopath/borderline psychopath  regularly uses against their victims can be devastating. 

The female sociopath is an out of control individual, she manipulates and punishes at will. Unfortunately the female sociopath is described as the vindictive or alienating abusive ex-wife. Who uses the children to manipulate and control her ex-husband. The children are passed around to relatives and friends like a rag doll, in order to keep them away from their father, only so the sociopath can say what a shit father he is. Until the sociopath gets what she wants she will use her children against their father, in another desperate attempt to gain control over him. 

Unfortunately this does not end when the children are of legal age, the female sociopath will still try to use them against her ex-husband, even when they are adults. Most cases I have seen either end with the adult children seeing what their mother is doing and eventually they will refuse to have anymore contact with her.  Or sadly, they fall into the trap the mother has set, and the father has no relationship with his adult children. 

The children who take the side of  their sociopathic mother can end up as crazy as she is. On a positive note, the father usually ends up ok, despite a few psychological wounds (that can be healed). He has dealt with this raging lunatic for decades. He has been insulted, manipulated, and verbally abused by her. It usually comes as no surprise to him that his ex has turned his children against him. The man has usually remarried a supportive, and caring woman (opposite of his psychopathic ex-wife). He is able to move forward and accept the situation that his vindictive ex-wife has created. He is able to accept the loss, because he is emotionally mature enough to realize that there is NOTHING he can do to change anything.  The ex has lied and brainwashed the children for years. He is just too physically & emotionally exhausted. He has no fight left.   So he chooses to invest the little energy he has left on his current family. He usually can see that fighting with a borderline psychopath (his ex) is useless. She is evil, and she wants him to pay (as if he hasn't paid enough, when she cheated and lied to him for years). 

She is so delusional that after playing the victim for so long she actually believes she is the victim. Trait of a truly psychotic and dangerous woman. 

They put others down - to make them look better

Sociopaths think that in order to make themselves look better, they must make others look bad. Sociopaths boost their egos by putting others down. The confident and arrogant act the sociopath, is just that — An Act.. They are actually self-centered individuals. The feel greed, rage, and jealousy.                             

They want what they don't have. They are not grateful for the things that they do have. They are always jealous of family members, such as a sister or brother, their own mother, any step or half siblings. Sociopath can even become jealous of their own children – if the child shines brighter than the sociopath. 

Sociopath usually befriend people that they think they can dominate - i.e. – caring, empathic people, nice guys. Basically anyone who has a good conscience and is not confrontational.  

The Nice Guy - Nice guys are easy targets for the female sociopath. They are  easy prey for the sociopath. The relationship will start out with the sociopath being nice. Always telling you how sweet and nice you are. As the relationship goes on, she will randomly be nasty and mean. Pretty soon the nastiness and mean performances become more frequent. Before you know it you are trapped in a negative, unloving, and exploitive life. While the sociopath disappears for days at a time. Leaving you to care for any children and household responsibilities. If the sociopath works – don't expect her to put any of her money in the bankin account and contribute to the house bills. She becomes ruthless and cold toward you. But she has ripped your self worth into shreds, so much so – you don't have the strength to confront her anymore. 

Female sociopaths are just as predatory as the male sociopath. They are just more covert about how they destroy you.

All sociopaths have a lifelong history of lying, manipulating, using, ending relationships abruptly - without any warning, distorts facts, shows no remorse, use children to manipulate, vilifying victims, does not get along with family members, always is in conflict with someone and always the victim. 

Sociopathic individuals do horrible things, destroy lives and families. They feel no remorse for anything they do. They leave a trail of shit behind them, expecting someone else to clean it up. They cheat, they lie, they abuse and they use the innocence of children to exploit others. 

They are the worst people in the world. They are capable of killing, although most never do. They kill your spirit and slaughter you emotionally but they won't physically kill you- usually. There of course is always exceptions 

Traits of a Victim

Being a victim of a malicious sociopath is devastating. Surviving the after math of the sociopath is even more so.. 

Usually the victim is so broken and beaten down by the sociopath, once the sociopath has drained the life and finances out of their target, they dispose of them like garbage. Leaving their victim confused, depressed, and without any closure. 

The victim must become the survivor

In order to heal from the devastation of a sociopath. The victim must cut off any and all contact from the sociopath, the hope that they will ever get closure, and any desire to get revenge on the sociopath. 

After the pain and hurt is gone, it is quickly replaced with anger. It's important to not live in denial of what happened, but more important to let go of the anger towards the sociopath. This means not seeking revenge in any form. Any revenge on the sociopath will probably blow up in your face. The sociopath is a skilled con artist and an excellent liar. They have been using and abusing people their whole life. Hurting others comes as natural as breathing to a sociopath. It's hard wired in their brains to manipulate, lie and cheat in order to get what they want. They do not have a functioning conscience, so any pain they inflict onto any living thing will not cause them to lose sleep at night 

I came across this website -sociopathicstyle.com 

They define the "traits of a victim" as

 

• A belief that if you love enough the person will change
• A belief that if you love enough the relationship will succeed
• Difficulty establishing and maintaining boundaries
• Not being able to say no
• Being easily influenced by others
• Wanting to be rescued from your life situation
• Wanting to rescue others from their distress
• Being over (sic) nurturing particularly when not asked
• Feelings of shame and self doubt
• Low self esteem
• A lack of memories about childhood or periods of adulthood
• Shyness
• Difficulty communicating
• A lack of self confidence
• Wanting to please
• A lack of motivation from within and being motivated by what others want

You can decide to be a Survivor. You do not have to be a victim forever. It's being able learn from your mistakes. And become the person you are destined to be. The sociopath always tries to steal what you have, the light in your eyes... They do not have a light in their eyes like you, that is why they have to take yours. 

You must get the sociopath out of your life, and any other toxic people that are draining your energy, time, finances, and life out of you. 

Domination • Power • Control

Sociopaths never really let go of their ex's. 

They hang on to their ex by using the children as their Weapons of Mass Destruction. The use the excuse of wanting to co-parent with their ex – all while undermining their ex's ability to co-parent. These types are impossible to co-parent with. They are demanding. Their expectations are unrealistic. They expect you to follow their rules, yet they don't follow of them. 

Convicted criminals who steal out of necessity, or shoot someone who tries to fight them off in a robbery, or commit murder for anger or revenge are better than the sociopath/psychopath. 

The criminal isn’t a threat to anyone else because he doesn’t go around wishing to hurt others or see harm come to them. 

But the sociopath does - in every waking moment of her sad, sorry existence. The sociopath is a dangerous, a disease spreading low-life. She is the driving force behind her predation is insecurity, greed, entitlement and covetousness. 

Remember; she's not normal. She's incapable of love, sincerity, and in general being a 'good' person. She is incompetent that is why she must take from others to even the score....

The sociopath is spiteful and seeks to destroy you before it's all over with. 

Her objective is CONTROL, POWER and DOMINATION. 

She gets pleasure causing the downfall of others. 

She is socially, morally, and psychologically retarded. 

Although is able to project an image of a perfect person with the perfect life. She is only pretending, she is unable to feel any other emotion than jealousy and hate. She can pretend to be kind and compassionate to ones face —but will stab anyone in the back (even her own mother, sister, relative, children and especially her spouse.). The sociopath starts by starting vicious lies and spreading these rumors to anyone and everyone. She will do anything to destroy ones reputation. She is an online predator, trolling the internet hoping to find a loyal follower to help her spread her venom  anonymously. She doesnt even tell half truths - but she spreads bold face lies so the world will see them. This is how the female sociopath operates. She seeks to destroy a persons reputation.

There are a few reasons she does this:

1. She is jealous or envies her target and want to sabatoge any kind of success the target may have 

2.  She fears that she will be exposed for the ruthless, lying, spiteful, vindictive person she is. So she projects all of her insecurities and fears onto another her target/victim - so the negative attention will not be focused on her 

3. She is just plain EVIL. She gets pleasure from destroying someone. It make her feel powerful and in control. 

Let's face the facts here — THE SOCIOPATH LIVES A SAD LIFE. If you take away the sociopaths only reason for living – which is to hurt others. What else would they have to do...

NOTHING...

The sociopaths existence— There existence is of little important in this world. They contribute nothing to society, nothing to their family and children. They take take take but never give anythjng back. EVER. 

The sociopath will NEVER CHANGE. Ever! 

They will tell you they want to change (if caught beyond denial). But don't expect an genuine apology from the sociopath. They only lie and say what needs to be said in order to fool you again.. 

If you have been the victim of a sociopath - DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. You only fell into the same trap that many others before you have fallen into. 

Sociopaths can be so charming at first. Then after a while they turn on you like a snake.

All the things that have happened to me have happened for a reason. I'm not sure yet why, and still I don't not know the reasons. I do know that dealing with a sociopath  will drain the life right out of you. The sociopath is the ugliest of bullies, because she vilifies her victim. All sociopaths are  manipulative, and pathological liars. They are devoid of a spirit and a conscience. Being targeted by one can either make or break  you. 

I see all my dealings with the female sociopath as a hard lesson learned. Being involved with such a conning and dangerous predator teaches us lessons. We can choose to live in denial about what they did to us. Or we can choose to speak out about what has happened to us. It hurts to be betrayed by anyone who you 'assumed' loved you. But you were betrayed by one of the best con-artist there is.

You should NEVER FEEL EMBARRASSED OR ASHAMED FOR WHAT THE SOCIOPATH DID TO YOU. You ARE NOT at Fault. 

You've been betrayed, beaten down mentally and verbally by Evil. You are a victim. 

The truth always comes out...eventually. Don't try to expose the sociopath, it will blow up in your face. Soon enough the sociopath always hang herself with her own rope. 

IT IS IMPORTANT to GRIEVE but  DO NOT STAY IN “VICTIM MODE” TO LONG. Victim mode is ok for a short period of time. THEN YOU MUST LET GO OF BEING A VICTIM, AND MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE AND BECOME A SURVIVOR.

Forget about Retaliation and Revenge. It will consume you and turn you into a bitter, angry person. 

The Best way to Heal is to Live Well. And never take anything for granted. Surround yourself with the people who love you. 

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. 

YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE. HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.   

STALKERS

Stalkers are disturbed people. They do not consider the rights of others. They violate boundaries, the cause problems, the inflict fear on their victims. They intentionally do malicious things to interfere in their victims life. 

Being stalked can be frightening and horrifying for the victim. The stalker has shown how unstable, and out of touch with reality they really are. So a person who is being stalked via; online, followed, harassed by text messages, phone calls, threats, showing up to their work or home, lying about the victim is very afraid of what the stalker is capable of doing to them next. So the victim lives in fear and after a while becomes withdrawn and can become very depressed. 

Stalkers have usually been involved in an intimate relationship with their victim. Stalkers will often stalk the new person in their victims life I.E. - the new girlfriend/wife, new boyfriend/husband. Often the stalker begins obsessing over their victim once they begin to lose control over them, even if the stalker is the one that has ended the relationship — that's how mentally screwed up stalkers are...  

A person who stalks former spouses or intimate partners, are often domineering and abusive to their partners during the relationship and use this domination as a way to bolster their own low self- esteem.

The stalker wants one thing CONTROL. They use the children to try to exert control over their ex. This gives them a feeling of power they can’t find anywhere else. They tried to control every aspect of their partner’s lives when the relationship was active and they continue to try to control their partner EVEN AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE has ENDED.. 

The stalkers worst fear is losing control over people over whom they use to have control over..

The stalker suffers from extreme mental instability and personality disorders. Anti-Social personality disorders such as borderline, sociopathic, narcissistic, histrionic, and psychopathic. These individuals are emotionally immature, extremely jealous, insecure, have low self-esteem . 

These people have a distorted view of reality. They feel they have the right to control someone just because they use to be in a 'relationship'. They want to be in control. They feel that their ex (especially if children are involved) are endowed to them for the rest of their life - simply because they share kids. When the individual refuses to let their stalking ex control them – the stalker uses the children in order to gain back control. 

Victims have no choice but to establish NO CONTACT - because of the stalkers consistent harassment, lies and guilt trips, the victim must find a 3rd party to communicate between themselves and the stalker. 

Stalkers are desperate people. They use any means necessary to be in control of their victim. And unfortunately no matter how hard the victim ignores and continues to establish the "No Contact" rule – the stalker will still attempt to communicate and text and call the victim. The children are a great excuse for the stalker to remain in constant contact. The stalker will make lies, such as telling the victim "one of the children is sick or been diagnosed with a rare disease" or "one of the children need counseling, therapy, a psychiatrist" because of the victims refusal to cooperate with the sick stalker. 

This can lead to life long problems and difficulties for the victim, and also the children who are being pushed and pulled into the chaos by the disorder, unstable stalker...

Narcissism Running Rampant

It is often very difficult to help a narcissistic person, because their narcissism prevents them from accepting help. 

Narcissistic people are difficult to live with. It is their significant others who are witness and victims to their inner rage and abuse. 

Narcissit do not know who the hell they are. And they do not care. They are self absorbed, selfish, inconsiderate, vain, and impulsive individuals, that violate others and have no sympathy for the pain they have caused. 

There is no cure for narcissism. The narcissist sees nothing wrong with themselves. A million people could tell them they are not "normal" or that they are "abusive". They disregard others and believe it is other people who are not normal. It is not them! They are perfect

A relationship with a narcissist is impossible. And years are wasted hoping that the narcissist will change. Or see the light and realize their abuse and get help. Unfortunately they never change. And they leave behind broken families and emotionally distraught and conflicted victims. 

A narcissist is mean spirited. They are malicious. They are never faithful to their significant other. They will cheat just because they opportunity presents itself. 

These individuals are so toxic and vile. It will take a victim years of therapy to deal with all the issues the narcissist left them to deal with 

Cluster B's and the toxic ex

Toxic ex's that are still attempting to control YOUR life years after you have divorced. Prove to be UNSTABLE, UNPREDICTABLE, and DANGEROUS. 

They want you to attend all of their family functions and holidays. When you don't because you have moved on with your life, they accuse you of being a bad parent, and hurting your children by refusing to come to their family functions.

How delusional is it for them to expect you and your new spouse to want to spend your holidays and your time off with them (your insane and toxic ex). 

THEY DONT SEEM TO "GET" OR UNDERSTAND WHAT DIVORCE MEANS. 

It means that you couldn't get along enough to continue to live together, so why in the hell would you want to spend Christmas with them (Christmas is a special time to be with YOUR family and surround yourself with people you LOVE and care about) 

YOUR EVIL AND TOXIC EX IS NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE  

It can be exhausting, frustrating, and down right toxic to have children with a sociopathic/psychopathic personality disordered person. 

They do not want to let go of their ex-spouse. They relentlessly continue to try to control their ex – even after the divorce is final, legal situations have been settled, and even after THEY have moved on and remarried a new person (victim) 

Toxic people with Cluster B personality disorders (sociopaths, psychopaths, histrionics, borderlines, narcissist) will go to great extremes to make life difficult for their ex. The children are the perfect tool for them to use to get this done. 

The toxic person will make up lies, and try to beat you into submission with guilt regarding the children. It is not because they really care for the children's well being. It's all about control. All the while, they are undermining your ability to co-parent with them and move on to a new life. 

What is SO frustrating about dealing with these disordered individuals is how they take no responsibility for anything they have done. They have caused problems for you, they have done despicable things to you. Yet they seem to forget All of the things they have maliciously and vindictively done to you and your loved ones. 

They expect you to continue to interact with them as if they didn't try to destroy you (emotionally, financially and socially). They really think that just because you share children together that you should DO what they tell you to do. NO MATTER HOW RIDICULOUS IT IS. 

Even though you are divorced the toxic ex still feels as if they really have a right to know what you are doing and who you are doing it with. The toxic ex will bombard you with questions about your life. They violate your boundaries and DO NOT respect your privacy. Although when it comes to THEIR privacy - you better respect it- that is how delusional and out of touch with reality they are...

They want to know your plans for everything. They will use the children again to convince you that you need to tell them your plans. Example — They need to know what your plans for the entire summer are — because they are trying to make their plans and they CANNOT make their own plans until you tell them yours..

(As if it matters what your plans are, they will do as they like no matter your plans) Really the ONLY reason they want to know your plans is so they can sabotage them..  

Even if it is NOT your weekend with the children they feel entitled to know what you are doing over the weekend? 

It's important to realize that there is an agenda and motive behind everything – and their intention it is NEVER good. They are bitter, spiteful and vengeful. So everything they do is intentionally meant to upset you, cause you stress or just get a reaction from you. 

There is a difference between friendly interaction and an attempt to control. Learn to recognize that difference.

This type of toxic ex comes in different forms. They bad mouth you to your children, all while telling others it is you that is talking negatively to the children about them! (always the victim) They will do everything they can to create emotional distance between you and your children.  

Disordered people do not have any conscience about the awful things they do to punish you. 

They tell the children things that they think will hurt you – but actually it ONLY hurts the children in order to punish you. Ex. – "your dad is too busy with his new family to get you this weekend" or "Your mom refuses to talk to me about you going there this week, because she doesn't want to see you" 

They are willing to hurt their own children in an attempt to regain control over you or to punish you in some way. They emotionally damage their children just to "get back at you". This kind of behavior is a very dangerous for children to grow up around. It also demonstrates how mentally sick they really are... 

The Toxic Ex Plants seeds of Doubt

When the toxic ex has failed to "break" you or control you. They will try to convince you are to blame as a result of any of their failures, and the children's failures. They will say and do whatever needed to undermine the goals you set for yourself. The toxic ex will go as far as saying that the children need counseling because of you inability to cooperate and co-parent with them. (Remember they are ANGRY that all their attempts to control you so far have FAILED) This is symptomatic of a manipulative and vengeful mindset person and any communication from such a person should be ignored.