Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Cheating

Sociopaths cheat because they can...they take what they want because they want it, and they have no moral issues that they are concerned with. Since they do not  recognize rules, and simply believe that they are above the rules. They do not think much about their behaviors and they believe they can do no wrong, so the rules don't apply to them. 

Like narcissists, sociopaths are indifferent/unconcerned to the damage they do to innocent people.

To a sociopath, cheating is like a game where he/she maneuvers an individual into giving him/her what he/she wants and it has no special meaning to them. Although the sociopath will do everything to make you think otherwise....they are skillful con-artist. They will say everything they know you want to hear. They will make you believe you are special, irresistible, and everything they could ever want. But the truth is, they see you as an appliance, that they will only use when they want to. 

Narcissists and Sociopaths, will both wreak havoc and destruction on the lives of the people they encounter. Especially preying on innocent, kind and good hearted people.

There is only one way to deal with them once you have discovered that they are this way.  Get far, far away from them, and fast! NO CONTACT!  When you do this with a narcissist, they will try very hard to get back in your life (as their ego is sensitive to rejection)

Of course they say all the perfect things you have been wanting to hear. But once you let them back in, the bad behaviors like passive aggression, emotional neglect and abuse, and betrayal will start again. This vicious cycle that will never end, unless you cut out all forms of communication. They will do things to hurt you even more, once they realize that you have gone No Contact. 

For example; trying to make you jealous, telling mutual friends how glad they are to be rid of you, while also talking about how much fun they are having or new relationships they are in. IGNORE IT. And don’t try to hurt in them in return. That will waste your time and energy. 

The narcissistic sociopath is going to do everything in their power to destroy you, your reputation, your job, your friendships, and your happiness. They will try to annihilate the very fiber of your being. 

My other post have plenty of information about the different tactics that the narcissists and sociopaths use in order to try and destroy you. Stay Strong. 

Dealing with these Monsters is hard. You will feel like you are fighting for your life. **But remember their goal is to wear and tear you down. 

Narcissist or Borderline Personality Abuse

The causes of personality disorders, such as sociopathic, narcissistic, psychopathic, and borderlines are not entirely clear... Some of these personalities were abused as children by a caregiver. 

Most, however, are not so easily identified because of their lying. It is unfortunate for those who really have suffered physical or emotional abuse. Because of their pathological lying, it is very hard to confirm if they are telling the truth or if they are just attempting to manipulate, and elicit pity from someone. 

Sociopaths and Narcissisit lie about eveything. They will lie just to lie..

Even when there is no reason to lie, and the truth would be in their best interest, they will still lie. They don't care who they lie to, and what they lie about. There is no rhyme or reason behind the lies they tell.  I assume because they are just so darn good at it, it just comes natural to them..

Cluster B Personality Disorders - are the most dangerous of disordered individuals. The most dangerous of the cluster B's is the Sociopath (Anti-social personality) and the Narcissist. 

The sociopath is by far the most dangerous because there is no functioning conscience. There is no moral compass. Yet the sociopath does know the difference between right and wrong, they just prefer to do what's wrong. They are skilled at manipulating others, with the intent to cause harm. Sociopaths blend in so well with “normal” people, that people are unaware of the dysfunction going on behind closed doors. The sociopath paints a picture perfect family life for the rest of the world to see, but in reality they are making the people who live with them, and family members miserable..

The sociopath is more likely going to cause physical and emotional harm to others, before they will harm themselves. Unlike the Borderline who is more likely to hurt themselves. 

While both can be emotionally abusive, the borderline acts out with self-harm and obvious displays of out-of-control behaviors. While the sociopath acts out in devious under-handed ways, such as spreading rumors to destroy your reputation, stealing from you and destroying you financially. 

All of the cluster B's are often deeply insecure. It is this insecurity that drives them to act in such horrific ways. Although the the sociopath and the narcissist display arrogance and a confident demeanor - it is just another lie that they are living and acting out. They ENVY everyone. They are jealous individuals. It is their sense of entitlement, that makes them act as if they are “owed” or “entitled” to whatever it is they desire.

The Sociopath will take what they want, they do not care of who gets hurt. 

Envy and Jealousy

Sociopaths run their smear campaigns, in an attempt to spread lies about you, and some even go to the extremes of impersonating you, just get a reaction out of you. 

IF YOU REACT - you give the sociopath what they wanted. You give a reason to turn it around on you, and tell others that you are attacking them. 

That's why it's important to not react to the sociopath.  No matter how badly you want to defend you me character. If you really want the sociopath to leave you alone. 

**Then going NO CONTACT is the only way to truly get  the sociopath out of your life completely.

So why do sociopaths want to destroy lives, spread lies, cause conflict, chaos and drama? The answer is pretty simple — “jealousy”

The sociopath is jealous and envious of everyone they know. The believe that everyone has something better than them. So they do anything to sabatoge that persons life by any means.  Sociopaths experience a level of envy toward their targets that is lethal. Whatever the sociopath or  narcissist  sees in you that he/she knows they cannot be, want to be, or with something that he/she views that you have ‘won’ in some way. They feel a incredible amount of envy. Their envy can appear as rage in the smear campaign. Don't ever expect the sociopath to admit they are envious for someone. They have NO SPINE OR BACKBONE  TO DO THAT. 

So they have to sneak around behind your back and do covert things to try to destroy you. Sometime the envy is obvious and sometimes it is not obvious. 

Sociopaths tend to be envious of their ex spouses new girlfriend/boyfriend, husband or wife. And soon the innocent person who is with the sociopaths ex spouse decides to target the new love. Why?

Because sociopaths are low life scum. 

They want to destroy their ex, and also want to destroy their happiness. So that means they work hard to make your relationship miserable. I’m hopes that they will destroy it.

The best thing to do is recognize that this is happening. Do not allow a hateful narcissistic sociopath destroy your happiness. 

When your ex is trying to destroy reputation

When we have been abused, betrayed, lied to, cheated on, had rumors spread about us, lost friends, felt isolated, been afraid, lost everything, doubted ourselves, felt guilty, believed it was our fault - more than likely we were in a relationship with a sociopath. Or we were friends, or have a sociopathic family member.  

Once we discovered the truth, and realized we are not the only victim of this person, who had some how destroyed our life, our soul, and left us with little to no trust in the world. We are able to begin healing from the traumatic experience. Healing takes time. We are weak, alone, afraid, and don't know who we can trust.

The hardest part of healing is feeling safe and facing the world. 

When my sociopath spread rumors about me all over town — to my child's school, to my neighbors, to people who i respected in the community. I was afraid to leave the house. I was afraid of what others were thinking about me. What lies had my sociopath told everyone? And did anyone believe those lies. My sociopath had a reputation in town already, so why would people believe the lies that they were spreading?

I felt that people would rather believe the bad they have heard about you - rather than the good. It seems people don't go around talking about the good about you. But they will go around talking about anything bad about you. 

For a while I truly felt isolated from the world. I did not want to go out of my home. 

Even though the people who knew me, knew the hardships I had been through with my ex. They new that my ex wanted to hurt me, and make my life unbearable. So far my ex was doing a pretty good job. 

I never went and spoke with a therapist, even though it may have helped. I just focused on my children, and getting my life back. It wasn't easy. When the sociopath still would talk badly of me, any chance that arose. 

When I went no contact and chose to ignore my sociopath, that's when things got very ugly. I refused to communicate with the ex. So my ex decided to tell everyone, and put it on social media that i was a "cyber stalking troll". Even using my first and last name to slander me. My ex made up a fake domain site in my name. Pretending to be me, and impersonating me in an unfavorable manner.  Basically painting a picture of a very unstable person, that was trying to get help for my mental problems. The worst part was if you googled my name, the website that my ex started about me was the first thing that came up. That is  when I said “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”

I contacted a friend of mine whose husband is a police officer. And I ask what could be done about this website that my ex started about and was impersonating me in such a way. It was slander and defamation.

My friends husband informed me that it was cyber stalking, and I should file a police report. — so I did that. Which only made my ex crazier. Although the website was taken down, I was now being accused of more horrific things. 

I wondered if this crap would ever stop. I felt hopeless... I began to stop looking online, and begin to focus only on myself my children and healing. It was very tempting to want to get online and see what my ex was saying now.but I never did. I gave it a good eight months before I looked at anything my ex was doing online. I still do not look up my ex'a online activity. 

Stalking as a mental illness VS Sociopathic Stalking

What is Stalking? 

At its core, stalking consists of a persons repeated and obsessive attempts to gain control of another person. Stalkers terrify their victims.

There are stalkers who are delusional, and may not really know their victim, but have created a fantasy in their disturbed mind, that the victim is in love or was in a previous relationship with them. 

The other kind of stalker is not so delusional, but very dangerous. They do know their victim personally. They were in a relationship with the victim at one time. The victim has rejected the stalker, and is trying to move on with their life. The stalker becomes infuriated that they cannot control the victim any longer. 

On the lower end of the stalker spectrum.  Stalkers will make repeated phone calls, obsessively email the victim. In more extreme stalker manifestations, the stalker might involve repeatedly going to a person’s house, making threats against a person, harming pets, stealing possessions, or interfering with a person’s relationships with friends, family, or coworkers. Stalkers may alternate between patterns of verbal threats, domestic violence and attempts to destroy their victims reputation. 

Stalkers often believe that they “love” their victims and occasionally say they stalk to keep others safe. For example, a character disturbed ex-wife might say she is the victim of her ex-husband, or of the ex husbands new wife. If there are children involved she will use the children to ensure she’s remains in control of her ex-husbands life. 
Psychologically, however, stalking is a crime of control. Stalkers see their victims as possessions who are rightfully theirs, and stalking behavior is frequently activated by a breakup or an ex-partner’s new relationship.

Your Abuser Will Never Change

Sociopaths,  narcissist, psychopaths, and also the dark triad personality disordered person  has mastered how to attack and retreat. This is how they keep their victims off balance. They sociopath undermines the victim and works to lower the victims self esteem, confidence and independence 

Abuse sociopaths suffers from internal discomfort and conflicts that they have no clue how to deal with, due to their lack of being able to genuinely connect to others. Sociopaths do not have much practical and logical thinking inside their mind. Rational reasoning, kindness, and empathy, is just NOT there.  They do so many damaging things to their victim  is to compensate or satisfy their own insecurities. Sociopaths and narcissist will work  hard to give others the impression that they are Confident, self assured, independent, and basically “awesome” Human being. 

The sociopath does not ever look within themselves.  Because “within" them is hollow and empty. They don't seek to understand or respect others because they do not understand or respect themselves. The ONLY understanding the sociopath wants to find is how to better manipulate and control their victim.

The Truth is that narcissist and sociopaths are very insecure. The narcissist more so than the sociopath. The narcissist is very skilled at hiding their  own weaknesses. Their strategy is to make the victim look ‘unstable, dangerous, and suffering from low self esteem. The sociopath hides their insecurity and self-hatred by exploiting others, and portraying them as weak. 

Since these abusive types of people CaNNoT control their own life, and (malicious) emotions, they try to control others, through manipulation, lies, threat, blackmail, and for a lack of better words, causing their victims to doubt their self, and feel unworthy and not good enough. While if these malicious types may have some positive qualities. Although I have never seen anything positive come from a sociopath, ever ..  

The narcissistic sociopath will always hold very toxic and unrealistic expectations of victims and their family members, these expectations are to ridiculous to ever really met. Those who try to meet these expectations will become exhausted and drained. The sociopath convinces them that they a failure, and they will constantly berate them, and be verbally abuse. This is a game that the sociopath loves to play with people in their life. The sociopath has mastered this "game" and they know it is a game that they will win, and that their victims cannot win. 

Narcissist and sociopaths are ABUSERS. It's vital for all victims of these vile individuals to remember, the abuse more than likely has nothing to do with you. If they are not abusing You, they would be abusing someone else. They abuse family members as long as the family member stays in the sociopaths life. The actions of the abuser are not Your fault. Even though the sociopath will have you convinced and brainwashed that you are to blame for anything they may have done to hurt you.  One of the hardest things to accept and understand is You will have little or no impact on the sociopath. They will never change. They are wired the way they are. They aren't suffering from a mental illness, but they have a malevolent personality disorder,  the are unable to feel empathy when there is suffering, and they hurt and cause severe damage to anyone who meets them. 
They are basically soulless. So never expect these types to change. There may be a temporary change but it will not be lasting. It is only another tactic to get back in your life, once they do the abuse will start again. 

Even if the abusers wanted to change, they seldom want to put any real effort towards changing. Victims of emotional abuse often think otherwise. They stick around hoping they can fix things and hoping that their abuser will change. 

Please leave and get out before you wake up one day and notice you look older and feel older and realize you have given all your good years and all your energy to this person, who has never valued and never will value you for the amazing person  that you are. 

Smear Campaigns is a Narcissist Specialty

 Smear campaigns are typically conducted against people who have stood up against some form of unfairness, abuse, or entitlement.

Narcissists and Sociopaths are highly active smear campaigners - spreading rumors is their speciality

A smear campaign involves blatant lies, exaggerations, and the use of half truths to come across more creditable to any skeptics, their goal is to convince others that they are the victim and the person they are slandering is the disordered

Smear campaigners insinuate that the victim is mentally ill, unreasonable, incompetent, untrustworthy, or abusive.

Sociopaths  typically play on the sensibilities of others, using people’s empathy and morals to turn people against their victims – most often for having done nothing more than disagree with the smearer.

A smear campaigner prefers to make others think they are good people who are rightfully standing up against the victim’s supposed immorality or abuse.

Smear campaigners play the victim, the hero, or both.

Smear campaigners try to ostracize their victims and make them feel alone, unpopular, and unsupported by others.

Smear campaigners enjoy the feeling of having “gotten back at” their victims, and believe it is completely justifiable – even fun – to mistreat someone for having an opinion that is different from theirs.

Smear campaigners do not acknowledge the wrong they do, and cannot typically be expected to genuinely confess or apologize — even after they’ve been proven liars.

Do not speak to smear campaigners unless it’s completely impossible not to. If you DO have to speak to the smearer, do so only in the presence of others and in copied emails/properly documented letters. Plan ahead to prevent being put in difficult positions by the smear campaigner.

Lastly, remember that you do have the right to make fair and healthy requests, and if you are smeared as a result, smearing is an unreasonable and unacceptable response.

Smiling or baring teeth?

This quote is talking about a sociopath.

And it is so true! 

Sociopaths smile so nicely to everyone, and look so friendly. Little do most know that they are actually planning on destroying someone.

The person they will always target is the caring, sympathic, loving and most genuine person. 

Why would a sociopath target someone like themselves? After all they have a deep rooted hate for themselves, although you will never see that. You will only see the hatred they have for you — after the honeymoon phase is over of course.

True Sociopath & Narcissist Sociopath

All sociopaths are narcissist but NOT ALL narcissist are sociopaths. 

There are narcissist and then there are narcissistic sociopaths.... There is a difference between the two. From my own personal experience, this is what I have observed about the two.(this is only my personal observation and experience) 

A True Sociopath has no fear. The true sociopath does not care what others think of them. Unlike the narcissistic sociopath who cares not about what people think of them, but about how people view them. 

The Narc Sociopath wants to be viewed by others as popular and liked, even if they are not like by many people, they will pretend that they are. The Narc Sociopath is so insecure that it is important to them that others admire them, because of their materialist possessions, or name brand clothing. They want people to believe that they are powerful, and that they have a lot of “friends” with powerful connections. 

They are all different and they all do different things. 

A True Sociopath is so selfish and empty. That when they are deceiving and cheating, it never crosses their mind that the person they have lied to and deceived will be hurt by the deception. A True Sociopath does not see other people as having any rights of their own, or a mind of their own. The True Sociopath doesn't care or even think that people have the ability to make decisions for themselves. The True Sociopath is only capable of seeing what they want. The true sociopath only “thinks” of their wants. Their sense of entitlement makes them believe that what they want is the most important thing in the world. 

The true sociopath thinks only of him/herself. Sociopaths intentionally act as if they care about others and are eager to help. When it seems as if the sociopath is being “helpful” this is only because she/he has their own agenda. And if pretending to want to help or care will achieve this agenda for them, then that's what they will do. If the true sociopath wants something, he/she will make sure that they get what it is they want, and will use whatever means to get this. Whoever the person is that can get the sociopath closer to getting what  he/she wants will become the sociopaths next target...

The true sociopath will do anything and destroy anyone to get what they want - this includes —

• Compulsive pathological lying (outrageous ridiculous lies)
• Deception and manipulation (conning)
• Cheating and infidelity
• Living like a parasite
• Faking ‘love’
• Theft, stealing,taking out credit cards and loans in someone's name without that persons knowledge. 

When most people do something that hurts another person, we feel guilty, we feel bad about ourselves and can be hard on ourselves. We experience remorse and shame. Usually we end up feeling so bad that we will go out of our way to make that wrong, right.. 

The sociopath does not care at all if they have ruined someone's life. They lose no sleep and they barely even think about the wrong. True sociopaths experience no feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse. 

The narcissistic sociopath will never experience regret. The are only capable of hatred and revenge. 

If the narc sociopaths actions have damaged their life, they don’t feel bad for THEMSELVES, they feel hatred and will find something or someone to blame for whatever happened. 

They don't feel anything towards the any people they have destroyed. They actually feel a sick victory of some sort. 

The Villain and The Victim

This is an old draft I found. Decided to publish it. Hope it gives insight to those who are dealing with a narcissist or a sociopath. 

Psychopaths are able to present themselves as charismatic and charming. They know how to pour on the charm to hook their victims emotionally and gain their trust. Psychopaths are very calculating, cold hearted, and lack empathy. The psychopath is an excelled liar. They need to convince others that they are caring and kind-hearted, by doing this, it allows them to torture (usually emotionally and mentally) their victims, and then vilify the victim when the victim speaks out. The sociopath will claim to be the “victim”. Many may believe that the sociopath is victim because the sociopath has manipulated people to believe they are a good person, and convinced those people that the real victim is a liar, and bad person. This is how they will try to destroy their target, by convincing acquaintances that they are a “good” person, all while spreading lies about the Real victim. 

The psychopath resorts to outrageous lies, and false accusations. In reality, these people are opposite of everything they claim. One thing in particular that I noticed with psychopaths, is that whatever they are accusing YOU of — they are guilty of it. 

For example – the psychopath will have many social media accounts, they look for things that the general normal  people are upset over, like bullying, or cyber stalking. They will accuse their victim of these things, because they know that these certain subjects are sensitive to most people.  By doing this they hurt (even though they don't care) not only their target but real victims of bullying. With sociopaths claiming victim-hood, they take credibility away from the real victims of bullying, cyber bullying, and harassment. 

It is somewhat like crying wolf. Only in this case the psychopath is actually the wolf, but is dressed up as a sheep.

The Sociopath never stops being obsessed

Does the narcissistic sociopath ever give up on making your life miserable.

I do not think will. They will have distractions come along the way, that may give you a small amount of peace. But I have been stalked, had profiles made up about my online, been signed up spam mail, I have even received hand written letters at my home mail box. That was when I had a security system installed. But I say once again, even though there is no communication, contact with my sociopath stalker. It’s still costing me money.

The way I see it, I have dealt with this for a 13+ years. And I have gained knowledge. And the sociopath hasn’t gained anything. (Except for maybe special place in hell). But my life is good. I have been through so much, but I am still fairly young. I have a loving family and supportive friends. I am active in my community. I play tennis, I am involved with many organization that i enjoy and have interest in. I have finally found the job of my dreams.  I am happy.

Everything I have been through has made me a stronger person. 10 years ago I was unable to say this.  I was constantly upset about the problems the sociopath was causing for me. Because I did not have the knowledge to know how to deal with it appropriately. That is why i started this blog. In hopes people wouldn’t make the same mistakes that I did. Or just help others that find themselves in a hopeless miserable situation like this.

It’s not your fault. I am able to be happy, despite everything that has happened. The fact that my sociopath is still to this very day obsessing over me, tells me that this person is so miserable with their life. And this is all they have to do. The sociopath is truly unhappy and miserable. There is no spark within them. Especially as they age. My sociopath is older than me by 20 years. It’s obviously that she is very miserable. All her other targets and victims have died. I’m the only one left living. So she gets online and makeups Facebook profiles in my real name. She doesn’t have any friends. Her own sister won’t even speak to her. And she basically ran her mother into an early grave.

I haven’t posted anything in a while. Because I just haven’t felt the need to. Until I came across something she made up on Facebook about me. I laughed about it. It told me all I already knew. That she has nothing else to do with her time. And no one else wants anything to do with her.

Yes, I wish she would leave me alone. But she isn’t going to. She is obsessed, miserable and jealous. She wants to upset me and cause me pain. But because of her I will say I am a stronger person than ever.

HELL on EARTH - Being the Ex-spouse of a Sociopathic Narcissist

Being the victim of a sociopath can be pure hell. Especially if the sociopaths is an express that you share children with. Or if the Sociopath is your new spouses ex that they share children with. The harassment of you and your spouse seems to never end. They use the children against you. They spread lies about you. They tell the children’s teachers, the children’s friends parents, what a crap parent you are and it will spread rumors about you and your new spouse or girlfriend.

They do this to socially destroy you. To ruin your life. And anyone who is in your life that you love.

You must disengage from the dangerous Sociopath. Sometimes it is not always realistic to go totally “NO CONTACT”  when you have children.
So in order to minimize their ability to exploit, deceive, manipulate and harm you.
You must detach, distance, and disengage.
The Sociopath thinks because you share children together, that they can talk to you every day, send you harassing messages. When you tell them that if it is not concerning the children, and you have nothing to say to them. The sociopath will make up stories about the children to you, just so they can talk to you, the only reason they want to communicate with you is to make your life difficult. 
The sociopathic narcissist wants to control you in every way they can. And they are going to do this by using your children, that you love, against you.

They will use the children as their greatest weapon against you. They will deny you access to your children, they will tell you how bad of a parent you are, they use guilt, they will do anything and everything to try to stay in contact with you in order to maintain control over you.
Once you go no contact with them. They become desperate to make contact with you, it will become an obsession for them. They will make up lies about the children, saying things like one of the children has been diagnosed with a serious medical condition, one of the children is so upset about the way they are not communicating that that child needs therapy. When the child really does not know what is going on. Unless the Sociopath has told the child something, but you as a loving parent have not involved your children and letting them know what an evil mother or father they have.

Do not rely on any information the sociopaths gives you. Always verify all information concerning the child’s health with the child or with your child’s doctor, teachers, counselors. You will more than likely find that everything that the sociopathic narcissist told you was UNTRUE. 


DO NOT CUT THE SOCIOPATH ANY SLACK!
Do not put up with their harassment. If they continue to harass you and call you, and you have told them that you refuse to deal with them because everything out of their mouth continues to be alive. Tell them that you only want to communicate with them through an attorney. But not directly. And then blocked their number from your phone.
This will in rage the Sociopath, they will become obsessed with getting you to respond. You will get text message from random numbers, that the Sociopath has found online to text you with. They can become dangerous, even moThis will enraged the sociopath, they will become obsessed with getting you to respond. You will get text message from random numbers, that the Sociopath has found online to text you with. They can become dangerous, even more so than they already are..

Always remember that narcissistic sociopaths take pleasure and making other peoples lives difficult, and watching them suffer... 

Dealing with one of these individuals is HELL on earth.

When the narcissistic sociopath is a parent...

Toxic parents who abuse their partners and children are some of the darkest, and most evil people in our world. They are the most evolutionary caustic types  of human beings on the planet, if they can really even considered to be human at all...

Truly, as parental figures, such people with a known propensity for sociopathic traits and Malignant Narcissism should never be encouraged to breed.

Unfortunately though, they feel they must have children and a husband/wife in order to blend in with the world. They paint a picture to the world as the perfect all American family. When they are anything but that. But their goal is to appear as normal as possible to the world. They fear being exposed for the monster that they really are.

When sociopaths and narcissist decide to start a family and bring innocent children in the world, they do this for ALL the wrong reasons. Their intentions are not good. They only want the children as pawns to manipulate situations.

I am really referring to the female sociopath/narcissist.  Because having children makes people assume you are maternal and as a mother and caretaker of a small innocent child, the women is less likely to get exposed for the evil that she is. And she is also able to gain more sympathy from others with the children. Since she always will have a poor poor pitiful me story to tell everyone.

The female narcissist/sociopath is the most evil of evil, because she  gets away with abusing, manipulating and hurting for so long, because having children she is less likely to be suspected of being such an evil vindictive individual. 

She has a only evil reasons for wanting children so badly.

First off she needs these children to manipulate others with them. If she is married she manipulate her husband with them. If she is divorced, she uses the children to manipulate her ex husband, and control his life. She will attempt to get as much money as possible out of him for the children. Child support will not ever be enough for her. She will ask for money for this and that for the children. And the money never is spent on what the children. The ex husband will usually have to end up getting the children all the things that they need. Although the sociopathic mother said she needed money for it, she never uses any of the money on the children. She will control the ex husbands life with the children. This makes it hard to find love again. The female sociopath loves to waste the time of others. When it is the fathers time with his kids. She will hide them from him, sending him on a wild goose chase for hours until enough of his time is wasted then she will finally be available so that he can get them from her.
I witnessed a sociopathic mother do this to her ex husband for years. He was to pick them up at her home at 5 on Fridays. But when he arrived at 5, the children were not there. She would tell him they went with a friend to go look at kittens somewhere or play in the park, but to come back in an hour and they would be back. The father would come back in an hour. The children were still not home, and she always had an excuse, like they decided to get ice cream they will be back soon. So the father could wait in driveway awkwardly or go to grocery store and get some food and things for him and the kids for the weekend. When he would return around 7, no one would be at the sociopathic mother’s house. He would call her, and she would say that he took so long they decided to get something to eat. He would ask her if he could just pick them up at the restaurant they were at. She would say no. She would say come back at 9. So he has just wasted 4 hours trying to pick up his children. Finally when he would come back at 9. They would be home. And of course each kid (there were 2, a boy around 8 and and a girl around 12) they would have friends with them.

The sociopathic mother never told him about friends being with them, ask if that was ok. But at 9pm he was to good of a person to not allow the children’s friends to come with him. So she basically wasted his entire evening with his children and when he finally got them, they had friends over that he was going to have to care for as well.

He would also have to get the kids bags together. They stayed with him until Tuesday so he would have to get their backpacks for school and school clothes.

The sociopathic mother would intentionally take out certain items that she knew the kids would need for school or need in general, just to inconvenience her ex husband and waste more of his time. 

This is just one true example of how things were when this loving father would try to pick his children up on Friday. And how the female sociopath would make it so hard for him to do this.
This only what she did to him when he was trying to see and get his children. She did much worse than this. He never knew what she would do to make life hell for him next. But he was a smart man, so he was always expecting something.

She made everything miserable for him. Every birthday for the children was filled with her making it into drama. She would throw her own party for the kids (or actually her mother did all the work) And she also expected to be 100% in control of whatever the father had planned for the kids. And she expected him to pay for both.

It was hard for him to plan vacations to the beach with his children without her controlling every aspect of it. She would tell him last minute that the kids wanted to bring a friend with them to the beach. So his family beach vacation, turned into him having to watch his 2 children and his daughters 2 friend and the sons 1 friend. He didn’t say no, I will not do this because of the wrath that she would cause.

He basically lived life, trying to just have a minute of peace. Which he got very little.

She not only manipulated him with the children. She manipulated her mother with them as well. Mainly to get money out of the mother. Which she would say was because their POS dad refused to give to her. Even though he had given her the money, then she collected money from the mother, but never spent it on the kids. The father always had to end up getting whatever it was she claimed they needed.
As if the $3500 a month child support was not enough.
It was not enough. 
Nothing would ever be enough for this evil woman 

Why did This man never take this evil vindictive woman to court and fight for custody? Because the fax was she was never taken care of the children when they were at a young age because she did not want to take care of children that were younger and not self-sufficient. She was a very selfish woman. But she was an attorney and she knew the law very well. And she knew how to manipulate the system and as most of you know it is very hard to beat a  this man never take this evil vindictive woman to court and fight for custody? Because the fact was she was never taking care of the children when they were at a young age because she did not want to take care of children that were young and not self-sufficient. She was a very selfish woman. But she was an attorney and she knew the law very well. And she knew how to manipulate the system and as most of you know it is very hard to beat and sociopath or narcissist in court.
 They are able to turn everything around on you making you look like the horrible parent.  They will make up lies and they will end up making it so they have even more power over you. And still collect your money at the same time.

Watching a parent lie and manipulate others is absolutely brutal for children of narcissistic and sociopathic parents to have to endure. Not only does it cause them unregulated amounts
of Social, EMOTIONAL, and PHYSICAL PAIN to see a villain succeed, it 
shakes their faith.

Narcissist are broken and want to break you.

Narcissist are broken mentally and emotionally. You made them feel amazing for a certain period of time obviously that time is over since you are asking this question.

Narcissist  fear abandonment so deeply that they could leave you for someone else and be so hurt that you moved on and are dating again.

The reason to make you suffer is because they are the ones suffering worse then you ever could. 

 But this the only way they know how to function. 

So by punishing you they are desperate for a reaction good or bad makes no difference to them as it is attention and shows they still have control.

Ignoring them causes a HUGE blow to their ego and they HATE it! It EATS them ALIVE!

They will abuse the new supply or smear you to their friends and family to try and maintain control over their own emotions since YOU wont give them what they want.

Seeing you hurt give the narcissist power!

 Seeing you happy makes them ANGRY!

The sociopaths intentions

Psychopathic individuals do not appear to care whom or what they use or ultimately destroy.

In the beginning of a relationship with a sociopath, psychopath or a narcissist, an person who is being targeted is usually unaware of the sociopaths true intentions.  Also to any possible vulnerabilities potential victims may have that can  make them more receptive to their advances, psychopaths also look for those who will “invest” in relationships with them.  Often things may feel wrong.  However, in the absence of any solid reasons or evidence as to why things do not feel right, the relationships, whether romantic, business, or otherwise, often continue.  The simple passage of time can further deepen the connections and perceived obligations to the psychopath.  It may seem that victims are weak, but this is not the case.  Normal human vulnerability should not be confused with weakness.  Anyone has the potential to be targeted.  

Although interactions with individuals with psychopathic traits can often be conflictual, even when things are considered “good,” most psychopaths are easily bored, like excitement, and steadily move through victims.  It is common for them to leave trails of destruction as they go.  Often, psychopathic individuals simply decide to leave a situation, partnership, or relationship unexpectedly.  

At any point, they tend to have disdain for anyone they see as threatening to their position and will very likely attempt to disarm those individuals who they consider to be threatening.  This stage may present further challenges for the victim.    Many with psychopathic traits do not like to be questioned.  Often, at this point, the victim searches for answers.  It is not uncommon for people to seek answers from those with whom they are involved.  In these cases, doing so can often lead to conflict and meet with further retaliation and  victimization.  Unfortunately, even though they are ready to move on to another situation or relationship, they may enjoy watching a victim’s distress.  Sometimes, they even enjoy the challenge of a fight.

Evil evil evil

Narcissist Do not need a reason to destroy you

A narcissist needs NO reason to be hostile to their target. Normal people attack for natural motives like revenge or retaliation. This is NOT the case for the narcissist. They simply attack people who possess something they want. 
The narcissist believes that everything belongs to her, and if someone has a little of it, then she's not getting all of it. 

Pathological greed, entitlement, and covetousness are what makes the malignant narcissist a dangerous predator. 
They are forever out to take, keep from, destroy and besmirch whatever they can get their grimy paws on: be it your job, you home, your relationships, or your reputation.

It is sheer malevolence to want to damage the most valuable possessions of another. 
It is sheer malevolence to be hostile to others getting what makes them happy and feel good about themselves. 
And, it is beyond sick to have ill will toward people who aren’t harming you, have never harmed you, and have never threatened to harm you. 
Malignant narcissists are pure evil. Just look at who they target: vulnerable children, people who love them, family, and the innocent.

Convicted criminals who steal out of necessity, or shoot someone who tries to fight them off in a robbery, or commit murder for anger or revenge are better than the malignant narcissist. The criminal isn’t a threat to anyone else because he doesn’t go around wishing to hurt others or see harm come to them. But the malignant narcissist does - in every waking moment of her sad, sorry existence. The malignant narcissist is a pestilent, disease spreading low-life and the driving force behind her predation is insecurity, greed, entitlement and covetousness. Remember; she's not normal. She's incapable of aquiring positive attributes for herself, so she must take from others to even the score.  

The malignant narcissist's spiteful envy compels her to steal from you and she wants to make damn sure that you are severely harmed in the process.  This clandestine power game is priority number one, and all of the malignant narcissist’s energies are devoted to it.  The objective is POWER, CONTROL, and DOMINATION and she will stop at nothing to win. Causing the downfall of others gives her pleasure and victory means disempowering the target to a state of suffering and loss while aggrandizing herself. So sad, that the pathetic little narcissist must resort to such tactics but she knows no other way, she's abnormal: socially, morally, emotionally and psychologically retarded. 

However, beneath her extreme treachery, the malignant narcissist is still able to project an "image" - albeit campy and over-the-top.  So, when people don’t incite her jealous rage, she lays on the smarmy charm thick with a spoon and slyly uses those dimwits to spread vicious rumours about her victim. All the while, maintaining a false front as a well meaning, do-gooder. Blech! That is precisely why these sickos - particularly women - can continue harming people. Why is the average person so dense? Narcissists are lousy actors.     

Malignant narcissists love their perverted sport, and they never want the game to end. It's all they have. Let's face it; their lives are sad, so very sad.  Take away the narcissist's only reason for living  – to hurt others. Don’t be their play thing. Stay Far Far Away.

Healing from the Sociopaths Abuse

There is life after the sociopath/narcissist. In the beginning after the sociopath has left you, and they have moved on with the partner they had been cheating on you with.

You will feel shock, pain, hurt, devastation, denial, anger, and depression.

But it's so Important to remember that "this too shall pass..." 

Yes, you wasted a great deal of your life on this sorry excuse for a human being.. And if you have children with one, well that's another post... 

After the sociopath has moved on you must NOT CONTACT this person anymore. You will want too, because you are looking for closure. There is NO closure with the sociopath or the narcissist. They will not allow you to get any closure. They only allow you to feel pain.  

They KNOW the pain you are in (they have done this to others before you) 

Your pain is how they exercise their control on you without even being in a relationship with you. Do not let them control you anymore. 

As hard as it may seem, you must find the strength to interact with others. Talk to the genuine people in your life, and most importantly - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

When the person you loved has betrayed you, and emotionally and mentally abused you for years, sometimes it may seem that in order to keep the peace, you must keep quiet about the abuse. You become an unwilling victim of your abuser. The sociopath wants to destroy your self esteem, because it elevates their own self esteem. The sociopath has no boundaries with anyone, they do not respect anyone. 

They believe they can do whatever they want, to whoever they want. The way a sociopaths mind works is so distorted and twisted, that a normal human being cannot even begin to try to understand why the sociopath does what he/she does.

The sociopath lives their life without ever taking any responsibility for any of the lives they have destroyed. They bounce from one victim to the next. 

Some sociopaths actually convince themselves that they are the "victim". When the relationship is over (because of their cheating, lying and stealing) they take no responsibility for anything. The sociopath will start spreading lies about their victim as soon as the relationship is over (sometimes they begin their smear campaigns before it's over - to ensure that their victim has no credibility)

The sociopath will tell people that they finally left you because you were an abusive alcoholic. 

If you have children with the sociopath – expect the sociopath to tell everyone you both know (friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances)  that you are a "dead beat" parent. They will try to make you out to be a monster. There is no limits on what lies they tell. Even if the lies could land you in jail or to lose your job. 

THE SOCIOPATH DOES NOT CARE! I have seen lives destroyed by a females sociopaths lies about her children's father. I have seen a female sociopath say that her ex husband had slapped or hit their children.  Other examples that the female sociopath will say;

He abused me and our daughter, even breaking bones in my wrist; He gambled away all my money, I have gone broke trying to pay off all his debts and loan sharks ; He is a pathologic liar and a minimizer and his job is aware of this; He has left me in debt, and refuses to pay back owed taxes from when we were married.  

WHY DOES THE SOCIOPATH DO THIS TO SOMEONE THAT SHE HURT? AS IF THE MAN HASNT SUFFERED ENOUGH, BY THE CHEATING, LYING AND CRUELTY HE HAD ENDURED THE ENTIRE MARRIAGE..

Because the female sociopath is never happy until she breaks you down, crushes your soul, socially destroys you, isolates you from the world. 

THE REAL TRUTH BEHIND HER LIES AND CHARACTER ASSASSINATION —

The female sociopath will try to destroy her ex husband. When in fact the ex husband is a wonderful, kind and a caring father {and the only healthy relationship the children involved have with an adult} the ex husband has never hit or broken the bones of anyone, believe me - IF HE HAD, the sociopath would of called the police and had him arrested the second it happened (they love being able to be a victim)

The sociopath says that her ex gambled away all their money and now she has had to pay off debts - Hahaha! The female or male sociopath ALWAYS LEAVES THE VICTIM IN FINANCIAL RUINS, but it is usually the female who cries wolf, and plays the hero by claiming to have paid off the debt (so she can gain sympathy from others in hopes they will want to help her poor pitiful situation). 

When the sociopath accuses her ex husband or her other victims of things like pathological lying, and mental disorders - it is because she is projecting what is wrong with her into her ex or victim.

AND REGARDING financial ISSUES (oh this one I could go on forever about) The sociopath will NEVER pay off taxes (unless threatened by IRS jail time). I have personally
 seen in my profession where the sociopathic ex wife was writing blogs, tweeting, posting it on Facebook; how her ex (father of her children) owed so much money in taxes and it was affecting her credit, and she was unable to pay her mortgage on the home she won in divorce because of the tax situation that her ex husband was responsible for. Even saying that every child support check was seized by the IRS as soon as she deposited it into her account. ALL LIES !

In fact she was trying to save face because the home she "owned" was in foreclosure due to the fact that she just stopped paying the mortgage and the sheriff seized it and it was up for public auction. As far as the taxes are concerned. The ex husband had to hire a tax attorney to sort out the clusterf*ck of a mess that was accumulated while he was married to the sociopath. Knowing the sociopath would NOT pay her share of the taxes, the husband paid them all off (hers and his) because he knew she wouldn't pay them, and it would negatively affect his business. Of course his crazy ex-wife didn't work (although she claimed to) so it would affect her. She already had 20 judgements against her for other debts, loans that she never made good on. 

How the Female Narcissist Operates

The female narcissist is jealous of you.  She is jealous of who you are and what you have. She is jealous of other females. She does not have many female friends because it's difficult for her to maintain female friendships because her jealously comes out and most women do not want to keep that kind of friend in their circle. If you invited her into your circle, when you did not know what kind of female you were dealing with, she may have already started triangulation within your circle. Telling one person this, and another person else. Then turning those people against each other so that they do not speak. If they were to speak with one another - her lies would be exposed.  So always communicate in a group setting with any problems that are arising. 

You think your problems with the high school petty drama, were over in high school, right? Wrong, if a female narcissist has entered your life. 

A female narcissist will bring all that drama in, she always has and always will. She is not capable of having normal relationships with other females. Just like she can't be in a normal and healthy relationship with men.  

If you have caught on to her behavior, and she is unable to continue to manipulate and control the situation or you. She will attempt to control you another way. That is usually by controlling how others view you.  She will control you behind the scenes. By turning your fiends and others against you with lies. She will spread lies about you to your work. She will attempt to destroy you in the most covert way. After all she cannot allow you to possibly expose her for the evil manipulative human she is. She was prepared for this to happen long before you were. So the lies she began telling about you began long you became suspicious of her.  She was prepared to get revenge on you before things began to fall apart. 

She does so many manipulative, calculated, and underhanded things, the victims find themselves on the defense. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t feel insecure or like people were turning against you. But because your ex has etched it into your brain that you are at fault. You have begun to question everything about yourself. 

Don't question yourself. Go with your first instinct, trust your intuition. If you think this disordered soulless person is doing these awful things to you (even you have no proof) - they probably are!

Either way, the desired result is that you feel anxious, suspicious, and insecure about every little thing. You may even begin to feel guilty about your jealous thoughts and doubtful of your ability to act “normal”.  When and if you do confront the Narcissist/sociopath about your suspicions, she'll call you delusional or needy or bi-polar. 

The narcissist accuses you of everything that she really is herself. She also will do to you everything she accuses you of. 

So be alert and listen when she accuses you of something - because that accusation is about to happen to you! 

She will never admit to anything at all. She is able to look at you in the eyes with no emotion and claim she doesn’t have the slightest clue what you’re talking about…

The sociopath only wants to WIN

If you are a woman and are dealing with a sociopath ex. If you are lucky, your ex will find a new lover and become uninterested in seeing his children. Sociopath/narcissistic men usually are selfish and children are more of an inconvenience to them.
When a sociopathic male tries to seek custody of children , they do so because they want to either
1. Hurt the other parent.
2. If they make good money and are going to have to pay a large amount of child support.
If the sociopathic male is wealthy and has plenty of money to take you to court and fight for custody of the children - HE WILL DO SO. And of course if he is able to discredit the mother with lies and slander, and gets somewhat custody of the children, you can bet that he will not be the one who is taking care of the kids. He will have a relative take care of them or find a women who will take care of them.
He only wanted to take the children from the mother in order TO WIN.

That is what it is all about. WINNING. Male or Female. The sociopath wants to win. They want to turn you into dust. They will usually boast about how they have custody or how they are the "domiciliary" parent. They portray themselves as Mom or Dad of the year. Always talking about how they do this and that for their kids, and letting everyone know what a piece of shit the other parent is.

When dealing with a sociopath, in my experience NO CONTACT is the only option. Of course if you share children with the sociopath this becomes a bit more complicated. 

If you are a man, and you ex is a sociopath, this situation is difficult and frustrating. 
When children are younger, in order to see the children, communication will have to be made. Every interaction with the sociopath is going to be chaotic, frustrating, and stressful. 
But I can tell you that it does not have to last like this forever. 
There  is a light at the end of what seems like a very long, hopeless tunnel. 
Your children will get older. And soon you will be able to communicate directly with them. The sociopath will not like this at all. They will tell  you that you are an irresponsible parent for "using" the children to communicate with. They will give you lectures on how you should coparent with them. They will make desperate attempts to speak with you. They will use the kids to try to talk with you. They will make up lies about the children.  
Example: they will tell you that a child is having problems in school due to your lack of co-parenting, or that the child is going thru hormonal changes and they want you to talk with them about boys/girls, birds and bees, etc... Blah blah blah blah....

A close friend of mine dealt with a sociopathic ex for years, but started communicating with kids by cell phone he purchased for kids. The ex was losing control, but couldn't take kids phone because all other kids that age had phones, and she didn't want to look like the bad guy by taking it. But she was angry that she was unable to speak to him and manipulate and waste his time by using the kids. He was able to make plans to get the kids on his weekends, without having to go through the crap that came with dealing with the ex. She loved to waste his time by taking the children else where when he was suppose to pick up. 
 But if your child is able to communicate with you via cell phone/text, you will be able to confirm with them if what the other parent is telling you is true or false . 
Remember they only want direct communication with you, because without it they cannot manipulate you and use the children to waste your time and drain your energy and wallet. 

Finding our beautiful soul behind painful lessons

The best things those of us who have been terrorized by a sociopath is to lead the best possible life that we can. Everyones healing process will be different. But the truth is once the sociopath is out of your life, you have the chance to be free and discover who you truly are meant to be, before the sociopath came into your life and destroyed many beautiful parts of you.

When the healing starts to take place we will discover how many amazing gifts we have. We are able to choose those who deserve to be our company.

The sociopath manipulated us for so long we became lost and forgot our dreams and goals. Remembering these things will help you to heal and  calm your mind. This will be essential for us to begin healing and moving  forward in our life..
Do what you love everyday. Once you are free of the sociopath, you will find you now finally have the time to live your life. You may have to overcome certain fears and anxiety first, but this should be easy for you. You have survived a sociopath, and if you can do that, you can do ANYTHING!

The sociopath causes one to feel empty. Some of us have forgotten how to smile at others, make simple eye contact, or even just be silly and have fun. You are capable of all of these things. The real you is still there, some of us  just must go deep to find it.

Never forget that you have survived! Having a sociopath in your life means that you have been through a situation that was degrading, demeaning and horrible. Some of us even lived in the same home with the sociopath which was a house of terror, contemptuous and destructive treatment.
But we are still here today. We are not victims anymore. We are survivors. We endured every moment and every day with a monster who came across normal to the rest of the world. We felt fear of their arriving home, we felt anxiety of what emotional abuse was to come next, every single minute of the day that we were with the sociopath. We lived in fear and terror. The fact that we are still here and working to let go of that painful part of the past.  That deserves the deepest of respect.

We will heal from All the pain the sociopath has caused us. Unlike the sociopath we are capable of learning valuable life lessons from our painful life choices and mistakes. It is in these painful lessons, we become stronger, wiser, and better. It is in those painful lessons we learn that NO ONE owns us. We own ourself...

Once we have accepted that we were at the mercy of a very evil individual for months or years. All because we are kind, giving, loving, forgiving and genuine. And that is why the sociopath chose us. They do not choose people who are harsh, mean, aggressive and overly assertive, that would make manipulating, lying, cheating and controlling to hard for them. They don't much care for a challenge. In fact most of them are very lazy and would rather be able control and abuse without having to put a lot of effort towards it. They are looking for someone they believe will take being abused and keep their mouth shut about the abuse. Once the relationship had ended, the sociopath will always cover his/her tracks by slaughtering your character and making up lie after lie about you. This is one of the abusive acts that the sociopath will put extreme efforts towards. Just to be sure that if you do decide to speak about what was done to you, they have made sure no one will believe you.

Understand this is what these types of individuals do! Before you, they were doing it to someone else.  After you, they will find another victim and do the same to that person. You were not the first target/victim, and you will not be the last.

We will eventually find our way to the path of freedom. And will be set free from the emotional prison that the sociopath held us in. We will finally be rid of this evil creature once and for all.

Healing will start to take place. Although it does not occur over night. It is a process that takes time. But in this process you will learn more about yourself than you ever knew existed.
You will find out what an amazing person you are and that you have always been. 

A sociopath is a thief, they take so much from everyone. They take away confidence, peace of mind and faith in humanity. They steal the light that they see in the victim, and replace it with dark.
No matter how broken you think you are. All that the sociopath takes away from you can be restored.

The one thing that the sociopath can NEVER take from you, is your soul.

It is something that they do not not have and that they lack. They hate you and everyone else who has soul. No matter what terrible, evil, awful, hateful, deceptive, degrading, demeaning, immoral, horrific painful and abusive acts they have committed towards you.

You will always have a beautiful soul. 

And that is something that the sociopath will NEVER be able to experience, or be able to steal from you or anyone else. They will remain empty, shallow, miserable and unable to ever experience the beauty of love and compassion.